Smackdown on MyNetwork TV
Taped on 1/19/10 in Greenville, S.C.

[Q1]A video package hyped Rey Mysterio as the number one contender and his plan to call out Taker…The opening video aired, followed by the pyro, and Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcomed us to Smackdown. They hyped the Morrison vs. Jericho and McIntyre handicap match…Batista’s music hit and he made his ring entrance. Finlay was out next…

1. Finlay defeated Batista by disqualification at 1:21. Batista pushed Finlay out of the lock up and posed. Finlay punched him and went to work. He hit a drop kick from the second rope for a quick two. He followed with rolling thunder for two and knocked Dave from the ring. He went to the floor and Batista attacked Finlay. He dug his fingers into Finlay’s eyes and the ref called for the bell when he wouldn’t stop.

Batista tossed Finlay over the announce table, landing him in Striker’s lap. He hit a spear and then drove Finlay into everything at ringside: the post, the stairs, the railing, everything. He rolled Finlay back in the ring and hit a spinebuster. He got a mic and said to imagine that times 29. He said that was how it would be at the Rumble. He stomped Finlay as he called out HBK, Triple H, and Cena. He said he would win his right to face Undertaker at Mania, and his title reign would start and Taker’s win streak would end. He threw the mic down and left…The announce team hyped Mysterio calling out Taker…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Meh. I understand what was going on here, but I’m not sure Batista really needed to be built back up. He got beat by Rey, who has beat just about everybody before in some manner, so he really didn’t lose anything. I would have rather seen the five minute beatdown as match time, but it was fine for what it was supposed to do. BTW, I’m doing tonight’s report on my new Windows 7 laptop. The side by side windows work really well.

[Q2]Back from commercial, the WWE/AmeriCares graphic displayed for Haiti. To help, you can text LIVE to 25383 to donate $10…

A video package hyped Rey Mysterio…CM Punk and Luke Gallows made their entrance to the ramp. A video recapped their win to become number one contenders for the tag titles last week. He said they would bring honor and respect back to the tag titles after they beat DX next week. You heard it here first. He said they would do that because they were straight edge, which would also lead to his winning of the Royal Rumble.

He called everyone in the WWE Universe losers and cowards who hid behind their drugs, booze, and cigs. He continued his weekly version of the same promo as they made their way down the ramp, and the crowd chanted, “You suck.” He asked who wanted to be saved. A girl ran out and grabbed Punk. Gallows pulled her off and security dragged her up the ramp. She screamed, “I need you,” at Punk, and he told security to let her go. Gallows put her in the ring and she said she needed Punk.

Punk said he knew and asked her name. She said it was Serena. He asked if she was an addict and she said yeas and wanted to change. She played the addict and he played the savior. He went on way to long about his straight-edge society and then asked her if she was ready. She said she was, and sat down. Punk pulled out the clippers and Striker said we didn’t want to miss this…[C]

[Q3]Back from commercial, Punk shaved her head and she was almost orgasmic. Striker said he found the commitment attractive. I hope so, because it’s not the “Brittany Spears with Mange” look this girl has now. Punk introduced her as the newest member of his straight edge society. His music played while he hugged her. A replay video was shown while Striker heeled it up big time…[C]

Shore’s Slant: I can’t find her name, but this girl is from WWE developmental. She better get a good look after having her head shaved. These segments are fine, except they are way too long. This took an entire quarter of the show. Why? He’s not even near the world title hunt. Don’t get me wrong, I like Punk and think he should still be world champ. But he’s not, and this was a lot of time for someone who isn’t in that current debate. We need a payoff for this, and soon.

Back from commercial, the Smack of the Night video was McIntyre winning the title at TLC…Back ringside, McIntyre made his entrance. The announce team hyped a No DQ match for the Intercontinental Title next week. Jericho made his ring entrance. A graphic showed Jericho’s Men’s Fitness magazine cover. Morrison was out next. Teddy Long’s music hit and he came to the ramp. He said while Vickie might be his official consultant, she didn’t consult with him before making this match. He said he was turning this into a tag match. He said Morrison’s partner would be….R-Truth made his lame ass entrance…[C]

Shore’s Slant: My friend who likes wrestling some told me his cousin (girl) had gone to the house show that was here around Christmas. He asked her who her favorite wrestlers were. Guess who. John Cena and R-Truth. I told her if he killed her I would testify as an expert witness that this was a mercy killing.

