WWE TV Reports 5/19 Twilling's WWE Raw Live Coverage: Chris Jericho vs. Batista, Piper's Pit, Regal, Kennedy By Rich Twilling May 19, 2008 - 10:01 PM Email This Article | Printer Friendly Page Send Us News & Results | Back to Main Listing WWE Raw on the USA Network Live in Kansas City, MO [Q1] The opening video aired. Fireworks lit up the stage. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler welcomed us to the show. JR immediately plugged Chris Jericho vs. Batista… 1.Jeff Hardy and Umaga fought to a double countout in 5:45. Immediate Hardy chants broke out. Umaga came right at Hardy, taking the advantage with punches. Hardy hit a dropkick to a seated Umaga for a one count. Umaga hit the releasing Samoan Drop before slowing down the pace with a nerve hold. Umaga hit a headbutt on Hardy while he was in the tree of woe. Umaga missed a middle rope headbutt. Hardy tried the Twist of Fate, but Umaga pushed him into the corner. In one motion, Hardy tried the Whisper in the Wind, but missed. Umaga set Hardy up in the corner for the buttsplash. He missed. Hardy was able to ground Umaga, springboarding off of him into a dropkick. With Umaga on the outside, Hardy hit a somersault plancha. Umaga charged at Hardy in front of the steel steps but Hardy moved. Hardy ran the rail and jumped into Umaga’s arms. Umaga hit a swinging sideslam. The referee reached the ten count and both men were counted out… After the match, Umaga celebrated up the aisle as referees tended to Hardy… Twill’s Two Cents: This was a good six minute match. For some unexplainable reason, Umaga is a forgotten man right now when he should be in semi-main events. The double countout with Hardy being laid out might be punishment, but it also might continue this feud. Backstage, Batista approached Chris Jericho and told him no one was going to stand in his way as he went after Shawn Michaels. Jericho stood his ground and mockingly said he would forfeit the match, before saying he would beat the hell out of Batista tonight. Both men stared each other down with confident grins… [C] [Q2] Back from commercial, the announcers thanked those of us who watched the PPV. With the lights out and then slowly turning on, Lillian Garcia introduced William Regal. Regal said One Night Stand was in two weeks and every match would be an Extreme Rules match. He booked Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy in a Falls Count Anywhere match. Regal addressed JBL and Randy Orton on the Titantron. He told them they would be teaming tonight against Triple H and John Cena. If they won, they would both get rematches at One Night Stand in matches of their choice. If Triple H and Cena win, they will face each other in an Extreme Rules Match chosen by Regal. Kennedy’s music hit. He asked Regal once again if he wanted to go one on one tonight. Regal said Kennedy was not his equal. He said the next person to interrupt him would be fired on the spot. Twill’s Two Cents: Cue Vince’s music. Suddenly, Vince McMahon’s music hit and he came out to the ring. Kennedy egged on Regal telling him to fire Vince. Vince told Regal they have received more complaints than ever since he endorsed Regal as General Manager. He said money matters. When Regal comes on the screen, the ratings go down. When he is not on camera, the ratings go up. McMahon said he and Regal wanted Kennedy gone. The viewers want Regal gone. So, in the interest of fairness, McMahon booked Regal vs. Kennedy for tonight. The loser would be fired… [C] Twill’s Two Cents: What is up with the hotshot booking? Jeff Hardy vs. MVP last night, the tag team main event tonight, and this match; matches like these should be advertised in advance. I am curious to see where they go here because we were all expecting a long Regal vs. Kennedy program. Personally, I do not want Regal going anywhere. Back from commercial, the slam of the week featured the Women’s Championship match from Judgment Day and the amazing double backbreaker spot… [Q3] Melina’s music hit and she came down to the broadcast table. She did her splits spot on the table as JR patted himself down with his handkerchief… 2. Beth Phoenix defeated Maria in 2:09. Melina said she was asked to do Playboy but she is not that type of girl. Twill’s Two Cents: True, she is not that type of girl. She is not hot enough to be in Playboy. As Beth overpowered Maria, Melina put herself over by putting Beth down. Maria was able to land some offense. Beth hit the “Glam Slam,” before locking in a sitting double underhook submission, sort of a sitting surfboard. Maria gave up… After the match, Melina ran up the ramp after Beth and attacked her. Beth flipped Melina up over her back by the hair and left her laying again… JR and King plugged tonight’s huge main events. They certainly loaded up this show… [C] Twill’s Two Cents: Here come the emails asking how I could think Melina is not hot. I don’t know; she has huge, crooked teeth for starters. Anyway, they are keeping her in a program with Beth as both of them are still after Mickie. Throw in a couple of Smackdown divas and the Women’s Championship program looks very strong. For the first time tonight, JR and King plugged Piper’s Pit. They showed highlights of the Jimmy Kimmel Show. Piper was at Hooter’s to celebrate Jimmy’s cousin Sal’s birthday. Santino showed up. They exchanged slaps. Sal threw his cake into Santino and they rolled around the floor. Jimmy Kimmel wondered what was going on… Twill’s Two Cents: That was not exactly Andy Kaufman vs. Jerry Lawler on the David Letterman Show. Mickie James and