By Chris Shore

WWE Smackdown on SyFy
Taped on 12/19 in Rochester, N.Y.

[Q1] The video recap highlighted Sheamus vs. Big Show, and how we got to Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz…The show opened cold from there and Sheamus's music hit. He made his ring entrance as Josh Matthews and JBL checked in on commentary. Sheamus cut a basic promo on Big Show and said his New Year's resolution was to be the new World Champion, but he didn't feel like waiting and called out Show for a title match.

Show made his ring entrance and took a mic. He told the crowd not to boo him, and then asked Sheamus if Show looked like Santa Claus. A "Yes! Yes! Yes!" chant broke out. Sheamus said yes, only fatter. Show told him he should be a comedian. He said that Sheamus's win over him on Raw didn't matter because Show won when it counted, at TLC. He said Sheamus had to go to the back of the line.

Sheamus said he was here to get a title shot, but if he couldn't get one, he was damn sure going to get a fight. Sheamus pulled his shirt off and Big Show called for him to calm down. Booker T's music hit and he came out yelling for Sheamus to stop. He said Big Show had a point, but so did Sheamus. Show said he was not facing Sheamus again because he was a loser, and nobody Booker had in the dressing room was worthy.

Booker said Show would be in action tonight. Show asked who his opponent was, and Booker said he was going to put the name of every Superstar in a hopper and pick Show's opponent. He had the entire locker room come out, followed by the hopper. Show mocked the decision and said whoever Booker picked from the barrel would get knocked out.

Eve and Teddy Long fought over picking the name and knocked the hopper to the floor. Teddy picked it up and Booker chose the name while Teddy and Eve bickered. Booker announced Santino Marella as the winner. Santino danced around excitedly until Big Show got in his face. Show held the belt up for Santino to see and then laughed at him. Show walked off while Santino acted tough…

Shore's Slant: Bleh. Terrible opening. Sheamus was flat. Big Show was forced, and the rest just stunk. Picking out of the hopper for a title shot is always the dumbest story in wrestling.

[Q2][C] Mexican America, er, Primo and Epico were in the ring. The Funkasaurus made his entrance next…

1. Primo (w/Epico and Roas Mendes) vs. Brodus Clay (wThe Funkadactyls). Clay took out Epico and hit his splash on Primo for the win…

Brodus Clay squashed Primo at 1:14.

Post-match, Rosa got in Clay's face. He said, "Ladies," and stepped back. The Funkadactlys kicked Rosa, hit a double suplex, and then both dropped splits into leg drops on Rosa in the most sexually provocative move since Lita's live sex show with Edge. Clay and the kids then danced the night away…[C]

Shore's Slant: Ah, really? You're going to have the two women using the word "funk" to partially describe them do a double tweener drop on the Latina and then bring kids into the same space to dance?

Backstage, Sheamus was trying to give Santino pointers. Santino said he needed to learn the Brogue kick. Sheamus said he could teach him. He did one, and then had Santino try it. He kept trying to get Santino to do it more and more. Santino pulled a hamstring and went down like he was dying in a bad movie…

[Q3] Rhodes Scholars and Wade Barrett were in the ring. Their opponents were out next…

2. Rhodes Scholars and Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston and Hell No. Cody's Mustache and Bryan started. Everybody got in a move or two in the first two minutes and then everybody got in the ring for a stare down into the break…[C]

Back from the break, Bryan was the babyface in peril. Bryan dropped Cody and both men got hot tags to Kofiu Kingston and Wade Barrett. Kofi flew across the ring taking out everyone. He hit a cross body on Barrett and the match broke down. Kofi had Barrett rolled up, but he broke it to hit the Trouble in Paradise on Cody Rhodes, allowing Barrett to hit the Bull Hammer for the win…

Rhodes Scholars and Wade Barrett defeated Kofi Kingston and Hell No in 11:00.

The announcers said Santino had pulled a hamstring and wouldn't be able to compete. Backstage, Big Show told Booker T that he guessed he had the night off. Booker said he promised a match and they were going to pick another name. Show complained that wasn't fair. Teddy brought in the hopper and Booker picked a name. Show asked who it was, and Booker told him he would find out soon…

Shore's Slant: Basic match for the six-man, and no real surprise that Santino is out at the top of the card. Why even tease it though? I realize it is a holiday edition, but even that isn't a reason if you are making the switch.

[Q4][C] Booker and Show were still arguing backstage. Teddy walked in with Ricardo Rodriguez and Booker said he was the guy whose name was drawn. Show laughed and then got Ricardo to announce himself as the new champion. Ricardo started to, but Show knocked him out. Booker and Show argued again before Show walked off…

Zack Ryder made his ring entrance, followed by Antonio Cesaro…

3. Zack Ryder vs. Antonio Cesaro. The match was all Cesaro, save for one little hope spot from Ryder. Ryder missed the Broski Boot and Cesaro hit an uppercut to the back of the head. He followed with the neutralizer for the win…

Antonio Cesaro defeated Zack Ryder at 3:27.

Matthews narrated a video that recapped Miz TV from last week…[C]

Shore's Slant: Ugh. Total paint by numbers Smackdown to get you through the down week. It hasn't been bad yet, but everything feels flat and meaningless.

Miz made his ring entrance as they once again showed the Miz TV incident. No sense of moderation for these guys. Dolph Ziggler and company were out next…

[Q5] 4. Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/AJ and Big E Langston). Both guys started fast and Miz tossed Ziggler over the top rope. Langston caught him and set him down with ease. Crazy spot. Miz tried to jump off the top rope for a move, but Ziggler drop kicked him out of the air…[C]

Ziggler hit his jumping elbow for two. Miz had an immediate comeback and hit a DDT for two. Ziggler missed the Fameassor, allowing Miz to hit his corner clothesline. Miz hit a double axe handle off the top rope and blew AJ a kiss. AJ said something to Langston, who ran up the stairs. Miz turned to face him, allowing Zioggler to hit Zig Zag for the win…

Dolph Ziggler defeated The Miz in 12:00.

Post-match, Ziggler and crew walked up the ramp, but Miz grabbed a mic and called for AJ. They stopped, and Miz said it doesn't matter which WWE Superstar she was with on New Year's Eve, it was going to end in a bang. He said, "Happy New Year, sweetheart." Ziggler ran back down to attack him, but Miz got the better of him. Langston ran in and hit his tackle and finisher on Miz. Langston posed over Miz while AJ skipped around again…

[Q6] Backstage, Booker checked on Ricardo. The doctor said he was in no condition to compete. Brad Maddox showed up and asked for one more shot. Booker told him to piss off. Maddox asked again and mocked Booker's catch phrase. Booker told him he would give him one final chance and told him to get out because his match was next.

Maddox left and Alberto Del Rio ran in. He checked on Ricardo and then told Booker when he saw Show, it was going to be like seeing a big fat piñata. No, I'm not making the squiggly n. I forget how. Booker said he had a better idea and booked Del Rio into the title match. Del Rio said it was for Ricardo…[C]

Shore's Slant: And Del Rio is a babyface again! This guy is closing in on the Mr. Anderson level of turns after the past two weeks. Jeez. Miz vs. Ziggler was good, but uninspiring. It ended like most everyone thought, and the post-match beat down was pretty easy to see coming too. It was done well, but I'm finding it difficult to stay plugged into this show because it's all presented at the same volume level, if you will. Nothing stands out from anything else.

Brad Maddox made his ring entrance and said he had a resolution to become a bona fide WWE star. He said they should remember his name because after tonight, that will be as easy as it gets. Sheamus's music hit and Maddox didn't look happy…

5. Brad Maddox vs. Sheamus. Matthews said if Maddox didn't win, this would be the last time we saw Maddox on Smackdown. Maddox teased leaving, but went right to a head lock. Sheamus shoved him off and hit a tackle. That was the theme for a while; Sheamus toying with Maddox. Maddox shoved Sheamus, and the playing ended. Sheamus hit White Noise and the Brogue kick for the win…

Sheamus defeated Brad Maddox at 3:48.

Shore's Slant: I have to tell you, I like Maddox. I see what they see in him, or at least what I think they see in him. He oozes charisma, but it's a little bit unrefined and random. They need to get him to focus in on something soon and I think he can be a real player.

[Q7][C] The silly Santa story from Raw aired…

6. The Primetime Players vs. The Usos. The PTP were firmly in control, but one of the Usos hooked an inside cradle for the win…[C]

The Usos defeated The Primetime Players at 2:01.

The announce team setup another Shield video that showed them beating up all kinds of people and said they rectified injustice in 2012. They said 2013 would be the year they cleanse injustice from WWE. They said they had no friends, couldn't have any, and didn't want any. They closed by saying "Believe in the Shield," before putting the camera down and walking away again…

Backstage, Matt Striker asked Show about facing Del Rio. Show said it was ridiculous, but if Del Rio wanted to get knocked out like Ricardo, he would do it…

[Q8][C] Show made his ring entrance as a video recapped what happened with Ricardo tonight. Del Rio was out next to a big pop, but it might have been piped in too…

7. Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show for the World Heavyweight Championship. Big Show chopped Del Rio all around the ring. Del Rio came storming back and tried to hook the cross arm breaker. Show picked up Del Rio and slammed him down. He left the ring and started to head toward the back. Sheamus ran out and attacked him, causing the DQ…

Big Show defeated Alberto Del Rio by disqualification at 5:21.

Post-match, Big Show beat up Sheamus and again tried to escape to the back. The locker room came out and beat up Show until he climbed back in the ring. Del Rio hit his enziguri kick and Sheamus closed the show with a Brogue kick…

Shore's Slant: Harmless Smackdown closer for a harmless Smackdown. I hate to see WWE waste any time when so many of their guys need help, but I guess this is what we will always get when they coast. One more week of pre-taped garbage and then the road th eht Rumble begins. I'll be back tomorrow with the Smackdown hitlist and possibly an audio review. There's not a lot here to talk about really, but I'll see what Jake's schedule is and we will go from there. Thanks for watching along tonight.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com or tweet me @TheShoreSlant with whatever is on your mind.

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