Smackdown on MyNetwork TV
Taped on 9/22/09 in Tulsa, Okla.

[Q1]A video recapped Teddy Long’s explanation and kidnapping last week…Ringside, CM Punk was introduced and he came to the ring…

Shore’s Slant: My screen is popping back and forth between the show and a green screen too…or is it just me?

Punk cut his same promo about the fans doing drugs and whatnot. He reminded them of his accomplishments due to their addled brains. He said he was the only three-time straightedge champion. He said he was the only person to have ever won back to back MITB matches. He pointed out his dispatching of Jeff Hardy. He also pointed out that he was the first to make Taker tap. He said he did it all without drugs. He demanded someone in authority come out and treat him the way he deserved to be treated. “He said, “That’s right, there’s nobody left.”

The lights went off and Gregorian chants started. The druids came to the ring with a casket. They left the casket at ringside. Punk got a chair and the lights came on. Punk hit the casket with the chair a few times and said, “Come on.” Punk wearily opened the coffin and Teddy Long was inside, bound for glory. Punk made fun of him for a moment and then helped him into the ring. He untied him and helped him to his feet. Teddy grabbed the mic and fell down.

He said effective immediately, the Dragon’s Gate hold was legal. He also announced that Punk would face Taker for the world title in Hell in a Cell. Teddy said Punk would also face Taker tonight. The crowd popped huge and Teddy rolled out of the ring. He gingerly made his way backstage as Punk looked pissed…

[Q2]The announce team hyped Batista vs. Big Show…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Same old promo from Punk that led to Teddy showing us how awful the Undertaker can be. Smash up way to start the show. I like Taker. He can flat go in the ring still and has ZERO problem putting guys over. He made Edge a Superstar and could do the same with Punk. But this just doesn’t feel right. It feels rushed and sloppy. Not as sloppy as Batista and Show will be, but still.

Back from commercial, the announce team recapped Teddy’s announcements…John Morrison made his ring entrance. Finlay was out next. A video recapped his loss to Ziggler. Knox was out next, followed by Ziggler…

1. John Morrison and Finlay defeated Mike Knox and Dolph Ziggler at 9:17. Finlay and Ziggler started out. Finlay took quick control. Ziggler got a blind tag and Knox hit Finlay from behind to take control. Ziggler and Knox worked in and out quickly. Ziggler locked in a rest hold into the break…[C]

Back at 4:08, Knox had the rest hold on Finlay. Finlay hit a chin buster, but Knox recovered quickly and hit a big clothesline. Ziggler tagged in and hit an elbow drop for two. Knox tagged back in and went back to the rest hold. Finlay made his feet, but Ziggler tagged in and slammed him for two. Ziggler hit a standing drop kick for two. Finlay tried for the tag, but Ziggler stopped him. He whipped Finlay to the corner. Finlay moved and Ziggler missed the stinger splash.

Double hot tag had Morrison all over the ring. He hit several kicks, a nasty looking flying head scissors, and a flying heel kick for two. Knox knocked Morrison to the ground and then took out Finlay. Morrison hit the flying Chuck kick and covered, but Ziggler broke the count.

[Q3]Knox hit the far rope as Ziggler and Morrison battled. Morrison turned and ducked and Knox obliterated Ziggler with the flying cross body. The ref checked on Ziggler and Finlay hit Knox from behind. He conveniently fell near the corner and Morrison followed with Starship Pain for the win. Post match, the faces celebrated in the ring while the heels left…

Backstage, Jeezy was shown with Cryme Tyme. They said if he was going to hand with them, he had to spray paint Teddy’s office. He ran off and Eve scolded them for playing him. Jeezy returned with two DVDs (they plugged them) and Cryme Tyme walked off. Teddy came up and asked Jeezy if he had been the one who defaced his office. Jeezy bragged about it and Teddy booked him in a match…[C]

Shore’s Slant: That match sucked until Morrison got in the ring. Holy hell can Knox work a match! That was a bad spot on the head scissors, but the rest with him and Morrison was very well done. Big things for Knox in the future.

