By Marv Hermanstyne

WWE Friday Night Smackdown on SyFy
Taped in Jacksonville, FL

[Q1] The show began with world champion Kane coming to the ring with a lot of heat. Kane said that two weeks ago, Edge took something that was more important than the world title, his father, Paul Bearer. Kane talked about how Edge tortured Paul Bearer with food and dodgeball. He said despite everything that is going on, he is still the world champion. Kane said that the abduction is unprecedented and unlawful. Kane said he is willing to not press charges and if he brings back Bearer, he promises not to destroy him. Kane said he is not a freak nor monster but he has feelings.

Mind of Marv: Feelings? Really? WTF?

Kane said that he is a human being and deep down inside, he is caring and he loves the holidays. He talked about loving the holidays and said that he wants his father back....

Edge came with an empty wheelchair. Edge asked how Kane was doing and he said that he loves the holidays. Edge said that Bearer is here and if you want him you can get him. Kane demanded for Bearer and Edge said that he doesn’t have manners. Kane asked without saying “Please “and Edge said that Kane didn’t ask him correctly. The crowd chanted on your knees...

Kane asked one more time and Edge said it was insincere and Edge said see ya later...

Mind of Marv: Dreadful segment that catered to kids with this “please” bullshit. I swear to God, this PG product is making me lose IQ points.

Kofi vs. Swagger in a KOTR qualifying match is next...[C]

Kofi Kingston came out to a huge pop and Swagger comes out with that stupid eagle...sigh.

[Q2] 1. Kofi Kingston defeated Jack Swagger in a King of the Ring qualifying match in 17:20. Both men locked up early in the matchup and Swagger got technical with a couple of takedown into a bridge for a nearfall. Kofi caught Swagger with a rollup for a nearfall. Kofi missed a dropkick and Swagger missed a catapult on Kofi and Kofi caught himself and hit a flying crossbody for a nearfall. Swagger hit an elbow and pressed his weight on Kofi.

Swagger hit a shoulderblock and Kofi botched a TIP attempt. Swagger applied the ankle lock, but Kofi countered out. Swagger applied pressure to Kofi’s ankle and Kofi kicked him off. [C]

The show returned with Kofi flipping Swagger and the stupid eagle being a distraction to Kofi by pulling his leg. Kofi kicked him off and Swagger took advantage. Swagger applied a body scissors to Kofi and Kofi countered out with elbows. Swagger kicked Kofi in the gut and stomped him in the midsection. Kofi’s head smashed into the hard camera. The stupid eagle continue to be a distraction when the referee wasn’t looking. Swagger applied a double arm scissors to Kofi and worked on him in the corner. Swagger kicked Kofi out of the ring and both men exchanged blows outside of the ring.

Swagger hit a clothesline for a nearfall. Swagger applied a full Nelson to Kofi in the middle of the ring and Kofi broke out. Kofi came back with punches to Swagger and hit all of his instant offense to get the crowd fired up.

[Q3] Kofi hit the Boom Drop to Swagger in the corner for a nearfall. Kofi went for a crossbody but Swagger caught him with powerslam. Swagger tried to press Kofi but Kofi hit a nice kick to Swagger. Kofi used his legs to toss Swagger into the ringpost. Kofi hit a sick ass Trouble In Paradise for the win...

Mind of Marv: Excellent TV match...if these qualifiers are like this match, this will be one hell of a show. These guys can work their asses off although, there was some botches and missed spots (mostly Kofi), this was still a quality match.

Backstage, Kane apologized to Teddy Long for destroying his office. Kane asked Long about his father and Long went on a tangent. Edge had Bearer tied up and told Kane that Mother Nature is calling because he had Bearer for two weeks. Edge took the tape off and Bearer went on a tangent about how everyone didn’t deserve fathers and they should be all bastards. Edge rolled Bearer around the arena...[C]

Kane was looking for his father and in the bathroom, it was the empty wheelchair and a sign that said “Gone Fishin”...

Backstage, Josh Mathews interviewed Alberto Del Rio and Del Rio said that he learned a huge lesson. He said that he will not share the same spotlight as the Big Show and next week on Raw, he will be King Alberto Del Rio...[C]

[Q4] 2. Alberto Del Rio defeated Big Show by countout in a King of the Ring qualifier in 8:10. Del Rio wasted time by talking to Show and Show toyed with him by pushing him out of the ring. [C]

The show returned trying to apply a waistlock to Big Show, but Show broke out and chopped Del Rio’s chest in the corner. Show continued to dominate Del Rio by pressing all his weight on him. Del Rio hit a jawbreaker to Show and hit some punches. Show went for a chokeslam but Del Rio countered with some kicks to Show’s knees. Show clotheslined Del Rio twice and Del Rio countered with a running enzinguri.

Show went for the knockout punch but Del Rio slid out of the ring and got chopped outside of the ring. Ricardo Rodriguez distracted Show and Show knocked him out. Show got counted out as a result...

Mind of Marv: This match sucked because Big Show is so limited and Del Rio is still somewhat green in the ring. The cheap finish does nothing for me and its hard to take him seriously in this KOTR tournament.