Katie Lea were talking backstage. Mickie was looking ridiculously hot. Katie told Mickie she would soon be Women’s Champion and hold the belt with more class than Mickie. She accused Mickie of sleeping her way to the top, referring to her date with John Cena. Katie said if Cena came out with her and Paul Burchill, he would have way more than a little fun… Twill’s Two Cents: Those wondering if Katie would be wrestling soon probably got their question answered. On a side note, anyone would be a complete freak to get involved in a three way with a hot broad and her brother. Could Mickie be turning heel? Shawn Michaels approached William Regal. Regal told him the winner of tonight’s match between Jericho and Batista would face him at Judgment Day in a Stretcher Match… [C] [Q4] Back from commercial, footage of WWE receiving the “Corporate Patriot” Award, which is an award for a company that entertains the troops. Ric Flair accepted the award for WWE. Cliff Claven from Cheers was interviewed. Great segment… 3. Batista defeated Chris Jericho in a non-title match in 13:22 to go onto One Night Stand to face Shawn Michaels. JR and King said Batista should have an advantage since Jericho wrestled last night and Batista did not. Upon the bell ringing, Jericho immediately attacked Batista, knocking him into the corner. Batista overpowered Jericho with an elevated face drop, big side elbow, and multiple charging attacks into the corner. Jericho’s knee went out during an irish whip. We know where this is going. Jericho struggled to the outside as Batista looked on with doubts… [C] Back from commercial, an ECW commercial aired promoting Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston. If Shelton is the gold standard, then most everyone else is platinum… Back in the ring, Batista continued to work on Jericho. Batista charged at Jericho, who pulled down the top rope, causing Batista to fall to the floor and hurt his knee. Ugh. Jericho kicked at Batista’s legs. After a chopblock, he locked in a single leg lock. JR said this match was not about the Intercontinental Championship. When was the last time a match was about that title? In the ring, Batista hit a big boot to the face but fell to mat grabbing his knee. Batista hit a spinebuster at 9:22. [Q5] Batista went for the Batista Bomb, but Jericho reversed into first the Walls of Jericho, but he elected to go with a single leg Boston Crab instead. Batista could not get to the ropes. He stayed in the hold for over a minute before finally getting to the ropes. Batista tried to come back, but Jericho chopblocked him. Jericho missed the Lionsault. Batista tried the Batista Bomb, but Jericho grabbed the ropes. He went to the top and was met with an awkward closeline as he came down. Batista scored a nearfall. Conflicting chants for both wrestlers took place in the crowd. Jericho tried to hit the Codebreaker but Batista held onto to Jericho was able to hit the Batista Bomb for the win… Twill’s Two Cents: Surprisingly, these two worked well together. That was a very good TV match. I do not like all of the knee injuries though. It was like when Randy Orton was giving everyone concussions; if it were that easy, why not do it all of the time? After the match, Michaels came out onto the stage and stared a hole through Batista, who stared right back. The tag team main event was plugged, as well as Piper’s Pit… [C] Back from commercial, Vince McMahon spoke with William Regal backstage. Vince was about to explain why he booked tonight’s match when The Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase came in. Vince wanted to discuss business with Dibiase. Twill’s Two Cents: Maybe he wants to discuss why he did not put the title on him back in 1988. Or maybe he wants to talk to him about being the GM. Or that is what they want you to think. Santino Marella came out dressed as Roddy Piper. Marella said he defeated a transvestite at Wrestlemania III in his retirement match. They showed the birthday footage again. It was not interesting the first time. This time, I noticed the Hooter’s girls could have been hotter. [Q6] Santino talked about Jimmy Kimmel and his “f*cking Ben Affleck” video. If you get a chance, watch the “I’m f*cking Matt Damon” video. It is hilarious. Santino brought Jimmy’s cousin Sal out to the ring. Santino asked Sal what he liked about Roddy Piper. He said he loved Piper because he backed up everything he said, unlike Santino. Santino said he would be a tag team champion. Santino said he was working on it. Santino said he would beat up Steve Austin. Santino called it a draw. Finally, he said he could not have slept with Maria because she said he was hung like a fourth grader. Santino said fourth graders are developing faster now. Santino had a cake that said, “I’m sorry.” He was going to throw it into Sal’s face. Piper snuck up behind Santino. Once he realized it, Sal threw the cake in Santino’s face. Piper threw him out of the ring. Santino said he wanted a match with Sal. Piper said his pal Sal would face Santino… Twill’s Two Cents: The fourth grader stuff was creepy. How would Maria know? Is that how they are marketing to children? At least Santino vs. Piper would include a legend. Santino vs. Sal? What kind of crap is that? Is it just me, or is Santino losing the humor that made him such a popular character in the first place? Kennedy was on his way to the ring… [C] Back from commercial, Lance Cade turned on Trevor Murdoch last week. JR said what Cade did would be an assault on the street… Twill’s Two Cents: Assault, sexual harassment, child endangerment, yes, I am pretty sure the entire show would break a lot of laws if it were on the streets. 