4/12 Powell's WWE Raw Live Coverage: Randy Orton vs. Batista, actor and musical genius David Hasselhoff hosts the show, Maryse vs. Eve for the WWE Divas Championship


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WWE TV Reports


4/12 Powell's WWE Raw Live Coverage: Randy Orton vs. Batista, actor and musical genius David Hasselhoff hosts the show, Maryse vs. Eve for the WWE Divas Championship
Apr 12, 2010 - 08:00 PM


WWE Raw on the USA Network
Taped earlier today in London, England


[Q1] The opening theme played. This just in, Nickelback is still chick rock... The video screen led the crowd in chanting "Hoff" for guest host David Hasselhoff. A bunch of women dressed like druids walked onto the stage with Hasselhoff cut-out faces in front of their own faces. Hasselhoff exited a KITT-like as the Knight Rider theme song played.

Hasselhoff wore a sparkly jacket with some wild shoes. He headed to the ring as one of his songs played. The women removed the robes and danced. Hasselhoff said he feels "Hoffsome" and played to the crowd. "Finally, the Hoff has come back to Monday Night Raw," Hasselhoff said.

The crowd didn't seem especially into Hasselhoff, but they played along by chanting "Hoff" again when he paused. Hasselhoff said he was going to honor Baywatch by holding a "Baywatch Babe Triple Threat Tag Team match." He said he was watching Smackdown the other night. The crowd booed.

Hasselhoff said he noticed there was no No. 1 contender to the World Hvt. Championship. He announced Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton for the title at Extreme Rules. Hasselhoff said the No. 1 contenders for both World Title were in the building and would face each other (Batista vs. Randy Orton). Hasselhoff announced that a Divas Championship match would start things off...

Powell's POV: Wow, Hasselhoff is nothing but a low rent William Shatner.

1. Eve defeated Maryse to win the Divas Championship in 2:00. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are on commentary. Eve went for an early moonsault and missed when Maryse rolled out of the way. Maryse got up laughing at her opponent. Maryse went for a DDT or a suplex, but Eve blocked the move and countered into a bridge for the 1-2-3...

Powell's POV: The crowd couldn't have cared less about the title change. Honestly, I can't think of the last time I've heard such an unenthusiastic response to a title changing hands in WWE.

A shot aired of Big Show and The Miz walking backstage with all their gold. Cole said Miz had vowed to make what he deemed a major announcement... [C]

Highlights aired from last week's main event tag match with David Otunga walking out on John Cena...

[Q2] Big Show and Miz came to the ring as the announcers explained that Otunga didn't want to share the spotlight with John Cena. Once in the ring, Show took the mic and admitted he was skeptical that their team would work out. He said that after winning at WrestleMania and then winning twice last week, he believes he and Miz have a chance to be special.

The Miz announced that ShoMiz is the greatest tag team in WWE history. The fans booed. "You boo that?" Miz asked. "Really? Really?" He told the fans to name a team that's better than ShoMiz. "You can name all the tag teams you want, but the fact of the matter is that you all don't have any credibility." He started to repeat the line about being the greatest team ever when he was interrupted.

Bret Hart's music played and he walked to the ring to a nice pop. Cole recalled Miz interrupting Bret on Raw during his last appearance. "Give me a break," Hart said regarding ShoMiz claiming to be the best team in WWE. He said The Hart Foundation and the British Bulldogs were both better.

"We're not talking about teams that were good for a couple of months, we're talking about teams that were great for years," Hart said. Miz said Hasselhoff isn't the only person in the building who is delusional. Miz said he could have put the Sharpshooter on Hart faster than he could put a pair of cheap sunglasses on a kid. Funny. Miz also mocked the fans by talking in an English accent while saying they could beat the Bulldogs too.

Bret said he knows of a team that could beat ShoMiz now. Cue The Hart Dynasty music. Cole pointed out that they had a countout victory against ShoMiz recently. The Hart Dynasty joined Bret in the ring. Miz asked why they were there. Hart said he invited them. Hart said he once fought David Hart Smith's father at Wembley Stadium in one of the greatest matches of all-time.

