By Chris Shore

Smackdown on SyFy
Taped on 9/20/11 in Dayton, Ohio.

[Q1] The opening video aired, followed by what looked like the locker room standing near the ring. John Laurinaitis was in the ring and said that he had called everyone together to talk about how Triple H might have lost control of the WWE. He said that Truth and Miz were fired and he now thought Triple H had it under control. He said when Triple H got there tonight, the crowd would see it too.

Johnny Ace introduced Mark Henry who had walked up to the crowd and they parted like the Red Sea. Henry climbed in the ring. Ace shook his hand and handed him the mic before leaving. Henry said it took 15 years for him to win the title, and it would be 15 more before somebody took it from him. He called out a few people individually and asked if they believed him now.

Triple H's music hit and he came to the ring. He reached for the mic, but Henry just glared at him. He continued to hold his hand out, and Henry continued to stare. He said something to the big man, and Henry handed over the mic. Before Hunter could say anything, Christian had a mic and cut him off.

He climbed in the ring and kissed Hunter's ass. Christian said he was a big deal around here. He buried Henry as having the "wrong" face and Henry started towards him. Hunter gave Henry a "wait a minute" gesture and let Christian ask for his one more match.

Hunter thanked everyone for coming out and assured them all that he was in control. He said since Christian wanted to lead so bad, he could lead in front of all the workers because they would surround the ring for a lumberjack, world title match when Christian faced Mark Henry. He said the winner would go on to face Randy Orton at Hell in a Cell…[C]

Shore's Slant: A sleepy opening segment, but it wasn't poorly done. Johnny Ace is a heat black hole. They should bottle him and use it to treat overly hyper children. He could put a crack head to sleep. And the Christian stuff is old and worn out. Plus it led to cheers for Henry, which is stupid when you think about it. Smackdown continues to feel like the B show since they started the Super Raws.

[Q2] 1. Sheamus defeated Heath Slater at 4:29. Sheamus powered Slater around for a moment, but Slater hit a kick in the corner, followed by a swinging neck breaker for two. Slater hit a cool jumping reverse neckbreaker for one and slapped Sheamus. That pissed Sheamus off and he killed Slater with a Brogue kick for the win…

Khali was shown stretching backstage. Christian walked up and tried to bribe Khali into helping him against Henry. He asked Khali if he understood, and Khali said he understood Christian was small. He held up his fingers like he was making a small dick joke. Christian laughed and asked if they had a deal and Khali kept smiling and saying, "You are small." Christian tried to laugh it off and left…[C]

Shore's Slant: Ugh. I'd rather have straight PG than lame PG-13 like that with Khali. Sheamus vs. Slater was a enhancement match so I'm not sure what you want me to say. It was what it was. Sheamus looked good. Mission accomplished. Though I would much rather have a story for the guy.

Wade Barrett made his entrance while a video showed his loss to Gabriel last week in a tag match. Gabriel was out next…

[Q3] 2. Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel. Barrett hit some high knees and drove Gabriel to the floor. He rolled Gabriel back in the ring for two. Barrett whipped Gabriel to the corner. Gabriel went up and over and hit head scissors that spilled Barrett to the floor. Gabriel hit a big dive that almost crashed them into the announce table. Back in the ring, Gabriel started to climb the ropes, but Barrett hit a big boot. He followed with Wasteland for the win…[C]

Shore's Slant: Looks like it's rebuild time on Smackdown. Both matches so far have been enhancement matches. And looking at the match list, I don't think we are going to get anything but that tonight, even the main event. By the way, I am having intermittent Internet (say that five times fast) problems so if I have a long break in updating, I'm not gone, just delayed.

Back from commercial, Matt Striker asked Randy Orton if he had a comment on his match tonight. Orton said no. Striker asked what he had been thinking of since losing the title. Orton said "going to hell." He put over winning the title again against whoever won tonight…

The announce team setup a Hell in a Cell hype video…Backstage, Christian was trying to convince Ezekiel Jackson to help him in his match with Henry. Zeke no sold it like Khali, and Christian said they had an agreement and walked off…[C]

Shore's Slant: Back to paint by numbers promos from Henry. What a shame.

[Q4] 3. Natalya and Beth Phoenix defeated Kaitlyn and AJ at 2:01. The crowd died immediately for this. AJ hit her Shining Wizard on Beth, but Natty broke the count and Beth hit the Glam Slam on AJ for the win…[C]

Shore's Slant: See, more enhancement matches. Kaitlyn is awful, but I still think there is big money (as big as it gets for the women anyway) in AJ.

4. Cody Rhodes defeated Randy Orton by Disqualification at 3:15. Orton threw Rhodes to the floor at the start. He rolled Rhodes back in the ring and Rhodes attacked the leg Henry had worked at Night of Champions. He worked the leg on the post and then took the top turnbuckle cover off. The ref stopped him and put it back on, giving Cody the chance to hit Orton with the mask. He covered, but Orton kicked out at two. The ref admonished Cody for his mask being off. By the time he got back to Orton, Orton snatched the mask off and hit Cody with it to cause the DQ. Post-match, Orton beat up Cody with the mask and then hit his rope DDT.