Back from commercial, Jeezy was already in the ring. Kane made his entrance as Jeezy looked like he might schizzle his pantsizzle…

2. Kane squashed Slam Master J in 0:42. The squash match you thought it would be…

Backstage, Punk chased down Vince. He asked Vince if he was going to allow Teddy to “do this to me tonight.” Vince said that Teddy, the ref, and Punk should have thought about the consequences of “your conspiracy”. Punk said, “That was…” and pointed at Vince and Vince repeated, “Your…conspiracy.” Vince wished him luck and walked off as Punk stood their pointing and looking confused…[C]

[Q4]Back from commercial, Vince was introduced and made his ring entrance. The announce team hyped Vince making an announcement about the future of Smackdown. Vince punked the OK crowd and JR and then hyped next week’s 10th Anniversary show. He said DX and Jon Cena would be on next week’s show…

Shore’s Slant: WTF?

Vince went on to introduce a man he “signed myself.” He put over this person as a future world champion. He introduced, Drew McIntyre…

Shore’s Slant: WTF!

McIntyre cut a promo about how awesome he was and said after they honored Smackdown next week, it would all be about him. He said the party would last for him for a long time. R-Truth’s music hit and he made his entrance through the crowd. He did the whole “What’s up?” bit and then attacked McIntyre. He beat him down until the officials broke it up…The announce team hyped Batista vs. Big Show for next…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Are you f-ing kidding me? So, in order now, we have:
1. The Cryme Tyme/Slam Master J segment
2. The Kane Squash
3. Vince screwing Punk
4. The announcement that DX and Cena will be here next week
5. Drew McIntyre introduced as a future main eventer (which might be true, but maybe a little early?)
6. And R-Truth, who danced his way down to a fight
What the hell happened while I was gone?

[Q5]Back from commercial, the Big Slow made his entrance with Jericho. Badtista was out next…sigh…

3. Batista defeated Big Show (w/Chris Jericho) by disqualification at 11:02. They locked up and Show pushed Batista away, twice. Jericho mocked Batista to the announcers. Batista tried for a flying shoulder block, but Show knocked him away and took control. Show worked chops and stomps. Jericho was shouting at the crowd from the floor and Show did the big chop on Batista, which caused his deltoid to tear. Kidding. Show whipped Batista who grabbed the ropes to stop. Show charged and Batista ducked the big boot. He hit Show from behind, spilling him to the floor right in front of Jericho. Jericho checked on Show into the break…[C]

Back from commercial at 6:41, Show had Batista in a head lock. A split screen showed Jericho distracting Batista, allowing Show to hit a spear during the break. Batista made his feet so Show switched to a bear hug. Jericho continued to yell from the floor. Batista tried to fight out, but Show hit a standing guillotine leg drop for two.

Shore’s Slant: Now there’s a sentence I never thought I would type.

Show went back to a bear hug on the mat. Batista made his feet and fought out. Show quickly regained control and slammed Batista near the corner. Show went for his splash and Batista moved. Show reversed a whip to the corner and charged in. Batista moved, hit the opposite ropes, and then the spear. He setup for the Batista bomb but sold his ribs hurting. Instead, he dropped Show and slapped on a Kurt Angle ankle lock. Show started to tap and Jericho ran in the ring. Batista broke the hold and hit a spinebuster on Jericho, causing the DQ on Show. Batista put the ankle lock on Jericho until the ref made him stop…

[Q6]A video recapped Teddy’s kidnapping last week…The announce team hyped the main event…Backstage, Vince came into Teddy’s office and asked him why he looked a mess. Teddy said he had been to hell and back. Vince said he told Teddy there would be vengeance. Teddy said, “But sir, you…you…you.” Vince interrupted him and said, “Yeah, you, you, you.” He asked Teddy where the picture of him was. Teddy tried to stall, but Vince insisted he hang the picture. Teddy did and it was the one Jeezy had defamed. Vince got in Teddy’s face, threatened him, and then told him to, “just holla.” Except he said it like he says “fired.” He stormed off, leaving Teddy upset…

Shore’s Slant: The match was as bad as I was afraid. Show has a fair move set for a big guy. But he can only do so much with a guy like Batista. They just don’t work well together. The ending was weak, but maybe it sets up something to keep Batista out of the world title scene. And for the FINAL time, would somebody PLEASE get Vince McMahon off my show!

