By Will Pruett
These rankings are scientifically calculated by the Rank-o-matic 4000 and verified by most top scientists in the wrestling arts. They are to be taken solemnly and with absolute seriousness.
1. Abeyance: As the longest reigning WWE Champion since John Cena lost the WWE Championship at SummerSlam, it is impossible not to put Abeyance at the top of this list. Abeyance is coming off of their first official title defense (with an assist from Big Show) squeaky clean. Of course, Abeyance is facing its biggest threat at Hell in a Cell. Could another improbably successful defense be on the horizon?
2. Bully Ray: Not only did he beat up A.J. Styles, he also apparently has the full support of the woman who's company he tried to viciously destroy with his rebel biker gang (and their social media intern). Everything seems to be coming up roses and daffodils for the big bad Bully Ray.
3. Daniel Bryan: He couldn't quite overcome the combined forces of Abeyance, Randy Orton, and Big Show in the most non-four way four way match ever. Well, it wasn't actually a four-way, but Bryan still did not win. This whole story is probably leading to Bryan winning the WWE Championship, but some damage has been done. On the plus side, the best wrestler in the world is still main eventing for WWE and is marrying Brie Bella. Life is good.
4. Alberto Del Rio: Sure, he has the challenge of mutant John Cena facing him in just about two weeks and he just lost to a manager with little-to-no wrestling skill, but he is still World Heavyweight Champion, which is the second highest ranking championship in WWE. Del Rio is still doing excellent work as a heel, but this week probably hurts him. Ultimately, he will join the elite company of Chris Jericho in losing to Cena on his first night back after an injury.
5. Cody Rhodes and Goldust: They would probably be lower on this list if it wasn't for the amazing Darth Maul-inspired face paint that Goldust wore at Battleground. Not only did they have the best match at Battleground, but Goldie won the best dressed award for the pay-per-view as well.
6. Randy Orton: The new, old, and more vicious Randy Orton has not had a chance to be the centerpiece heel in WWE, which he is well capable of doing. He also hasn't had a chance to win many important matches.
7. A.J. Styles: I'm pretty sure Styles would be ranked higher if he would have taken the money (more than he has ever seen) from Dixie Carter and bailed. While some wrestling analysts would say this proves he is a mark for the business, I would say turning down the money is just kind of dumb. Styles could have just ran in during the main event of Bound for Glory and taken the title. Impact Wrestling is, apparently, in chaos anyways. Aside from the money, A.J. beat two guys in a fair fight. Good for him.
8. Adam Cole: The ROH and PWG World Champion is reaching new career heights and quickly becoming the most valuable player on the independent wrestling scene. Cole is getting a chance to show how great his heel character (which has carried PWG for the last year) can be on a more national stage in ROH. I would be shocked if we aren't seeing an Adam Cole farewell to the indies tour in the next year.
9. C.M. Punk: When you team up with R-Truth, you immediately fall down the power rankings, even if he didn't sing his silly theme song. Of course, he also needed a low blow to beat Ryback and did a strange Randy Savage impression during his tag team match. This has not been a great week for the Punkster.
10. John Cena: Apparently, he is actually Wolverine and can automatically heal from injuries. This is going to make him much more difficult to beat. Perhaps an Adamantium skeleton being implanted in his body would keep these injuries from happening in the first place.
Just missing the cut: Triple H, Kurt Angle, Bobby Roode, The Shield, Stephanie McMahon, Kevin Steen, The Young Bucks, Goldberg, Paul Heyman, Ryback, and El Torito.
Nowhere near this list: Zack Ryder, Tamina, Big E Langston, Rob Van Dam (one must be spiritually healthy to be near the list), Michael Hayes, The Miz, Hulk Hogan, Dixie Carter, and B-Boy.
Will Pruett writes about wrestling in a facetious and often humorous way. Feel free to email him at firstname.lastname@example.org or to follow him and interact on twitter at twitter.com/itswilltime.
Pruett's Weekly Power Rankings: Will Pruett uses his biased eye and tremendous discernment to break down the top ten wrestlers in WWE, TNA, ROH... hell, the entire industry
Oct 13, 2013 - 01:22 PM
Oct 13, 2013 - 01:22 PM
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