[Q5] The attack continued to the floor where Orton hit Cody with the ring bell. He cleared the announce table, and then a very awkward edit cut to Orton hitting the RKO on Cody on the announce table…

Backstage, Christian offered Sheamus a potato as a peace offering. He said when he won the World Title back, Sheamus would be the first to get a title shot, even if Sheamus did kick him in the face. Sheamus said Christian could count on him, and he would cherish the potato forever. Christian walked off and Sheamus took a bite of the potato. He spit it out and said it wasn't Irish, it was from Idaho…

Shore's Slant: The Christian story right now is stupid, but the "It's from Idaho" line was pretty funny. And the Orton thing was just to remind everyone he can be insane so he can beat Henry at Hell in a Cell. Forgive WWE the hard cut in that segment. Our correspondent said Cody was busted wide open from the bell shot, and the blood was evident at ringside.

5. Great Khali defeated Jinder Mahal at 2:06. Mahal demanded Khali lay down. Khali refused so Jinder attacked. He managed to hit a DDT, but Khali hit the Punjabi plunge for the win…[C]

Shore's Slant: I realize what the problem is tonight. Every bit of this show is "stationary booking." There are to be no advancement of any story (other than this one that fell apart weeks ago), just keep everything in place. How very exciting WWE. Can't imagine why ratings are down.

[Q6] Sin Cara (M) made his ring entrance as a video showed his confrontation with himself last week. Daniel Bryan was out next…

6. Sin Cara defeated Daniel Bryan at 3:04. They shook hands to start. After some chain wrestling, Sin Cara hit a back elbow. Bryan rolled to the floor, and Sin Cara hit a flying head scissor that spilled Bryan into the stairs. He rolled Bryan in the ring and climbed up to the top. The Sin Cara (H) ran out and shoved Sin Cara (M) to the floor. He hit a kick on Bryan and followed with a top rope Senton for the win. Post-match, Sin Cara (H) celebrated in the ring while Sin Cara (M) sold on the floor…

Backstage, Christian stood outside Orton's locker room. Zack Ryder walked out and Christian sucked up to him. He asked Ryder to go ask Orton to help him, but Ryder's phone rang and he walked off. Christian decided not to ask Orton for help and left…[C]

Shore's Slant: I don't get the point of the fake Sin Cara run in. I mean, I understand the story insofar as it can be understood, but why run out and steal a win when the other Sin Cara was already on the offense? I just don't get it.

[Q7] 7. Air Boom defeated The Usos at 3:29. Bourne and Jay started, but Jimmy tagged in quick and they hit a double team slam. The Usos worked over Bourne until Bourne hit a flying head scissor on a kneeling Uso. He got the hot tag to Kofi, and Cole and Matthews called the action like they were Booker T while Booker T asked what they were doing. Kofi hit Trouble in Paradise and Bourne followed with Air Bourne for the win…[C]

Shore's Slant: I swear to God, the Smackdown announce team could fuck up a wet dream. They completely took me out of the only match I got into so far tonight. Even if it was an enhancement match.

The Raw Rebound aired…The ring introductions for the title match took place, and the lumberjacks parted like the red sea again…[C]

[Q8] 8. Mark Henry defeated Christian in a lumberjack match to retain the World Heavyweight Championship at 6:21. Christian stepped through the ropes to the apron. The lumberjacks waved him back in and Christian stepped between the ropes. Henry tossed Christian to the floor and Zeke stopped any of the lumberjacks from touching Christian. He hit a knee lift on Christian and tossed him in the ring himself.

Henry tossed Christian around and then whipped him to the corner. He charged in and Christian moved. Christian hit a number of clotheslines and dropkicks before a missile dropkick finally knocked Henry to the mat. Christian went for a sunset flip, but Henry sat down. Christian got out of the way so Henry hit the canvass and rolled to the floor. The lumberjacks backed away and Henry dragged Christian to the floor too.

All of the lumberjacks attacked Henry. He shoved half to the floor and tossed Trent Beretta onto the other half. He rolled back in the ring, and Christian looked on in horror. Sheamus ran out and tossed Christian into the ring. Henry hit the world's strongest slam for the win. Post-match, Orton ran out and attacked Henry. He hit a dropkick that spilled Henry to the floor and they stared off to close the show…

Shore's Slant: Wow, I was 100 percent right about what the show would be. It's not that it's such a bad thing as it is that it doesn't help them. WWE is the most stagnant it has ever been. A lot of these short matches were well done, especially the main event. But I don't care to watch a ton of short enhancement matches.

I'll have more to say tomorrow on the hitlist, and on the All Access podcast when special guest host Ryan Kester joins me to break down the show. Thanks for watching along tonight.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com or tweet me @TheShoreSlant with whatever is on your mind.

And read my first work of fiction: The Following Contest is a Dark Match available exclusively on ebook for all eReaders, smartphones, tablets, and PCs for only 99 cents.

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