By Will Pruett
These rankings are scientifically calculated by the Rank-o-matic 4000 and verified by most top scientists in the wrestling arts. They are to be taken solemnly and with absolute seriousness.
1. Bully Ray. Bully Ray had a tall task in front of him on this week's Impact and he accomplished it. He made me want to see his match against A.J. Styles despite the odd buildup involving Dixie Carter and A.J.'s bangs. Bully's heel work lacked a little bit recently, but this week he did really well. I don't think his biker gang is going to stand behind him much longer, but it's more fun to ride alone anyways.
2. Randy Orton. Anytime you get to beat up The Miz, you get the chance to move up in these rankings. Sure, he didn't decimate him in Trent of his uncaring father again, but he did manage to beat him. Orton also built up the match he will likely never have with Shawn Michaels quite well. Imaginary matches and Miz beatings are power rankings gold.
3. A.J. Styles. A.J. would be number one in these ranks had he made it rain on Impact this past week. As it is, he did throw a great deal of money into the air. He just didn't finish the job. Styles also looked pretty tough for calling out the men trying to collect the bounty against him. Styles is heading into a major match (possibly the most important performance of his career) and looked pretty awesome going in.
4. Abeyance. The biggest threat to abeyance's title reign appeared on Monday Night Raw, with Shawn Michaels vowing that there would be a winner in Hell in a Cell. Abeyance was silent, more silent than even Daniel Bryan, in the face of this threat. If abeyance is going to continue being a WWE Champion, he is going to have to step up and show how much of a man he can be.
5. Big Show's Fist. Little known fact: by virtue of actually doing the work, Show's fist should (and could) actually be the WWE Tag Team champions. I know his fist is just one fist and I know he technically cannot hold tag tiles on his own, but Show defies all logic and rules. Big Show's fist was the star of the end of Raw this week and, as sad as that is, is warrants it a spot in these rankings.
6. Candice LeRae. This is a mildly random one, but last night she stole the show and was the best performer on an absolutely loaded PWG card. Candice is a fantastic wrestler who somehow convincingly wrestles men despite looking more like A.J. Lee than she does Chyna. Her match with Joey Ryan against The Young Bucks was a masterpiece of wrestling storytelling.
7. Daniel Bryan. It's strange how easy it is to fall down these rankings when you hardly talk. Sure, he has been robbed of the title three times. Sure, he should be able to rightfully call himself champion. Sure, he should be mad. The thing is, he isn't. He's cheerleading. While I loved the old SNL cheerleaders, I don't like Daniel Bryan playing the role.
8. Cody Rhodes and Goldust. It is rare that a team wins the Tag Team Championships in a fairly electric moment and ends up dropping in the rankings. It is also rare that said team doesn't get to talk at all and ends up with the fruits of their labor being negated but he fists of a giant (ranked higher than the team this week). Goldust and Cody did some nice work on Raw, but they were cogs in a story, not the story themselves.
9. Triple H. How did Triple H rise up the ranks to make the list this week? By taking off his jacket. Anytime the corporate version of the COO takes off his jacket, it is business time. He might as well be wearing his business socks as well. That's why they call them business socks. I can't say I'm encouraged by the thought of a Triple vs. Big Show match, but it would be a chance to see the WrestleMania 2000 main event we almost had.
10. Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio is going to win matches until the man without the ability to stay hurt comes back and beats him. This is fine. Alberto is setting up his match with Cena fairly well. His main opponent right now is a set of video packages with Cena lifting weights. He's going to show those videos what he is made of.
Just missing the cut: Bobby Roode, Kurt Angle, Adam Cole, Kevin Steen, The Young Bucks, Joey Ryan, C.M. Punk, Ryback, Stephanie McMahon, Lei'D Tapa, Johnny Gargano, and El Torito.
Nowhere near this list: The Miz, The Bro-Mans, Joseph Park, James Storm, Chris Sabin, Fandango, R-Truth, Jay Bradley, and B-Boy.
Will Pruett writes about wrestling in a facetious and often humorous way. Feel free to email him at email@example.com or to follow him and interact on twitter at twitter.com/itswilltime.
Pruett's Weekly Power Rankings: Will Pruett uses his biased eye and tremendous discernment to break down the top ten wrestlers in WWE, TNA, PWG... hell, the entire industry
Oct 20, 2013 - 03:20 PM
Oct 20, 2013 - 03:20 PM
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