By Jason Powell

WWE Raw on the USA Network
Live from Norfolk, Va.

[Q1] The show opened with a video package that hyped the Slammy Awards... Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler introduced the show from ringside...

Justin Roberts introduced Booker T and Hornswoggle to present the "Tell me I did not just see that" award. Hornswoggle came out wearing an afro wig. Booker did most of the talking, and Hornswoggle also spoke. A video set up the nominees.

The winner of the "Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Award" was Jim Ross for his recent dance number.

Ross came out to accept the award. Michael Cole interrupted on the mic and entered the ring. He said the dance contest was obviously rigged. Booker defended Ross and bet Cole that Ross could beat him in a "rap off." Booker, Hornswoggle, and Ross all headed to the ring where Cole was waiting.

Booker told Cole he could go first since he thinks he's so good. Cole said he listens to Eminem and doesn't eat M&M's like Ross does. Music played and Cole danced before breaking into a rap. "My name is Cole, that's my name. I'm like J.R., but I'm even smaller. I went to WrestleMania and I beat Jerry Lawler." It kept going and was intentionally bad.

Booker said Cole's rap was the worst he's ever heard in his life. Ross said he doesn't need music. They played it anyways. "Michael Cole, you're a damn fool, The King beat you like a government mule. I should be calling Raw because you ain't got no talent, you kissed the King's feet and you can kiss my ass." Ross struggled to remember the lyrics and said he's not a rapper. The fans were polled by Booker. Ross won.

Ross's music played, but Booker said it's not over yet. He said the people want to see something they've never seen before. He said the people want to see a J.R.-Roonie. Cole let the world know that J.R. and Hornswoggle were trending. Booker did a Spinaroonie.

[Q2] Booker led the crowd in chanting for Ross, did the whole Booker schtick and then performed his old guy version of the Spinaroonie... A graphic hyped the Superstar of the Year award... Mick Foley was shown walking backstage. The announcers said he would be presenting the next award... [C]

Powell's POV: Well, that was painful and I assume it will just keep getting worse in terms of campy comedy. Ross continues to be a good sport despite the ridiculous situations they put him in.

"The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Mick Foley were escorted (by Divas) onto the stage to present the Holy Shit (yes, they censor it) award. Foley said he's always wanted to come out to DiBiase's entrance music. Ted stole Mick's cheap pop gimmick and said he's always wanted to do that.

After some cornball comedy, they ran through the nominees of Sheamus powerbombing Sin Cara through a ladder, Randy Orton hitting a jumping Christian with the RKO on the ring steps, Big Show and Mark Henry breaking the ring with a superplex at Vengeance, and Evan Bourne hitting AirBourne off a ladder.

The Holy Shit Award went to Big Show and Mark Henry.

Big Show walked onto the stage and accepted the award. He said he was there by himself because Henry is gun shy after what he did to him on Smackdown. Show said the World Hvt. Championship would look good next to the Slammy Award and plugged his title shot at TLC.

Big Show headed to the ring for a match and highlights aired of Show working over Henry on Smackdown. Wade Barrett cut a promo as he made his entrance. He said that the Barrett Barrage will be coming for Show if he wins the championship... [C]

Powell's POV: 30 minutes of campy comedy and no wrestling. They did manage to sneak in a couple of quick plugs for the TLC pay-per-view during all of the nonsense, and it's always good to see The Million Dollar Man.

[Q3] 1. Big Show beat Wade Barrett by DQ. The match was joined in progress and Barrett was already selling on the floor. A table was set up at ringside, and Lawler noted that tables, ladders, and chairs were at ringside due to the TLC pay-per-view on Sunday.

Barrett went to the second rope with the goal of putting Show through the table, but Show recovered and broke the table with his fists. Barrett grabbed a chair and was disqualified. Big Show punched it and cleared Barrett from the ring... [C]

Powell's POV: Yes, they had to join the match in progress. We saw about 90 seconds of wrestling. Show suffered a minor cut on one of his eyebrows during the match. Barrett looks like a giant Rocky Balboa now that he's wetting his hair down before the matches.

An ad aired for the WWE Tribute to the Troops special that airs Tuesday night on USA Network... A TLC commercial focussed on Triple H vs. Kevin Nash...

Justin Roberts introduced "Road Dogg" Jesse James, who came out to his WWE entrance music and wore a DX t-shirt. He ripped off some rhymes and said he was trying to keep them PG. He set up the Pipe Bomb award. A long video of fun clips featuring several wrestlers aired, along with a campy scene from a Triple H movie.

The Pipe Bomb of the Year Award went to C.M. Punk.

