By Chris Shore

Smackdown on MyNetwork TV
Taped on 8/31/10 in Albany, N.Y.

[Q1] A video recapped the Kane vs. Undertaker feud…The opening video aired, followed by the pyro, and Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcomed us to Smackdown…

Shore’s Slant: Let me be the first to publically congratulate Dot Net member Schnozberry on the arrival of his new daughter. I hope he, Mrs. Berry and baby Schniz are all doing well.

Alberto del Rio was introduced by his personal ring announcer. He was in a Bentley this week. Grisham said del Rio broke Rey Mysterio’s wrist last week. There were several men in tuxedos holding various items in the ring. He took the mic and setup a video that recapped his attack on Mysterio.

He said he was throwing a celebration because he removed Rey from WWE. He said Rey was an embarrassment to his people because Rey was ashamed of his heritage. He said that’s why Rey used the match. He said was like a donkey. He had a donkey piñata hanging in the ring with a Mysterio mask on. He crushed the piñata and said Rey was a broken donkey. He took a glass of champaign and said everyone should toast him because he had everything.

Christian’s music hit and he came to the ring. He punked del Rio a few times, calling him JBL—Juan Bradshaw Layfield—and Enrique Iglesias. Del Rio called him something in Spanish and Christian played it off as the name of the hors d’oeuvres. He then got serious and said he didn’t appreciate what del Rio did to his friend. They jawed back and forth and Christian challenged del Rio to a match right now. Del Rio took his coat off and they stood face to face. He smiled that great smile and backed away. He took his mic and said they would do it another time and place. He said Christian would pay and left the ring.

[Q2] Del Rio backed up the ramp. Drew McIntyre came through the crowd and attacked Christian from behind. He tossed him to the floor and del Rio walked back and squatted next to Christian. He talked shit to Christian as McIntyre looked on from the ring…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Solid opening segment. Twilling says he doesn’t see what all the fuss is about del Rio. I think we should take up an offering for an optometrist. Del Rio has money written all over him, and he proved it here.

Back from commercial, a video showed McIntyre driving Christian into the stairs during the break. Christian sold the attack but, said he wanted to continue…

1. Christian defeated Drew McIntyre at 4:15. McIntyre spent the first two minutes working the back and ribs. He went to the top and tried for a fist drop, but Christian got the feet up. Christian went to the top and tried for a crossbody, but Drew caught him and hit a backbreaker. Christian rolled to the floor and Drew followed. He stood on the announce table, but Christian swept the leg and Drew hit the table hard. Both men made it back in at nine. McIntyre hit a gutbuster, but Christian grabbed his feet and hooked a jackknife rollup for the win…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Note to any single WWE Superstar who may be dating a Diva. Have her tested by a professional psychiatrist before you marry her. Choices have consequences my friends.

[Q3] Kelly Kely made her ring entrance. Team LayCool made their way overbooked ring entrance. A video recapped their confrontation with Melina from Raw…

2. Michelle McCool (w/Layla) defeated Kelly Kelly at 2:16. Layla joined on commentary. McCool destroyed Kelly for 90 seconds, and then Kelly hulked up and hit her spots. She tried for a hurricanranna, but McCool caught her and hit the Faith Breaker for the win…The announce team hyped Kane’s major announcement for later…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Yeah, I’m really tired of killing the women every week. I got nothing here.

A video recapped WWE in China…Backstage, some guy was putting electrodes on Hornswoggle’s head. Teddy Long came in and asked what was going on. The guy said he was a doctor and they had tried everything to get him to talk, including a See and Say. He said they needed to try shock therapy. He shocked Horny twice. Horney took the electrodes off and stuck one to the doctors head. He turned on the device and he and Teddy beat it as the doctor began to smoke…

Shore’s Slant: We want Divas! Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.

[Q4] Back from commercial, Chris Masters was already in the ring. Ouch. Vickie Guerrero came out and did her bit. She introduced Dolph Ziggler, and they made their ring entrance while a video recapped his match with Kofi Kingston last week…

3. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero) defeated Chris Masters at 2:04. Masters started with strikes and hit a gorilla press slam. Ziggler rolled to the apron and hit a neckbreaker on the second rope for two. Masters came back and hit a slingshot into the corner. HE tried for the Masterlock, but Ziggler kicked the corner and drove Masters backward to the mat. He followed with the Zig Zag for the win…Big Show was shown heading towards the ring…[C]

Shore’s Slant: That really could have used the three minutes they gave the midget. This show started strong, but it’s been all downhill from there. I hope CM Punk can save us…I mean the show.

Big Show made his entrance as a video recapped his mauling of Gallows on Monday night. The SES was out next…

[Q5] 4. Big Show defeated CM Punk and Luke Gallows (w/Joey Mercury) at 9:59. Punk started with a couple of kicks that Show swatted off. Show finally grabbed his leg, but Punk escaped and tagged in Gallows. Big Show wrecked Gallows, and he rolled to the floor. Show came over and put the Vulcan nerve pinch on Mercury’s injured shoulder.

