Powell's Blog: Random thoughts on the live WWE Raw experience - Vince McMahon, Mike Tyson, Hornswoggle, Santino Marella, Bret Hart, DX, John Cena

Posted in: Powell's Blog
By By Jason Powell
Jan 13, 2010 - 12:40 PM

Wednesday, January 13 – 12:40 P.M. (CT)

-I knew I was going to a pro wrestling show when I pulled into the parking lot and had to wait for a guy to finish urinating on the frozen asphalt before I could pull my car into the assigned spot. Sure, I could have honked and made a scene, but I've actually been that guy before (it's my Wisconsin roots), so I let it slide. I had a friend once who got pissed because another friend pissed on his tires. Did he like to lick his tires when no one was looking? Seriously, what's the difference?

-Getting back to Wisconsin for a second, what's with the lack of Smackdown spoiler reports from last night's taping in Green Bay? Was their a mass suicide after the Packers lost on Sunday? I agree with the NFL talking heads that it was a great game...if you have a disdain for defense. I'm happy to see that the big switch to the 3-4 worked out so well when it counted. Stay hot, Dom Capers.

-Win or lose on Sunday, the Vikings had a better season than the Packers and beat them twice. Life is good. And don't waste your time with the ridiculous "You did it with our quarterback" stuff. Did Falcons fans write the same thing during Brett Favre's years in Green Bay? Did Eagles fans act like the Packer fans owed them something because the The Pack signed Reggie White as a free agent years ago? Are you guys sending thank you letters to the Raiders fans for giving up Charles Woodson? Why does your head coach strain to talk with a deep voice to sound like a tough guy? Where were we again?

-The WWE merchandise tables I saw were letdowns. I wasn't looking to buy, but I always take a look to see what the wrestling companies are selling. In this case, WWE was loaded up on DX and John Cena gear. There were a few other t-shirts available including Bret Hart, Randy Orton, and Kofi Kingston, but there wasn't much of a variety. WWE has to be missing out on some coin by not selling more Smackdown merchandise at Raw shows.

-Ring announcer Justin Roberts doesn't like being heckled. You'd think he'd laugh it off by now, but he was clearly looking up to see who was heckling him in the crowd. Try it at future shows and let me know if he's still overly concerned with being taunted.

-There were kids everywhere. There was also the usual 20-something males in attendance, but they appeared to be outnumbered by families. The kids love Cena, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and, yes, Hornswoggle. Just as many of us can't understand Hornswoggle's appeal, the kids can't understand why we don't like him. Groan over Hornswoggle coming out and you'll be greeted with looks that could kill from six year-olds all around you.

-Everyone likes Santino Marella. "Likes" is the key word. He didn't get a mega-pop, but there were smiles all around when he came out. I've always wondered if he likes rocking the unibrow. It's not like it adds anything to the character, and it must suck to go through life like that. I don't know what Mr. Marella's love life is like, but it has to cost him some tail if he's a hotel bar hound.

-It didn't seem like the fans were dying to see Bret Hart. His video package received polite applause, but I didn't get the sense that the families were as disappointed as I was that Hart wasn't on the show.

-The fans chanted "boring" at Vince McMahon's promo because, well, it was really f'n boring. We've come to expect more from the chairman, and this was as uneventful as it gets.

-Mike Tyson didn't get a big reaction from the families. As cool as it was to see the one-time pay-per-view king in person, he didn't get a big pop. Did I really hear Rich Twilling ask in Dot Net audio if there was "silent juice in the water" in Minnesota? Silent juice? Really? Is there "really lame joke juice" in the Sacramento water?

-Why bother with dark match main events if you're not going to take them seriously? The Sheamus vs. Cena match was a two-minute countout classic. I didn't expect a WrestleMania-like moment, but it would have been nice if the company didn't end the show in such an anticlimactic manner. I guess it didn't really matter since the bulk of the fans headed for the exits after the Raw main event concluded.

-One two-minute Divas match is more than enough. The fans were cool with the Alicia Fox vs. Kelly Kelly match early in the show, but people were racing for the bathroom when the second Divas match took place. By the way, Eve needs a persona. We've seen her hang with Cryme Tyme and the guest hosts, and we've watched Chris Masters bounce his tits for her, but we don't know anything about her.

-I hate Nickelback. After suffering through clips of the Raw theme song roughly 200 times during the show, someone actually tried to hand me a flier advertising that the shitty chick rock band is playing in the Twin Cities soon. I don't care if you're a guy and you like Nickelback, spare me the emails. The bottom line is that you have bad musical taste and should not be allowed to breed. Seriously, the government should do something to insure that future generations won't have to listen to shitty music that caters to cougars who are still trying to cram themselves into the same dresses they wore to see Poison back in the day.

-Silent juice in the water?

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