Smackdown on The CW Network
Taped on 8/26/08 in Pittsburg, PA.

[Q1] The show opened immediately to ringside and Jim Ross welcomed us to Smackdown. The Undertaker’s music hit and he made his way to the ring while the Fam Damily was shown watching backstage on a monitor. JR and Tazz recapped all that has gone on with Taker and Vickie/Edge. Taker spoke to Vickie, repeating her request for forgiveness. He said he was not the forgiving kind. He said he was coming for her and her soul. He said she would burn in hell.

Taker went to one knee and called out fire that set all four ring posts on fire. Needless to say, the Fam Damily didn’t look happy backstage. Chavo and Bam Neely snuck out, followed by Hawkins and Ryder. Vickie turned around realizing everyone was gone and tried to leave but found the door locked. She looked on frightened as Taker left the ring…

JR and Tazz hyped a SummerSlam rematch of MVP vs Jeff Hardy and a champion vs champion match in Triple H vs Shelton Benjamin….[C]

Shore’s Slant: Rich Twilling doesn’t like Taker’s new voice, but I do. He sounds like the freak his character is supposed to be. A very short opening segment. Let’s hope they’re making room for some good matches.

Back from commercial and a short R-Truth vignette aired. He was introduced and came out dancing. He made his way to the ring. Kenny Dykstra was introduced next. He came out with a mic and cut a heel promo about how he should be the star. He even called Truth “nothing but a convict.”

1. R-Truth defeated Kenny Dykstra at 2:16. Truth started off by slapping Kenny. Kenny took control until Truth came off the ropes with a spinning, flying elbow smash. He hit a scissors kick for the quick win…

[Q2] Backstage Michelle McCool was in a photo shoot. Maryse walked up and they cut promos on each other. McCool said Maryse had no talent. Maryse said McCool would never look like her and soon wouldn’t have the title either. Maryse walked off as McCool tried to look…I don’t know, she tried to look something…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Did Kenny say Hunter and Stephanie’s new baby was ugly? He’s getting killed on every show. Just change his name to Mulky and be done with it. The Divas spot was uncomfortable. Both women tried to sound and look catty, but they sounded stupid and looked like they were trying to keep from laughing. Just not good.

Back from commercial and the Smackdown Rewind was the really bad Diva’s match from last week. You can see the review here…

2. Maryse and Natalya defeated Michelle McCool and Maria at 2:29. McCool and Natalya started. I looked away to fix a misspelling and when I looked back, Maryse hit a DDT on Maria for the win. McCool just stood there while Maria was pinned. WTF? Postmatch, Maryse attacked McCool and beat her down. They tumbled out of the ring. Natalya picked up McCool and held her while Maryse hit her. The heels celebrated up the ramp…

[Q3] JR hyped MVP vs Hardy next and a video package aired recapping their feud. Backstage, Eve (dear God) interviewed Jeff Hardy. He said MVP has been messing with him for a while, but he was nothing more that something else to overcome to be the WWE champion. He said tonight he would leave MVP and his ego flat on his back in the ring…[C]

Shore’s Slant: My little timer said 2:29 for the Diva’s match but I swear it wasn’t that long. The live crowd is dead tonight. At times during both matches you could have heard a bug fart in the arena. I’m surprised we can’t hear them calling shots. Jeff Hardy’s one weakness is his promo skills. Tonight was not bad. Let’s hope it continues to improve. And let’s hope these two can wake up the audience.

Back from commercial and a graphic displayed the rules for the championship scramble as JR explained them. The announce team hyped Triple H vs Benjamin for later…

Backstage, Vickie was in her office looking worried. She tried the phone but it was dead. She managed not to start screaming…yet…

3. Jeff Hardy defeated MVP at 20:10. MVP shoved Hardy and Hardy shoved him back to start. They followed that up with about a minute of mat wrestling. Hardy punched MVP who rolled out and did the heel “time-out” outside the ring. Back in the ring, MVP hip tossed Hardy and slapped him. Hardy angrily swept his legs out and took control of the match. MVP caused a break in the corner and asked for time-out. MVP went for a spear but missed and hit his left shoulder on the ring post. Hardy worked it over for a moment but MVP rolled out again. Hardy hit a suicide plancha just before the break…[C][Q4]

Back from commercial and Hardy was still working on MVP’s shoulder with an arm bar. MVP fell towards the ropes, driving Hardy’s face to the rope/turnbuckle. He followed up with several kicks before a two count. MVP locked in an abdominal stretch which Hardy reversed into a side slam type move. Weird but cool. Hardy hit his sitdown corner dropkick and went for the Swanton but MVP pulled his legs up. Hardy rolled to the corner and MVP hit a baseball slide that drove Hardy’s back into the ring post.

MVP stretched him backwards over the turnbuckle and kicked him like Kozlov has kicked many a jobber. MVP got a series of two counts before placing Hardy in the Camel Clutch. Hardy got a rope break but MVP continued to get near falls. The announcer put over MVP as frustrated because he couldn’t put Hardy away. MVP would hit a big move and get a two count, hit another big move for another two count, and on and on. MVP whipped Hardy to the corner but Hardy climbed the rope. MVP knocked his legs out and Hardy fell on his head. Referee Charles Robinson quickly and franticly checked on Hardy. MVP got another two count after Hardy gave the go ahead.

