WWE Raw on the USA Network
Live from Tampa, Fla.

[Q1] The opening video kicked off the show... Pyro went off on the stage. Michael Cole wished viewers Happy Holidays and welcomed viewers to the show. He and Jerry Lawler hyped that DX was going to Little People's Court (as "The People's Court" theme played). They also hyped John Cena vs. Jack Swagger...

Powell's POV: The Cena vs. Swagger match would have meant something if Swagger had been allowed to keep his guaranteed win streak in 2009 alive and then met Cena, who has vowed that he won't lose until he regains the title.

Ring announcer Justin Roberts introduced guest host Johnny Damon, who came to a mix of cheers and boos. He had fun with some fans at ringside who must have been booing him. He said he can take the boos and pointed out that he's a World Champion. He said he doesn't know where he's going to play this year.

As Damon was talking, a tiger sound effect played and someone dressed in a tiger costume hopped the guardrail. A blond woman chased the tiger with a golf club. They rolled inside the ring and eventually headed backstage. "Wow, that's not what I signed up for," Damon said. He hyped the Divas match...

Powell's POV: Well, at least the Tiger Woods spoof was based on something current. That's about the only good thing I can say about it.

1. Melina, Gail Kim, and Kelly Kelly beat Maryse, Jillian Hall, and Alicia Fox in a Santa's Little Helper match in 2:10. Kelly wasn't wearing the Santa colors for some reason. The finish saw Maryse pick up Kelly for a slam, only to have Melina dropkick Kelly onto her for the win...

Cole hyped that Santa Claus would make one superstar's wish come true. Lawler hyped the DX appearance in Little People's Court... [C]

Powell's POV: A tiger spoof, a Santa's Little Helper match, Little People's Court, and Santa Claus granting a wish. Something tells me they didn't pay attention to the negative feedback that the campy Slammy Awards received.

An ad for ECW hyped the continuation of the homecoming with Jack Swagger vs. Yoshi Tatsu...

At ringside, Cole and Lawler set up the Little People's Court footage and noted that it took place earlier today...

[Q2] Shawn Michaels and Triple H spoke by the base of the stage in the arena. They read a note and then headed to ringside per the instructions. They both crawled underneath the ring. The camera followed and the screen went black. They kept talking about how they couldn't see anything. They cracked their glow sticks to light up the area.

They turned on the lights and revealed that they were actually standing backstage. Shawn said it was like another world back there. They found a door with a sign that read "The Little People's Court." They agreed to "get it over with." They entered the room and there were several little people serving as jurors, bailiffs, etc.

Hunter told a couple of size jokes. Shawn said he wouldn't sit down on the small chair because he has bad knees. The bailiff swatted him on the back of the leg. Eventually, the bailiff did the same to Hunter. Hornswoggle finally showed up and went to the stand, where he grunted.

Shawn interpreted that Hornswoggle was suing them for emotional distress. A video aired of DX messing with Hornswoggle as "The People's Court" theme song played. The video was labeled as "Exhibit A." A narrator's voice questioned how the case would play out. The narrator said we'll find out later tonight on Raw...

Powell's POV: Wow, just wow. The variety show crap just keeps getting worse.

2. Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, and Evan Bourne beat Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, and Ted DiBiase in 10:25. The heels had taken control and Orton was standing over Kofi when the show went to break. [C] After the break, Bourne checked in and hit some flashy offense on all three heels. He hit his finisher on Cody, but Ted broke up the pin attempt.

[Q3] "There's a lot of fight in this little guy," Lawler said regarding Bourne as the heels worked him over. Eventually, Bourne tagged Kingston back into the match. Kofi hit a flurry of offense on Orton. DiBiase tagged in, but was caught with Trouble in Paradise and pinned...

Powell's POV: Good TV match with quality action from start to finish. It was encouraging to see Bourne get so much offense during the match. I was surprised to see him in the match rather than Henry's partner MVP.

Backstage, the celebrity whore Bella Twins and Eve were hanging with Damon and Santa. Eve dismissed herself to get some eggnog. Carlito showed up and pointed out they were standing under mistletoe. He closed his eyes and puckered up, but Masters stepped in front of Eve. Carlito opened his eyes and shoved Masters. Santa stepped in. He was actually Sgt. Slaughter. Damon booked the match between Carlito and Masters. Sarge and Damon found themselves standing under the mistletoe. "Don't ask, don't tell," Slaughter said...

Powell's POV: I hope Sarge is living in the area because I'd be embarrassed for WWE if they flew him in just to deliver the "Don't ask, don't tell" line.

Little People's Court continued. Hunter said he thought it was all "a little misunderstanding." He kept delivering size one-liners. Shawn accidentally did the same. Exhibit B was the video footage of Hunter hitting the Pedigree on Hornswoggle. Back in the courtroom, the judge banged the gavel.

