8/14 Shore's WWE SummerSlam Review and Results: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly for the Diva's Title, Randy Orton vs. Christian for the World Hvywt. Title, and John Cena vs. C.M. Punk for the undisputed WWE Title
By Chris Shore
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Aired live on PPV
Staples Center, Los Angeles, Calif.
The show opened cold and Adam Jones of the band Tool played the national anthem as patriotic pictures were shown…A cool video played on C.M. Punk saying he had caused a domino effect on WWE and hyped the WWE Championship match…The SummerSlam intro video played, followed by the pyro, and Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and Booker T checked in on commentary…
Shore's Slant: Will somebody explain to me why Booker T is even in the building when Jim Ross is available. Terrible idea.
Miz made his ring entrance. He took a mic and said that he was back by popular demand. He thanked everyone for their demands to see him. He said for everybody to sit back and watch him steal the show. R-Truth's entrance cut him off.
Truth came to the ring cutting a promo and said he didn't like spiders because they started with "S." He said Cee Lo Green was performing later and that conspiracy started with "C." Yes, that's what he said. Fortunately Del Rio's music cut him off an we finally got on with it…
1. Kofi Kingston, John Morrison, and Rey Mysterio defeated The Miz, R-Truth, and Alberto Del Rio in 9:40. Miz and Morrison started. Morrison got in a few shots, including his chuck kick, and then Truth spilled him to the floor for the heels to take control. Miz tagged back in and Morrison hit a Pele kick.
Kofi got the hot tag and hit the SOS on Miz. He covered, and Del Rio broke the count. Del Rio kicked Rey to the floor, and then Kofi hit a drop kick that spilled Del Rio to the floor. Morrison hit a diving clothesline from Del Rio and the crowd was hot for it.
Miz hit a modified RKO type move on Kofi and the heels took control again. They worked in and out on Kofi until Kofi hit a double stomp. Rey and Truth got hot tags and Mysterio flew around the ring. He setup Truth for 619, and then dropped Miz beside him. He chased Del Rio away and ran the ropes.
Del Rio ran around and clipped his leg. Rey stopped and Morrison hit a corkscrew plancha on Del Rio. Rey hit the 619 on Truth, but Miz slid to the floor. Kofi hit a superman punch from the top rope to the floor on Miz, and Rey hit his splash on Truth for the win…
Shore's Slant: Good opener that got the crowd hot, got a bunch of guys on the show, and didn't burn us out. It was mostly useless from a storyline standpoint, but every once in a while that can be OK.
Backstage, John Laurinaitis was talking and demanded an apology from C.M. Punk for kicking him in the head on Raw. Punk gave him a sarcastic apology and turned around to see Stephanie McMahon. Stephanie wished him luck. He said he doubted it and she should "run along" and see her husband or dad. She said they wished him luck, and Cena luck too.
She said, "But what do I know? I'm just Vince McMahon's clueless daughter." Punk said, "Yeah, you're pretty clueless, but you said it, not me. I called you idiotic." Stephanie wished him luck again and offered her hand. Punks aid he would, but he knew where that hand had been…
Shore's Slant: Well that was worth the price of the PPV right there. Hilarious stuff from Punk and Steph.
A video hyped Sheamus vs. Mark Henry…
2. Mark Henry defeated Sheamus by countout at 9:22. They went right at each other and traded blows. Sheamus clubbed Henry to death and then Henry threw him over the top rope. He gorilla pressed Sheamus back in the ring and went to work. He dropped Sheamus in a 619 setup and then dove on him, sliding to the floor. Booker T said, and I quote, "He just left a skid mark on that boy's head." Get him the f*** off my TV.
Henry missed a splash from the second rope and Sheamus attacked. He hit several knees to the back of the head, and then his clubbing blows in the ropes. They had a collision and both men sold. Sheamus hit a shoulder block from the top rope for a near fall and called for the Brogue kick. He missed, and Henry hit a clothesline. He lifted for his slam, but Sheamus slid out and hit the Brogue kick.
