By Will Pruett
These rankings are scientifically calculated by the Rank-o-matic 4000 and verified by four out of five top scientists in the wrestling arts. They are to be taken solemnly and with absolute seriousness.
1. Daniel Bryan and Seattle's 12th Man. I wouldn't call what Seattle did on Monday night a full-on revolt from the WWE fans, but I would consider it a statement. A secondary statement was the Slammy voting, which overwhelmingly favored Daniel Bryan. I know the run from the end of SummerSlam to right now was difficult, but I have faith in things turning out alright for Bryan in the end. Maybe I'm too optimistic. Seattle gets half of this ranking by bringing the hometown pride and continuing to cheer Bryan no matter what.
2. John Cena. It's difficult to pick an MVP from Raw's exciting final segment, but I have to go with John Cena. When he actually chooses to be a serious wrestler with serious problems and a serious past, magic can happen. It's odd for such a polarizing performer to do something so universally praised as great. Now, I can only wish for Cena to stop wearing jean shorts and actually dress like a wrestler. Alas, a boy can dream.
3. Adam Cole. Perhaps I should say "Adam Cole Bay-Bay" here. Cole is rocking it as the arrogant heel on the indie scene. Going into Ring of Honor's Final Battle show (which has already happened, but has not been shown because people love Monday morning iPPVs) Cole is the only interesting part of their main event scene. Seeing what was a slightly bland tag performer become a fully-realized dynamic performer relying on his personality has been pretty cool.
4. Vickie Guerrero. This is as close as I come to a sympathy vote. This week's Slammy Awards demonstrated how much WWE loves to embarrass and humiliate Guerrero for no real reason. They put their babyfaces over by allowing them to be chauvinistic towards her. They even give awards for half-assed comedic songs about her. Vickie is a trooper and has been one of WWE's most valuable assets for over five years. She deserves better.
5. Vince Russo. While we all chastised TNA for their silly match concepts, Russo kept thinking of more. Given the inception of the Dixieland match, I'm convinced Russo left TNA with a large box full of random ideas and Dixieland was picked out of a random drawing. I can only imagine what else might be in that box. Way to go, Russo.
6. Austin Aries. Not only was Aries pretty kind to fans talking to him at last weekend's WCA show, but he also randomly won the TNA X Division Championship on Impact this week. The match meant almost nothing and Aries was the third most important participant in it, but he has a gold and blue belt in his carry-on now. Carry on weight is pretty important to wrestlers.
7. Brie Bella. How can I not praise both my own, and the world's favorite WWE diva? She would be higher on these rankings, but sadly she had to share her Slammy with her lesser half. If only we could have written in just one Bella twin on the ballot.
8. Fandango. The theme song humming dancing fool reminded everyone on Raw how great of a worker he can be as well. Fandango should be universally high-fived for playing a great heel in Daniel Bryan's homecoming opening match. At TLC he gets to wrestle Ziggler in what will likely be a similar role. Fandango's gimmick isn't holding him back from being a great wrestler.
9. Joseph Park. The journey of self-discovery is a complicated one. I went through it as a teenager and ended up in a weird (no pun intended) abyss akin to The Perks of Being a Wallflower except without the drugs. Park has been on his own journey of self discovery. It began at a fake law office and ended in a wrestling ring covered in blood. He has finally found who he is, and he happens to be a monster. It happens sometimes.
10. Big Show. Among the wreckage from The Authority's mess of a story is the current aborted push of Big Show. Somehow he went from a broke giant doing the will of those above him, to an outlaw badass threatening to bring WWE to its knees, to just another guy. Show's story was terrible. His push has been bad. He's needlessly overexposed at this point. Remember when we were praising his series with Sheamus a year ago?
Just missing the cut: Goldust, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, every other former champion in the ring on Monday night, C.M. Punk, A.J. Styles' bartender, Rey Mysterio, and Randy Orton.
Nowhere near this list: Christopher Daniels, Kazarian, Rockstar Spud, the deer head in A.J. Styles' living room, Great Khali, The Miz, RybAxel (or AxelBack), Natalya, and B-Boy.
Will Pruett writes about wrestling in a facetious and often humorous way. Feel free to email him at firstname.lastname@example.org or to follow him and interact on twitter at twitter.com/itswilltime.
12/15 Pruett's Weekly Power Rankings: Will Pruett uses his biased eye and tremendous discernment to break down the top ten wrestlers in WWE, TNA, ROH, PWG... hell, the entire industry
Dec 15, 2013 - 06:00 PM
Dec 15, 2013 - 06:00 PM
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