2. John Morrison and R-Truth defeated Drew McIntyre and Chris Jericho at 17:42. Morrison and Jericho started. Jericho slapped on an immediate headlock and won the shoulder block challenge. Morrison followed with a couple of arm drags and tagged in Truth. They hit a double arm drag, double kip up, and double punch on McIntyre. McIntyre fell to the floor, and the faces tossed Jericho onto McIntyre. Truth rolled Jericho back in the ring and Morrison tagged in. Jericho took out Truth and McIntyre took out Morrison as the ref checked on Truth.

McIntyre tagged in and worked his offense on Morrison. Jericho ran down to the announce table and pointed out how McIntyre was beating Morrison. He told them to tell us McIntyre was a champion. McIntyre worked Morrison in the corner and then yelled at him. Morrison got in some punches, but Drew hit a running knee and tagged in Jericho. Jericho worked the arm with a rest hold. Morrison escaped and hit his backbreaker into side Russian leg sweep combo. Jericho made the tag. McIntyre ran over Morrison and took out Truth. He dragged Morrison back to the center of the ring as the show went to commercial…[C]

Back at 10:41, McIntyre worked Morrison’s arm. Morrison arm bragged out, but McIntyre hit a tilt a whirl backbreaker for two. Jericho tagged in and taunted Truth. He hit a suplex and whipped his hands to annoy the crowd. He choked Morrison on the rope and McIntyre got in a cheap kick. Jericho taunted Truth again, and kicked Morrison when the ref dealt with Truth. He placed Morrison on the top and went for a superplex. Morrison fought out and knocked Jericho to the mat.

[Q5]Morrison hit a cross body for two and tried for a tag. Jericho grabbed the leg and tried for Walls of Jericho. Morrison kicked out and tried for a tag, but Jericho made it first and McIntyre prevented the tag. McIntyre hit a snap suplex for two and tagged Jericho back in. Jericho stomped on Morrison and tagged McIntyre back in. McIntyre went for a move, and Morrison reversed into a DDT. Both men made tags at 16:30

Truth hit all his dancing offensive moves. He hit a big boot and covered. McIntyre broke it up. Morrison tossed him to the floor, and Jericho tossed Morrison. Jericho hit a kick and covered. But Morrison had rolled McIntyre to the ring. The ref told Drew to get out of the ring as Morrison climbed on the apron. Jericho went towards him and Morrison hit the Chuck Kick. Truth followed with the scissor kick for the win. Post match, Striker complained about the faces cheating as the heels left the ringside area…The Rey Mysterio hyped video from earlier played, and the announce team hyped his calling out Taker for later…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Wow, they were given a crap load of time. The problem was, the match felt forced together, so it fell flat. Everyone was technically sound in the ring, but there was no real story to tell, so it looked like random spots strung together. I don’t even know who comes out the best in this match. I don’t know, it just didn’t feel right.

Back from commercial, LayCool was in the ring with mics. McCool said she was supposed to face Mickie at the Royal Rumble. She said that wasn’t going to happen, and Layla looked sad. McCool said she had good news, Mickie was leaving Smackdown forever and they were throwing her a good by party with lots of food. They pointed out all the food while Striker laughed like Cole. Maria’s music hit and she came to the ring She said LayCool was so annoying, and all they were good at was attacking Mickie.

She said the only people who needed to leave Smackdown were LayCool. She said she didn’t care if they walked out hand in hand or if they were carried out. LayCool punked her for being so thin and for being on Celebrity Apprentice. Mickie’s music hit and she came to the ring. She said she was done with the mean girls act, because they were the ones who were compensating. Mickie said to look at her, she was what a real woman looked like. She all the women in the audience were real women.

[Q6]She said they should wake up and learn that she isn’t going to let their little act chase her off. She said the only people who would tell her to leave were the WWE Universe, and they liked her there. The crowd popped. LayCool tried to punk her again, and Mickie told McCool she sucked on Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader. She said she would embarrass McCool at the Royal Rumble. Mickie attacked Layla and then McCool. Maria worked on Layla.

