PWG Legends Battle Royal: A full report on the match that featured Terry Funk, Roddy Piper, Tito Santana, Jimmy Hart, The Barbarian, Shane Douglas, Chavo Classic, Savio Vega, Danny Davis, and other legends
Dot Net reader Ron Wolek attended the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla event in Los Angeles, Calif. on Saturday and passed along the following report on the Legends Battle Royal.
Mean Gene announcing, Jim Niedhart and Ken Patera couldn't make it. The story floating around is that they got too drunk with fans at the bar waiting for the show to start. Mando and Chavo Guerrero replaced them. The match went down Royal Rumble style. Iron sheik, Mr. Saito, Mr. Wonderful, and Harley Race were all are at ringside. Race had a striped shirt and may have been a special enforcer. He guarded Mean Gene the whole match.
The first entrant was Danny Davis. Number two was Mike Graham. Jimmy Hart rushed out as number three and quickly double teamed Graham by choking him out with his wrist tape for a Hart Foundation reunion. Jimmy was on fire as the crowd shouted f--- him up Jimmy. Hart taunted Graham as Danny held him back.
Number four was Tito Santana, who went after Danny Davis. Davis tried to defend himself with a double axe handle. Jimmy still had Graham on the ground. Barry Orton came in and sided with Hart and Davis for the Mike Graham beat down. I think Hart and Graham have a grudge. Barbarian came in at number six. Followed by la legend Rock Riddle, the other Mr. Wonderful.
Barbarian and Jimmy Hart form a odd double team on Graham. Hart coached Barbarian, who tossed Graham as Shane Douglas made his entrance. Hart celebrated and showed great conditioning as he ran around a few times. Douglas went right after Tito. The two had a classic punch out series with Tito getting the better end.
Rock took his time and Hart chilled on the top rope ala Shawn Michaels. The Warlord entered as Rock Riddle finally got in the ring and revealed '60s flower power trunks with singlet. Warlord went right after Jimmy who jumps over the top rope in fear. Warlord never got his hands on The Mouth. Mean Gene and the crowd laughed at what a pussy Hart was. Barbarian and Barry Orton were eliminated while no one was looking, I think by Tito Santana. Douglas and Tito brawled and Douglas tossed Tito.
Iron Sheik entered the crowd to cheers and walked out on the match. Sheik was wearing a baby blue ski cap that was ridiculous. Hurricane Helms made his entrance.
Chavo Guerreo entered to Low Rider and can dance well. We got warlord, Davis, Chavo, Douglas, Hurricane, and rock left as Savio Vega ran in for his entry. Rock's hair is a mess now and is taking a heavy beating from everyone in pin ball formation around the ring.
The next entrances happen right after the other in quick succession with no breaks.
-Bob Orton came out complete with his cast.
-Mando Guerreo entered to cool music, and Chavo again danced, sparing himself from a Bob Orton beat down. He is really good.
-More lucha music as this fat masked guy dressed in neon green body suit with yellow tights entered. The fan next to me called him El Lime. Fat guy did jumping jacks as Desperado by The Eagles played for entrance music. Chavo looked pissed and threw fatty in the corner and tried to remove green guy's mask.
-The desperado music was for Terry Funk and the crowd cheered. Funk went right for Douglas, renewing their feud. The crowd chanted ECW. The crowd also told annoying Juggalo fans to shut the f--- up. The JCW fans looked like dogs cowering.
The action filled the ring now and it became hard to follow the as mayhem rocked on. Savio Vega helped eliminate Warlord, who continued his bad battle royal/rumble record for underperforming. Danny Davis was still in and looked to be the iron man. Just as I thought that, he was eliminated by Orton or Douglas.
Bag pipes played and the crowd roared for Roddy Piper. Piper went right in and appeared to help Orton but instead there was a double cross! Eye poke to Orton. Eye pokes everywhere! Piper on fire!
Vampiro rushed in, followed by Val Venis, and Tatanka was our final man. Tatanka was in the best ring shape tonight.
Funk has removed Orton's cast and beat him with it in the corner. Fat green luchador and Savio Vega were eliminated at this time. Val punked out Rock Riddle as he eliminated him. Funk got the best of Orton, who was still surprised that Piper turned on him, and tossed out Orton. Stomping all the way off the apron. Funk is in this to win it.
It must be noted that no one knows what happened to Tatanka. Mando and Venis were eliminated. Douglas bloodied Funk in a brawl of punches.
Helms, Vampiro, Douglas, Funk, Piper, and Chavo were the final men. Piper eliminated Helms. All remaining four chased Chavo up a turnbuckle. Chavo directed everyone to keep fighting and wanted to watch from the top turn buckle. It was a dangerous place to be in a battle royal. Piper did the honor and comically dumped Chavo to the floor.
Great series from the final four, as Piper and Funk paired up to face the allies of Vampiro and Douglas. Piper and Funk were on the ground. Suddenly, Tatanka appeared from hiding under the ring and Pearl Harbored Douglas and Vampiro with tomahawk chops. He cleared house with great clotheslines as the crowd booed. They don't like a cheater. Tatanka looked poised to win and charged with a Luger clothesline toward Vampiro, who was on the ropes. However, Douglas dove and tackled Vampiro out of the line of fire, sending Tatanka over the top rope to cheers from fans.
Piper and Funk got wise and eliminated both Douglas and Vampiro together following a short melee between all four.
Piper looked ready to win as he staired crazy eyed at Funk, who backed off and asked for the mic. He told Piper he had something important to say. Piper couldn't hold back. Funk thanked everyone and then shocked the world by asking everyone including Piper to join him in prayer. He asked Piper to bow his head in a southern preacher fashion. Piper resisted this, but ultimately gave in as Funk pleaded and pointed to heaven.
Funk said some words about fallen legends and then asked the lord that he win this royal battle. Funk shouts amen and suckered Piper in the head with the mic. "Ahmen Piper" Funk shouted before hitting Piper with a mic shot again. Funk attacked and beat Piper with the mic, causing Piper to stumble through the middle rope and out side. Funk followed screaming and demanded that Pipe, "Tell them I'm the better man!" Middle aged and crazy Funk turned this into an "I quit" match. Funk kabongs Piper with the mic every time he replied no. Funk was irate now and had thrown Piper over the guardrail. Funk followed and told the crowd on the mic "so you all wanted ECW?"
Funk had Piper back in the ring and Piper was dazed. The crowd was shocked. Funk was Barbarian redneck like. We all couldn't believe Funk looked this good. Funk went for the final blow to eliminate Piper, who barely touched the floors but saved himself. Funk was bleeding badly and had a great evil grin that was timeless.
Piper entered the ring and was pissed. He rushed Funk, beat him down with punches and got a solid elimination for the victory. Bagpipes played but funk threw not three but four chairs in the ring, cursing piper and throwing a tantrum. Funk was in the ring and both him and Piper had chairs as they are separated by refs. Things cooled down as Mean Gene announced the winner. Piper successfully backed off Funk and left to cheers. Funk was still circling the ring outside, cursing and was angry as hell. The crowd paid tribute to Funk, but that doesn't even help Funk's mood as he finally went backstage still rampaging!
This was a great battle royal. The legends stole the show here. No one who paid for a ticket expected this and everyone got more than they paid for tonight.
- Piper was most over and had the loudest pop. Piper was in his best shape and looked like he did when he was WWF commish at WrestleMania 10. Awesome performance.
- Barry Orton looked down right scary and was dressed like a flock member. At one point, his flannel shorts revealed his ugly ass. He wins for most washed up.
- No one could believe the action from Funk. He really killed tonight. Great event!
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