By Chris Shore

Smackdown on SyFy
Taped on 8/9/11 in Sacramento, Calif.

[Q1] The opening video aired, followed by the pyro, and Josh Matthews, Michael Cole and Booker T welcomed us to Smackdown. Triple H's music hit and he made his ring entrance. Hunter said just a month ago he was just hanging out backstage, and now he's the COO and special referee for Sunday's WWE title match.

Hunter said he was digging his job, and planned to make each and every Raw and Smackdown exciting and surprising. He announce Ezekiel Jackson defending his Intercontinental Championship against Cody Rhodes, and Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio in a battle of Money in the Bank winners. He also announced Randy Orton vs. Great Khali and tried to announce Christian's opponent, but Christian's music cut him off.

Christian said after saying on Raw that he was going to make an announcement, the least Hunter could have done is answered his phone. Hunter said he didn't give a crap. Christian said he was going to sue WWE because he had documented proof that Orton was unstable. He said if Hunter didn't remove the no holds barred stipulation, he was going to sue everyone, down to all the fans who watch live and on PPV.

Hunter said since Christian had him "by the short ones," he had no choice but to announce the match was still on. Christian looked pissed, and Hunter took 45 minutes to say he would fire Christian if he didn't compete. Christian whined and wanted to know why Hunter was helping Orton. Hunter said he respected Orton, and he used to respect Christian until he saw how Christian won the title and how he's been acting.

He said if Christian wanted respect as the champion, then he had to face Orton and earn it. He left the ring and Christian stopped him. He said he was dropping the lawsuit and he was going to beat Orton at SummerSlam. He said he would also beat whoever Hunter had for him tonight.

[Q2] Hunter said that all made him happy, and introduced Christian's opponent, Sheamus.

Shore's Slant: THAT WAS BORING clap clap clap clap clap. Seriously, I wanted to go to sleep. Hunter was predictable, and Christian sounded like he was about to cry. Sheamus got a good pop, but I could have done without the whole first quarter hour.

1. Sheamus defeated Christian by countout at 5:56. Sheamus started fast and pounded on Christian. Christian tossed him to the floor to escape, and ended up running Sheamus into the post to take control. Sheamus kicked him away and hit his clubbing blows in the ropes. He hit the high knee and called for the Irish Curse. Christian ran and grabbed the title and started to leave. Sheamus stopped him,. But Christian hit a reverse hangman on the rope to escape and take the countout from the ramp…[C]

Shore's Slant: Promises of what that match will be one day soon. There wasn't enough time to see them go, but it didn't stink either. Decent opener for most weeks, but Hunter sucked the life out of the place.

[Q3] A video recapped the Divas action from Monday night…

2. Natalya and Beth Phoenix defeated Kaitlyn and AJ at 1:14. Cole said Beth and Natty wanted to be known as the Divas of Destruction. Kaitlyn and Natty started. Kaitlyn tried to lock up and Natty punked her by slapping her. She slammed Kaitlyn and tagged Beth. They did a double team slam, and then Kaitlyn escaped to make a tag. AJ ran in a house of fire and went for a wheelbarrow, but Beth caught her and hit the Glam Slam for the win. Post-match, Beth tossed AJ from the ring and Natty put the sharpshooter on Kaitlyn…[C]

Shore's Slant: OK, we know they are bad asses. Let's move on to the actual story. This was treading water to get to Sunday. And the Divas of Destruction? Please tell me that's a joke.

Backstage, Teddy Long was talking with Zack Ryder. Rhodes and DiBiase walked up and thanked Zack for sanctioning his match with Zeke. Teddy said Zack had nothing to do with the match and dismissed them. Aksana walked up and made more passes at Teddy, even go far as to ask him why he was "Long." Teddy said he had to check his car and left; Aksana said she could drive a stick…A mark Henry hype video played…

Backstage, Johnny Curtis was shown getting ready. Mark Henry walked in and said it was a shame that Curtis's career had to end the night he debuted. Curtis looked confused and Henry said, "Oh, they didn't tell you?" He said Curtis's debut match was against him. He said he liked Curtis's vignette's and had one for him. He told him to go break a leg…

[Q4] Sin Cara made his ring entrance to a big pop…[C]

Shore's Slant: The Teddy Long thing is a retread right now. Spare me. I'm really interested what happens with Curtis and Henry though, that was a nice surprise. And you can tell that is a different person under the Sin Cara mask, but they're close enough to make it work.