Beth Phoenix ran to the ring. McCool was beating up Mickie in one corner, and Maria was beating up Layla in the other. Beth looked around, wiped her face, and attacked Maria and then Mickie. She held Mickie down while McCool stuffed a cake in Mickie’s face, and then poured the punch bowl on her head. Mickie cried in the ring as the heels left…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Speaking of things that went on for too long. This angle has to end at the Rumble. At this point, I couldn’t care less who wins, as long as this fat girl angle dies too. I’m glad they kept Beth heel here, but her involvement almost seemed like a second hand thought. She beat everybody up and then just left. She didn’t stay to further embarrass Mickie. So why did she pick them if she didn’t want to hang with them? Odd.

Back from commercial, Cryme Tyme made their entrance. Knox and Haas were already in the ring. Ouch…

3. Cryme Tyme fought Mike Knox and Charlie Haas to an apparent no contest. Knox and JTG started. At 0:31, Kane’s pyro popped and he came to the ring and cleared everybody over the top rope. He popped his pyro again and the announce team hyped the Royal Rumble…A video package recapped Rey’s win in the cage last week…The announce team hyped Rey calling out Taker again…

Shore’s Slant: Knox and Haas were already in the ring? And then Kane squashed everyone 30 seconds in? Mike Knox deserves better than that. Hell, his beard deserves its own entrance.

[C][Q7]Back from commercial, the announce team ran down the Royal Rumble card…Matt Hardy and Khali made their entrance…[C]

Shore’s Slant: That will always remain the strangest sentence I have ever written.

Back from commercial, The Harts made their entrance…

Matt Hardy and The Great Khali (w/Runjin Singh) defeated The Hart Dynasty at 2:20. Hardy and Kidd started out. Kidd drove Hardy back to the corner and tagged in Smith. They spilled Hardy to the floor and Smith followed. He worked Matt with strikes and rolled Matt back in the ring. Matt hit a Side Effect and both men tried to recover. Natalya went over and rubbed her side boob at Khali. She tried to coax Khali backstage. In the ring, Matt whipped Smith into Kidd and hooked an inside cradle for the win. Wait, what? Natalya stormed off and the faces celebrated…The announce team hyped Rey Mysterio calling out Taker next…

Shore’s Slant: Matt Hardy and The Great Khali (w/Runjin Singh) defeated The Hart Dynasty? I stand corrected, that will be the weirdest (and most tragic) sentence I have ever written.

[Q8][C]Back from commercial, Rey Mysterio made his ring entrance. He cut a promo and put himself over. He said he wasn’t afraid or intimidated by Taker. He called him out, and Taker made his long ass ring introduction.

Shore’s Slant: Rey is the number on contender because of this entrance. Batista would be all blowed up by the time Taker made it to the ring.

Taker stared at Rey and asked if he was having second thoughts. Rey said he would be lying if he said he wasn’t. Wuss. Rey said he would hold his ground. He said the last time they faced for the title, Rey had Taker on the ropes. He said this time, there would be no Batista or Shawn Michaels. He said Shawn might win the Rumble, but Taker would not be champion. He said he would beat Taker at the Rumble.

Taker said those were mighty big word for a little man. He said Rey forgot that no one could be victorious over the grave. He said he admired Rey’s gusto, but he was digging his own grave. He said Rey was going to be like all the others who had tried to make a name for themselves by coming at him. He said Rey would Rest in Peace and Taker made a long ass exit.

Rey called out to him as he walked up the ramp. Taker finally stopped on the stage. Rey said he was not like the rest. Batista suddenly attacked from behind. He hit a spinebuster and a Batista bomb. Undertaker slowly made his way down the ramp as this happened. Batista slipped out and escaped through the crowd. Taker stared for a moment, and then his music hit and he turned to leave. He stopped at the top of the ramp, and held his hand up as the pyro popped to end the show…

Shore’s Slant: I did not think WWE could get me to care less about this match. Boy was I wrong. The Batista run in just shows that Rey will not win at the Rumble, and we will probably get Taker/Batista again. Yes, I know what the “projected card” is, but I just don’t see it going any other way. Maybe they will prove me wrong, but this promo time hurt actually the match. I’ll have more tomorrow on the hitlist. Thanks for reading along and I’ll see you then.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com with whatever is on your mind.

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