By Rich Twilling

WWE NXT on the Syfy Network
Taped earlier tonight in Bloomington, Ill.

[Q1] Footage aired of last week's obstacle course, Vickie Guerrero going crazy after falling down, and Kaitlyn winning the competition. Michael Cole's anti NXT comments rang out throughout the video. It culminated with Cole walking off the show...

The opening video aired and fireworks lit up the stage. Josh Mathews welcomed us to the show. He was joined by an empty chair. C.M. Punk's music hit. He came out in his ring gear with a suit jacket over it...

Twill's Two Cents: I was aware of this and did not want to spoil the surprise. This instantly became watchable because Punk should bring a lot to the hour.

Punk joined Mathews at the announce booth. Punk said he loves NXT season three and he loves women. Punk sent it to his good buddy, Matt Striker, who introduced the rookies. They headed out to the ring...

Striker put over Jamie and Kaitlyn for winning competitions last week. Before that, Punk mistook Jamie for Kaval. "Didn't she win NXT season two?" Nice...

Vickie Guerrero annoying interrupted the proceedings. She said she was impressed with Kaitlyn, but she only succeeded because of Vickie's leadership. She said Kaitlyn would face Jamie tonight, and she introduced LayCool to help coach Kaitlyn...

Twill's Two Cents: LayCool on all three shows this week? What did we do to get so lucky? Son of an ass. Are you serious?

LayCool put down every rookie and in the process, killed the show. I didn't realize you could get deader than dead. Kelly came out to the ring and challenged LayCool and Kaitlyn to match against her, Naomi, and Jamie. LayCool accepted.

Twill's Two Cents: Both Kelly's and Vickie's shirts were being held together by just two buttons. Talk about feast or famine if those things snap off.

Striker said the first competition would take place after the break... [C]

[Q2] Tell me this isn't musical chairs...

Twill's Two Cents: Can't do that. It's musical chairs.

A.J. is wearing Chuck Taylor hooker boots. Very cool. Kaitlyn was the first one eliminated. Punk made reference to the eight fans that booed this. Jamie was next to go. By the way, they are playing circus music. Appropriate.

Maxine went out next and attacked Aksana. Didn't last long. Aksana was out next, leaving A.J. and Naomi. They sort of tied but I guess A.J. "sat first," so she wins. "The controversy is through the roof on NXT season three," said Punk...

Twill's Two Cents: If A.J. ever has a musical chairs match for the Divas Championship, she is a lock to win the belt(s).

Maxine vs. A.J. was hyped... [C]

Mathews and Punk welcomed us back to the show. Josh talked about Punk's wardrobe. Punk said Mathews gave the him the jacket...

Aksana's video package was up next. She said she did not know English when she first came to this country...

Twill's Two Cents: It's not much better. I think I heard, "I love entertainment (she wanted to say 'entertaining') people." I'm busting ovaries. She's doing just fine. Not so much. Somewhere in between.

Backstage, Goldust approached Aksana. Aksana said she could get deported because her work VISA is all screwed up. Goldust said they would figure it out and fix it...

Twill's Two Cents: Hmmm, Goldust in a wedding dress again? I guess Aksana could call Angelina Love for advice, but that wouldn't be nearly as fun.

Punk said subtitles would have been nice. That could be a gimmick. Someone gives a broken English promo and every time they do, they have subtitles underneath them. Similar to Kaientai, I know...

Hell in a Cell hype was played. John Cena vs. Wade Barrett. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus. Santino Marella vs. Tamina. Okay, not that third one...

[Q3] Footage aired of last night's Raw. They ran down the two deep card. Mathews said, "Orton vs. C.M. Punk." That would work for me...

Alicia Fox and Maxine made their entrance... [C]

Punk said he was the only one out there not wearing makeup. He also knows his Girl Scout cookies. He prefers Samoans to Thin Mints...

1. A.J. (with Primo) defeated Maxine (with Alicia Fox) in 2:28. Maxine did something and Punk said, "Vintage Maxine right there. Vintage Maxine." Sweet. A.J. hit a couple of nice closelines. She then won the match...

