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WWE Night of Champions
Aired live on pay-per-view
Buffalo, N.Y. at First Niagara Center
The Monday Night Mayhem guys are at Night of Champions. I will be adding their live insight as they send it to me.
Dark Match
Daniel Bryan defeated Heath Slater. Bryan won with the LaBell lock.
A video hyped the three major matches…The opening video played, followed by the pyro, and Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and Booker effing T checked in on commentary…Awesome Truth made their entrance doing the "What's up?" re-mix. Air Boom was out next. They should call this the battle for worst tag name…
1. Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne defeated The Miz and R-Truth to retain the WWE Tag Team Championships by disqualification at 9:50. Do Kofi and Bourne really have matching trunks? Really? Kofi and Miz started. The faces botched a head scissor thing and the heels rolled to the floor. Both faces hit dives off the top rope. Somehow Truth managed to get over on Bourne, and he and Miz worked in and out on the little guy.
Miz went for Skull Crushing Finale on Bourne, but Bourne rolled through and popped up to get the hot tag to Kofi. Kofi took out both heels and hit the Boom Drop on Miz. He setup for Trouble in Paradise, but Truth tried to attack. Kofi knocked him down, and then ducked a Miz clothesline. He hit the SOS for a great near fall.
The ref got distracted arguing with Truth, and Bourne and Kofi cheated on a tag. Miz pointed it out, and the ref said he heard it. Later, Miz and Truth actually tagged, but the ref said he didn't see or hear it. While Truth and the ref argued, Miz hit the SCF and covered. The ref argued for a while and when he finally turned to count, Bourne kicked out at one.
Miz punched the ref, causing the DQ. He flipped out when the decision was announced, and shoved the ref into the corner. Truth calmed him down, and then helped the ref to his feet. He slapped the ref immediately and he and Miz left to serious heat…
Shore's Slant: Good opening match. I want to see where they go with the conspiracy thing from here before I make a final determination on this match. There's some good they can do with this, but there is a lot of room for them to stink the story up.
MNM: Huge pops for Air Boom. Crowd hated BS ending to match.
Miz and Truth were backstage and Striker walked up to remind them that they could be fined or suspended for what they did. Truth said that wasn't a ref in the ring, it was one of Triple H's conspirators. Miz said he wasn't sorry, and pointed out that Hunter might not even be COO after tonight so who cares…
2. Cody Rhodes defeated Ted DiBiase to retain the Intercontinental Championship at 9:44. Booker T started this match by saying he wanted to see Ted kick Cody's ass, and said the title would be a "bonus." Cody slapped Ted and Ted punched him in the face, which didn't hurt more. Then Cody hit a head-butt, and the mask did extra damage. All right. Rhodes followed with the Beautiful Disaster to take control.
Ted fought back and hit a running knee to the chest for two. He hit a big sitout powerbomb that Cole and Booker both miscalled and then argued about who was right. And JR is watching this show. I have no words. DiBiase ripped the mask off Cody and the crowd finally woke up. Ted swung the mask at Cody. Cody ducked and hooked a roll-up victory…
Shore's Slant: An OK match from these two that suffered from no heat going in. Cody obviously has heat with his mask, but nobody cared what Ted DiBiase did from the moment he walked through the curtain. That's not his fault. He's had nothing to work with.
MNM: "We want Ryder" chants, followed by chants of "Boring." Wow.
Christian's music hit and he came to the ring. Christian said he had talked to all the brass and was pleading his case. He said he had been in countless great matches and so he deserved "one more match." He demanded that he face the winner of the World Title match immediately after it was over. He got the crowd to chant "one more match" after dissing the Buffalo Bills. Stay smart, Buffalo!
Sheamus's music hit and he came to the ring. He said this was the night of champions, not the night of whiney bitches. He said he would give his uncle's lucky green testicle to get to compete tonight. Christian said at least he had the testicles to demand his one more match. Sheamus said if he helped Christian get one more match, and he won, then Christian's first title defense would be against him.
Christian agreed, and Sheamus got the crowd chanting again. He walked around the ring pumping the crowd up, and then hit a Brogue kick on Christian. He left Christian laid out in the ring and posed all the way to the back…
MNM: Huge heat for Christian when he said Buffalo had never won a Super Bowl.
3. Dolph Ziggler defeated John Morrison, Jack Swagger and Alex Riley to retain the United States Championship at 8:20. Ziggler and Swagger squared off for the first time at 2:30, and Swagger hit a big boot that sent Ziggler to the floor. Riley ran in and hit his finisher on Swagger, but Vickie put Swagger's foot on the rope.
Swagger rolled to the floor and Ziggler hit a drop kick on Riley. He yelled at Vickie, and Morrison attacked from the behind. He and Ziggler battled on the top turnbuckle, and Morrison fell into the tree of woe. Riley ran up to grab Ziggler, and Morrison sat up and pulled Riley to the floor. Swagger ran up and tossed Ziggler off the top and everybody was out.