Miz wasn't impressed. Smith took the mic and said everyone knows that his father is watching tonight. "That's why I'm issuing a challenge," Smith said. "Me against you, Miz, one-on-one tonight," Smith said. He added that if he wins the singles match, the Hart Dynasty get a Unified Tag Title shot at Extreme Rules.

Miz talked to Show, who wasn't pleased. Miz said Show thinks it's a mistake, but he thinks it's an opportunity. Miz said that if he wins the match, Bret Hart must declare that ShoMiz is the greatest tag team of all-time. The Harts conferred. "You're on," Bret responded to close the segment...

Powell's POV: It was nice to see Bret again and this was good use of him. Sure, they could feature him more prominently, but I won't complain about WWE finally using Bret to give the Hart Dynasty some much needed rub. Miz is phenomenal on the mic, and I love the dynamic he and Show have as a team. Show is being portrayed as the smarter and calmer of the two, who eventually gives into Miz being brash and taking challenges that Show doesn't want. Unfortunately, Smith didn't make the most of his limited mic time.

2. The Miz (w/Big Show) defeated David Hart Smith (w/Natalya, Tyson Kidd) in 4:50. Bret was gone after the commercial break. Natalya slapped Miz during the opening minute while the ref was distracted. Smith performed the long standing suplex just as his father was famous for.

[Q3] Miz came back and slammed Smith's head off the turnbuckle, then followed up with a double axe handle off the top rope. Later, Smith picked up Miz for a powerslam, but Show reached in and punched Smith in the kidney area. Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the win. The announcers stressed that Bret Hart would have to appear on Raw next week to announce ShoMiz as the best team in WWE history... [C]

Powell's POV: There's a major story on the main page right now regarding WWE Smackdown changing networks later this year.

Highlights aired from last week's Raw main event tag match...

Backstage, David Otunga tried to buddy up to Batista, who asked him to fetch a cup of coffee. Otunga thought he was playing around, but Batista's facial expression didn't change. Otunga said he was going to get a coffee anyway, so he'd get Batista a cup as well.

Hasselhoff showed up with the celebrity whore Bella Twins. Hasselhoff said Cena invited Otunga to the show. Hasselhoff announced Cena vs. Otunga for later in the show. He asked KITT how long it would take Cena to put Otunga out of his misery. The car estimated 22 seconds. Hasselhoff referred to Otunga as "D-List." Otunga corrected him and walked away... [C]

Powell's POV: Hasselhoff is sooooo over the top. Unlike Shatner, it doesn't feel like the masses are digging his routine. Having a D-Lister like Hasselhoff refer to Otunga as a D-Lister doesn't do much for the A-List gimmick.

[Q4] 3. Evan Bourne pinned Carlito in 3:45. Cole said there were 16,106 fans in attendance. He casually mentioned that Eve beat Maryse and said Hasselhoff is hosting the show. Cole never mentioned the Divas Title change, but he found time to break down what type of car KITT is and said, "I'm a big Knight Rider fan." Great.

The announcers spent the bulk of the match talking about everything other than the actual match. The wrestlers traded offense, including Carlitio hip-tossing Bourne into the corner. Cool spot. Carlito tried to followup with a Backstabber off the ropes, but Bourne blocked it and followed up with Air Bourne for the win...

Powell's POV: I'd like to see more of these two, but I'm sure they'll get back to playing jobbers to the stars next week. If nothing else, the announcers really put over Bourne's Shooting Star Press finisher and a couple of cool slow-mo replays were shown.

The announcers hyped Otunga vs. Cena for after the break... [C]

Powell's POV: It's hard to be excited about Cena vs. Otunga when they followed up Otunga's guest host spot by having him lose clean in a throwaway match on NXT. Maybe they'll surprise me.

John Cena made his entrance. Cole took this opportunity to tell us we were watching "the longest running..." Oh hell, you know the drill by now. Otunga came out to the sappy NXT theme song. He was accompanied by Batista, who must have really enjoyed that cup of coffee. Batista clapped for Otunga and then waved at Cena...