Shawn stood up and threw a fit over an apparent guilty verdict. He said they all just wanted Hornswoggle in DX and it's wasn't going to happen. They all threw debris at DX until they ran out of the room. Hunter and Shawn fought to keep the little people inside the room. They eventually slammed the door shut and ran away. They emerged from under the ring. Shawn was pulled under the ring, but Hunter saved him...

Powell's POV: I'd gladly go back and suffer through my Minnesota Vikings getting their asses kicked by the Carolina Panthers if it meant that I didn't have to watch this campy crap. Fortunately, the Vikings face the Bears next Monday night. Do I even need to say whether I'll be watching Raw or Monday Night Football live?

A Smackdown ad teased Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio, and DX vs. Hart Dynasty for Friday's show...

Powell's POV: There's nothing like hearing the narrator say "The Dead Man" while Christmas music plays in the background.

[Q4] [C] 3. John Cena beat Jack Swagger via submission in 12:25. The announcers recapped Cena claiming that he won't lose again until he regains the WWE Championship. Cole said that Cena losing to Sheamus gave all the young wrestlers in the locker room hope. He tried to say that guys like Swagger are now in the title hunt. Swagger scored some early offense, but Cena backdropped him to ringside just before the break. [C]

After the break, Cole said the dynamic of the match had changed dramatically during the commercial break, as Swagger had taken control. Cena briefly took control, but Swagger cut him off. Good call.

[Q5] At the top of the hour, Cole reminded viewers that they were watching the longest running episodic television show in history. Swagger continued to control of the offense and hit a Vader Bomb on Cena for a good near fall. At 10:00, Cena made his usual comeback and hit his signature sots, which drew a huge reaction from the live crowd.

Cena went for the Attitude Adjustment, which Swagger countered in a surprising moment. He also went for a top rope leg drop and missed. Swagger tried to follow up with another Vader Bomb, but Cena moved and applied the STF for the submission win...

Powell's POV: Cole actually added a lot to this match by making it seem like Cena was in trouble. Yes, he delivered some of his usual cliches, but he actually added some genuine emotion to the match. The match was a pleasant surprise in that they gave Swagger so much offense. Again, though, it would have meant a lot more if they hadn't blown off Swagger's vow to win the remainder of his matches in 2009.

Backstage, Damon spoke with Dusty Rhodes, who was dressed in the Santa outfit. Damon said he didn't know where he was going to be next year, but it will be fine. Dusty thanked him for bringing the 27th World Championship to the Yankees. MVP entered the room and said he has an American Dream of his own. He said he wants 2010 to be the year of MVP. He said he wanted the chance to earn a title shot by facing Sheamus later in the show. MVP had to act surprised that Dusty was wearing the Santa outfit. Damon booked Sheamus vs. MVP... [C]

Powell's POV: Well, I guess that explains why MVP wasn't in the six-man tag match. The live crowd didn't seem to be entertained by Dusty's antics.

Highlights aired from last week's Raw of Chris Masters saving Matt Hardy from Carlito...

[Q6] 4. Chris Masters (w/Eve) beat Carlito in 1:40. Cole plugged the Johnny Damon Foundation and clearly read the description from a card before telling us it's a wonderful cause. Masters won with the Master Lock. After the match, Eve pulled out mistletoe and placed it over his head. She kissed Masters and he bounced his own tits in response.

Powell's POV: They clearly don't know what the hell to do with Eve since they keep finding new gimmicks for her. I guess they're putting her with Masters in hopes that no one will realize how homoerotic it is for men to watch him bounce his tits.

A video aired on the WWE Tribute to the Troops show... Back live, the fans cheered and chanted "USA." The announcers hyped Sheamus vs. MVP for later in the show...

Powell's POV: I hope they do something to get people excited about Sheamus again. He was lost in the shuffle of that mess they called the Slammy Awards last week, and they need to do something to get people buzzing over his title reign again.

Backstage, the celebrity whore Bella Twins were hanging all over the person in the Tiger costume. Yes, this really happened. The Miz bitched to Santa about a gift he didn't receive when he was a kid. Santa was played by IRS, who delivered a bunch of typical IRS lines. Tiger's wife entered the room and chased him with the golf club. Damon told IRS he pays his taxes. IRS said the baseball players are the biggest cheats of them all. Mae Young showed up and molested Damon with a kiss...

Powell's POV: I'm a sucker for Mae Young comedy and the IRS line about baseball players being cheaters was well done, but the Tiger suit stuff is just corny.

Sheamus made his entrance... [C]

[Q7] Timbaland was advertised as the guest host of next week's show... In the ring, Sheamus was smiling like a tool for what felt like an eternity until MVP finally made his entrance...

5. Sheamus pinned MVP in a non-title match in 2:25. MVP's offense was cut off by a big boot from Sheamus, who followed up with the crucifix slam for the win.