3. Sin Cara defeated Tyson Kidd 2:56. Booker and Matthews tried to explain the different body by saying Sin Cara has been working out while out with broken ribs. Sin Cara hit a ton of high spots, including a springboard, reverse cross body to the floor. He hit a rolling senton followed by a springboard moonsault for the win…Del Rio and Bryan were shown heading toward the ring…[C]

Shore's Slant: Hm. How can I say this nicely? Hunico (the guy under the Sin Cara mask) may be good ultimately, but he sure isn’t Mistico (the guy who used to be Sin Cara). He's not as smooth in the ring, though the overall quality didn't really suffer. Not a great debut for Hunico in that spot, but passable.

Back from commercial, we had Ricardo Rodriguez's intro of Alberto Del Rio. Miss these two on Friday nights. Bryan was out next…

[Q5] 4. Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) defeated Daniel Bryan at 3:30. They started by trading moves back and forth, and then Del Rio went for the armbreaker. Bryan escaped and tossed Del Rio to the floor. He hit the dive and sold his arm hurting. They rolled back in the ring and Bryan missed the missile drop kick. Del Rio locked in the armbreaker and Bryan tapped. Post-match, Wade Barrett came down to the ring and hit a kick and Wasteland on Bryan…

Backstage, Christian was sitting in the locker room all by himself looking pitiful. The announce team hyped the main event and IC match…

Shore's Slant: Short match that made Del Rio look good heading into SummerSlam. He needed it, and Bryan didn't really lose anything. Matthews also said these two would face each other at SummerSlam so uh…breaking news?

5. Cody Rhodes (w/Ted DiBiase) defeated Ezekiel Jackson for the Intercontinental Championship at 7:36. Zeke attack at the bell and drove Cody to the floor…

[Q6][C] Back from commercial, Cody was in charge and stomping on Zeke. Rhodes went for a running bulldog and Jackson slung him across the ring. Wow. Zeke hit all the slams and lifted for the rack. Cody grabbed the rope and DiBiase hopped up on the apron. He dropped down without doing anything, and Cody hid several headbutts with the mask. Zeke ended up hitting Ted, but Cody hit the beautiful disaster kick and then ducked a clothesline to hit CrossRhodes for the win and his first singles title.

Post-match, Ted put a bag on Zeke's head. Zeke sat up and Cody took off while Ted played to the crowd. Zeke popped the mask off and killed DiBiase. He gorilla pressed Ted, and then just threw him to the floor in front of Cody. Cody looked scared and left with the belt…[C]

Shore's Slant: The post-match stuff was better than the match. Zeke just isn't very good. He's huge and all that, but he's slow and stiff. I like his character, though it needs help. Cody needs to take this belt and make it special again, and Zeke needs to keep working. Ted just proved he can bump with the best of them.

[Q7] The "NFL Films" hype video for Punk and Cena played. The announce team ran down the SummerSlam card, but did not mention Bryan vs. Barrett…Backstage, Randy Orton gave an interview and said Christian would be his outlet for his rage at SummerSlam…Henry made his ring entrance…[C]

6. Mark Henry squashed Johnny Curtis in 0:54. Curtis got in a few shots, but Henry just bounced him around and hit the World's Strongest Slam for the win. He dragged Curtis to the corner, but Sheamus made the save. Sheamus took a mic and said Henry was always running away from him. He called him Shamu and told him to get in the ring with the "Great White." Henry teased climbing in, but he grabbed Curtis instead and hit another World's Strongest Slam on the floor…Khali was show heading toward the ring with Jinder Mahal…

Shore's Slant: This has been the strangest Smackdown. It's like a highlight show instead of a homogenous build from start to finish. Odd for right before a PPV. Henry and Sheamus could steal the show at SummerSlam, but I'm tired of the teasing.

[Q8][C] 7. Randy Orton defeated The Great Khali (w/Jinder Mahal) at 4:32. Khali clubbed Orton and then dumped him to the floor. He slammed Orton around and Jinder yelled instructions. Khali hit the big chop for a near fall. Orton hit a dropkick to tie Khali in the ropes. He hit several kicks, and then knocked Jinder out. He hit a DDT and went for the RKO, but Khali grabbed his head. He set Orton in the corner for a chop, but Orton punched out and hit an RKO on Khali for the win.

Post-match, Christian's music hit and he came to the ramp. He was all smiles and said their match at SummerSlam was anything goes, and he had the best thing going. He said he couldn't wait for SummerSlam and that he would beat Orton there…

Shore's Slant: Let the Edge speculation begin. We know he's going to be at Axxess, but he has denied doing anything at the PPV. But speculate anyway. It's good for traffic! I'll have more tomorrow on this very lackluster Smackdown in the hitlist and member's exclusive audio. Thanks for reading and I'll see you then.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com or tweet me @theshoreslant with whatever is on your mind.

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