Hulkamania Tour
Sydney, Australia at ACER Arena
Report by Dot Net member Peter Young

As the crowds converged on the arena, the temperature outside was still a very warm 38 degrees C (100 degrees F). Sales at the merchandise stand appeared to be brisk but nothing like a WWE event. The car park was not particularly full tonight so I was pretty sure that the show was not even close to a sell-out. All the merchandise on sale was for Hulk. His latest book was AU$40, t-shirts AU$45-50, bandana and a key-ring AU$20. Tonight’s show is being recorded for broadcast on ONE HD, a new Australian sports channel.

Plenty of kids attending tonight but the crowd is generally older than a typical WWE house show crowd. The set is a fairly standard big screen, stage and ramp. It is more elaborate than the WWE usually bring to Sydney. The top circle of the arena is curtained off so I would estimate that there are 15000 people here tonight.

Jimmy Hart walked out at 7:30 pm to call the first match with Todd Keneley. Between matches, we get to see and hear the announcers present to the camera.

1. Pimp Fatha beat Sean Morley. The artist formally known as The Godfather brings out four of the least enthusiastic hos and I’m pretty sure they were all underage. Morley played the heel but after a fairly lacklustre match and subsequent loss, waves to the crowd and replaces Jimmy Hart at the desk for commentary.

2. Rock of Love and The Nasty Boys fought to a double count-out within seconds of the match starting.

3. Heidenreich beats Nick Dinsmore. Eugene gets all his comedy spots in but is squashed by the very ordinary Heidenreich. After the loss, Dinsmore also waves to the crowd and replaces Morley on commentary. Perhaps this is the punishment for losing.

4. The Nasty Boys defeated Rock of Love in a Street Fight. Lots of protected chair shots in this match. Cookie trays, empty water cooler bottles, a mop and a large piece of particle board (in lieu of a table) were featured. A crappy garbage match. Rock of Love’s gimmick appears to be 80’s big hair rockers.

Footage of the press conference brawl then screened.

5. Black Pearl & Vampire Warrior defeated Junior Fatu & Brian Christopher. Christopher looked very bloated tonight. Gangrel did his usual blood drinking and spitting entrance. There were two big missed spots at the end of the match, both Christopher’s fault. After losing, Rikishi gave Black Pearl a stink face and then danced with Sexay. This act is so old.

During interval, the crowd was more entertained by two audience members dressed as Ultimate Warrior and The Undertaker. Perhaps even more entertained than by the first half.

6. Koa Marie Turner won a bikini contest over Kiara Dillon and Stephanie Pietz. Prior to the contest, the girls were shown on the big screen applying makeup to each other’s cleavage. The contest was a waste of time. A catfight ensued after the announcement of the winner followed by the obligatory ref roll around with the girls on the mat and then overacting to the crowd because he touched a girl.

7. Brutus Beefcake defeated Orlando Jordan. Eugene returned for more commentary. I’m pretty sure Orlando’s entrance song features the lyric, “Women love me and guys want to BE with me.” Prior to his entrance, Brutus appears on the screen with Jimmy for a promo. Jimmy says, “Ancient spirits will always overcome youth and enthusiasm.” What he meant with was that all of Hulk’s friends get over. After a sloppy match, the highlight being Jordan’s impression of Beefcake, Brutus cuts an inch off Orlando’s hair extensions. Does Brutus know that his scissors are actually hedge clippers?

8. Matt Cross beat Shannon Moore in a Ladder Match for AU$25000. Cross’ Spartan 3000 gimmick makes no sense. Wasn’t the movie called 300, and didn’t they all die? A pretty good ladder match with an awesome moonsault onto a ladder by Cross. Why was only one of the three ladders available tall enough to reach the strangely dented briefcase? And more importantly, why did the wrestlers bring the two shorter ladders to the ring first?

9. Uso Fatu (Umaga) defeated Mr Ken Anderson. Anderson does the microphone gimmick, except there was no mic in the roof so the announcer pretends to lower his handmike into Ken’s hand. Pretty funny stuff. Anderson gets two pins when the ref in down so has the moral victory. Fatu puts all three of his finishers together to win in the best match of the night. Eugene leaves the commentary desk to be replaced by Eric Bischoff.

10. Hulk Hogan defeated Ric Flair (w/Lacey Von Erich). In the video promo prior to the match, Ric is billed as "Rick." During the ring intro though, he is back to being Ric without a K. Ric’s music is a terrible sound-alike of his WWE theme. The chords have been changed and it sounds off-key. Both men get huge pops when they enter the arena. Hogan in particular is not walking smoothly. He certainly moves like a man with a few joint replacements. Both men blade and bleed fairly early in the match. Lots of Flair chops and signature spots are performed to great responses. Orlando Jordan, Umaga, The Nasty Boys and Heidenreich all run in and get involved. Hogan gives the interfering Von Erich an atomic bomb. The match ends with Hulk smashing Flair with Jimmy Hart’s megaphone. The majority of the crowd stays for Hogan’s post-match flexing.

Overall, a fun night for nostalgia but not quality wrestling. Unlike a WWE event, the merchandise stands were very quiet after the show. There may be some discounted Hogan merchandise available soon, or it may end up for sale at TNA events. TNA hits Australian shores for a live tour in February 2010, so there is a tiny, tiny chance that Hogan may be back again real soon.

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