Smackdown on MyNetwork TV
Taped on 3/30/10 in Las Vegas, Nev.

[Q1] The opening video aired, followed by the pyro, and Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcomed us to Smackdown. Chris Jericho was introduced and he made his ring entrance. Jericho said he was still the champion and held up the belt to good heat. He rehashed his DNA promo from last week and said he proved it at Mania. Jericho put over the spear through the retaining wall. He crapped on the fans for cheering for Edge after he assaulted him, but he was still the champion as that was all that mattered.

Edge’s music hit to an insane pop. Edge cut a promo. He said that everyone liked him to spear Jericho, and they wanted to see it tonight, and he wanted a rematch for the title right now. Jericho smiled and said no because Edge was a loser. He said Edge better get out of his ring before he tears the Achilles tendon again. Edge attacked and hit the spear, leaving Jericho laid out in the ring.

As Edge was backing up the ramp, Jack Swagger ran down and knocked Edge out with the briefcase. He saw Jericho laid out and grabbed a mic. He called for a ref and said he was cashing in. A ref ran out and took the briefcase. He cleared the ring and helped Jericho to his feet…

1. Jack Swagger defeated Chris Jericho to become the World Heavyweight Champion at 0:07. Swagger hit the Gut-Wrench Powerbomb for the win…

Shore’s Slant: HOLY F&#*!

[Q2] Swagger stood stoically as the ref handed him the belt. Swagger held the belt up and left the ring. He never smiled his usual smile. Swagger walked up the ramp past a just waking up Edge, posed stoically again at the top of the ramp with the belt, and then went backstage…[C]

Shore’s Slant: OK, I read the spoilers. But my first slant was exactly what I thought when read the spoiler. I have no idea where they go from here, but it ought to be a fun ride. The mic work from Edge and Jericho was solid, but it was overshadowed by that bombshell.

Back from commercial, the announce team recapped the title change…R-Truth made his lame ass entrance, followed by John Morrison.

2. R-Truth and John Morrison defeated Cryme Tyme in 0:44. Shad and R-Truth started. Truth got a headlock, but Shad whipped out into a shoulder tackle. Shad gorilla pressed Truth. Truth escaped, kicked him in the gut and hit the scissor kick. He tagged in Morrison who hit Starship Pain for the win…

Post match, Truth and Morrison left the ring. JTG helped Shad up and they started to bicker. Shad grabbed JTG by the face and pushed him back. JTG charged and Shad hit a big boot. Shad beat the hell out of JTG and then hit the STO before finally leaving the ring…

Swagger was shown walking backstage. He ran into Mickie James, Slam Master J, and Tony Atlas. He pointed to the belt and they congratulated him. He walked on and stopped at Shelton Benjamin. He said, “Maybe I should be called the gold standard.” He walked off and Shelton looked pissed…

Shore’s Slant: Wow, two matches and not yet 60 seconds of wrestling. Did Vinny Ru come home? Uh, I guess this is cool for Cryme Tyme. They were one of the few real tag teams left, so that sucks. But they were stuck in a rut so maybe this helps them. Is Shelton going to get a rub too? That would be cool.

[Q3][C] Back from commercial, the announce team recapped the Shad beating. Backstage, Josh Matthews asked Shad about what had happened. Shad said there was no Cryme Tyme, just “My Time.” He looked all pissy and Josh took off…Drew McIntyre made his entirely too long entrance. Matt Hardy was out next. Before he could get in the ring, Drew beat the hell out of him and hit the Future Shock DDT. The ref called him off, and Drew collected his belt and left…

The announce team setup a video that recapped John Cena appearing on True Jackson VP tomorrow night on Nickelodeon…The HBK video is next…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Three matches, still less than 60 seconds. Wow.

Back from commercial, the announce team recapped Swagger’s win. They showed video of Jericho losing it and throwing chairs…The HBK tribute video aired…

[Q4] Backstage, Vickie Guerrero, Michelle McCool, and Layla were talking about Wrestlemania. Vickie whined that people were calling it the hog splash. Swagger walked up and the girls acted…well…girly. Swagger said he wanted to give a State of the Championship speech tonight. Vickie said he could have all the time he needed. He turned to leave, turned back and kissed Vickie on the cheek and left. The girls acted even more girly…Khali and Mini-Me made their ring entrance…[C]

Shore’s Slant: I feel like I am in the twilight zone. This show doesn’t even resemble Smackdown. We are well over 45 minutes in, and we haven’t had a real match yet. This is a very strange night so far.

Back from commercial, Dolph Ziggler made his ring entrance…

3. Dolph Ziggler defeated The Great Khali (w/Ranjin Singh) by referee stoppage in 2:15. Khali hit a big club and worked chops on Ziggler in the corner. He followed with a big boot that spilled Ziggler to the floor. He reached over the top and grabbed Ziggler. Ziggler hit a hangman and then jumped over the rope into a sleeper. Khali pulled Ziggler off once, but Ziggler got back to it. Khali got his feet in the ropes, but the ref missed it. The ref checked the hand and stopped the match.

Post match, Khali said something in the mic. Mini-Me translated that Khali was leaving and going back to India. He said Khali would come back stronger and when he returned, he would be world champion. They left the ring together…Backstage, the Straight Edge Society was shown heading towards the ring…[C]

Shore’s Slant: We’re still not averaging one minute a match yet (if you consider Hardy and McIntyre a match), but that at least lasted over a minute itself. I can’t believe Khali is leaving. First HBK, and now Khali? What will I do?

[Q5] Back from commercial, The SES made their ring entrance. Gallows started on the mic and said everyone should let Punk save them. Serena took the mic and creepily put Punk over too. She said the crowd was a sea of demons and Punk was an angel. Punk trashed Sin City. He cut his promo and said he wanted to challenge Rey to another match. Punk said he would put his hair up to get the match. He said he was willing to go that far to save Rey Mysterio…The announce team hyped Swagger’s promo for later…[C]

Shore’s Slant: OK, this could be saved if Punk goes over the next time. We need to see Rey tortured as a SES member, a la HBK and JBL. With Rey, it’s more believable, and he is a more sympathetic character too. I wonder if Punk would shave his face along with his head?

[Q6] Back from commercial, Team LayCool and Vickie made their ring entrance. Tiffany was out next, followed by Beth to a big pop…

4. Tiffany and Beth Phoenix defeated Michelle McCool and Layla(w/Vickie Guerrero) at 3:07. Tiffany and McCool started. McCool mocked Tiffany’s chin, and Tiffany hit a drop toe hold. She tossed McCool around a little, but McCool came right back and choked Tiffany on the ropes. Layla tagged in and they hit a double face plant on Tiffany. Layla hit a leg drop for two and locked in a rest hold.

Tiffany escaped and got the hot tag. Beth cleaned house. She did an airplane spin on Layla, followed by a brutal clothesline. She knocked McCool to the floor and turned around. She ducked a kick from Layla and hit the Glam Slam for the win. Post match, Vickie yelled at Beth and the heels left ringside…

Backstage, Teddy Long was watching on a monitor. Jericho walked in and demanded Teddy reversed the decision from earlier. Teddy asked if he wanted his rematch. Jericho said he was hurt, and Teddy said they didn’t have anything to talk about. Jericho said Swagger would pay and stormed off…[C]

Shore’s Slant: So almost three-quarters of the way in and the longest match was a Divas match? WTF? April Fool’s Day was yesterday. The match was fine. Tiffany is terrible in the ring, Beth is awesome. What do you want?

Back from commercial, the announce team recapped the Hart Dynasty being involved with the Vince vs. Bret match at Mania. Backstage, Josh Matthews interviewed the Harts. They put over the moment and said they would enjoy their opportunity and nit let anybody down. Swagger walked in and stood between them and the camera while staring at the belt…

Shore’s Slant: Why the hell did they just stand there like pansies?

[Q7] Kane’s pyro popped and he came to the ring. He said he was bored and wanted a lot of competition. He said he was going to face the entire NXT roster. The eight men started to make their entrance…[C]

5. Kane defeated Daniel Bryan, Heath Slater, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield, Darren Young, Michael Tarver, and Wade Barrett by disqualification in an elimination match…or something at 8:27. The bell rang immediately. Kane beat the crap out of Bryan and Young. Barrett tagged in and managed to get a few shots in, but Kane hit him with a big boot and pinned him for the elimination. Who knew it was an elimination match. Sheffield came in next…[C]

Back at 6:37, Kane worked his offense on Sheffield. He picked up Sheffield and tried for a powerslam. He hit it, but Slater tagged himself in as Kane ran by. Slater broke the count, but Kane hit a chokeslam and pinned Slater. Tarver ran in and was tossed to the floor. The rookies dropped to the floor and talked strategy. They decided to rush him all at once. The ref called for the DQ for everybody left. The Rookies beat Kane down and Gabriel hit the 450 splash for the finish. Kane started to get up and everybody left quickly…

[Q8] The announce team recapped Swagger’s title win and Jericho’s tantrum, and then hyped his State of the Championship address for next…[C]

Shore’s Slant: A mass DQ in an elimination match? I don’t even know what is going on anymore. Did I eat some bad mushrooms? Are all of you seeing the same show as me? This is unbelievably bad.

Back from commercial, Swagger was introduced and came out wearing the title and holding a leather portfolio. He was very serious. Swagger said this was the first of many State of the Championship addresses he would give. The front row looked like a Gallagher concert. Swagger read from a prepared statement that put him over. He was booed and told everyone to show him some respect and listen. He said he was Shawn Michaels replacement as the greatest living wrestler. He started to say more, but Jericho’s music hit and he came to the ring.

Jericho grabbed a mic and demanded Swagger give the belt back. Swagger said it belonged to him now and Jericho couldn’t do anything about it. Jericho started to freak out and said he wanted the travesty fixed. Edge’s music hit and he came to the ring. He took a mic and said Swagger owed him for making it possible for him to cash in MITB. He said Swagger should face a guy who isn’t injured. Jericho and Edge bickered and Teddy Long’s music hit.

He said he would fix the problem. He announced Jericho vs. Edge for the number one contendership next week. Swagger distracted Edge, and Jericho hit a Codebreaker. Swagger hit the gut wrench powerbomb on Jericho and then Edge. He posed in the ring with the title to end the show…

Shore’s Slant: I don’t even know where to begin. Was that the worst Smackdown ever? It might have been. If not, it can see it from here. Why is Jericho vs. Edge not for the title? This is nuts. I have to walk away from this for a while before I can even begin to process it. I’ll have it all worked out for the hitlist tomorrow. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you then.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com with whatever is on your mind.

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