Powelll's POV: Apparently, there were like 7,000 nominees. Am I the only person surprised that Triple H didn't win the Pipe Bomb award? Okay, not really.

[Q4] C.M. Punk brought out a mannequin in a blond wig and a Dynamic Dudes t-shirt. Punk ran through a list of people he'd like to thank (presumably some inside jokes). He pulled the shirt up on the mannequin and said it was anatomically correct. "Join me in honoring a legend, I give you a tribute to John Laurinaitis," Punk said.

A Laurinaitis video set to some corny '80s sounding music played. It included current footage and footage from his past as Johnny Ace. Back live, the crowd was quiet. Punk said Laurinaitis couldn't be with them because he was busy watching "Point Break" in the back and wishing he was Patrick Swayze. Punk said he was accepting the award on his behalf and impersonated Laurinaitis saying, "You like me, you really, really like me"...

Cole hyped Punk and Orton vs. The Miz and Alberto Del Rio for later in the show... [C]

Powell's POV: The video was comical and I'm sure it got a lot of laughs backstage. However, the live crowd's non-reaction said everything you need to know about that segment. The crowd was hot for Punk when he came out and damn near silent by the time the segment concluded.

A Tribute to the Troops video ad played.

Powell's POV: It was set to the latest horrible Nickelback song, as the band attempts to crossover from hard rock band to shitty poppy chick rock band pretty boys. Correction, they've been a shitty poppy chick rock band all along. They are the John Cena of the rock world...

Lita was introduced as the presenter of the Divalicious Award. She said it's been a minute since she'd been out there. She said she had an entire career full of Divalicous moments. She ran through some and said she was able to meet her all-time favorite person, Pee Wee Herman. The nominees for the award were Kelly Kelly, Kharma, Natalya, and Beth Phoenix.

The winner of the Divalicious Award went to Kelly Kelly.

Kelly came out in a nice dress and tried to act shocked. Beth Phoenix and Natalya came out and tried to take the award. Kelly slapped Beth across the case, and Natalya pulled Beth back to avoid a confrontation...

Powell's POV: Kharma is watching the show. "Gurrl, don't take that," she wrote on Twitter. "I'd hit her upside the head with her own damn award."

Santino Marella was introduced and Cole reset the show since it was the top of the second hour and the time when Raw normally begins. The Bella Twins joined Santino on the stage.

[Q5] They were presenting the award for the OMG Moment of the Year. He mispronounced the name of the award. The Bellas tried to set him straight. He said they follow Alberto Del Rio around like a couple of escorts. The nominees were Triple H Tombstone on Undertaker, Rock hitting the Rock Bottom on John Cena, the Superstars walking out on Triple H, and C.M. Punk taking the WWE Title.

The winner of the OMG Moment of the Year was Triple H hitting the Tombstone on Undertaker at WrestleMania.

Triple H's music played. His music played and Santino looked nervous. Hunter came out wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and a leather jacket. He carried the sledgehammer and did his full entrance complete with the water spitting. The crowd was fired up to see Triple H.

Hunter said the OMG moment wasn't what was shown. He said it was actually when the match was over and Undertaker was unable to leave the ring under his own power. "He was carried from that ring," Triple H said. "Only one man walked out and it was me. Nine months later and The Undertaker is no more." Triple H claimed The Streak came to an end at WrestleMania.

Highlights aired of Kevin Nash taking out Triple H with a sledgehammer. He said might will make right. He said he will climb to the top of the ladder and grab the sledgehammer because he is right. He said he will bring the sledgehammer down on Nash repeatedly because he is right.

Triple H said that all the lies and deception are over on Sunday. "This Sunday I will show the world that I am right and Kevin Nash, you are simply done." Hunter looked into the camera as he said "done" to close the segment. Santino waited on the stage and smiled as he held out the award. Triple H scared him off and did not take the award... [C]

Powell's POV: I think this means we can scratch Undertaker vs. Kane, Undertaker vs. Mark Henry, Undertaker vs. Sting, and Undertaker vs. Tim Tebow from the list of potential WrestleMania 28 matches.

An ad for Friday's Smackdown essentially hyped that it was the final show before TLC...

Tony Atlas and David Otunga came out to present the award for . Otunga carried his coffee mug out with him. Atlas did the laughing bit that he used to do on NXT, so most people probably had no idea what the hell he was doing. They actually announced an award for whichever of the nominees would trend on Twitter first.

[Q6] The nominees will compete in a four-way and the winner will be named afterward. Atlas kept laughing, but the crowd wasn't laughing along with him. The nominees were Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, and Zack Ryder...

2. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero) defeated Zack Ryder, Cody Rhodes, and Daniel Bryan in a four-way. The show cut to break just 40 seconds into the match.

Powell's POV: We're one hour and 20 minutes into the show, and we've seen just over two minutes of wrestling so far.

The heels took control of the match and agreed to go after their non-pay-per-view opponents. Later, Ziggler tried to roll up Rhodes, but Cody kicked out of the pin attempt. Cody hit the Alabama Slam on Ziggler for a near fall.

[Q7] [C]

Powell's POV: It appeared that the match would never end, but Zack Ryder and Dolph Ziggler finally just trended on Twitter. Then again, so is "Team Showstopper." The description says it's because "WrestleMania 26 is tonight." Um, okay.

The pace picked up briefly after the break. Cole tried to talk about the match. "More importantly, who is trending?" Ross asked. Bryan hit a series of kicks to Rhodes in the corner and let out a primal scream afterward. The heels hit superplexes on the faces. In the end, Ziggler hit the Zig Zag on Bryan and pinned him...

Jerry Lawler entered the ring to announce the Slammy award winner.

Zack Ryder won the Slammy Award for Trending Star of the Year."

Lawler handed Ryder the award. Ziggler hit Ryder with the Zig Zag and took his Slammy Award... Cole hyped John Cena vs. Mark Henry for later in the show... [C]

Powell's POV: The latest January 2 mystery man video is available now at Youtube.com/watch?v=XNdd9W5__TY.

Christian hobbled out on crutches and wore a neck brace. He said he deserves an award for being courageous. Nope, I get that for gutting through audio with a common cold recently! Anyway, Christian blamed the fans for not being outraged enough to get him one more match for the World Hvt. Championship.

[Q8] The nominees for Game Changer of the Year were Triple H relieving Vince McMahon of his duties, Edge announcing his retirement, C.M. Punk, Kevin Nash, and Alberto Del Rio, and The Rock and John Cena.

The Slammy Award for Game Changer of the Year went to The Rock challenging John Cena for the main event of WrestleMania 28.

John Cena's music played and he came out to accept the award. Way more boos than cheers this week. Cena walked out with a big grin and thanked the fans as the boos (and some cheers) continued. Cena said he wasn't going to take credit for the award. "All me to introduce to you the most electrifying man in all of entertainment, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson," Cena said.

Cena looked at the entrance area, but Rock didn't come out. "What do you mean he's not here?" Cena asked. Cena looked at someone off-camera and recalled Rock saying that he was never leaving and told the person to find Rock's assistant Brian. Cena said this is where they air the satellite clip. "We don't have a clip?" Cena asked. "This is worse than J.R.'s rap."

Cena said he was going to apologize on behalf of "Team Bringing It" for not bringing it. He said he was having fun tonight, but he hopes that Rock will see it and it will fuel his training so that he can do what he does best, which is put boots to asses. Cena said the real game changing moment will be April 1 at WrestleMania. He said he'll be at his very best and hope that The Rock will also be at his very best.

Cena said the announcement of the match changed the game for the year. He said Cena vs. Rock at WrestleMania 28 will change the game forever... [C]

Powell's POV: I enjoyed that more than the live crowd. Cena needled them by teasing The Rock and many in the crowd bought it based on their reactions. Cena delivered solid hype for WrestleMania, but The Rock tease seemed to kill the crowd, so they weren't popping for the Mania talk.

A video recapped the contract signing from last week...

[Q9] 3. The Miz and Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) defeated C.M. Punk and Randy Orton in 12:40. The announcers noted that Punk and Orton have had issues in the past. At 3:30, the announcers spent time talking about (a) the match (b) the TLC pay-per-view (c) Jim Ross's Slammy Award? Here's your clue. [C]

The heel team worked over Punk. The live crowd was so quiet you would have thought they were handing out another Slammy award. Punk came back with a kick to the back of Miz's head and the crowd came to life in anticipation of the hot tag. However, Wade Barrett came out and pulled Orton off the ring apron.

Punk avoided Miz's high knee in the corner. He went for the GTS, but Miz avoided it and hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Miz pinned Punk.

[Q10] After the match, Orton headed through the crowd in search of Barrett. Meanwhile, the heels remained in the ring with Punk and worked him over by dropping the ladder over his back.

Barrett applied the Cross Arm Breaker while Punk's arm was wrapped in the ladder. Miz took the mic and said they weren't going to take him out yet because they want him at TLC. Miz said the pipe bomb is going to blow up in Cena's face. He said the championship reign ends at TLC...

Powell's POV: Good booking. Punk didn't lose much because he should have been able to make the tag, yet the heels look like they have a chance to win via the numbers game on Sunday. Plus, it added a little to the Orton vs. Barrett feud.

The announcers hyped the Superstar of the Year Award. Cole cast his vote for The Miz at ringside. Lawler said he's already voted... The latest Kane video aired... [C] The WWE Network video was shown...

Vickie Guerrero and Goldust were introduced as presenters. The announcers said Vickie looked gorgeous. Goldust said Vickie is already a winner because she's the only one who actually wears more makeup than he does. They presented the award for A-Lister of the year. The nominees were The Muppets, Hugh Jackman, Snooki, and Cee-Lo Green.

The Slammy Award for A-Lister of the Year went to Snooki.

"It figures that Snooki couldn't be here tonight," Vickie sneered. However, they had a pre-recorded video with a slimmer Snooki, who thanked WWE and wished Zack Ryder luck at TLC before doing the "Woo Woo Woo" routine...

Powell's POV: I can't believe they screwed over Jonah Hill. Oh, wait, never mind.

Backstage, Josh Mathews interviewed Mark Henry, who said he's not going to lose on Sunday at TLC. He said John Cena embarrassed and disrespected him by getting into his business. He said Cena shouldn't worry about WrestleMania, he should be worried about being inducted into the Hall of Pain...

[Q11] [C] The announcers plugged a WWE Magazine feature for people who are too dumb to understand the concept of TLC...

Sheamus made his entrance. Jinder Mahal cut a promo as he walked to the ring and kept going as he entered the ring. Sheamus blasted him with the Brogue Kick. Sheamus shrugged his shoulders and left the ring. Cole said Sheamus just kicked Jinder back to India... The announcers plugged the Superstar of the Year voting... [C]

Rey Mysterio came out to introduce the Superstar of the Year award. He received a nice, yet not overwhelming reaction from the tired crowd. Mysterio said he believes the award is the greatest honor for any superstar because the fans decide who wins. The nominees were Randy Orton, The Miz, John Cena, C.M. Punk, Alberto Del Rio, and Mark Henry.

The Slammy Award for Superstar of the Year was awarded to C.M. Punk.

[Q12] Punk's music played, but he did not come out to accept the award. Rather, John Laurinaitis came out and Punk's music stopped playing. Laurinaitis introduced himself in his usual fashion. He said Punk was in no condition to accept the award, so he was accepting it for him.

The fans chanted "C.M. Punk." Laurinaitis held up the Slammy and pumped it in the air along with the chants... A shot aired of Mark Henry walking backstage aired. Static filled the screen and the latest January 2 mystery man video aired. Now a female holds the key to the mystery person's arrival and rebirth, and then things will never be the same again. The video concluded with the word "Control" on the screen...

Powell's POV: Jimmy Garvin and Precious? Peter and Lois Griffin? New Jack and Terri Runnels?

At ringside, the announcers spoke about Vince McMahon, Kofi Kingston, and The Bellas appearing in Afghanistan. Lawler told a story about a female soldier who ran up and hugged Vince McMahon. She showed him a flip camera photo of her son wearing a WWE Championship belt. Lawler showed the woman's son and husband in the front row and said it was a surprise to the female soldier...

Powell's POV: Awesome story and a class move by WWE. Call it a public relations move if you must, but that's very cool move as far as this viewer is concerned. A true highlight of an otherwise lousy night of television.

4. Mark Henry fought John Cena to a no-contest in a non-title match in 9:00. The bell rang and they locked up. Henry shoved Cena to the mat. The show went to break. [C]

[Overrun] After the break, Cena went for his finisher on Henry, but he couldn't keep him up. The match continued until pyro shot off and the lights went off. Kane's music played and the crowd popped. Kane walked to the ring wearing a big, clunky facial covering.

Once he entered the ring, Kane grabbed Cena by the throat and chokeslammed him. Kane did his usual pyro routine. He removed the big facial covering and showed off his new mask along with paint around his eyes and hair on his head...

Powell's POV: Finally, something worthwhile. Several viewers pointed out that Cena was shown in the Kane video that aired earlier in the show. I was hoping we'd go back to Kane having his face completely covered because the character would feel timeless again, but I'll settle for this.

Unfortunately, one big return at the end of the show doesn't make up for three hours of garbage. The Slammy Awards were just a joke that only people in the company laugh at. The live crowd looked bored early on and rightfully so. I'll have more to say about the Slammy Awards in Dot Net Members' audio later tonight. Join us on the ad-free version of the site and listen to recent interviews with Bobby Lashley and Shawn Daivari by signing up for membership now via the Dot Net Members' Signup Page.

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