Henry fell to the floor and Sheamus went to get him. Henry battled back and picked up Sheamus. He drove him back first into the post, and then through the barricade in the corner. He rolled back in the ring, and Sheamus couldn't answer the count.
Shore's Slant: Weak ass finish. I would have preferred the double countout to that. Sure, now Henry can say he beat Sheamus and Sheamus can say only by countout, but it's still weak. The match wasn't as good as I thought it could be, but it looks like they are staying with this for the moment so I'm sure they held back.
Backstage, Josh Matthews interviewed Christian. He said he had an insurance policy for their match tonight, and the WWE Universe was the beneficiary. He said they were in Hollywood, and he was like Harry Potter, and Randy Orton was like Cowboys and Aliens…
A commercial for the movie Killer Elite played…Cee Lo Green was introduced and he performed his "Bright Lights and a Big City" theme song and then his "Forget You" song while Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes and the Bellas danced with him…
Shore's Slant: That was terrible. The Divas looked lost.
There was a commercial for Slim Jim and 7-11. Are you kidding me? PPV prices are through the roof and we get commercials? Wow…
3. Kelly Kelly (w/Eve) defeated Beth Phoenix (w/Natalya) to retain the Diva's Championship at 6:32. Kelly went right at Beth and attacked her. She drove Beth to the floor and hit a clothesline from the second rope to the floor. They rolled back in the ring, and Beth hit a clothesline to take control. Beth did a stink face to punk Kelly and locked in a chin lock that Kelly sold like she was being stabbed.
Beth lifted Kelly onto her shoulder and spun around. She jumped up and down to get Kelly to quit, and Kelly slid out and hit a neckbreaker. Beth tied her to the tree of woe and kicked her several times. Kelly escaped and hit a roll up for two, but Beth dragged her to the ropes. Kelly hit a hangman and then slammed Beth's face into the mat. She went for the gymnastics elbow, but Beth caught her and lifted for the Glam Slam. Kelly rolled down and scored the roll-up victory…
Shore's Slant: An OK Divas match. Kelly Kelly just doesn't get it done in the ring, but Beth carried her somewhat. I guess this feud continues, which I should be excited about because it's a story. But I just feel like some of the shine has been taken off. Hopefully I'm just being pessimistic.
Backstage, Stephanie McMahon was shown walking out of John Cena's dressing room…R-Truth was shown talking to himself and turned around to ask Jimmy Hart what he thought. Hart offered to manage him and told him to think big. Truth said he agreed, he should think big, not little, Jimmy. He flipped out and asked Hart if he was little Jimmy and Hart ran off. Truth yelled at someone off camera, and it was LA Laker Ron Artest…
4. Wade Barrett defeated Daniel Bryan at 11:45. Bryan showed off some of his various holds to start, and then Barrett hit a few punches. Bryan hit a leg whip then a drop kick in the corner. He did his back flip out of the corner and hit the ropes, but Barrett hit a side slam to take control.
Barrett hit a slingshot backbreaker for a near fall in a cool looking spot. Bryan had a moment of hope, but Barrett hit a flying forearm and the crowd died. Barrett tossed Bryan over the top rope, but Bryan landed on the apron. He pulled Barrett to the floor and hit his running knee from the apron.
They rolled back in the ring and Bryan hit a missile dropkick for two. Barrett lifted for a pump handle slam and Bryan slid out. He kicked Barrett about 30 times and covered for two. Barrett came back with a big boot. Barrett lifted for the Wasteland, but Bryan slid out and hooked the guillotine, and then slid into the LaBell lock.
Barrett made the ropes and Bryan set him on the top. Bryan climbed up and Barrett racked him on the ropes. He clotheslined him off the top and then hit Wasteland for the pinfall victory…
Shore's Slant: Very good match. Those ROH kicks won't get over with the WWE crowd, but that wasn't the only thing over. Maybe it's just on TV, but that crowd was crickets for most of that match. Barrett winning surprises me. Hopefully we'll get another from them soon.
