By Chris Shore

Superstars on WGN America
Taped in Hersey, Pa and Richmond, Virginia.

[Q1] The opening video aired, followed by the pyro, and Matt Striker and Todd Grisham welcomed us to Superstars. JTG made his ring entrance, followed by Chavo Guerrero…

1. Chavo Guerrero defeated JTG at 5:32. JTG kept his glasses on at first and Chavo complained. JTG put the glasses on the ref and kicked Chavo. Chavo tried several moves and JTG punked him. He hit a drop kick that sent Chavo to the floor. Chavo climbed back in the ring and hit a dropkick to the knee to take control.

JTG battled back and hit Roll the Bones for two. Chavo came back with a spinning heel kick and two of the Three Amigos. JTG blocked the last and Chavo hit a back elbow. He went to the top and pointed to the sky. JTG ran up and they battled. Chavo dropped down and hit a hangman and then finally hit the frog splash for the win…

A Wrestlemania hype video played…The announce team hyped the Divas tag team main event…[C]

Shore’s Slant: JTG still sucks. Glad Chavo got the win this week. It was five years ago this past Saturday that the world of professional wrestling lost one of the greats. Glad to see Chavo is still around and….WAIT A DAMN MINUTE! The Divas are the main event? Oh my.

[Q2] Curt Hawkins made his new ring entrance. Trent Baretta was out next. Wow, this is terrible…

2. Trent Baretta defeated Curt Hawkins at 4:55. Hawkins hit a shoulder tackle and they ran the ropes. Baretta hit a flying elbow and covered for two. He tried for a flying kick and Hawkins ducked. Baretta crashed to the floor and Baretta attacked the back. Baretta reversed a rest hold into a belly to back and worked his offense. He hit a springboard dropkick to the back for two. Hawkins fought back and went to the top. Baretta ran up and hit a hurricanranna. He botched a Sliced Bread/Springboard DDT combo for the win…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Hold up. The Dudebuster won? GTFO. Well this has been an interesting show.

Back from commercial, CM Punk made his entrance and joined Scott Stamford on commentary. Yoshi Tatsu made his entrance. Primo and AJ were out next…

3. Yoshi Tatsu defeated Primo (w/AJ) at 8:19. Punk immediately started complaining about the “conditions” he had to deal with. He quizzed Scott on his credentials and then demanded Scott call him Mr. Punk. In the ring, Yoshi hit several kicks and then a flying kick that spilled Primo to the floor…[C]

[Q3] Back at 5:23, Primo worked a rest hold on Tatsu as a video showed Primo hitting a stiff lariat during the break. Primo dropped Tatsu into a 619 setup and dove on his back and slid to the rope right in front of the announcers. Punk and Primo high fived each other. Primo set Tatsu on the top rope and they battled. Tatsu knocked Primo down and hit a spinning heel kick off the top for the win…The announce team hyped the main event…[C]

Shore’s Slant: That match started rough. A ton of botches and weak looking spots. But they recovered nicely after the break. It ended up being a decent match. CM Punk is going to be distracting during the Divas match. They can’t wrestle and he’s unbelievable on color.

Back from commercial, the witty banter between Stamford and Punk continued and they setup a video that recapped John Cena’s current situation with Nexus…which also happened to hype his DVD…

[Q4] Melina made her ring entrance…

4. Melina and Gail Kim defeated Alicia Fox and Maryse at 4:50. Melina and Fox started. Kim tagged in and Punk and Stamford went at each other again. They distracted me and Gail Kim hit a hurricanranna on Fox on the floor but got crushed by Maryse when she climbed back in the ring. Stamford asked Punk if he joined the SES could he still eat Cocoa Pops. Unreal.

Maryse and Fox worked in and out on Kim. Kim reversed a clothesline attempt by Fox into a neckbreaker. Both women got tags and Melina botched three moves as Stanford said Bret Hart told him Melina was one of the best wrestlers he had ever seen. Fantastic. Kim took out Fox and Melina scored a roll-up win on Maryse…

Shore’s Slant: Wow. Was that the worst Superstars ever? I think it might have been. Punk on commentary was great, but he really distracted from the in-ring action. Not that I was missing much. This whole show was terrible, that’s for sure. I’ll have more to say tomorrow on the hitlist. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you then.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com with whatever is on your mind.

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