4. John Cena defeated David Otunga in a non-title match in 3:10. Batista remained on the stage as the match started.

[Q5] Cena worked over Otunga's arm to open the match as Batista rooted for Otunga from the stage. The announcers said Cena was putting on a clinic. Cena followed up with a couple of suplexes and then looked to the stage. He set up Otunga for another suplex, but then tossed him aside and turned his attention toward Batista.

Otunga recovered and ran at Cena, only to eat a clothesline. Cena applied the STF and won the match via submission. Afterward, Batista took off his sweater vest (nice heel tactic) and his shirt. He teased coming to the ring, but instead called for the spotlight to be shone on him. "I say when," Batista yelled at Cena.

Powell's POV: Cena guided Otunga through a basic match. Of course, it's not live, so there's no telling whether edits were made to cover any mistakes, but what aired on television was simple and fine. Otunga fits in on Raw charismatically, but he has a long way to go in the ring.

The announcers hyped the main event and the Baywatch Babe Triple Threat tag match for later in the show... [C]

Highlights aired of the Sheamus and Triple H segment from last week... A scenic shot aired of London. Lawler yelled, "Look, kids, Big Ben." Lawler's tribute to "European Vacation" earned him major brownie points with this viewer...

Sheamus came to the ring for a promo. He said Triple H only brings a sledgehammer out when he fears someone. "If last week is any indication, The Game is scared to death of me," Sheamus said. He announced that he will face Hunter in a Street Fight at the Extreme Rules pay-per-view.

Sheamus worked the easy heat by saying he grew up on the mean streets of Ireland. He said it's tougher than anywhere in the United States and "anywhere in this fallen empire." He said Hunter would be making a mistake he'll regret the rest of his career if he shows up at Extreme Rules. Kofi Kingston walked onto the stage and said he was there for payback for what happened last week. He said he spoke to Hasselhoff, who booked their match...

Powell's POV: Good mic work from Sheamus. it was simple and effective. There's a noticeable difference in his confidence level behind the mic since he first started. Kofi didn't exactly wow the live crowd with his brief mic work.

[Q6] 5. Kofi Kingston defeated Sheamus by DQ in 5:10. Kofi controlled the early action and hit a missile dropkick for a near fall at 1:30. Sheamus cut him off and followed it up with some slow offense. Kofi came back and tried to fire up the crowd before hitting the Boom Drop.

Sheamus went for his big kick at 4:45, but Kofi avoided it. Kofi followed up with Trouble in Paradise and went for a cover, but Sheamus reached up and grabbed the bottom rope at the last second. They went to ringside, where Sheamus hit Kofi with a TV monitor for the DQ.

Lawler stressed that Sheamus could use the monitor in a street fight to set up the pay-per-view match with Hunter. Sheamus continued to rough up Kofi after the match. He ran him stomach-first into the post, and then followed up with a big boot that knocked him off the apron and onto the floor... [C]

Powell's POV: The last minute was good, but everything leading up to that was dull and failed to engage the crowd. Fortunately, the post-match attack was well done. I'm digging Sheamus more than most people seem to be. He really needs a win over Hunter at Extreme Rules, and it would be nice if he actually pinned someone other than Kofi and Evan Bourne for once.

An ad hyped the three-hour WWE Draft special for Apr. 26...

Backstage, Carlito was looking for Hasselhoff and saying he wanted a rematch. Vladimir Kozlov showed up and said he hasn't received quality competition. Carlito said the co-hosts next week are the cast of MacGruber. He said the hosts are out for themselves and don't care about their careers. Kozlov said he either gets what he wants, or he will destroy MacGruber next week...

Powell's POV: I was actually intrigued there for a second until it became obvious with the last line that they are going the campy route with Kozlov as a foreign villain for the MacGruber cast. I'd love to see them followup with Carlito's frustration in something other than a comedy role.

The announcers ran through the pay-per-view lineup and added the Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton title match...

[Q7] Backstage, Josh Matthews interviewed Randy Orton and asked him what his strategy is for Extreme Rules. Orton said he is the last man that Swagger should ever want to step foot in the ring with. He said his plans for Swagger are strictly business, but tonight with Batista is different. "That is something I've been looking forward to for a very long time," Orton said...