A video hyped the World Heavyweight Championship match…Christian made his ring entrance and said he could not wait for this moment because he wanted to make his major announcement. He said he was a man of integrity, and introduced his big surprise. In the corner with him tonight will be his best friend, Edge!
Edge made his ring entrance to a big pop and cut a promo. He said when he left he was sad, of course, but he felt like he was part of passing the torch to Christian. He said he agreed that it was unfair that he had to defend the championship five days after a ladder match. He said Christian whined and complained after that, and then finally won the title back by disqualification.
Edge said he did a bunch of heinous things in the ring, but he did it with style. He said Christian was boring, and he was always going to be his friend, but Christian needed to hear what he had to say. He said, "I didn't know my friend would become a whining, crying bitch." Orton was out to a good pop…
5. Randy Orton defeated Christian in a no holds barred match for the World Heavyweight Championship at 23:43. Christian jawed at Orton and Orton attacked. They reversed move after move and tumbled to the floor. Orton took the hood off the announce table and setup Christian. Christian escaped and grabbed the belt and ran through the crowd. Orton caught him and dragged him back to the ring.
Christian grabbed a kendo stick and hit Orton with it, and then drove it into Orton's throat. Orton scored a near fall with a roll up, but Christian hit a spine buster for two. Orton bled from the mouth and drop kicked Christian out of the air. He grabbed the kendo stick, but Christian kicked it away.
Christian reversed the rope DDT into a Kill Switch setup. Orton reversed that into a back breaker for a near fall. Orton backed up for the punt, but Christian rolled to the floor. He tried to rack Orton on the post, but Orton drove him into the post instead. Orton laid a table in the ring so it was still flat and pulled another out. Christian drove Orton into the apron and set a table up on the floor.
Orton fought back and the battled to the apron. They climbed the ropes and Orton hit a superplex on the table. Ow. He set the table in the corner and Christian hit a reverse DDT. He went for the spear into the table, but Orton leap frogged him. Christian threw him to the floor, but Orton slammed him into the stairs.
Orton took the bottom part of the stairs and leaned them against the apron. Christian fought back and slammed Orton into the steps. He dragged Orton over and took the Spanish announce table apart. He hit Orton in the face with a monitor and set him on the table. Christian went for the RKO, but Orton reversed into an RKO and it broke the table!
Both men rolled back in the ring at 18:00. They bumped into each other. Orton went for the RKO, and Christian reversed into the Kill Switch for a great near fall. Christian grabbed two chairs and put Orton's head on one. He spit in Orton's face, but missed the conchairto.
Orton popped up and hit Christian with a chair. Christian rolled to the apron, and Orton knocked him off through the table on the floor. Orton put the bottom part of the stairs, a kendo stick, and a trashcan in the ring. He rolled Christian back in and tried to curb stomp him on the stairs. Christian moved, but Orton hit his scoop slam into the table in the corner.
He broke the kendo stick on Christian's back and grabbed the trash can. He did his rope DDT onto the trash can. Orton had a cut on the side of his face and called for the RKO. Christian stood and hit him with a kendo stick. He jumped off the second rope for his sunset flip, but Orton jumped up and hit an RKO on the stairs for the pinfall victory…
Shore's Slant: Great match until the last three minutes. Then it was Orton with his shovel. There was no reason for Christian to take all those moves in a row. I loved the match, hated the ending. And Christian is done as a threat in the main event.
