6/20 Barnett's WWE Capitol Punishment Report Card: Featuring John Cena, Randy Orton, CM Punk, Christian and Rey Mysterio - With Special Guest My Wife!

Posted in: Barnett Editorials, MUST-READ LISTING
Jun 20, 2011 - 04:00 PM

By Jake Barnett

A conversation with a casual fan (My Wife) about WWE Capitol Punishment - Plus a Report Card!

After I watched the PPV last night, I had a discussion with my wife about what she thought of the show. I took notes from our discussion on the major matches, and this is what came out of it.

John Cena vs. R-Truth for the WWE Championship:

  • My Wife really likes John Cena because she thinks he's cute. I like John Cena the person, but not John Cena the character. She thinks some of his mannerisms throughout the match are silly, and can only be meant to appeal to children, which we both agree on.

  • We both agree that R-Truth is much better in his current character than he was as the goof he played before. My wife said his old character always struck her as a thinly veiled racial stereotype. I can't say she's wrong there. She likes legitimately crazy characters in movies and TV Shows, and especially Pro Wrestling, because she thinks unpredictability was the best part of watching Pro Wrestling when we first met. Again, we didn't disagree. I really like R-Truth now, which is something I thought I might never say.

  • As far as the match went, we both really didn't care for it. I made mention of the lack of crowd noise due to the bonus match and the bad Obama skit. Her take was that she thought the match didn't feel like a big deal and that she never thought John Cena was in any danger. I guess we are both kind of right. The whole thing just felt like an afterthought, which is a shame because the build to this match was pretty solid.

My Grade: D+
Her Grade: C-

Randy Orton vs. Christian for the World Heavyweight Championship:

  • I have really enjoyed Randy Orton's character since his move to Smackdown. I think he has been far and away the most engaging and serious he has been as a babyface in his entire career, and that his feud with Christian is the best thing WWE has going right now. My wife thinks he's hot, and that helps, but she really thinks his character is a "Poor Man's Stone Cold". Yikes.

  • I have always been a Christian fan, and even more so when he has played a heel. My wife liked him better as a babyface, but since she thinks Randy Orton and his viper ring antics are stupid she's rooting for Christian anyways.

  • We both really liked this match. My wife literally jumped a few times when Christian got some near falls, and she was legitimately miffed when the ref missed the leg under the ropes. I can always tell when WWE gets it right, because my wife quickly gets emotionally invested and acts like I did when I was 8 years old watching Hogan matches. This was a great match, with good intensity from both guys and a finish that was ok, but ended up getting completely botched by the announce team. My wife asked me several times if Booker T was playing a character in the booth, and I really have no answer for that. He doesn't even speak in complete sentences. Other than that, this was a great title match that had a finish that allows the feud to continue

My Grade: B+
Her Grade: A

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio in a Grudge Match

  • CM Punk is probably my favorite character in the WWE right now. His ring work is second to no one, his psychology is always fun to watch, and his promos are some next level stuff. My wife absolutely HATES him, which I guess is the point, but sometimes I think she forgets it's a character. Whatever he's doing, it works on her. She wants to see him beaten up every time he's on TV.

  • I'm not the biggest Mysterio fan in the world. I used to be, but I think his schtick is just so played out with me that I'm numb to it these days. In the right situations against the right people he's awesome, but overall I think Rey needs a break from TV because an absence would really freshen up his act. My wife absolutely loves him, and thinks he's a superhero. It might have something to do with the fact that she's 5'2". Short people have a bond I will never understand.

  • We both enjoyed the hell out of this match. My wife thinks Rey Mysterio should be WWE Champion from now until whenever he retires, so every time she sees him in action she enjoys it, but this match was special and it was 15 minutes of the best WWE has to offer us. CM Punk is a master of psychology and Mysterio plays an underdog so well that these two have a natural chemistry that makes their matches a ton of fun to watch. Normally I have a pretty good idea of who is going to win when I watch these matches, but this one I had no clue and was very pleased with the clean finish. My wife was sad to see Mysterio lose, but she really enjoyed the action and I think was able to convince herself he would get his revenge.

My Grade: A-
Her Grade: B+

The rest of the show:

  • My wife really enjoyed the bonus match, despite the bad timing. I thought it was silly to place it there, but both guys really worked their ass off and delivered a good match. My wife likes Evan Bourne for the same reason she likes Mysterio. She cheers small people in big man sports. This could have been a great opener, but alas WWE plans its PPV's like television shows now, so this is what we get. I felt bad for both guys.

  • We saw two title changes, and neither of us cared about either one. Both matches were mediocre, and we had no emotional attachment to either of them. I really like Wade Barrett, and my wife loves Kofi. I'm hoping they both see a move out of the mid card after these matches.

  • The Obama impersonator sucked. Nothing else to say there.

  • The Miz/Riley match was ok, but I didn't really care for the finish and neither did my wife. She thinks Alex Riley looks like a frat boy asshole she knew in College, so he's dead to her. She really likes the Miz, and said she's going to teach his awesome catchphrase to our daughter. Count her on the train of people calling for a Miz babyface run. This feud can't be over soon enough, as I don't think the crowd really cares at this point, us included.

  • My Wife and I are both big Del Rio fans, and not so much Big Show fans, so we were both dreading the match on this card due to the comical build. Big Show gave us some reasons be more optimistic than usual last week, but they ended up not putting over Del Rio in any meaningful way and gave Big Show about 40 excuses to lose the match. As Del Rio fans, we were displeased, because it made so sense to go through the trouble of having Mark Henry destroy Big Show only to have a fluky finish.

My Overall Show Grade: C+
Her Overall Show Grade: B-

Questions, comments, or concerns? Please contact me at or @barnettjake.

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