After the match, John Cena ran out and entered the ring with a mic in his hand. Cena glared at Sheamus while the live crowd cheered. "You guys know he owes me a rematch, right?" Cena asked. Cena took his shift off and said: "I'm here to collect. I want my rematch right now." Sheamus backed out of the ring. He teased returning, but headed back up the ramp... [C]

Powell's POV: The crowd didn't react much during the actual match, but they were hot for Cena challenging Sheamus. A good segment designed to make viewers anxious to see the rematch. If the live crowd's reaction is any indication, the rematch will do good business for WWE.

Backstage, the makeup lady was cleaning up Damon when Vince McMahon entered the room. Vince pointed out that Cena had challenged Sheamus, and asked what Damon wanted to do about it. Damon announced Sheamus vs. Cena for next week's Raw. Damon asked Vince if there's any truth to the rumor that Bret Hart will host Raw. Vince said that's a "bah humbug question" and then walked away. "What a jerk," Damon said...

Powell's POV: Damon ranks right up there with Kyle Busch and Joey whatever the hell his name was for worst guest host actors.

The Miz was in the ring for a match when Santino Claus came out with a bag full of gifts. He sang "Santino Claus is coming to town"...

6. The Miz defeated Santino Claus in 2:15. Miz jumped Santino at the bell and beat him down. After being roughed up for a couple minutes, Santino did the splits to avoid a shot from Miz. He made a brief comeback, but Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the win. After the match, Miz stomped on the bag of gifts that Santino brought to the ring...

At ringside, Cole said it's been a bizarre night. "Really," Lawler responded. This led to a replay of the Little People's Court skit...

Powell's POV: Why the hell would they replay this stupid shit? Is it just me or was one of the jurors the world's tallest little person?

Backstage, stalker Josh Matthews popped out of nowhere to interview Big Show, who said he was headed to the ring to call out the real Santa Claus. He said he was going to knockout Santa if he didn't grant his wish... [C]

Powell's POV: When did Santa become an f'n genie?

The announcers hyped Sheamus vs. Cena for next week.. The Marine 2 trailer aired...

>Powell's POV: I'm surprised they didn't save the Sheamus vs. Cena match for the Royal Rumble. I'll cry if they put the belt back on Cena this quickly.

Big Show came to the ring to zero heat from the live crowd that was clearly burned out from laughing their asses off at all the great WWE comedy skits. Or something like that. Big Show came to the ring and said he didn't want to deal with any bogus Santas. He called for the real deal to come to the ring.

The real Santa just happened to be hanging out backstage with the celebrity whore Bella Twins. Santa entered the ring and the Bellas headed backstage to hang all over someone else. Santa said he would normally have Show sit on his lap, but he didn't think it would work because of Show's size.

Show took a knee and let Santa sit down on his other leg. Santa asked Show if he's been a good boy this year. Show said he has. Santa asked what Show's wish was. Show said he wanted Chris Jericho back on Raw. Show said that if that's what Show really wanted, then Jericho would be back on Raw next week. "Thank you very much, Santa, you're the best," Show said.

[Overrun] Hornswoggle's music played and he came to the ring and removed Santa's beard and wig to reveal that it was actually Chris Jericho. Boy, I'll bet the celebrity whore Bella Twins are pissed! A bunch of little people emerged from underneath the ring dressed in DX gear. They all struck fighting poses and eventually charged at Jericho. Show and Jericho threw all but one of the little people out of the ring. The survivor had Jericho by the ankle. Show picked up the little person and side slammed him.

Jericho grabbed Hornswoggle and rolled him back inside the ring. Show and Jericho backed Horny into a corner, where he started stomping his foot in HBK style. He hit Sweet Chin Music on Jericho's shin. The DX music played. Triple H and Shawn Michaels hit the ring and cleared Show.

Hunter and Shawn looked at Hornswoggle. "Shawn, let's squash him," Hunter said. Shawn said it was Christmas and they couldn't squash him. "You know what I want for Christmas, I want to squash him," Hunter said. Something tells me he's said that same line to Steph a few times over the years.

Shawn said Horny is starting to grow on him. Hunter said he doesn't hate Horny as much as he did before. Shawn asked if they could keep him. He promised to "clean out his cage and take him for walks." Hunter said there's a height requirement in DX. Shawn whispered in Hunter's ear.

Hunter said that if Hornswoggle dropped the court thing, they would make him the official DX mascot. Hornswoggle celebrated and what sounded like 20 fans cheered. The crowd picked up a little when they ran through the usual DX lines to close the show...

Powell's POV: Another campy edition of Vince McMahon's variety show. The Cena vs. Swagger match, and the six-man tag was solid, but there wasn't much else to like about this show unless you happen to share Vince's sense of humor. I'll have more to say about this show in the Dot Net Audio recap later tonight or tomorrow morning. Thanks for watching along with me and happy holidays.

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