By Will Pruett
These rankings are scientifically calculated by the Rank-o-matic 4000 and verified by four out of five top scientists in the wrestling arts. They are to be taken solemnly and with absolute seriousness.
1. Kurt Angle. From being number two in my rankings last week, Angle only helped his case with a great match on this week's Impact. Sadly, the match wasn't what it could have been due to some weak storytelling around the Angle head trauma issue. It's interesting to see Angle being used as the top star in TNA again, displacing Abeyance and Sting.
2. Chris Hero. After being released last week, Chris Hero has taken advantage of the name recognition and of fresh matches on the indie scene and booked himself solidly into next year. Hero is the hottest property on the indies today and has added a much-needed boost of excitement to an otherwise slumping independent product. As a fan, I'm quite curious to see how Hero performs in these comeback matches. I doubt he'll be back on the indies for long. If TNA is even trying to produce a good product, they should have already called Hero.
3. C.M. Punk and Daniel Bryan. I would be lying if I said I had put them on this list for any reason other than coming up with a tag team name for them. Already out there are "The Best and The Beard" and "The Meta Powers." What about bringing back the "Team Friendship" monicker WWE abandoned? There's always the celebrity couple route for "BryPunk." They could play off of their move sets with "The Outside Divers" and adopt a scuba gimmick. What if they got all 50 Shades on WWE and became "The Submissive Submission Warriors?"
4. Vacations. If you walked away from Raw this week remembering one thing, it was that Triple H and Stephanie (La Autoridad in Spanish) were on vacation. While no one mentioned where their vacation was occurring (to preserve their privacy, I assume), vacation was likely the most used word on Raw. Everyone needs to get away sometimes and Triple H and Stephanie did just that. Good for them and good for vacations all around the world.
5. Announce Table Manufacturers. If you're the weird type of fan who watches wrestling weekly, but judges it solely based on how much money is made, you would probably rank the manufacturers of announce tables higher. The truth of it is they may be making more than anyone else in wrestling these days. Last week it was Big Show. This week is was Orton. Announce tables are shattering all around us and they need to be replaced. Without an announce table, how is Michael Cole supposed to show me how to download an app?
6. The Shield and The Wyatt Family. These groups land on this list as one entity, not for being run off by babyfaces, but for the brawl they almost got into. Nothing in wrestling this week was more exciting than the showdown between WWE's dastardly evil trios. This was a tease for what could be a huge program in the near future. I'm all about Shield vs. Wyatt's at WrestleMania. Turn someone babyface over the next few months and make it happen, WWE.
7. Mr. Kane. In the rapidly changing and moving world of wrestling authority figures, Kane has suddenly risen to the top of the lower rung. Kane is currently directing operations. I'm not sure if he is doing this for WWE as an organization or for Triple H and Stephanie as individuals. What I am sure of is how great this footage will be someday when Kane is running for the Senate.
8. Brie Bella. The return of Total Divas also signals the return of my crush on Brie Bella. She is the only person to make this list by sheer force of awesomeness. Brie is rapidly improving as a wrestler and as a performer. She is also quite down to earth and good looking. Basically, she rules.
9. The Uso's. They would probably be higher on this list if JBL didn't annoy me so much by shouting out the crowd response portion of their entrance. As it is, they have been on a hot streak. They were awarded some time in the closing segment of Raw this week, which is still a pretty big deal. Some character development from them would be pretty awesome (this could be a criticism for anyone on the WWE roster though), but they had a big week.
10. Johnny Gargano. This week "The Whole Shebang" (not just half a shebang, like most wrestlers) Johnny Gargano surpassed two years as DGUSA Open the Freedom Gate Champion (DGUSA is all about opening gates). This is quite the accomplishment on any level. Gargano is one of the best on the indie scene and was basically discovered by DGUSA booker Gabe Sapolsky. His rise in DGUSA has been great and his reign has been even better. It's only a matter of time until we're seeing him on Monday or Thursday nights.
Just missing the cut: British stereotypes, Zeb Colter and The Real Americans, Austin Aries, Sami Zayn, The Young Bucks, Gail Kim, Rikishi, The Rhodes Brothers, and Bobby Roode.
Nowhere near this list: Joseph Park, Christopher Daniels, The Union Jacks, 3MB, John Cena, arm wrestling, Alberto Del Rio, Big Show, Vinnie, Ariane, Natalya, Zack Ryder, and R-Truth.
Will Pruett writes about wrestling in a facetious and often humorous way. Feel free to email him at email@example.com or to follow him and interact on twitter at twitter.com/itswilltime.
11/17 Pruett's Weekly Power Rankings: Will Pruett uses his biased eye and tremendous discernment to break down the top ten wrestlers in WWE, TNA, ROH, PWG... hell, the entire industry
Nov 17, 2013 - 03:02 PM
Nov 17, 2013 - 03:02 PM
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