[Q5] MVP placed Hardy on the top turnbuckle again and went for a belly to back superplex. Hardy twisted in the air and landed on MVP’s ribs. I want to cry now. A little back and forth led to Hardy hitting the Whisper in the Wind and Swanton, suddenly, for the win. Hardy stood up and turned around to see Shelton Benjamin there who immediately hit Pay Dirt on Hardy. He gloated over him as MVP walked over to gloat as well. Benjamin suddenly hit Pay Dirt on MVP as well and celebrated in the ring…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Screw it, that was the best TV match I’ve seen since the Mid-Atlantic/NWA days. This live crowd sucks ass through a straw. They cheered or booed maybe once. If you are only getting Smackdown through this report, I did the best I could with a great, great TV match.

Back from commercial and the Pittsburgh Steelers beat each other up at ringside. A video aired of the wrestlers at the DNC. They showed Cooper Anderson with the US title. Cute. Candice did a little better than the video on Raw…

4. Jesse and Festus fought Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder to a no contest at 1:00. Bell rang, Festus cleaned house, crowed snored. Hawkins and Ryder argued at ringside when Big Show’s music hit. He came to the ring and killed everybody except Festus who had ended up outside the ring and went catatonic at the bell.

Show said that Vickie was apparently so overwhelmed and was overlooking certain superstars. He looked at the camera and said, “Vickie, I will never be overlooked again.” He said as far as what happened…oops, it was an oversight…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Why is there even a tag team division if this is all the tag matches are going to be used for? I love tag matches. I was raised on Crockett tag teams. This sucks so bad. Show was good, but it just depresses me how shitty the tag division is in the WWE as a whole.

Back from commercial and Vickie was still in her office looking scared. Nobody in production has thought to save her yet? Seriously…

[Q6] Back to the ring and Victoria mad her way to the ring. Next out was Bre Bella. Who?...

5. Bre Bella defeated Victoria at 2:35. The live crowd wasn’t into Hardy/MVP, how you think they fared in this match? Pretty basic match. Bell hooked a small package for the surprise win…

A video package aired explaining Cena’s surgery and Rey Mysterio taking his place on the Raw scramble…The announce team hyped Triple H vs Shelton Benjamin as next.

Shore’s Slant: I’m sure Powell and Twill—and probably a few of you—will tell me who Bella is. She’s kind of hot, but I was unimpressed. We’ll see.

Back from commercial and The Brian Kendrick and big Zeke were backstage. TBK cut a promo on how stupid the other scramble participants were for fighting each other tonight. He said he was reading The Art of War to prepare for the scramble…

Shore’s Slant: Really nice promo from TBK. He’s getting better each week. I’m starting to buy his gimmick. Hey, no one tell Twill I stole his shtick.

[Q7] Back ringside and the announcers recapped the Unforgiven matches…Triple H made his ring entrance for his match after the commercial…[C]

Back from commercial and Benjamin cut a short promo calling himself the most precious commodity in the WWE. He said his name and nickname. What, the crowd didn’t know who he was? Then why should they care when he came out earlier? Strange.

6. Triple H defeated Shelton Benjamin at 19:16. These two had a short but good feud several years ago on Raw so I’m hopeful. Hunter started out in charge and worked on Benjamin’s left arm. At 5:00, Benjamin had a flurry of offense and went to the top rope. Hunter kicked him and teased the Pedigree but Benjamin escaped out of the ring. Hunter gave him the one hand “C’mon” as we went to commercial…[C]

[Q8] Back from commercial and Hunter was crawling outside the ring. A replay showed Hunter taking the Ric Flair flip over the turnbuckle to the outside. Hunter made his way back in to a DDT and a two count. Benjamin locked in a figure four headlock but Hunter rolled it up for a two count. Benjamin was on the apron and tried to suplex Hunter over the ropes. Hunter countered with a suplex that Benjamin rolled out of and reversed into a neckbreaker for a two count.

Benjamin missed a Stinger splash at 14:30, allowing Hunter to retake control. He hit several power moves for two counts. Benjamin hit a straight kick to the face for a two count. He whipped Hunter into the corner who bounced out. Benjamin came off the ropes but Hunter hit the spinebuster. He tried the Pedigree but Benjamin fought out and received a facebuster instead. Suddenly, Khali’s music hit and he came out with Mini-me. Hunter stared him down, then turned back to Benjamin who tried a move but got the Pedigree instead.

Postmatch, Hunter stood up and stared down Khali. Benjamin got the US Belt and knocked Hunter out. He left the ring and Khali stepped in and hit the Khali bomb and then posed over Hunter…

Vickie, remember Vickie, was shown still locked in the office. Somebody call R Kelly. She looked panicky while she paced. The lights went out and…ah, there we go. She started to scream, lasting about 20 seconds until the audio faded out…

Shore’s Slant: The match was OK. Not as good as the ones they had on Raw, but not bad either. The ending was a little lame. Khali is not in the scramble. Please God don’t tell me he will interfere in that match. The Vickie ending was very predictable. Let’s see where it goes next week. The show as a whole had very high and low points. I’m mixed on it. The MVP/Hardy match gave me wrestling wood, but the other matches were ho hum or shitty. Maybe the live crowed being on Quaaludes hurt the show the most. One more week until Unforgiven. Let’s hope the go home shows this week are better than last month.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com with whatever is on your mind. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week.

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