2/16 Beyond Wrestling Feeding Frenzy: Zim's in-person report of the first-ever Human Wrestling Ring Match, Kevin Steen vs. Drew Gulak, Elgin and Ciampa vs. Dickinson and Jaka, Chuck Taylor vs. Kimber Lee, Jimmy Jacobs debuts, and too much more
Beyond Wrestling Feeding Frenzy
Providence, RI at Fete Music
Report by Dot Net staffer Zack Zimmerman
Around 3:00-3:30 in the afternoon when the doors were scheduled to open, owner Drew Cordeiro came outside and addressed the fans in line. He explained that "In true independent wrestling fashion," the ring had broken. He said he would get everyone in the building, however they were waiting on another ring to arrive. In a testament to the dedication of the fans and the quality of the Beyond Product, very few – if any – fans left. In fact, once in the venue, most of the regulars assumed their usual positions as if the ring were there.
About twenty-minutes into the delay, Sugar Dunkerton came out and asked for four tall fans, and a large number of shorter fans; Four "ringposts" and linked-arm "ring ropes" later, the (presumably) first-ever human wrestling ring match was underway.
1/2. Sugar Dunkerton beat Eric Korvis in a human wrestling ring match. They worked some technical holds and reversals before things picked up into (slow-mo) hiptosses and takedowns. There were even some dives off the turnbuckle. The finish came when Sugar caught Korvis with a clothesline coming off the ropes. This was a lot of fun and earned a "match of the year" chant from the fans.
The ring arrived shortly thereafter and after some construction time, the show was underway around 5:30 or 6. The crowd hung in there like troopers and was larger than it has been at the past couple of shows; on-par with their debut show at Fete, Americanrana. In the range of 250-350.
1. Buxx Belmar beat Matt Cage, Davey Vega, and Danny Cannon in a four-way. The term "indie-riffic" has a negative connotation, so I'll coin the term "indie-tastic" to describe this match. Everyone worked hard, but Danny Cannon came in as a virtual unknown and left as the most over guy in the match. At one point, Cannon scaled to the top of the center-beam that keeps Fete standing and performed a moonsault onto all three opponents from about 20 feet in the air. Unreal. This was a really exciting opener that picked the crowd up after the long delay.
2. Kimber Lee submitted Chuck Taylor. Taylor was unadvertised but answered Kimber Lee's open challenge. There were some shamefully funny inter-gender exchanges like Taylor kicking her in the gut and calling it "the abortion kick." The finish came when Kimber Lee forced the submission with a cross-armbar, which felt like it came out of nowhere because she hadn't worked Taylor's arm at any point in the match.
3. Fear and Loathing in New England (Aaron Epic and Dave Cole) won the Feeding Frenzy match. This was a 16-man/8-team tag match contested under lucha rules and when one participant was eliminated, his tag team partner was eliminated as well. The other participants were Devastation Corporation, Tabernak De Team, Crusade for Change, Whaling City Wrecking Crew, EYFBO, M1nute Men, and Da Hoodz. This match dragged at points but it was fine. After the match, Sugar Dunkerton and Pinkie Sanchez entered the ring and Dunkerton proposed expanding KOA to include Sanchez and Cole as well. Epic told Dunkerton no and essentially dissolved KOA into two teams: Fear and Loathing & Dunkerton and Sanchez.
4. Shynron defeated AR Fox to win the Chile Lucha Libre Championship. Now this match was indie-riffic. Shynron hit a Double-Underhook Destroyer, but Fox kicked out. Shynron hit a 630 splash, but Fox kicked out. Fox hit Lo Mein Pain, but Shynron kicked out. The finish came when Shynron pinned Fox with a small package. Yes, really. Ugh.
5. Myke Quest (w/ Nicholas Kaye) beat Anthony Stone. Quest resembles a chubby Dean Ambrose, so the crowd chanted "Paula Deen Ambrose" at him; Hilarious. This match was a continuation of the feud between Stone and Kaye, where the winner of this match got to choose the stipulation for their blow-off match. Stone handcuffed Kaye to the turnbuckle at the beginning of the match, but Kaye broke free and cost Stone the match. At next month's show, there will be a no-rules tag team match pitting Nicholas Kaye and Myke Quest against Anthony Stone and CZW's Matt Tremont.
6. Juicy Product (JT Dunn and David Starr) beat The Hooligans (Devin and Mason Cutter). The Hooligans have such a unique look and style about them. Juicy Product are starting to pick up some steam around the scene. This match wasn’t quite as great as I would've hoped, but it wasn't bad. JT Dunn took a nasty back-first crash into the stage that had him down for a while and they went to the finish shortly thereafter, with Dunn catching one of the Cutter's with a KO Elbow out of mid-air. One Cutter brother came out of the match bleeding from the ear.
Intermission. Beyond will be returning to Fete on March 23.
7. Michael Elgin and Tommaso Ciampa apparently beat Chris Dickinson and Jaka by DQ. Elgin took a bad neck bump at the studio taping the day before and reportedly lost some feeling in his left side. His involvement was pretty minimal in this match but he did get a couple of his popular spots in. Ciampa looks like he's lost about 20lbs of muscle from his arms and face; not sure what the deal is there. Overall though, this was a good match. It started out slow, built nicely, and really picked up steam down the stretch. The finish came when a masked hooded man ran into the ring and attacked Elgin and Ciampa. He unmasked to reveal himself as Jimmy Jacobs (which got a big pop, despite debuting as a heel) and appeared to align himself with Dickinson and Jaka.
Eric Corvis was on commentary and took exception to the things that Jacobs had to say. The roles were intended for Corvis to come out and be the babyface, but half of the crowd was into Jacobs more than Corvis. They ended up going at it and Corvis got nailed with the spike. In a horribly blatant and intelligence-insulting display, a second referee at ringside handed Corvis a blade and he proceeded to spend no less that 20 seconds trying to cut himself. People in the crowd were yelling "blade job" and "get the razor out of your forehead." It was appalling and took away from what otherwise would've been an OK angle.
8. The Beaver Boys (John Silver and Alex Reynolds) beat Team TREMENDOUS (Det. Dan Barry and Det. Bill Carr) to retain the CZW Tag Team Championships. This match was a lot of fun, as all TREMENDOUS matches I've seen have been; just a really entertaining dynamic between these two teams. The Beaver Boys won with an elevated double-SOS type move.
9. SeXXXy Eddy vs. Johnny Cockstrong ended in a no-contest. This was promoted as the "Battle of the Bulges" and lived up to the hype. The match opened with chants for "cocks," "dicks," "wieners," and "boners," and only got weirder from there. The funniest spots were Eddy trying for an inverted atomic drop on Cockstrong, but selling his knee, and Cockstrong going for a low-blow, but hurting his arm. Get it? The match was still in progress when The Wingmen interrupted and complained about a dick match being on the show and not them. Tag match yada yada…
10. Johnny Cockstrong and SeXXXy Eddy pinned The Wingmen (Gregory Edwards and Mark Shurman). Lots of testicular claws throughout this match, which paid off when Eddy "Cocked Up" (think Hulked Up) and made a comeback. NSFW: The finish came when Eddy jerked Cockstrong off, at which point Cockstrong threw his secretion at both Wingmen and performed a double-chokeslam with the "sticky web," if you will. Cockstrong and Eddy performed simultaneous splashes off the top rope for the win. These matches were wildly inappropriate and vulgar, but I can't say they weren't entertaining. In the right time and place, things like this can work, and this worked.
JT Dunn announced that at the next show on March 23, he would be going one-on-one with Chris Hero.
11. Drew Gulak defeated Kevin Steen. By this point, the crowd had been on their feet at Fete for roughly six hours (between the delay and the four-plus hour show) and were starting to die. These two worked a fine, simple match that probably didn’t last as long as it would've had the circumstances of the show been different. Gulak got the submission win with an ankle lock. Post-match, Chris Dickinson and Jaka ran out and attacked both men until Tommaso Ciampa made the save. Somehow, Ciampa and Gulak ended up getting into it and it was announced that on March 23, the two would compete against each-other in a submission match. They brawled, Kevin Steen tried to break it up, they brawled some more, Kevin Steen left, they brawled some more, and I left; they may or may not still be brawling.
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