A video showed what all WWE did in LA for SummerSlam week…Backstage, Mr. and Mrs. Stephanie McMahon were shown talking. Hunter nodded and walked off…The NFL Films type hype video for the WWE Championship played…
Triple H was out first. A big C.M. Punk chant broke out and he was out next to a big pop. He played to the crowd and had a very short face off with Hunter. He sat in the middle of the ring and a huge "boo" went across the crowd. Cena's music hit and LA was far more hostile than I would have bet on…
6. C.M. Punk defeated John Cena with Triple H as special guest referee for the Undisputed WWE Championship at 24:12. Hunter did the check for weapons before ringing the bell. And apparently LA was just saving up for this match, holy cow! They went back and forth and gave Hunter a chance to count for each of them. Cena hit a gutwrench slam and a suplex for one counts and Booker T said the match was too technical for his taste. Jim Ross is in the building, but not on the head set for this match.
Punk hit a hangman on the top rope, and then a springboard missile dropkick to knock Cena to the floor. Punk rolled him in the ring and hooked a headlock. Cena stood up and spun Punk around into a side slam. Cena hit a shoulder tackle, but Punk kicked him on the next one as a Fruity Pebbles chant broke out.
Punk and Cena traded reversals in the five moves of doom and high knee/bulldog sequences until Punk locked in a koji clutch. Cena reversed it into the STF, but Punk kept an arm out to half block it. He reversed into the anaconda vice. Cena reversed it into a crossface. Punk made the ropes and Hunter counted the break.
Both men stood, and Punk sent Cena over the top rope. He hit a suicide dive, and both men sold. Hunter counted to nine and neither man moved. He stopped and went to the floor, and then tossed both men back in the ring. They made their feet and did the "yeah/boo" punches with Punk on the yeah.
Cena lifted for the AA, but Punk slid out. Cena hit a drop kick and then the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He lifted for the AA again, and Punk slid out. They did the jackknife pin into a standing position and Punk hit a roundhouse kick. He went for GTS, but Cena reversed into a spinning reverse DDT for a near fall.
Cena went to the top and Punk hit the knee, and then a jumping bulldog for two. Punk went to the top, but Cena snatched him out of the air and hooked on the STF. Punk teased tapping and made the rope. Cena lifted for the AA, Punk slid out and lifted for GTS, Cena slid out and hit the AA for a great nearfall at 20:24.
Cena argued with Hunter about the count and went to the top. Punk moved on the leg drop and hit GTS for another near fall. Both men sold the damage and Punk climbed to the top and hit a Randy Orton elbow for two. Punk argued with Hunter about the count.
Cena suddenly hulked up and beat the shit out of Punk with punches and kicks. Punk kicked him back and hit another high knee. He followed with the GTS. He covered, and Cena put his foot on the rope immediately, but Hunter counted three anyway.
Punk took the belt and went to the floor to celebrate. Hunter talked to Cena and Cena told him he missed it and left the ring. Punk climbed back in the ring and Hunter offered to shake his hand. Punk wouldn't do it, so Hunter shrugged and raised his hand in victory. He left the ring, and then Kevin Nash came in through the crowd and attacked Punk. Hunter watched from the ramp as Nash hit the jackknife powerbomb and left through the crowd.
Hunter walked down to see what the hell, and Del Rio ran out with the briefcase and a ref…
7. Alberto Del Rio defeated C.M. Punk for the WWE Championship at 0:10. The bell rang and Del Rio hit his enziguri kick for the pinfall victory. Ricardo Rodriguez closed the show by announcing Del Rio as the new WWE Champion…
Shore's Slant: Great, great, great match. Terrible, terrible, terrible ending. I was flat coming out of the leg on the ropes pin, but then Nash came in and flattened me some more. I like Del Rio with the championship, but the whole thing was overbooked big time. Money in the Bank title changes usually are, but this one really was.
Overall a good show that got better as the night went on. Orton vs. Christian and Cena vs. Punk were same match, hot as hell until the end. Not what I wanted to see tonight. Thanks for reading along, and be sure to check out the Dot Net audio review with Jason Powell and I breaking down every match, as well as Kevin Nash's run-in.
Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet me @TheShoreSlant with whatever is on your mind.
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