The following email was sent to Rich Twilling from Dot Net reader Jay Starr after Thursday's TNA Impact.

Rich, I just read your report and watched Impact, and none of my wrestling buddies are around, so by God, I'm venting to you. Prepare for the longest mailbag response ever.

Man. How hard could it be?

How hard can it possibly be to tweak TNA Impact so that I actually care about what's going on?

Not hard at all, really. Rich, seriously. MEM's biggest problem is that they're not coming off as heels. What has every heel done in the history of pro wrestling? Blamed the crowd. It takes one sentence. Take Sting saying, "You guys in the back have no respect for us" and add a sentence: "You guys in the back have no respect for us, and you idiots are cheering them on!" It's not even a sentence! I added a whatever the thing that comes after a comma is called! Whatever dude, I'm not a grammar scientist. Anyway, instant heels, instant audience involvement.

You asked a great question in your report, by the way- why in the hell did Beer Money team up with Booker T? Easy solution? A one minute backstage promo where Booker T says that he's gonna give two young guys with respect a chance to take out Cage and the Guns. Beer Money kisses the bigger heel's butt, making them even heelier. Done.

Yeah, leave Jeff Jarrett's family out, Kurt. Good lord. This does hit MEM's second biggest problem, though- what does MEM want? This whole thing is so unclear. So just take a(nother) page out of the NWO's playbook- at the beginning of the show when MEM hits the ring, just have them all address their problems then, and give some more time back to matches: "AJ, darn you!" "Jarrett, I'm tired of this promotion not respecting!" "Cage, my bad accent will crush you!" "I'm Kevin Nash!" Done.

Man, that sure is a bunch of tag teams. Do I care about anyone in this match? Nope. Would it have been wise to give each team a 30 second segment to plug their angle in this match? Team 3D wants to dominate? LAX wants to do it for the fans? The international new guys want to make an impact? Abyss and Matt Morgan want a new puppy? Hey, I as a fan am somewhat invested now because I know each team's stakes.

Wait...why did Beer Money just prevent a face team from winning so that an even bigger face team could win? ...

I think TNA should do something ballsy and point out that Rhyno has been talking about deporting a Muslim American based on his faith, and turn Shawn Daivari face. The turban is so '80s that I'm expecting Sgt. Slaughter to show up to fight the guy.

Also, maybe someone could or could not win a match cleanly. For once. Eh? Eh.

See? Simple. Add that comma thing, like 10 minutes worth of pre taped backstage promos, let someone win a clean match, and turn Daivari face. Boom!

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