Back from commercial, a video hyped my baby daddy and the Miz on Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader next week…Back ringside, Cryme Tyme and Eve made their ring entrance, followed by the Harts…

4. David Hart Smith (w/The Hart Dynasty) defeated JTG (w/Shad and Eve) at 2:49. JTG started out with quick drop kicks for one. Smith clubbed him and took control. He hit a couple of slams and stomps, but JTG came back quickly and worked fast offense. He hit a leg drop from the second rope and covered. Natalya put Smith’s foot on the rope. JTG pointed it out to the ref to stop the count. Alright. Eve took out Natalya, but Shad picked her up and pulled her away. Kidd was able to get a cheap shot in and Smith hit a big belly to back suplex for the win. The Harts celebrated on the ramp…

[Q7]The announce team hyped Cena’s gauntlet match on Monday…They hyped the Punk/Taker main event…They played a video that recapped the end of the Batista/Show match. Backstage, Josh Matthews said Batista would join him after the break…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Is Hayes on vacation, has he lost it, or is Vince still on my show? This is booked so bad. Nobody looked good after that match. The first three rows were asleep and the upper area just left. I swear I heard a big fart during that match. Just awful. They two workers weren’t bad, but the story the match told was crap.

During the commercial, the Ric Flair NC Lottery commercial played. (I live in NC in case you didn’t know.)…The announce team hyped the 10th anniversary show next week…Backstage, Josh Matthews brought out Batista. Matthews said he heard Batista was challenging for the tag titles at Hell in a Cell. He asked Batista who his partner was. Batista said he had a partner and they had JeriShow’s number. He said his partner’s number was 619…

Ringside, CM Punk made his entrance. A video recapped the opening segment. His match with the Undertaker is next…[C]

Shore’s Slant: So if you fail a drug test, and bitch about it on Mexican radio, you get to come back to a title shot. Ooooooook.

Back from commercial, The Undertaker made his long ass entrance. Dear God I had forgotten how long this is. No hat tonight, interesting…

[Q8]5. CM Punk defeated The Undertaker by count out at 12:03. Punk ran from Taker to start. Taker caught him and worked him in the corner. Punk managed to slip out and worked Taker in the corner. The ref pulled Punk off, and when he went back, Taker grabbed him with both hands and tossed Punk over the ropes. Punk looked scared on the floor into the break…[C]

Back from commercial at 4:35, Punk had Taker in a headlock. Taker whipped out and hit a shoulder tackle. He knocked Punk to the floor again and followed, Punk slid in first and tried to catch Taker. Taker grabbed his head and hit a hangman move. He worked Punk on the apron and then hit a leg drop on the apron. Vintage Undertaker!

Back in the ring, Taker worked the arm and then went for Old School. Punk kicked out and fought with Taker on the top. Taker knocked Punk to the mat, but Punk popped right up and attacked again. They continued to fight and Punk finally hit the superplex. Punk covered for two and then worked the back. He covered for two and put on a figure four head lock.

Taker managed to slip out and grabbed Punk’s throat. Punk kicked out and they traded blows. Taker whipped Punk to the corner and hit the splash. He followed with Snake eyes, a big boot, and a leg drop for two. Vintage Undertaker! Taker stood Punk up and Punk kicked him in the temple. Taker fell down and Punk went to follow up. Taker grabbed him and locked in Hell’s Gate. Punk was right beside the ropes and grabbed them with his feet, causing the break.

Punk slid to the floor and grabbed his belt. He went to leave, but Taker attacked. He pulled the cowl off the announcers table and lifted Punk for the Last Ride. Punk escaped and slid back in the ring. The ref counted 10 before Taker could get back in and called for the bell. Punk escaped up the ramp and celebrated as Taker looked confused and pissed to end the show…

Shore’s Slant: Look, I realize that these same two are having a match on PPV in a week and you don’t want to give away a finish. But if that’s the case, DON’T BOOK IT! What Smackdown did for so long was to have all kinds of people wrestling both Hardy and Punk while they were feuding with each other. This allowed us to appreciate it when they locked it up. But now, the program is just Taker and Punk…and I’m already bored. The match was a lot like the JTG/Smith match in which there was nothing wrong with it in a vacuum, but the overall experience was bad. Hopefully Vince will go away after the party next week and we can get back to normal: a good Smackdown. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com with whatever is on your mind.

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