WWE Raw on the USA Network
Live from Little Rock, Ar

[Q1] A limousine pulled up. The Bella Twins jumped out. The old SNL “hot tub” music played. Cedric jumped out of the limo and was followed by a lot of other people. Football players, a posse, an old lady, a rabbi, a farmer and a goat all exited the car...

The opening video aired and fireworks lit up the stage. Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler welcomed us to the show. DX’s music hit and they came out to the ring. Triple H was introduced because his match was opening the show...

Hunter took the mic and asked Shawn who was in the first Hell in a Cell match. Shawn answered, “Me.” Hunter asked who won that match. “Me,” stated Shawn. Shawn asked Hunter who won more HIAC matches than anyone else. “Me,” said Triple H. He asked how many matches Hunter won. “Five.”

DX pointed out that Legacy had never been in a Hell in a Cell match. They said the last man they defeated in a Hell in a Cell match was Vincent Kennedy McMahon and they liked Vince. “We do not like you,” Hunter said. He promised to kick Cody’s ass and to do the same at the pay-per-view. He said the “DX-Legacy thing” would come to an end...

1. Triple H (with Shawn Michaels) defeated Cody Rhodes (with Ted DiBiase) by disqualification in 9:11. Cody grabbed the early advantage in the match and got the best of Hunter. Hunter came back and picked Cody’s shoulder as an offensive point of emphasis. He slammed Cody into the post three times and locked in a Crossface. Cody retreated to the floor. Hunter hit a baseball slide into both men... [C]

[Q2] Back from commercial, Cody was in control and scored a nearfall with a swinging neckbreaker. Cody springboarded himself to the top rope and hit a moonsault for a two count. Impressive. Hunter backdropped Cody to the floor. Cody stood up and slapped Michaels in the face. It was a setup as Legacy double teamed Michaels on the floor. They left Michaels lying.

In the ring, DiBiase hit Hunter with a chair and the referee called for the bell. Rhodes hit Cross Rhodes on Triple H. DiBiase followed up with Dream Street. They put Hunter’s head in between a chair. Rhodes went to the top rope but Shawn recovered and ran off Legacy with a sledgehammer. Legacy retreated as Shawn sold what looked like a hamstring injury in the ring as he checked on Triple H...

Twill’s Two Cents: I thought this was much better than last week’s match. Last week, even though DiBiase dominated his match with Michaels, the last image of the match was Michaels approaching a victory before outside interference. Tonight, Rhodes dominated the match and Legacy outsmarted DX. Great segment that really gave Legacy an edge moving forward.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger for the United States Championship was advertised, as was a contract signing for the HIAC match between John Cena and Randy Orton. Cedric the Entertainer is due out after the break... [C]

A cool video for Hell in a Cell played focusing on John Cena vs. Randy Orton. This will be Cena’s first Hell in a Cell match according to the narrator...

[Q3] Lilian Garcia introduced “charismatic funny man” Cedric the Entertainer. Cedric came out to absolutely no reaction with the Bella Twins. Cedric said he was the real deal and a real WWE fan. He said Big Show drove a Prius...

Twilling note: Be aware of a woman who drives a Prius.

Cedric said there were a lot of second and third generation stars. A bunch of graphics were shown on the big screen. He called Randy Orton “Randy Thornton.” He was booed. Legacy and their dads were shown. Big Show was named as the illegitimate child of Andre the Giant and King Kong Bundy. Mark Henry was the illegitimate child of the Kool Aid guy. Finally, a cartoon jackass was The Miz’s father. Cute.

Santino Marella came out and said Cedric inspired him to be a stand up comedian. Cedric said he could open doors for Santino. Santino did his act and it was “Santino funny.” By the way, Cedric knew what the Milan Miracle was, but he did not know Randy Orton’s last name. Chavo Guerrero came out. Cedric joked about Chavo losing week after week to a leprechaun. Santino whispered to Cedric and Cedric was surprised to learn Chavo really did get bested by Hornswoggle over and over.

Chavo challenged Cedric to a match after pointing out his problem not being Hornswoggle, but the guest hosts. Cedric said he was involved in a battle with the star of a movie he is directing and we could go to a website to help him out. I’m sure at least eight people will see this movie. Santino accepted the challenge for Cedric...

Twill’s Two Cents: Dreadful segment where Chavo was involved, but entertaining (albeit long) in the Cedric and Santino parts. Cedric is awesome on the mic. If Vince liked managers, Cedric would be a great manager for someone who was not great on the mic. Santino was funny and we move onto Chavo losing to guest hosts.

