TNA Destination X pay-per-view preview and predictions

These predictions are made without any inside knowledge of the planned match finishes. In other words, I’m guessing just like you are.

Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash and Christian vs. Kurt Angle and Tomko and A.J. Styles: The heel team will work the first five minutes of the match with only two wrestlers because they lost the best-of-three singles match series on Impact. That’s totally opposite of just about every War Games match, which is probably why they did it. TNA doesn’t seem to care about logic. They just like to go against the grain.

I suspect there’s a Nash injury angle coming. He mentioned his surgically repaired knees during a promo on Thursday. Angle told Styles to take out his knees. The announcers reiterated his knee problems during his match with Styles. Then Nash acted like his knee buckled while he was trying to perform a powerbomb on Styles. Perhaps Nash will suffer the injury early, take a powder, and leave the babyfaces shorthanded for the bulk of the match.

That would be one way to not only even the sides early, but also leave the babyface team shorthanded for the rest of the match. Oh, and it would also give Big Kev a paycheck for only a few minutes of work. With Joe vs. Angle scheduled for next month, I’m picking Joe to pin Angle in a rare clean finish to a pay-per-view main event match.

Rhino vs. James Storm in an Elevation X match: Two guys stumble around cautiously on top of the scaffold. They both tease falling several times. Storm hangs from the scaffold and eventually falls into the ring. You know, Styles did in the bump TNA inexplicably showed during the video teasers for this match. Some things are better off left to the imagination—like Kim Kardashian’s backside. You know, I kind of had a feeling it was going to look like it did in those bikini photos, but I had convinced myself that it wasn’t so sloppy. Where were we again?

The only thing TNA could have done worse than showing A.J.’s bump would have been showing a shot his match from the live crowd’s perspective. The hanging parts of the match are fine, but the people on the main floor are going to spend most of the match watching the video screen. Then again, this is pay-per-view so screw the live crowd. Did I mention that I encourage anyone who attends the show to send in a report of any off-camera happenings?

Black Machismo vs. Petey Williams in an X Division Title match: Jay Lethal vs. Petey Williams is on the card? Sweet. Oh wait, this is TNA, which means it’s going to be Black Machismo vs. Maple Leaf Muscle. Ugh. I’m sure they’ll have a good match, but I just can’t get past these corny gimmicks the X Division guys have. I know a lot of people dig the Machismo character and I get a kick out of Shark Boy’s latest gimmick, but I miss the serious X Division that focussed on in-ring action.

I’m guessing they’ll do a title change so that they can have a long program and distract viewers from picking up on the fact that there are only like five X Division guys left on the roster. Come back Amazing Red! Oh, and bring Jerry Lynn and an unmasked Christopher Daniels with you.

Booker T vs. Robert Roode in a strap match: I was looking forward to this match until they added the strap gimmick. I was hoping for a good match, but now it’s just going to be two guys yanking on the strap and whipping each another. If I wanted to see two half-naked men take turns whipping each other I’d watch “Jackass.” What? Where did you think I was going with that? The added stipulation that either Traci Brooks or Payton Banks will take 10 lashes leads me to believe that Booker will get the win, perhaps with help from Sharmell.

Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim vs. ODB for the TNA Knockouts Title: A potential show stealing match. I’m not sure how much three-way experience these women have (insert your own joke here), which could hurt the match if it’s not laid out properly in advance. I think it’s more likely that they have one of the top two matches on the show. There’s no reason to take the strap off Kong right now.

Eric Young and Kaz vs. Black Reign and Rellik: Eric is afraid of monsters, but they’ve been building up the story line that he needs to dig deep down and find an alter-ego within himself. Please tell me this isn’t setting up a goofball comic book character or another lame ass impersonation character. Here’s hoping he just steps up and fights them. Either way, I assume the guys with contracts will beat the heel duo that works on nightly deals.

Team 3D vs. Curry Man and Shark Boy: Team 3D must make weight or they will be fired. We’re supposed to take this seriously even though the TNA website ad for the pay-per-view doesn’t even mention that stipulation. It’s a Fish Market street fight, so get ready for a bunch of dumbass fish jokes that only Don West and the writers will find funny. Someone will be smacked over the head with a fish.

I like to think there’s a chance that this match is designed to get Team 3D back on track. It would be great if they would squash their opponents in an old school Dudleys violent manner and then cut a promo about how their done joking around and weighing in. I don't care if it doesn't make sense in this case, just get them away from the weight jokes. Team 3D wins with help from Johnny Devine (since heels can’t win clean) and sticks around for more silly weight jokes.

The Motor City Machine Guns vs. LAX vs. The Rock-n-Rave Infection: I’d be much more excited about this match if the Rock-n-Rave Infection wasn’t involved. I don’t mind the three people involved in the act, but they’ve been saddled with the worst gimmick in wrestling. Some people feel it’s so bad that it’s good and I’m sure it gets great “go away” heat live, but it’s definitely a channel changer for everyone watching at home.

TNA did nothing to build up this match in the weeks leading up to the show even though the Guns are on the pay-per-view poster. I suspect the outcome of the match will tell us whether the Guns are still in the doghouse. The creative team tends to hold grudges, but I’d like to think they’ll look past it this time around and put the Guns over if for no other reason than they are appearing on MTV this weekend. I can’t even imagine what any MTV viewers who order this show after seeing the Guns will think when the Infection walk out with those Guitar Hero axes.