David Hasselhoff came out and took a seat at the top of a lifeguard's chair that was positioned near ringside. Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly made their entrances in Baywatch swimsuits and ran to the ring in Baywatch style...

Powell's POV: Believe it or not, I never watched a full episode of Baywatch in my life. I learned more about the show from the movie "Borat" than I did during all the years it was on television. In other words, there's a good chance that some of the Baywatch references will go over my head, so bear with me.

After the break, a shot aired of The Bella Twins running to the ring in their Baywatch outfits in slow motion. The heels were in the ring...

6. The Bella Twins defeated Kelly Kelly and Gail Kim, and Jillian Hall and Rosa Mendes in a Triple Threat tag match in 2:00. Santino Marella was the special referee. He was also shown running out in slow-mo. A loud "Santino" chant broke out. One of the celebrity whores pinned Rosa.

After the match, Jillian pie-faced Santino, who swallowed the whistle. Hasselhoff motioned for help. It arrived in the form of Hornswoggle, who eventually hit the tadpole splash on Santino to dislodge the whistle... [C]

Powell's POV: Dumb fun. Okay, well, I assume it was fun for someone out there. The slow-mo shots were funny, but the gag got old in a hurry. I guess this means I won't be buying Baywatch on DVD to catch up on everything I missed out on. By the way, the bonus footage of Borat includes a hilarious Baywatch spoof. I'm not big on DVD extras, but that one is worth going out of your way to watch if you own the movie. For that matter, so is the "that's cheese" supermarket skit. You'll know it when you see it.

An ad for NXT hype Wade Barrett and his mentor Chris Jericho...

[Q8] Cole hyped that the cast of MacGruber will be hosting Raw next week... A video featured highlights of WWE's European tour...

7. Randy Orton beat Batista by DQ in 11:50. Cole reminded viewers that Batista "lowered the boom" on Orton back in the Evolution days. Batista tossed Orton to the floor at 2:15, which is always the cue for a commercial break. [C]

After the break, Batista was still in control of the match. Orton was lying in the ring with his head sticking under the bottom rope. Batista kicked Orton's head. At 7:00, Batista tore the announcers' table apart as Cole talked about his "rage-filled eyes." Batista tried to slam Orton's face into the table, but Orton blocked it and slammed Batista's head instead.

Back inside the ring, Batista nailed Orton with another boot to the head. Apparently, Orton is like the Ray Guy of WWE, his kicks seem to do much more damage than anyone else's do. At 8:45, the two wrestlers traded punches as the crowd delivered the "yeah" and "boo" calls.

[Overrun] Orton powerslammed Batista for a pop and then struck the Viper's pose. He looked to the announcers' table as the crowd chanted "RKO." Orton went for the punt kick, but Batista rolled out of the way. Cole said it was like Orton saw the damage that Batista wanted to do on the announcers table and decided to go for the kick.

Orton DDT'd Batista off the middle rope at 10:45. Orton slammed the match a few times and went for the RKO, but Batista blocked it, shoved him off, and hit a spinebuster. Batista did the "thumbs down" pose. Out of nowhere, Orton hit the RKO at 11:40.

Orton went for the cover, but Jack Swagger ran out to break it up for the DQ. Swagger hit his powerbomb on Orton and left him lying. Swagger headed to ringside and mugged for the crowd. John Cena ran out and knocked Swagger down from behind.

Cena entered the ring and applied to the STF on Batista, who immediately started tapping out. Several referees entered the ring and tried to pull Cena off Batista, who was motionless by this point. Cena finally released the hold and then played to the crowd by counting to ten with his fingers. Let's just be happy he didn't have to count to eleven...

Powell's POV: A very basic show. The actual main event match didn't do much for me. It just didn't feel like the big match it seemed to be on paper. This is one of those shows that no one outside of the people who were there live will be talking about a week from now. It had some decent moments, but nothing truly memorable happened.

I am now convinced that Randy Orton is moving to Smackdown in the draft. I'll talk about that and Smackdown switching network homes later tonight in the member exclusive audio review of Raw. You can get in on the fun for only $5 per month by signing up for full membership via the Dot Net Members' Signup Page.

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