Edge said to cut Del Rio’s music and got everyone’s attention. Edge talked about the holidays and said that the holidays is all about bonding and conversing. Edge called Kane out and Bearer screamed out for him. Kane came out and asked “How Dare you”? Edge threatened to push Bearer over the stairs and Kane called him a monster. Edge said he will ask the crowd what he should do with Paul. Bearer said he hated everyone...

[Q5] Edge asked if he should give Bearer back to Kane or shove him down the stairs. Kane came him another title shot and asked Kane if he is satisfied? Edge said it was great and he will take Bearer to the hot dog stand. Kane chased after Edge and Bearer and he saw another empty wheelchair. Kane looked pissed...

Mind of Marv: This angle is getting boring. It was OK at first, but this is clearly WWE’s version of Tom and Jerry...

3. Drew McIntyre beat MVP in a King of the Ring qualifier in 5:20. The started back and forth with both men attacking each other in the corner. MVP hit a drop toe hold and hit a knee to the back of Drew’s head for a nearfall. MVP tossed Drew outside of the ring. Drew stomped MVP forearm on the ringsteps. Drew slammed MVP’s arm into the ringsteps for a nearfall. Drew applied an armbar to MVP and continued to work on MVP’s arm.

Drew tried to stomp MVP head into the ring steps, but MVP tripped Drew outside of the ring. MVP hit his instant offense and the Ballin’ Elbow. MVP went for the PlayMaker but Drew countered with Future Shock DDT for the win...

Mind of Marv: Average match at best. Shouldn’t this guy be buried because his wife got canned? What money is in McIntyre for the future? Meanwhile, MVP does another job...sigh.

[Q6] Jack Swagger was punking out his Eagle for making him lose his match earlier. Rosa Mendes brought a burnt ass turkey out and Hornswoggle was dissapointed. Horny saw the eagle looking depressed and he got an idea. Hornswoggle took out a bowing arrow and shot the Soaring Eagle and he took his knife and fork to eat him.

Mind of Marv: For once, I commend Hornswoggle because I wanted that stupid ass eagle gone! I got my wish and I’m “thankful” for this demise....

LayCool came out and bitched about losing their Diva’s title and the annoying act went along until the hometown girl, Kelly Kelly came out to the hometown pop.

4. Kelly Kelly upset Michelle McCool in 1:05. McCool hit a belly to belly suplex to Kelly for a nearfall. McCool toyed with Kelly and went for Faith Breaker but Kelly grabbed the ropes. Kelly got the rollup for the upset victory. Post match, LayCool beat on Kelly until Beth Phoenix came out for the save and made McCool eat a Glam Slam...

Mind of Marv: McCool does a job??? I’m living the Champagne Life!!!! Let’s toast it up!

The “Dashing One” vs. Mysterio is the main event and final KOTR qualifying match...[C] [Q7]

The John Cena goodbye speech was shown...

Mind of Marv: Why couldn’t this be a REAL retirement speech? If you are my friend on Facebook, you knew how I felt when I had to endure this bullshit.

The Raw Rebound was shown with The Miz cashing in to become the NEW WWE Champion...

Mind of Marv: I did a complete 180 when this occurred and will admit that I marked out! This was EPIC WIN TV!

The KOTR qualifiers were shown and Mysterio made his entrance. He will face Rhodes in the last qualifying match, next...[C]

Rhodes came out and gave Striker a T-Shirt. Del Rio came out to the ring for commnetary...

[Q8] 5. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes beat Rey Mysterio in a King of the Ring qualifier in 8:20. Cody got the early advantage but Rey came back with kicks. Rey tried to hit Cody in the face, but Cody waved off. Cody hit the Alabama Slam to Rey for a nearfall. [C]

The show returned with Cody applying a neck scissors to Rey and hit a nice kick to Rey for a nearfall. Cody threw Rey back in the ring for a nearfall. Rey headbutted Cody, hit a seated senton to a crossbody for a nearfall. Both men exchanged rollups for nearfalls. Rey kicked the crap out of Cody’s head for a nearfall. Rey went for the 619 but Del Rio distracted him. Rey hit a senton on Del Rio outside of the ring. Del Rio pulled Rey into the ring post and Cody hit the Cross Rhodes for the win...

Mind of Marv: This was not main event worthy, but this was a good match while it lasted. The “Dashing” One could be a wildcard to win this KOTR tournament since they have a lot of confidence in this gimmick of his...



Backstage, Kane threatened Teddy Long in his office and Edge was on the TV. Edge told Kane to get some fresh air and he said that he will give him Bearer back before an accident happens. Kane ran out to get Bearer and he saw the wheelchair. Kane ran to the wheelchair and Edge struck the wheelchair with a car. Kane was stunned, but it was a dummy in the wheelchair.

Edge had Bearer tied up in the car and said OOPS! Kane had a tantrum and threw everything that was around him to close the show.

Mind of Marv: If this angle couldn’t get anymore stupid. The camera angle made it so obvious that it was a dummy that was hit. But I watched enough WWE to understand this stupid ass storyline. Overall, this was a good show (wrestling wise) and for one time only, Hornswoggle got a chuckle out of me but its still campy bullshit.

Chris Shore will have the Smackdown Hitlist tomorrow and he will have member exclusive audio of tonight’s show sometime this weekend. If I’m up it, I may have a KOTR confidence column sometime on Monday. Any feedback should be forwarded to dotnetmarv@gmail.com and I'll see you next week.

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