By Chris Shore

WWE Main Event on ION
Taped on 11/27 in Bossier City, La.

[Q1] The opening video aired, followed by the pyro, and Michael Cole and JBL opened the show in the ring. They hyped John Cena's first appearance and then setup the Cena hype video. It was better than I thought it would be. Damien Sandow's video aired next. It was well done, but I didn't think it was the right approach. Cody Rhodes Touted his luck to Damien Sandow. John Cena made his ring entrance.

Sandow was out next, cutting a promo where he quoted Socrates and called Cena a false idol. Sandow said he would bring Cena's stranglehold on ignorance to an end. He finished with "Your welcome" and they squared off…

Shore's Slant: The Cena video wasn't near as corny as I had expected. Sandow's, however, was that corny. It was the wrong music and approach for my tastes. I would have done something a little more serious. And Cody's delivery is going to lead to a ton of off-color jokes on Twitter. You've been warned.

1. John Cena vs. Damien Sandow. Sandow ran and yelled at the crowd early when a big Cena chant broke out. He started to walk to the back, but Cena ran him down and rolled him back in the ring. Cena hit his shoulder tackle for two. Sandow hit a dirty kick to the back and stomped on Cena to head into the break…[C]

[Q2] Back from commercial, Sandow continued to work on Cena. JBL was all over Sandow for doing his cartwheel bit and the wind up to the elbow. Cena had one hope spot where he slid out of the ring and quickly rolled back in for a sick clothesline. A minute later, both men hit clotheslines on each other. They stood and traded blows. Cena started to get the better, so Sandow hit a drop toe hold that set dropped Cena on the second rope…[C]

Back at 14:21, Sandow pushed Cena back into the ropes, and Cena got tied up in them. Sandow did another cartwheel and started teeing off on Cena. He backed up to do another cartwheel, but Cena popped free and speared Sandow. Cena threw punches and Sandow rolled from the ring. Cena followed and whipped Sandow, but Sandow reversed it and drove Cena into the steps. He rolled Cena in the ring and hit a swinging neckbreaker, but Cena kicked out.

Sandow did another cartwheel and locked a rest hold on Cena. Cena made his feet and hit the first four moves of doom. He lifted for the AA, but Sandow slipped out. Cena whipped Sandow to the corner. He charged, but Sandow hit a back elbow. Sandow hooked for his neckbreaker finisher, but Cena powered out, dropped Sandow, and hooked the STF for the immediate submission win…

John Cena defeated Damien Sandow at 19:30.

Shore's Slant: Dammit! Just when you have a pretty good John Cena vs. young guy match you get the instant tap. Cole even pointed out that Sandow was tapping before Cena even really had it hooked. No reason for that. The match itself went a little too long. I would have cut about 3:00 off of it, but I'm not really going to complain about it. Sandow got in good offense and Cena made him look legit right up until the last two seconds.

[Q3][C] The announce team setup the Raw Rebound video that covered the CM Punk/Shield/Ryback angle…Cole and JBL played a replay of the end of the match and put Sandow over. They went backstage to Josh Matthews. Matthews read a statement from Sandow where he called himself an ignoramus and said enlightenment had been postponed due to ignorance…

Antonio Cesaro made his ring entrance. A video put him over as a powerhouse. Cole put over the WWE Magazine feature on Cesaro…[C]

Shore's Slant: Sandow's let just made this show. Hilarious.

[Q4] Zack Ryder made his ring entrance…

2. Antonio Cesaro vs. Zack Ryder. Cesaro pounded Ryder down and then hit his running uppercut in the corner. He hit another one to Rydaer's back, and then a straight forearm. Ryder exploded and hit a dropkick that spilled Cesaro to the floor. Ryder hit a baseball slide on the floor and rolled Cesaro in the ring. Cesaro kicked him as Ryder climbed back in the ring. Cesaro hit a hip toss onto the buckle, and Ryder fell to the floor…[C]

Back at 6:02, Cesaro worked a rest hold on Ryder. A video showed Cesaro slamming Ryder gut first into the pole. Cesaro powered Ryder up and over in a gut wrench slam. Ryder popped out of a tilt-a-whirl lift and hit a clothesline. He setup for the Broski boot, but Cesaro went to the floor. Ryder jumped off the apron, but Cesaro hit his uppercut. He rolled Ryder in the ring and hit the Neutralizer for the win…

Antonio Cesaro defeated Zack Ryder at 8:49.

Post-match, Cesaro spoke in two different languages and then said he had something to say in English. He said Ryder was everything that is wrong in America. A "USA" chant broke out and Cesaro said he was the US Champion. He said the people disgusted him and he hated coming to that part of the country. He said he had to because he was their champion. He said his record showed he was the greatest champion in WWE history.

Kofi Kingston's music hit and he came to the stage. Kofi said the great thing about WWE is people can make silly claims like Cesaro did, and then you get to prove it. He said next week the main event would be champion vs. champion. His music hit to end the show…

Shore's Slant: Meh match between Cesaro and Ryder. The finish was never in doubt so it was hard to get excited for. The post-match verbal exchange was also just OK. Cesaro's gimmick is so weak with the anti-America shtick. I don't feel like people care enough about what he is saying for it to matter. Just let him be the arrogant heel that also happens to be foreign and let people jump to whatever conclusions they want. I don't even mid the occasional USA hate thrown in, but to make it the centerpiece of his act is a mistake. Kofi's part was short and simple. Hopefully both of these guys will get some decent mic time next week. Thanks for watching along tonight.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com or tweet me @TheShoreSlant with whatever is on your mind.

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