4. Mr. Kennedy defeated William Regal in a “Loser Gets Fired” match in 6:03. Kennedy worked his catchphrase into an average at best pre-match promo. For someone who has barely been an active competitor lately, Regal has had a lot of theme songs. From a slow start early, it picked up at :30 with Kennedy hitting a huge back bodydrop. Regal rolled to the floor. Kennedy went after him and Regal kicked Kennedy in the head. [Q7] Back in the ring, Regal delivered multiple knees to a standing Kennedy. Regal hit a one handed overhead suplex. He locked in a modified Regal Stretch, with Kennedy on his knees. Kennedy took over. He hit a bunch of punches. He missed a crescent kick, but in the same motion hit a spinning front kick. Cool spot. Kennedy’s punches look very uncoordinated and awkward. Both men went to the floor. Regal grabbed the microphone and made the match a no disqualification match. Regal threw Kennedy into the steps as he put on brass knuckles. He held onto the microphone. He went for the brass knuckle punch, but Kennedy kicked Regal in the nuts and hit the Mic Check for the win… After the match, Kennedy celebrated up the ramp as Regal looked disgusted in the ring. I hope we are not going to see him join Mr. McMahon’s “Kiss My Ass Club” again. Regal picked up the brass knuckles. The fans chanted “USA” at Regal. A couple of punk kids could be heard yelling, “Regal sucks.” Regal retreated to the back… [C] Twill’s Two Cents: I love the way Regal works. He is so calculated and physical. I hope they swerve us here because I think Regal could be/should be in main events. I used to think Kennedy was a lock as a future main eventer, but I just do not see it anymore. Back from commercial, Regal was knocking on his own office door. Presumably, Vince McMahon was in there. Teddy Long came out. He asked “What’s up playa?” and did his best impression of George Jefferson walking… Todd Grisham interviewed Triple H. H said he and John Cena are not the best of friends. I guess he read that on Dot Net. He said there are a lot of changes, but he is the one constant… Twill’s Two Cents: Changes? It was like the creative team took last night off. [Q8] 5. Randy Orton and JBL defeated Triple H and John Cena in 9:35. Orton came to the ring looking comatose. His music sort of does that to you. It is better than his old theme, but it is very slow, sort of like one his promos. I like how JBL walks all the way to his limousine, gets in, gets driven four feet, gets out, and walks to the ring… [C] When Cena came out, he received a huge pop. Then the middle aged men realized their wives would rather sleep with Cena than them, so they started to boo. They cheered for Triple H because if they could sleep their way to the top, they would, so H is a pioneer and hero to them. They did the cool water spitting spot where Orton was standing in the background of the shot. WWE Magazine, according to JR, asks whether or not Triple H will have more title reigns than Ric Flair when he hangs up his boots… JBL is fat. Even Rikishi makes fun of his ass. Orton started with Cena. Orton had an early advantage in the corner, but Cena hit an irish whip and bulldog before tagging in Triple H. Triple H hit knees on both opponents. He threw Orton into the ropes and Cena pulled down the top rope, causing Orton to crash to the floor… [C] [Overrun] JBL was covering Triple H as we came back from commercial. JBL locked in a modified Million Dollar Dream. H pushed JBL back into his own corner. Orton tagged in. Orton hit punches and kicks to a nearly defenseless WWE Champion in the corner. H turned the tide when Orton went for a dropkick, but H held onto the ropes. Cena got the hot tag and hit all of his signature moves on Orton. He set up for the FU, but JBL came in and attacked Cena. Orton went for the RKO, but Cena had him up for the FU. JBL hit Cena with a huge boot, causing the first legit nearfall. Off of an irish whip, Cena and Orton hit head to head. Both men received tags. H got the best of JBL. He hit the facebuster to the knee, followed by a reverse neckbreaker. JBL went for the Closeline from Hell, but Triple H countered it with a spinebuster. All hell broke loose. The referee put blinders on because Triple H, the legal man, was busy with Randy Orton. John Cena locked in the STFU on JBL, the legal man. JR even pointed out Cena could not win the match. Orton, attempting the punt kick on Triple H, hit Cena instead. JBL pinned Cena… After the match, Triple H took the CFH and the RKO. JBL told Cena it would be the two of them in a First Blood match. Orton said he would win the title back the same way he won it from Triple H, in a Last Man Standing match. JBL and Orton retreated up the ramp as Cena and Triple H laid nearly dead in the ring… Twill’s Two Cents: Everything old is new again, I guess. First of all, Cena losing the match despite not being the legal man, was just bad, especially since JR brought it up. I do not necessarily mind seeing these matches again, but I do mind the multiple gimmick matches at the PPV. Just like the TNA Lockdown PPV, having all of these gimmick matches just to have them waters them down and renders them unimportant in the future. Tonight’s show had some PPV quality matches (on paper). Did the show meet or exceed your expectations, or were you disappointed? Email me and let me know. Rich Twilling can be reached at dotnetrich@gmail.com. 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