ECW on The SciFi Network
Taped 7/8/08 in Baton Rouge, LA

[Q1] The opening video aired and fireworks lit up the stage. Mike Adamle and The Tazz welcomed us to the show. John Morrison and The Miz made their way out to the ring…

Miz took the microphone and said Baton Rouge was not used to seeing “Hollywood A-listers,” unless Brad Pitt or Sean Penn were boarding up windows from a hurricane that thankfully took out their city. Morrison and Miz exchanged terrible self introductions. They expressed anger in not having any competition for their titles.

Finlay’s music hit and he came out to the stage. He said the people did not pay to see them run their mouths. He thought they would rather see him come close their mouths. He made his way down the ramp. Hornswoggle snuck up behind the champs and squirted them with a water gun. They chased Hornswoggle but Finlay attacked them… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Miz and Morrison are pretty damn good in the ring, but that promo sucked. Look forward to Horny carrying around one of those tag team championship belts.

Upon returning from commercial, Finlay and Miz were already involved in the first match of the evening…

1. Finlay (with Hornswoggle) defeated The Miz (with John Morrison) in approximately 8:25. With Miz on the floor, Tazz referred to Finlay and Hornswoggle “coming up a little short” at the PPV. Adamle said, “Pun intended, ha ha ha.” Tazz replied, “Thanks for that Mike.” Hilarious.

On the outside, Morrison distracted Finlay allowing Miz to kick him in the head. Miz locked in an armbar once they reentered the ring. Miz hit a single arm takedown for the first nearfall of the match.

[Q2] Miz continued to work on the arm as Finlay’s comeback attempts were thwarted every time. There was a guy wearing a Phyllis Diller wig and title belt in the crowd jawing with Morrison. Morrison grabbed the shillegleh but Hornswoggle got involved, causing a lot of chaos. Finlay used the distraction to hit the Celtic Cross for the win…

Backstage, Teddy Long and Tiffany were talking when Armando Estrada walked in. He said he wanted his job back. Long agreed to let him face ECW’s new superstar. Chris Harris (from TNA) walked in and said “Knock knock.” Armando responded, “Who’s there?” Harris said, “Braden Walker, and I am going to knock your brains out.”… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: That joke was not creative or funny. Braden Walker? Okay. Miz vs. Finlay was a good match but I am sick of Hornswoggle, however, it is a catch-22 because Finlay is getting TV time. Tiffany looked fantastic. She is beautiful. As for Armando, he gets a lot of work for someone without a job.

They aired an extra long Raw Rebound focusing on Kane’s meltdown. I thought about it and if I were Michael Cole, I would have just said, “Dead! He is dead.” That way, Kane might have left him alone…

2. Braden Walker defeated Armando Estrada in 4:45. Walker had guitar strumming country theme music. He wore King Kong Bundy tights but with shorts instead of briefs. Adamle wondered what type of “impact” Walker would make. I am guessing he had no clue of the pun. Tazz and Adamle both referred to Atlas Ortiz as “Ricky Ortiz.” Okay.

[Q3] The crowd was silent during the match just like they were during Harris’errrrrrr Walker’s entrance. Like last week, the match was slow and plodding. Armando was on the offensive for the first few minutes using mat holds. Walker came back with a closeline and scored a nearfall with a full nelson slam.

Tazz just referred to Braden as “Adam Walker.” Oops. Walker went to the top and hit an ugly high crossbody for the win. I am not even sure if that was what he was trying to do…

Twill’s Two Cents: Two weeks, two new stars, two bad debuts. Harris looked awfully pudgy. I guess his Mamajuana isn’t working for him either.

Backstage, Teddy Long spoke with Tony Atlas. He offered Tony the chance to be the guest ring announcer for the main event. He told him it was a payday. Tony said he could always use a payday. Mark Henry approached Atlas and told him he was a big fan of his growing up. He asked him how much he benched. Atlas said 650 pounds. Henry said that was impressive for Mr. U.S.A. but he was never the strongest man in the world. He denied Atlas’s handshake offer and walked away… [C]

Lena Yada interviewed Atlas Ortiz (or so she called him) backstage. Ortiz said his friends and family called him Ricky. That is odd, my friends and family call me Atlas. Ortiz said something about being undefeated. It was a less than overwhelming interview.

Tony Atlas approached Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney. Dreamer told Delaney that Atlas was his mentor as a rookie and they traveled a lot together. They exchanged pleasantries and Atlas wished both of them luck… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Will someone figure out this guy’s name? Did Adamle write the show tonight or what?

[Q4]3. Evan Bourne defeated Nunzio in 3:50. A pre-taped 80s style inset interview aired with Bourne saying he could defy gravity. Adamle called Nunzio a two time ECW Champion. Tazz corrected him quickly, saying he was a tag champion but never the ECW Champion.

Nunzio scored a nearfall with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker at two minutes. Adamle tried to say Nunzio was “proud of his credentials” but it came out, “proud of his credunchas.” Tazz asked, “What’s that?” After some competitive action, Bourne hit the shooting star press for the win…

Twill’s Two Cents: Good match. They let Nunzio work a little bit and Bourne is spectacular. Tazz is the MVP of the night. He is rightfully pissed that he was moved to ECW but he is staying sane by tearing Adamle to shreds.

Mark Henry approached Tony Atlas again and asked him about needing a payday by announcing tonight. He said the oldtimers are always looking for a payday. He told Atlas he could carry his bags after the show if he wanted a payday. Atlas said he would think about it… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: First of all, Teddy Long is a horrible businessman by paying a guy to announce during the show, after tickets were sold and people were already watching on TV. Not exactly a wise investment there Ted. Secondly, Henry was hilarious here. He has been solid in his promos and segments in the past few weeks.

Three minutes before the hour, Tony Atlas came out to his “I never had music when I worked for the WWF” music to announce the main event. After Atlas introduced Henry, none of the current announcers worried about losing their jobs because Atlas was horrible…

[Overrun] 4. Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer (with Colin Delaney) in a non-title match ended in a double countout in 2:43. Adamle called Dreamer the “Dream Machine.” Dreamer ran into Henry and fell hard to the mat. Henry manhandled Dreamer. He went against the ropes but Colin grabbed his leg.

Henry went after Colin but Atlas stepped in between. Then he threw Colin into the announce table. Dreamer wondered what Atlas was doing. Henry hit the World Strongest Slam on Dreamer on the floor and the referee called for the bell. In the ring, Atlas announced Henry as the winner and raised his arm…

Twill’s Two Cents: Even Lillian Garcia is a better announcer than Atlas. He announced Henry as the winner of a match he did not win. However, the turn was mildly interesting, unlike the overall show.

What was your opinion of the show? Let me know by sending an email to dotnetrich@gmail.com.

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