Morrison went for Starship Pain on Riley. Riley got his legs up. Ziggler put the sleeper on Morrison, and Swagger put the ankle lock on Riley. Morrison fell to the floor in a weird spot, and then Swagger crashed into Ziggler. They teased a Riley win, but Swagger hit a gut-wrench powerbomb on Morrison, and then Ziggler shoved him away to cover for the win…
Shore's Slant: Fun match with a surprise ending. I never would have picked Ziggler to retain. I like it, don't get me wrong. He needed a good win, and this was a good win. Even if it was a little cheap. I just never would have picked it.
MNM: Crowd in shock after fatal fourway result
Backstage, Josh Matthews interviewed Mark Henry. He said the rap on Henry was he couldn't win the big one. Henry snatched the mic away and said he had 15 years of anger he was going to unleash on Orton. He turned on Matthews and said he wanted Matthews to come interview him in the ring when he won…
Vickie Guerrero was walking backstage all happy. She walked up on Matt Striker and said everybody in the locker room wanted to work with her. She said when Triple H got beat tonight, she would make a great COO. She kissed Striker and walked away…A video hyped Henry vs. Orton…
Shore's Slant: I think Henry might win. I change my prediction right now.
4. Mark Henry defeated Randy Orton for the World Heavyweight Championship at 13:04. Orton went right at Henry, who showed frustration. Orton hooked a sleeper, but Henry backed into the corner. Orton sat on the top and clubbed Henry. Henry just swatted him to the floor.
Henry rolled Orton in the ring at the corner. He pulled Orton backwards across the post in a cool looking spot. Henry stood on Orton's back at the ropes, and then let go so Orton supported all of Henry's weight. Ow. Henry methodically took Orton apart and said, "I told you it was going to be like this."
Orton dodged a splash and worked Henry in the corner. He hit several clotheslines and dropkick that dropped Henry. Henry rolled to the apron. Orton tried for his rope DDT, but Henry shoved him away. Henry hit a World's Strongest Slam, but Orton kicked out.
Henry sold frustration and dragged Randy to the corner. He climbed up for something, but Orton stuck his feet up. Orton hit the rope DDT and covered, but Henry grabbed the rope. Orton stalked him, but Henry kicked his leg. Orton sold the hell out of it and Henry did it again. Orton tried for an RKO, but Henry shoved him away and hit the World's Strongest Slam again for the win.
Post-match, Josh Matthews came to the ring and said, "Whether you like it or not, congratulations." Henry grabbed the mic away and said nobody believed he could do it. He told all the fans to not cheer because none of them thought he could do it either. He said he was going to be the most dominant champion in history. He welcomed everyone to the Hall of Pain and said he was never losing the championship. He tossed the mic down and walked out with the title…
Shore's Slant: An OK match followed by a GREAT promo. I was hoping for more in the match, but they have a lot of feud left. So I'll let it go for now. But Henry's promo afterward was the shit. He's the type of heel WWE needs.
Backstage, Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez were walking with John Laurinaitis. Del Rio told Johnny Ace after he won tonight, people had better start treating him with respect. Del Rio and Ric Rod walked off and John wished them luck. He said "good luck" to someone off camera, and it turned out to be Punk. Punk said it almost sounded legit. Johnny said when he said good luck, he meant it. Punk said, :Yeah, like good luck in your future endeavors. He walked off, and Johnny used his phone to text someone…
5. Kelly Kelly (w/Eve) defeated Beth Phoenix (w/Natalya) to retain the WWE Divas Championship at 6:24. Beth came out to a huge pop. Beth powered Kelly around. I missed why, but Eve attacked Natty, but Beth knocked Eve out. Kelly went for K2, but Beth flipped her over and hit a clothesline. Beth hit a top rope superplex on Kelly. Wow. Beth crawled over for a near fall that the crowd booed. Beth sold being woozy from the fight. She flipped Kelly up for a powerbomb or something. Kelly flipped over the top and hooked a Sunset Flip for the win…
Shore's Slant: Sigh. Not only is Kelly still champion, she is basically the babyface version of the WWE chicken shit heel. Cheap wins. Terrible. Buffalo would have exploded for the win. I understand Beth is a heel, but when was the last time you had a chance to move a crowd with a Divas match? What a shame.
MNM: "Bullshit" chants after Divas match.
A video hyped the lineage of the WWE Championship, and then turned into a hype video for Del Rio, and his match with Cena. Del Rio's music hit and he stormed to the ring. He manhandled Ric Rod and asked where his keys were. A car revved, and Cena's music hit. He drove Del Rio's car out instead. Lame.
As Justin Roberts started to make ring introductions, but Del Rio snatched the mic away. He said he didn't want to hear Robert's ugly English accent. He had Ric Rod do his intro. Cena took the mic and gave himself a stupid intro, but let Robert's say his name. Why did the challenger go last? I am so over Cena…
6. John Cena defeated Alberto Del Rio for the WWE Championship at 17:32. Cena grabbed a head lock to start. Oh boy. A very divided crowd heated up and had dueling cheers for and against Cena. Ric Rod tripped Cena, and the ref banned him from ringside. Del Rio hit a step-up enziguri to the back, and then slammed Cena into a railing on the floor. He worked the back for a moment, but then hit the armbreaker across the knees to work the arm.