Backstage, Josh Matthews interviewed The Miz, who had the U.S. Title draped over his shoulder. He said he was a champion and the United States Champion should actually be from the United States. He said he did not float over here in a raft listening to a Bob Marley CD. Kofi attacked Miz from behind and took his belt back... [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Humorous promo by Miz, but he looked weak by letting himself be prone to an obvious attack from Kofi.

[Q4] 2. The Miz defeated Evan Bourne in 5:20. Miz was impressive working on the arm of Bourne. Bourne fought back momentarily, but Miz hit his corner closeline. He went to the top but Evan crotched him and hit a hurricarana. Bourne tried the SSP and landed on his feet when Miz moved. Miz hit what Cole called the “Skull Crushing Finale” for the win...

Twill’s Two Cents: It was short and Miz was on the offensive for the majority of the match, but it was a very good match. Miz looked crisp on offense and Bourne was impressive as well. Fun match and a potentially good future U.S. Title feud.

Backstage, Randy Orton approached Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes and told them despite the fact he originally wanted them out with him for the contract signing, he was giving them the rest of the night off because they were on the cusp of “ending DX.” ... [C]

The King stood in the ring to emcee the contract signing between John Cena and Randy Orton. The canvas had a red cover and a table was present. Footage was shown of Batista defeating Orton last week with the help of Cena. Orton took a seat. Cena came out next. Why in the hell does he still salute? Cena smiled as Orton looked emotionless.

[Q5] Cena spun back and forth on his chair as Orton did not move a muscle. King said there was a “no physicality” rule for tonight’s contract signing. King told Orton he could face Cena in a HIAC match or give up his right to a rematch. Orton signed the contract and ordered King out of the ring, to which he obliged.

Orton told Cena he thought he had him figured out. Orton said he was more dangerous now than ever. He said he has been in a HIAC match and knows how to win. He promised Cena he would never be the same after this match. Cena pretended not to hear anything Orton was saying. Cena played a video of Orton quitting at Breaking Point.

Cena told Orton he told everyone what Orton would say and then mocked Orton’s faces. He said he was never in a HIAC match, but it was ridiculous to think Cena could not win. He pretended to want to walk away and leave Orton with the title. Cena told Orton he would never receive another title shot if he lost this match.

Cena all of a sudden stopped laughing and got serious. He said once the door was locked and the match began, he would destroy Randy Orton. Orton said he wanted to attack him but he legally could not. However, Cena’s arrogance has caused people not to like him. He knew two people who would put him through hell right now. Big Show and Chris Jericho came out and cornered Cena.

Show threw the table to the floor. Cena stupidly attacked, but the tag champions got the best of him. MVP and Mark Henry came out and ran off Jericho, Show, and Orton. Hmmm, I wonder what is coming next. Cedric was shown on the big screen. He booked a six man tag match between the six...

Twill’s Two Cents: Truthfully, I didn’t like that segment at all. Cena was predictable, as was Orton. The six man tag is just fine, but we saw it last week. I guess the show needed a main event and perhaps I’ll like it, I just didn’t like how they got there.

[Q6] Zack Ryder will challenge Christian for the ECW Championship tomorrow night on ECW...

Footage was shown of Alicia Fox defeating Gail Kim to become the number one contender for Mickie James’s Diva’s Championship. Alicia was shown sitting in a chair next the announce table and was introduced...

3. Beth Phoenix defeated Mickie James in a non-title match in 1:10. Mickie flew from the top rope onto Beth on the floor. Mickie went after Alicia and Beth took advantage of the distraction. Beth hit her finisher and that was it...

After the match, Alicia grabbed the belt, brought it into the ring, and hit an axe kick on Mickie. She placed the title over her unconscious body...

Twill’s Two Cents: I wish Beth would have stuck around and kicked Alicia’s ass too. She should be mad at the actual number one contender too.

Graphic were shown for Cedric vs. Chavo, Kofi vs. Swagger, and the six man main event... [C]

A video aired featuring Zack Ryder and his title match tomorrow...

4. Kofi Kingston defeated Jack Swagger by an apparent countout to retain the United States Championship in 1:45. I like how Swagger gets pyro for his pushups. There would be less out of shape and obese people if everyone received pyro for doing pushups. Miz came out and grabbed the belt again. Swagger attacked him from behind, took the belt, and left...

