By Chris Shore

WWE Smackdown on SyFy
Taped on Tuesday in North Charleston, S.C.

A video recapped Ryback's attack on the Shield and CM Punk from Monday. There was no voice over like normal. Josh Matthews read Vince McMahon's statement and hyped the TLC main event change…

Shore's Slant: Apologies for the late start folks. There was an incident. Everyone is fine, but it's not my story to tell so I won't tell it. Anyway, on with the show.

The show cut to "live" and Booker T was in the ring with a contract signing setup. Booker said he had always settled his business in the ring, or the back, or even a grocery store; but he was the GM now and he had to take care of the show. He said desperate times call for desperate measures. He played a video that recapped all the incidents between Big Show and Sheamus over the past month. Booker said he wanted Sheamus and Big Show to come out and sign a "no contact" contract that will last until TLC.

Big Show was out first, followed by Sheamus. They stared at each other and Booker jumped in and said he would take Sheamus's title shot away if he broke the contract, and he would strip Show if he broke it. Both men sat down and Sheamus looked over the contract. He took a mic and said waiting nine days to beat Show's ass was like waiting for Christmas, he hated to wait but found it was usually sweeter to do so. He said he would get the ultimate present, the World Heavyweight Championship.

Sheamus signed the document and pushed it over to Show. Show looked it over and took a mic. He said Christmas came early6 for Sheamus because the contract made sure Sheamus made it to TLC alive. Show put over how he would kill Sheamus with a chair at TLC, or at the very least end his career. Show made fun of Sheamus by calling him "fella" and saying he wanted to fight.

Sheamus said Show was scared, and he would be happy to end Show's career at TLC. Show dumped the table over on Sheamus and quickly signed the paper. Sheamus popped up and started after Show, but Booker begged him off while Show egged him on. Booker said Sheamus could work out his aggression on Alberto Del Rio in their match later. He chastised Show and said Show had to face the man who beat him in 45 seconds, Daniel Bryan. Bryan made his entrance and Sheamus told him to kick Show's ass…

Shore's Slant: An OK beginning to the show. I don't mind "no contact" stipulations so much, but I loathe contract signings. They have become so cliché. And I don't understand why this needed a contract. If Booker T can just speak it into existence, why have the guys sign it? It comes across as merely a gimmick to get them in the ring together, which it was, but it shouldn't be that obvious. Still, good mic work from both guys, and Sheamus took the table spot well.

1. Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan. The men traded chops and kicks to start. Bryan hit a drop kick that sent Show to the floor. Bryan went for his apron knee, but Show chopped him out of the air…[C]

Back from commercial, Show dropped an elbow on Bryan for two. Show worked his chop/chop/body slam/elbow offense. Bryan was whipped to the corner and jumped up for a short missile drop kick. Show went for a choke slam, but Bryan reversed for a DDT for one. Bryan climbed the ropes, and the camera showed The Shield coming through the stands. When they cut back to the ring, Show choke slammed Bryan off the top rope for the win…

Big Show defeated Daniel Bryan in 11:15.

Post-match, The Shield waited for Show to leave and climbed in the ring. They attacked Bryan, which caused Kane to run out. The Shield beat up Kane and hit the powerbomb through the announce table…[C]

Shore's Slant: Same old, same old from Bryan and Show. Feels like I have seen it too many times. The only thing that was really frustrating though was it wasn't clear whether the Shield showing up distracted Bryan or not. It all happened too fast to come across well. I still think the Shield wins next week and pins Bryan in the process. We'll see what happens on Raw.

Damien Sandow was in the ring and said he had been unable to enlighten the masses, but he would still select someone to be his apprentice. He picked a guy out of the audience who was wearing a Santino shirt and glasses. Yeah, he's not a plant. Sandow gave him three questions: 1) 5+5 2) Who is the current President and 3) A question about an art form known as vanitas. Of course the guy didn't know the third answer.

Miz's music hit and he came to the ring. He said he had a question: What 21st Century WWE star wore his father's bathrobe and got his pink trunks from Victoria's Secret. Miz answered his own question by saying Sandow and left the ring, leaving Sandow speechless…

A video recapped how John Cena ended up in a ladder match with Dolph Ziggler…Brodus Clay made his ring entrance with the Usos. They will face 3MB next…[C]

Shore's Slant: I like Sandow's act as a rule, but I'm not into these apprentice bits. That said, Miz is th real disappointment here. He's still a smarmy asshole, and that's only going to work so far with him as a babyface. I know there have been some very successful smarmy babyfaces through the years, but those guys were established as stars before getting too smarmy. So far, I see no reason to cheer Miz, even when he gets over on the heel.

3MB made their ring entrance…

2. Brodus Clay and the Usos vs. 3MB. JBL said he heard a rumor Slater was Michael Hayes's son. Line of the night. The Usos worked over Slater and McIntyre. Clay tagged in and took everybody out. He tagged in one of the Usos, who took a month to climb the rope while the other two 3MB members ran over and dragged Clay from the apron. McIntyre recovered and knocked the Uso off the top. He followed with Future Shock for the win…

Backstage, Matt Striker interviewed Wade Barrett and started to ask him about the Shield, but Barrett cut him off and said Orton didn't need to worry about the Shield, he needed to worry about the elbow…[C]

3MB defeated Brodus Clay and The Usos at 2:33.

Shore's Slant: Oh dear god that was awful. I'm never a fan of these short matches, but that was especially chaotic sloppy. The ending sequence was half the match, and it just took too long. I don't know what happened, but none of those guys can be proud of that performance.

Kofi Kingston had joined the commentary team and Randy Orton made his ring entrance. Wade Barrett was out next…

3. Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett. Barrett and Orton brawled to the floor and Orton slammed Barrett all over the place. He rolled him back in the ring, but Orton rolled through to the other side and attacked Orton when he followed. Barrett rolled Orton in the ring and almost ended up taking the rope DDT, but he fought back and dumped Orton to the floor…[C]

Back from commercial, Barrett hit a big boot for two. Barrett hit a knee drop and tried to follow with an elbow drop from the second rope, but Orton moved out of the way. Orton ran his comeback and went for the RKO, but Barrett shoved him away. The ref checked on Orton, and Barrett started to take the buckle cover off. Kofi ran over and tried to alert the ref, which cause Barrett to stop and face Kofi. When he turned around, Orton hit the RKO for the win…

Randy Orton defeated Wade Barrett in 11:15.

Backstage, Khali was walking with Natalya. They collected Hornswoggle and headed towards the ring…[C]

Shore's Slant: This might be the most lackluster Smackdown in history. I didn't expect Orton and Barrett to be a classic, but it was as paint by numbers as you can get. They didn't even tell a story, they just hit all the necessary wrestling moments. Kofi's interference was almost assured by being at ringside, so this played out flat as it could be. What a shame.

4. Great Khali and Hornswoggle (w/Natalya) vs. Primo and Epico (w/Rosa Mendes). Khali chopped Primo while Rosa danced for the fans. Hornswoggle tripped her and laughed. She chased him. Natalya leapt over Hornswoggle and attacked Rosa. Khali missed a kick in the ring and fell to the floor. Primo and Epico dragged Horny in the ring and beat him up. Horny hulked up and dove under both guys. Khali killed them both and tagged Horny in for the frog splash and the win…

Great Khali and Hornswoggle defeated Primo and Epico at 2:52.

The Raw Rebound video was the end of Raw. Matthews again read McMahon's statement about Punk and the TLC main event. A video from the Shield had all three discussing why they attacked who they did and repeating they work for no one…[C]

Shore's Slant: A good video from the Shield. Very NWO in the feel of it without copying the exact style. Even Roman Reigns handled his lines perfectly. These guys are doing much better than I had hoped. As to Horny and Khali, you know they are the next tag champions, right? I want to kill myself for typing that, but you can just feel it.

Antonio Cesaro was in the ring in street clothes. Cesaro cut a promo and said America was weak. He said none of the crowd would ever amount to anything. He said we used to chase the American Dream, but now we look like the American Dream. A picture of Dusty Rhodes appeared on the screen. Cesaro said our children and grandchildren would be even worse.

R-Truth's music cut him off and asked Cesaro if he knew what he needed. Truth said he didn't need a new purse or a Riccola, he needed a dose of the truth. Truth said he saw a lot of hard working Americans everywhere he went. Cesaro said Truth was delusional because Truth was like all the people, a failure. Cesaro said that was the truth. Truth got in the ring and said if you kick his dog, he kicks your cat. He attacked Cesaro and Cesaro fled the ring, leaving the belt…

Shore's Slant: Nice try at putting heat on this feud, but Truth is in a terrible place right now. He's not compelling in the least, and the silly "Little Jimmy" act is getting old.

Alberto Del Rio made his ring entrance, followed by Sheamus…

5. Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus. Sheamus and Del Rio traded blows early. Del Rio drove Sheamus to the floor and Big Show walked out on the stage to watch…[C] Back from commercial, Del Rio hit a moonsault for two. Sheamus fought back and put Del Rio on the top rope. He punched him, but Del Rio grabbed the arm and hooked Sheamus over the rope.

Sheamus powered back almost immediately and hit his forearms on the ropes, followed by a suplex. Del Rio fought back and hit a back stabber for two. Del Rio hit his enziguri for two and climbed to the top. He went for another moonsault, but Sheamus moved and hit the Irish Curse backbreaker. He immediately locked on the Cloverleaf for the submission victory…

Sheamus defeated Alberto De Rio in 13:00.

Post-match, Big Show climbed in the ring and dared Sheamus to hit him. Sheamus backed up and started beating on his chest. Sheamus grabbed Ricardo, who was checking on Del Rio, and tossed him into Show's crotch…

Shore's Slant: Speaking of things we have seen before. Del Rio pulling out the moonsault was a new thing, but otherwise this felt stale like the 30 matches these two have had before it. The gimmick at the end with Ricardo got a good laugh from some, but I was mostly ambivalent about it. I don't mean to be so down on this show, but very little impressed me this week. Once again, so much of the show didn't really do anything. There was random moments and too much filler. In other words, it really was Raw lite. I'll have more to say tomorrow on the Hitlist and All Access audio. Thanks for watching along tonight.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com or tweet me @TheShoreSlant with whatever is on your mind.

And read my first work of fiction: The Following Contest is a Dark Match available exclusively on ebook for all eReaders, smartphones, tablets, and PCs for only 99 cents.

RECOMMEND THIS ARTICLE: