Smackdown on MyNetwork TV
Taped on 3/8/10 in Seattle, Wash.

[Q1] The opening video aired, followed by the pyro, and Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcomed us to Smackdown. Rey Mystero’s music hit, and he and his family made their ring entrance. His son held the ropes open for Rey…the bottom ropes. Isn’t that Eddie’s kid? Anyway, Rey said he wanted to introduce his family to us because he felt like the WWE Universe was his family as well. He introduced them and said tonight was his daughter’s ninth birthday. The crowd chanted “Happy Birthday,” and then Rey and the crowd sang it. When he got to “Happy Birthday dear…” CM Punk’s music hit and he and the SES made their entrance.

Punk took a mic and said not to stop on his account. He finished the birthday song in a creepy ass voice. He said Rey looked scared, but he assured them he wasn’t out there to hurt Rey or his family. He challenged Rey to a match at Mania, and an immediate match. Mysterio’s daughter started to cry. Punk told her not to cry. He said his birthday gift to her would be to allow her to close her eyes while he made his father cry. He punked the rest of the family and said he would destroy Mysterio. Rey dropped the mic and stared at Punk. Punk called him a coward for not fighting.

He asked where the giant killer was. The crowd chanted “619” and Punk asked where it was. He asked where Rey’s machismo was. He said Rey never had any. He got on his knees and said he would get on Rey’s level. Rey still wouldn’t fight. Punk slapped Rey and Rey almost bit. Instead, he and his family left. Punk mocked him all the way up the ramp and then sang Happy Birthday again in the same creepy ass voice…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Holy #@(%! Just when I thought CM Punk couldn’t get over any farther as a heel, he destroys the previous mark. Note to Triple H, that’s how you give a promo that makes you want to see a match. I realize Shamus isn’t Rey Mysterio, but I would now pay to see that match. Just wow stuff from Punk.

[Q2] Back from commercial, Grisham and Striker used their inside voices to sell what Punk had just done to Mysterio…The Miz and Daniel Bryan made their ring entrance. Bryan wore jeans and a button up. A video package recapped Show Miz vs. Truth and Morrison from Raw. Miz cut a sarcastic promo about Morrison and Truth winning. He said Show Miz would win because they are awesome. Truth and Otunga made their lame ass entrance…

1. R-Truth (w/David Otunga) defeated The Miz (w/Daniel Bryan) at 6:06. Truth clothesline Miz to the floor and hit a plancha…[C] Back at 3:43, Miz had a side headlock on Truth. Truth hit a back suplex to break the hold. Truth hit a bunch of strikes, and then a pump kick for two. Miz came right back and hit his backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for two. Truth reversed a lift attempt into a roll up for two. He kicked Miz and went for the axe kick, but Miz mived and hooked a rollup. He put his foot on the ropes, and Bryan pushed them off. Miz stared at Bryan for a moment and turned into the lie detector for the Truth win…The announce team hyped the Highlight Reel…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Ugh, that was pretty bad. One-third of the match was commercial break, and the other two-thirds dragged. The Bryan interaction was nice, and helped plug NXT, but it did little to help this match for Wrestlemania.

[Q3]Back from commercial, another Undertaker/Michaels hype video aired. The announce team ran down the Wrestlemania card…Backstage, Drew McIntyre was shown walking. Teddy Long ran up and said Vince had expunged both of McIntyre’s losses and was giving him a third shot at MITB. He said Vince had handpicked McIntyre’s opponent. Teddy said he couldn’t change the match, but he did make it a winner take all MITB and Intercontinental title match. Drew did not look pleased…[C]

Shore’s Slant: How much you wanna bet Vince looks at creative next December and says, “What do you mean we can’t do Taker and Shawn again? Do you know how money that would be?” They are riding this thing for all it is worth…which is a lot.

Back from commercial, McIntyre made his ring entrance. A video recapped McIntyre’s two losses that don’t exist.

[Q4]His opponent was introduced as a three time Washington state champion (read: jobber)…

2. Drew McIntyre crushed Aaron Bolo at 0:31 to retain the Intercontinental championship and qualify for Money in the Bank. Three clotheslines and a Future Shock DDT later, McIntyre ran to the floor and made Striker say, “Drew McIntyre is going to Wrestlemania.”…Big Show was shown backstage heading towards the ring…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Vince could have done us all a damn favor and just put this guy in MITB. Did we really have to go through all that?

Back from commercial Big Show made his ring entrance. Morrison was out next…

3. Big Show defeated John Morrison at 5:06. Morrison went right at Show with strikes and kicks, but Show hit a shoulder block and went to work. Show did the chop in the corner and left a big whelp on Morrison’s chest. Show taunted Morrison and worked his heel offense of headbutts and strikes. Show slapped on a chin lock. Morrison made the ropes for the break, but Show kicked him to the floor.

Show lifted Morrison back in the ring. Morrison hit a Pele kick. Show went for the chokeslam, but Morrison held the ropes and hit another kick. He followed with a missile drop kick for two, and a Shining Wizard for two. Morrison hit the springboard for the flying chuck, but Show punched him out of the air for the win…

[Q5] The announce team hyped the Highlight Reel…[C]

Shore’s Slant: That was better match than its partner match, but still ho hum. It’s the same Show match we have seen a thousand times. I know you can only do so much with the big men, but I grow weary of the same match every time Show has a singles match. The punch out of the air was nice.

Back from commercial, Tiffany and Teddy Long were backstage talking. Vickie came in and Teddy introduced them. Vickie said Tiffany was the reason ECW got canceled. Vickie acted all catty about her position and Tiffany. Teddy said Tiffany was here to compete as a Diva, not going after Vickie’s job. Vickie laughed and Tiffany acted offended. Vickie booked Tiffany vs. Michelle McCool for later…Back ringside, the Harts were already in the ring. Are you kidding me? Cryme Tyme made their ring entrance…

4. The Hart Dynasty fought Cryme Tyme to an apparent no contest at 1:19. JTG and Kidd started. I can’t cover this match again. The lights went out at 1:08, and when they came back on, Taker was in the ring. He hit the chokeslam on Shad, the Last Ride on Kidd, the Tombstone on Smith, and then slapped the Hell’s Gate on JTG. He left the ring, and stopped on the stage to do the throat slash…A NXT commercial hyped Miz and Daniel Bryan…[C]

Shore’s Slant: What, no love for Natalya? This was so bad for the teams. First they have to wrestle for the googleth (is that a word?) time, and then they get squashed by Taker. And the Harts didn’t even get an entrance. How very sad.

[Q6] Back from commercial, the Raw Rebound video aired…The announce team hyped Stone Cold on Raw, as well as the Wrestlemania rematches…Michelle McCool made her ring entrance with the rest of the Bogus People. Barbie…uh…Tiffany made her ring entrance…

5. Tiffany defeated Michelle McCool (w/Layla and Vickie Guerrero) by disqualification at 1:29. McCool pushed Tiffany and did some Swagger style pushups. Tiffany attacked McCool and spilled her to the floor. Tiffany followed to the floor and attacked. They brawled on the floor, and Vickie hit a shoulder block on Tiffany to cause the DQ. They rolled Tiffany into the ring, and Beth Phoenix ran down. She took out LayCool and then turned on Vickie. She toyed with Vickie, and then hit a clothesline. She set her up for her finisher, but LayCool ran in. Beth dropped Vickie, and Vickie rolled to safety as LayCool retreated…Kane was shown backstage heading towards the ring…[C]

Shore’s Slant: What the hell was that? Is Vickie going to get in the ring? Oh no. Oh GOD NOOOOO!!!!!!!

[Q7] Back from commercial, the Straight Edge Society made their ring entrance. A video package recapped the Punk/Mysterio interaction. Kane was out next…

6. Kane defeated Luke Gallows (w/CM Punk and Serena) by disqualification at 7:31. They traded strikes and power moves. Kane hit a the sitdown drop kick and called for the chokeslam. Gallows rolled to the floor to recover…[C]

Shore’s Slant: Oh my. Does Iron Man 2 look good or what?

Back at 4:57, Gallows had a rest hold on Kane. Darren Young was shown backstage, watching on a monitor. Gallows hit a big splash for two and pummeled Kane. Kane fought back, hit a big boot, and worked his offense. He hit the sidewalk slam for two. Kane went to the top and hit the clothesline, but Gallows reversed the chokslam into another slam for two. Kane reversed the next attempt into a choke slam. CM Punk ran in and caused the DQ. Punk hit GTS on Kane, and Mysterio’s music hit.

Rey walked slowly to the ring taking his shirt and watch off. CM Punk laid out of the ring and Rey gave chase. They battled on the floor and into the crowd until refs broke them up…A graphic hyped the Highlight Reel for next…[C]

Shore’s Slant: This has been a rather weak Smackdown, and this match is a prime example as to why. It was mostly commercial, and what we had was formulaic and stale. The beatdown was too short to make any difference. What a shame.

[Q8] Back from commercial, the ring was setup for the Highlight Reel and Chris Jericho was introduced. Before he said anything, Edge’s music hit and he came to the ring. Jericho asked Edge if that look on his face meant there was something funny. Edge said what was funny was that the highlight they always seems to have involved Edge hitting some move on Jericho. He said he couldn’t remember the name. He got the crowd to shout spear a few times. Jericho said that was very humorous.

Jericho ran down all of Edge’s missed Wrestlemanias and time for being injured. He asked Edge if he knew what he was doing while Edge was out. Edge said losing and pointed out that Jericho lost at the Manias he mentioned. Edge said he does get hurt. He says he does it because he takes risks and that’s the only way he knows how to compete. Jericho said Edge did like to take risks, and he proved it when he challenged Jericho.

Jericho said the best thing Edge has ever done was Vickie. Edge said that was true, we all had that girlfriend we weren’t proud of. He said for Jericho it was Big Show. Edge said he was going to reclaim his world title. Jericho did his “bad things happen to you when I am with you” bit and said Edge wasn’t fully healed and rushed his comeback. He said he was going to beat him and hurt him. Edge said he was going to make Jericho a former champion after he hit him with the spear.

Jericho hit Edge with the mic. He hit Edge with the stools, and then tried to ram him into the Jeritron 5000 (6000?). Edge pushed off and hit the Impaler DDT. He setup for the spear and charged. Jericho hit him with the title, knocking Edge out. Jericho grabbed the mic and chanted “spear” over and over. He finally dropped to his knees, said it one more time in Edge’s face, and held the title up to end the show…

Shore’s Slant: God I wanted to get into this. But I couldn’t. The “spear” thing drives me up the wall, and I’m ready to turn it off as soon as it starts. It’s so sad. This feud was supposed to be the best one outside of Taker and HBK. And this stupid little chant is killing it. Not to mention I was ready to turn this off 30 minutes ago.

I’ll have more to say tomorrow in the hitlist. And be sure to check out my audio debut in this week’s Dot Net Weekly. Not a member? Join now for only $5 and let my Southern drawl relax your worries away. Or at least put you to sleep. Thanks for reading.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com with whatever is on your mind.

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