By Rich Twilling

WWE NXT on WWE.com
Taped earlier tonight in Manchester, England

[Q1] Footage was shown of Aksana slapping the shit out of Goldust last week during their wedding. Before that happened though, two WWE Hall of Famers appeared. I guess Aksana is either a gold digger or she didn't want to marry her dad...

The opening video aired and fireworks lit up the stage. Michael Cole vibrantly welcomed us to his favorite gig of the week. Matt Striker was in the ring. He was going to bring out the rookies but Goldust came out from the back instead...

Twill's Two Cents: He wasn't sitting on the stage with the rest of the Pros, but nobody was smart enough to pick up on that.

Goldust wanted an explanation and demanded his whore wife come out to the ring. She came out to the stage and attempted to speak some English. She said he helped her and now she can stay in the United States. She said she got half of the million dollar belt in the divorce...

Twill's Two Cents: What the f---? She gets half of something that doesn't even belong to them in the first place?

Goldust got his cheap pop from the crowd by saying the name of the city they were in. "Hold up!" Naomi came out because she didn't want Aksana gone like Goldust did. Aksana said if she was sent back, she would be beaten with shovels...

Twill's Two Cents: Beat Aksana with shovels? Now that should be the next competition.

Naomi challenged Aksana to a match and she asked Goldust for advice. He said she should get her ass kicked tonight. Naomi and Aksana stood tits to tits looking at each other menacingly... [C]

Twill's Two Cents: Aksana made Matt Hardy's first promo back after the Lita/Edge situation look like Ric Flair's best work.

The women stood in the ring with an arm wrestling platform. There are four of them. It is single elimination. Riveting. Aksana beat A.J. Cole was shown sleeping in his announce chair.

Twill's Two Cents: I'm not far off from falling asleep as well.

Kaitlyn beat Naomi. From behind, Kaitlyn looked like a dude. Aksana grabbed Kaitlyn's trucker hat and was disqualified. So, the title did not change hands. Cole asked what he missed. Mathews said nothing... [C]

Twill's Two Cents: It's only 7:15 right now? Seriously?

[Q2] ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

1. A.J. (with Primo) defeated Nikki Bella (with Brie Bella) in 4:36. Nikki hit a snap suplex. I just called more of the match than the announcers. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

There was a computer announcement on the PA in the arena that said the system had been updated. "We're not the only ones bored with this," said Cole. Cole said an "A.J." chant was breaking out. "It was one person," said Mathews. A.J. school-girled Nikki for the win when Brie would not switch with Nikki...

Twill's Two Cents: The action was decent, but damn, could anyone care less?

There was a new "Stand Up for WWE" video. As ridiculous as these are, this was by far the best thing on this show...

Naomi vs. Aksana was hyped as tonight's main event. I can't wait (for this show to be over). Back to sleep... [C]

[Q3] The next contest was random pictures of WWE wrestlers when they were younger. A.J. won the competition. Cole said the show was horrible... [C]

Footage was shown of A.J. and Primo trying to talk last week and instead, they ran into Kaitlyn making out with Dolph Ziggler. Vickie then ate (not literally) the wedding cake. She took the cake... in the face. Okay, that's enough.

Vickie pinned Kaitlyn in a match last Friday on Smackdown. Vickie approached Kaitlyn and told her Dolph was done with her. Kaitlyn said she was not the woman Vickie was, because her ass was so big. "They should have had a smaller girl telling her that," said the person watching the show with me.

Naomi and Kelly Kelly made their entrance... [C]

Aksana came out to the NXT music. Goldust came out right after her and stood with Kelly in Naomi's corner...

Twill's Two Cents: Divorce and deportation, please.

[Q4] 2. Naomi (with Goldust and Kelly Kelly) defeated Aksana in 5:24. Aksana actually locked in a half crab. She then hit that Ted DiBiase closeline.

Twill's Two Cents: By the way, if Ted really wanted his belt back, why didn't he show up tonight and take it?

Naomi hit a spinning ass kick for a one count. Aksana came back with a reverse neck breaker for a two count. Naomi grabbed the win with a reverse leg lariat type of kick. "Do your job as a husband!" Cole yelled to Goldust...

Twill's Two Cents: Aksana isn't bad in the ring. Naomi is athletic. There, I just said two positive things about this show. Three more weeks. Three weeks baby!

Goldust was shown looking over Aksana as she looked up at him in despair... [C]

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