Diva on Divas Week 11: Dot Net's resident diva on Total Divas - Jealousy overcomes Natalya and Brie Bella, Ariane gets sex therapy, John Cena and Nikki discuss signing paperwork, and more!
By Will Pruett
Apparently season two is happening. I guess this means I'm here for the long haul. It's cool world. I've got your back...
Jealousy can be a frightening thing. I'd imagine it is more frightening in a very physical profession. In my life, I can be jealous of someone's skill set, but no one is really jealous of a good looking stage manager. Nothing in my life requires me to be pretty (Don't get me wrong, I'm a handsome beast, but still.). In wrestling, everyone has to deal with the demand of being pretty, being available, not being crazy, and being good at what they do.
Natalya was jealous because T.J. has apparently never worked in the ring with another woman, and obviously this means he is going to sex her up. Said "other woman" is the "engaged" Eva Marie, who was learning to weakly apply a submission move from T.J. and Sara Del Rey. Side note: how weird is it to see Eva Marie getting a chance to wrestle on national TV while Del Rey is training her? At least Del Rey is making some solid cash at the performance center.
Brie Bella is jealous of the time "Daniel" Bryan Danielson now has to commit to being a top star. He has media demands, appearances, phone calls, and everything else pressing on him and time with Brie (and Josie) is becoming scarce. This hurts Brie, and for a moment, she goes off the rails with jealousy. Eventually, she accepts this rough patch and logically discusses it with Bryan. Have I mentioned how great these two are? No one went to a hotel. No one did anything illogical. They just worked through their issues by communicating? They're the best.
Natalya and T.J. eventually communicated and Natalya admitted to drinking some of the crazy juice. This was necessary. She was sippin' the crazy hard.
Jealousy happens to everyone, but the secret is working through it without suddenly becoming a monster. Natalya became an odd jealousy monster. Brie Bella logically worked through her problems. Basically, Brie Bella is the best.
Picking up the pieces:
- What is it with this show and sex toys? I can't remember them being prominently featured on wrestling television this frequently prior to Total Divas, but between Nikki Bella's sex toy box last week and Vinnie buying every toy in the sex shop this week, it's getting straight up weird.
- Speaking of Vinnie and Ariane, I still don't like either of them. There was a whole lot of vagina chat on this episode, as Ariane worked through her problems with sex, but Vinnie just seems kind of ridiculous still. Maybe the secret is him getting laid more often. Perhaps he'll settle down a little.
- Some strange editing made it seem like the sex therapist went from calm and asking questions to yelling at Ariane about how she needs to get a vibrator and try BDSM. This was a rather sudden leap. I'm going to blame editing, but I secretly hope it actually went down this way.
- When someone says "try using a vibrator," what kind of person goes out and buys seven? Vinnie is crazy.
- John Cena supports his family financially, since he has more money than he will ever know what to do with. Obviously this means Nikki Bella should sign his cohabitation agreement. I am not sure I understood how one thing is related to the other.
- Honestly, Momma Bella had a point when telling Nikki lawyers make relationships very cut and dry and when she encouraged Nikki to go with how it feels.
- There are a million reasons to prefer Brie to Nikki. I'm going to use Nikki ending a serious conversation with "oral sex everyday" as a condition in a prenup as my favorite one this week. Home girl is crazy.
- I can't help but feel sorry for Josie, who is missing out on some serious Bryan time. Dude, it's not just about you and WWE. There's a dog involved. Get it together.
Next week in Diva on Divas: Nikki Bella wants to decorate, Trinity's dad comes to town and creates issues with the Uso she is dating, Vinnie tries to wrestle and tries to ruin the only good wrestling show left, and some other stuff!
You know what's great? When your feedback doesn't annoy me. Give it your best shot and feel free to email me at email@example.com or to follow me and interact on twitter at twitter.com/itswilltime. Basically, let's be best friends.
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