Punk tagged in and worked Show on the floor. He distracted the ref, and Gallows attacked from behind. He rolled Show in the ring and Punk pounded on him. Show hulked up and Punk ran. Show grabbed him by the trunks and tossed him to the floor and followed. He followed and charged at Punk who was leaning against the stairs. Punk moved and Show hit the stairs with his shoulder…[C]

Back at 7:57, Punk stomped on Show and then tried to drag him to the corner. He gave up and tagged in Gallows. He hit several splashes and covered for two. Gallows hooked a chin lock, but Show reversed into a sidewalk slam. Show went on the attack and grabbed the throat. He pushed Gallows back into Punk, and then hit a powerbomb lift into a reverse electric chair. I forget the name of the move. He hooked on a modified Camel Clutch for the submission win. Post-match, Punk hit GTS on Gallows and left the ring in a huff…The announce team hyped Kane’s announcement…[C]

Shore’s Slant: A number of things here. First, no mention of Serena being kicked out for failing last week or something? If you are going to implode the SES, at least use the story to your advantage. Second, what’s up with the rash of submissions recently? Is it time for the all submission match PPV? And finally, why break up the SES? Why not let them have a run as a real heel stable? I think it could work, and WWE never really gave these guys a real chance.

[Q6] Jack Swagger was in the ring with his dad, who was in a wheelchair. The ring was setup for the VIP Lounge. Swagger setup a video that recapped his win, and post-match beatdown, over MVP last week. He introduced his father as his special guest. Swagger said his dad was his VIP. His dad said he was so proud of him and asked Swagger to do some pushups.

His dad counted and Swagger did 47 according to the official count. It was more like 30, but still. MVP’s music hit and he came to the ring with a mic. He called it a Hallmark moment and then said they were both squares making fools of themselves. MVP said Swagger was blowing his one chance to be the host. Swagger said MVP had to leave because it was his moment.

MVP said Swagger was the host, but it was still his show and it was over. He tossed a lot of the props over the ropes and squared off to face Swagger. Swagger grabbed the wheelchair and used his dad as a shield while he grabbed his neck. Swagger ended up pushing his dad at MVP. MVP hit a reverse Russian leg sweep on dad and then pulled the ropes down to send a charging Swagger to the floor. He hit the Ballin’ elbow on dad and then tossed the chair at Swagger…[C]

Shore’s Slant: The live crowd has turned on the show. I quit back at Hornswoggle, but they have officially given up the ghost as we say down here. That wasn’t bad, but it was boring. Another blown opportunity.

[Q7] Matt Hardy made his ring entrance with a limp. “Daffy” Cody Rhodes made his ring entrance with a mic. He had the crowd clap for Hardy. He said Hardy’s clothes had Lane Bryant tags on them, and Hardy had not been following his grooming tips. He punked Hardy’s nose, beard and weight. He said Hardy was dashing his opportunity to be dashing.

Cody took off his jacket and it had a mirror on the back. He told Matt to look at himself. He asked him if he saw the guy who made TLC matches, the guy who wanted to be WWE champion as a child, or even Version 1.0. He said all he saw was version done. Hardy stole the jacket and attacked Rhodes.

4. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes defeated Matt Hardy at 7:32. Hardy drove Cody to the floor with strikes…[C] Back at 4:38, Hardy hit a Side Effect for two. Hardy clipped the leg and hooked a single-leg crab. Rhodes made the ropes and drove Hardy back to the corner. They battled until Matt jumped off and landed on his hurt foot. Cody hit a knee drop on the foot from the second rope and followed with Cross Rhodes for the win…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Dear god, wake me up when this show is over. Remind me to kill Marv for taking the night off. This show has been either terrible or terribly boring.

[Q8] Kane’s music and pyro hit and he could be heard laughing. He appeared on the big screen and cut a promo on “the final chapter.” He said Undertaker’s very existence will end at Night of Champions when he defends the world title against him. He said after NOC he would finally be the devil's favorite demon.

He said Taker pointed out that Kane’s sin was jealousy. He said Taker was right, but his sin would make him stronger while Taker’s sin of pride would make him weaker. He said he had wanted Taker’s powers for years, and now they were finally his. He laughed manically while druids brought a casket to the ring as Gregorian chants took over. The video feed acted crazy with pictures of Taker, and the casket opened as Hell’s Bells tolled.

Kane climbed out of the casket laughing. He said he wished he could see his brother’s face right now. He said he wanted to see his face when the Undertaker realized he walked in Kane’s shadow. He put over being the second choice behind his brother his entire life. He said when he looked at Taker now, all he saw was weakness. He said this Monday proved Taker was the Phenom no longer.

A video recapped the Nexus beatdown on Undertaker. He said while everybody waited for Taker to rise, he knew he would just lay there. He said Taker’s power was no more, and he would know be known as Kane’s brother. He said Taker would feel his rage at NOC and there was nothing Taker could stop him. He screamed again and again that nothing could stop him.

Hell’s Bells tolled, and the Undertaker made his ring entrance while Kane laughed. Taker stopped near the floor and snatched his hooded ring robe off. He raised the house lights on the steps and glared at Kane. As he got in the ring, the lights went out.

The bell tolled, and Taker was in the ring alone. He looked at the casket, and it was closed. He cautiously went over and snatched the lid open. The casket was empty. Kane laughed and appeared on the screen. He said Taker may not have taught him everything he knew about evil, but that didn’t mean Kane had anything left to learn. He said that they were called the Brothers of Destruction, but after NOC Taker would be known as the brother who was destroyed…

Shore’s Slant: Thank you to Michael “P.S.” Hayes for proving he knows more about booking than I do…sometimes. This feud was terrible in my mind to start, and yet it is the most compelling thing on Friday nights not named Alberto del Rio. Fantastic ending to an otherwise drab show. I will have plenty more tomorrow in the hitlist. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you then.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com with whatever is on your mind.

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