Both men hit clotheslines on each other and the ref counted while the crowd chanted "You can't wrestle." Del Rio hit a clothesline on a charging Cena for a near fall, but followed with his miss through the second rope to the floor spot. Del Rio climbed back in and Cena hit the first four of the 5 Moves of Doom. He lifted for the AA, but Del Rio countered into a backstabber for two.
Cena came back with a slam and went to the top. Del Rio hit his run-up enziguri for two, and sold being frustrated. Del Rio hit a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.
Shore's Slant: Wait. Did John Cena just sell a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker? Wow. Nice job dude.
Del Rio tied Cena to the tree of woe, and went for a spear. Cena sat up and Del Rio hit the pole hard. Cena followed with the top rope Fameassor for two. Cena went for the AA again, but Del Rio reversed into a bridging German suplex for two. Del Rio hit a top rope senton that Cena curled up on for two.
Del Rio grabbed for the cross arm breaker, but Cena fought. He rolled Del Rio up and then powered him up for a powerbomb to break the hold. He followed with the AA. Ric Rod ran out and climbed on the apron. Cena grabbed him and drove him into the turnbuckle. He ran back over and hooked the STF. Del Rio held on for a while, but he finally tapped…
Shore's Slant: I'm disgusted. Honestly disgusted. This is unreal. I cannot believe John Cena won. I thought I was over him, but I'm not apparently because I don't even want to see the final match now. I would turn this off if I could. There is no learning. There is no drive to make things better. Just the same old, same old.
A video package hyped the main event…
7. CM Punk vs. Triple H in a No Disqualification match. If Triple H loses, he must resign as COO of WWE. Punk attacked right after Triple H did his spit thing on the ropes. They went to the floor and destroyed each other all over the ringside area. Hunter went for the Pedigree on the announce table. Punk escaped and tried for the GTS. Hunter escaped, and Punk slid away and into the ring. Hunter stared at him from the table, and then climbed in the ring.
They brawled in the ring and fell back to the floor. Triple H tossed Punk over the railing and they brawled through the crowd. Punk hit Hunter with a trash can. Hunter launched Punk into the light board. Punk flipped Hunter over the light board and then jumped off it onto Hunter. The crowd died as they battled back to the ring.
Punk hit Hunter with a chair in the ring at 9:33. He set the chair in the corner between the top two ropes. Hunter hit a spinebuster, and then threw Punk into the chair. Punk slid to the floor, and Hunter clipped his legs. They continued to battle on the floor until Punk left Hunter on the Spanish Announce table. He hit the big elbow from the top rope onto the table. Love that spot.
Both men staggered back to the ring. Miz and Truth ran out and attacked both men. They beat the hell out of them both, and then covered Hunter with Punk's arm. They made Scott Armstrong count, but Hunter kicked out. Miz tried to attack Armstrong, but Armstrong blocked it and punched back. Truth attacked him from behind and they destroyed the ref and tossed him to the floor.
Johnny Ace came out waving for someone to come to the ring, but no one did. Hunter and Punk woke up and attacked Miz and Truth. Miz took a spine buster and rolled to the floor, while Truth got tossed right on top of Armstrong. A ref ran out and Triple H hit a Pedigree. Laurinaitis had the ref check on Armstrong. Punk recovered and hit GTS, and Ace had the ref slid in and count.
For some reason, Truth broke the count and attacked Punk. Punk hit GTS on Truth and climbed back to the ring as Ace was texting on his phone. Punk jumped off the top rope, and Hunter kicked him and followed with a Pedigree for a great near-fall.
Kevin Nash came through the crowd and attacked Hunter. He kicked his ass in the ring and setup for the Jackknife, but Punk stopped him. So Nash Jackknifed him instead. Hunter rolled to the floor and Nash attacked him there. Nash cleared the announce table and turned into a sledgehammer shot. Hunter crawled back in the ring and hit another Pedigree for the win. He celebrated to end the show…
Shore's Slant: Breaking News: Vince Russo writing for WWE again. OK, not really, but that looked like every TNA PPV main event. There were bodies everywhere, ref bumps, people playing both sides. What a mess. I really have no idea what is going on at this point. And not in the good way.
An average PPV with a terrible last half. Tell you what, since you got cheated for $50, how about I offer you a steal at $1. Check out The Following Contest is a Dark Match on ebook. I promise it is nowhere near as confusing as the main event. Get your copy here. I'll have more in the members only audio with Jason Powell later, and I will be back with a blog tomorrow. Thanks for watching along tonight.
Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com or tweet me @TheShoreSlant with whatever is on your mind.
And read my first work of fiction: The Following Contest is a Dark Match available exclusively on ebook for all eReaders, smartphones, tablets, and PCs for only 99 cents.