Michael Cole came out from the back. Cole said the fans were in the minority and most people wanted him back. He had an epiphany and said NXT was unwatchable without him. Punk applauded as Cole retook his seat at the announce table.

Punk said, "I'm glad to have you back. This show is bad with or without you by the way." Cole said he was returning to NXT. Punk hugged Cole. Cole then hugged Mathews too. Punk stayed though, and now we have two out of three announcers shitting on this show... [C]

Twill's Two Cents: The best stuff on this season of NXT involves the announce booth. I'm not a Vickie fan and Goldust hasn't done anything. Oh, by the way, A.J. could be a likable babyface. She has a cute quality about her. Kaitlyn was supposed to have that, but I think Kaitlyn can turn into a heel bitch type.

[Q4] Time for the second challenge. Random topics. Random crap gets said...

Twill's Two Cents: Lovely.

Jamie's topic was "teeth." She said nobody wanted to hear her talk about teeth. Punk said, "Nobody wants to hear you talk at all." She gave a decent promo, but it was the same old stuff. "Is my gong out here?" asked Cole...

Twill's Two Cents: Even Striker is laughing at Punk now. Cole's gong line was awesome.

Naomi's topic was "toupee." She kept repeating it. "I hope she knows what it means," said Cole. Naomi wanted to have a match and had nothing to say about toupees. She was disqualified for being off topic. Punk said, "Disqualify Janice too." He meant Jamie, but Janice works for me.

A.J.'s topic was caffeine. She bounces everywhere and doesn't need a natural high. Wait, doesn't need a natural high? She is natural dynamite baby. Punk said he needed some "natural dynamite in life."

Twill's Two Cents: A.J. "wins" the unmentioned "C.M. Punk Invitational."

Aksana had no idea what a llama or camel was. "I thought she had it," said Punk. This is laugh out loud funny. Maxine's topic was "foot." She said she would use her foot to squash A.J. until she taps out. "That was horrendous," said Cole. "Better than the other three," replied Punk.

Twill's Two Cents: At least she stayed on topic.

Kaitlyn said she was told to picture everyone in their underwear. Punk will most likely see her in her underwear later. "It's funny; I'm actually not wearing pants and that's how I watch NXT every week," said Punk. Just awesome.

A.J. won. I don't even have to wait for the results. The announcers actually congratulated her. Oh, we have a match coming up, right at the top of the hour... [C]

Twill's Two Cents: I bet Cole and Punk are having the time of their announcing lives. Punk will have more fun later. I'm sure they are free to say what they want and both of them are hilarious.

Back from commercial, Punk was blowing a bubble. "This is the greatest night of my life... What more can you ask for?" ...

[Overrun] 2. Kelly Kelly, Naomi, and Jamie defeated Layla, Michelle McCool, and Kaitlyn (with Vickie Guerrero) in 3:29. Layla mocked Jamie. Doesn't she know we are in the overrun. She posed and danced. "That's Josh in his hotel mirror every morning."

Kaitlyn hit a badass spear. She followed with an elbow drop that screwed the pooch. Michelle tagged in and beat on "Nadine" in the corner. Naomi looked impressive but Michelle hit a belly to belly on her. She tagged in Kaitlyn, who was horribly rolled up by Naomi for the win...

Afterward, Michelle kicked Kaitlyn in the mouth after Kaitlyn shoved her. "I wonder if that ever happened while she was bartending." Nice. Vickie screamed at her. LayCool and Vickie walked to the back...

Punk said he would be back next week. "For Michael Cole, I'm C.M. Punk; see you next week. Shut up Josh." ...

Twill's Two Cents: I can't believe what I just saw and I'm glad it went down that way. Cole taking a dump on this show last week was good. Punk doing the same thing in smartass fashion this week was epic. I have to cover this show every week, so I want to personally thank Mr. Punk.

Punk made this thing watchable (or listenable). This show is what it is, but at least it didn't move at a snail's pace tonight. He is back next week, so that is a positive thing.

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