Twill’s Two Cents: That was ridiculously stupid. First of all, why would Swagger give up his opportunity to win the belt in a one-on-one match? Secondly, who do you have to kill to get an announcement at the end of a match? Every match should end with an official announcement. Somebody wins. Somebody loses. Nobody wins. Somebody gets disqualified or counted out. Whatever; just make a damn announcement.

Cedric arriving at the show earlier to open the broadcast was shown... [C]

[Q7] Did you know? WWE television can be seen in more homes worldwide than the NFL and MLB combined...

Twill’s Two Cents: That was actually an impressive facts. Some of the DYK graphics are self masturbatory, but this one was impressive.

After Chavo’s entrance, Santino was introduced as the special guest referee. Cedric came out in what looked like King’s gear with a cape on that said “Cedhammer.” He put on a mask once the bell rang...

Twill’s Two Cents: If he wasn’t prepared to wrestle, when in the hell was he planning to wear that cape?

5. Cedric the Entertainer defeated Chavo Guerrero in 4:13. Cedric went underneath the ring and Chavo met him on the other side. Cedric was noticeably bigger. It looked like Tony Atlas but I couldn’t tell. Chavo tried to explain to Santino that he was not facing Cedric. Hornswoggle, dressed as Cedric, hit the Tadpole Splash. The original Cedric came in and scored the pin...

After the match, Cedric, Hornswoggle, and the big guy (who remained masked) danced in the ring...

Twill’s Two Cents: Cute. That one was not stupid like a lot of the past Chavo matches were. I wouldn’t say we needed to see it, but at least it was a creative twist compared to what we have seen with Chavo and Hornswoggle.

An ad for SummerSlam on DVD (available tomorrow) aired... [C]

[Q8] Al Sharpton was announced as next week’s guest host. Worst guest host ever...

Cole and King ran down three Raw matches for HIAC, including Kofi vs. Miz vs. Swagger, which was just added...

Backstage, Cedric was flirting with Kelly Kelly when Chris Jericho approached him and said he needed to talk. Cedric blew him off. Big Show made the same request and Cedric obliged...

At ringside, Jerry Lawler announced that tonight would be Lilian Garcia’s last show. Lilian gave a very heartfelt goodbye speech. She spoke with tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat. She said it was an honor to sing the National Anthem every week, especially after 9/11. She called the WWE superstars “the best athletes in the world.” (They are) She said her heart would always be “in this ring.” She thanked the fans and they thanked her... [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Very classy move by WWE and Lilian’s speech was very good. She may have messed up a lot, but she did her job with passion and moxie. She will be missed.

Batista vs. Big Show will highlight this Friday’s Smackdown...

In the ring, Orton, Jericho, and Show stood by as their music played. Jericho took the mic and informed Orton of the new stipulation because they hated John Cena too. If the heel team loses, Orton will face Cena, MVP, and Mark Henry in a three on one gauntlet match next week. However, if the heel team wins, Cena will face the same odds in a match against Orton, Jericho, and Show. Cena made his entrance... [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Jericho is awesome. He and Show really have nothing to lose here and although they explained it as having hatred for Cena, they are really screwing over Orton too. Great stuff.

[Overrun] 6. Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, and Big Show defeated John Cena, MVP, and Mark Henry in 8:00. Cena chased Orton around the ringside area and Jericho attacked Cena from behind. “Typical Jericho,” said Cole. Seriously, I think I would rather Mickie James call the show. Yes, I noticed the “Sha-bam” Cole dropped earlier.

Cena hit a belly to belly suplex on Orton. MVP and Jericho tagged in. I wish Cole would stop calling a released overhead belly to belly suplex a “throw.” You don’t throw people. A throw takes place with one hand and involves a ball or spherical apparatus. People cannot be thrown. Anyway, Show tagged in and dominated MVP.

Orton tagged in and locked in the chinlock of doom and MVP was the designated babyface beatdown taker. Once all hell broke loose, Orton and Henry were the legal men. Cena hit the AA to Show over the top rope. Jericho disposed of Cena. Orton hit the RKO on Show for the win...

After the match, Cena looked sad and dejected as the heels look very devious and satisfied...

Twill’s Two Cents: Cedric did a great job as the guest host and this was a decent show. The problem is; decent is the best this show gets. Last week’s show with Trish Stratus as the guest host was one of the better shows in recent memory, and it was decent at best.

What did you think of the show? Let me know by shooting an email to dotnetrich@gmail.com.

RECOMMEND THIS ARTICLE: