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WWE Hell in a Cell
Aired live on pay-per-view
New Orleans, La. at New Orleans Arena
A video showed clips of previous Hell in a Cell matches as a voice, speaking as the cell, put over the match, and then hyped the two Hell in a Cell matches…The opening graphic aired, followed by the big pyro, and Michael Cole, Booker T, and Jim Ross checked in on commentary. The set tonight looks like the normal TV set but with a ton of chain link fencing surrounding the entrance…
Christian made his ring entrance as a video recapped Christian's attack on Sheamus from Smackdown. Attention suddenly switched to R-Truth and The Miz coming down the steps and sat at ringside flashing tickets. John Lauriniatis and security were already heading toward the ring and Johnny Ace climbed the wall. He had security escort Miz and Truth from the arena as they complained. Sheamus's music hit and my power flashed for just a second, sending my PPV box into a tizzy…
1. Sheamus defeated Christian in 13:30. When I finally got my box fixed, Sheamus and Christian battled on the top and both men dropped down allowing Christian to hit a pendulum kick and tornado DDT for two. Sheamus fought right back and hit a big knee lift. Sheamus headed for the corner and Christian stopped him. Sheamus kicked Christian away and then skinned the cat to get to the top. He hit his shoulder tackle and setup for the Brogue kick.
Christian ducked the kick and rolled to the apron. They battled with several reversals until both men ended up on the floor. Christian hit a spear on the floor, and Sheamus barely made the count. Christian hit another spear for a great near fall. Christian missed a diving head-butt, but escaped an Irish Cross attempt and hooked for the Kill Switch. Sheamus slipped out and drove Christian into the corner before hitting the Brogue kick for a pinfall victory…[C]
Shore's Slant: Good from what I saw of the opener. Sorry for the screw-up
Backstage, Matt Striker tried to interview Mark Henry, but Henry told him to shut up and faked Striker's voice. He asked if he could possibly win Hell in a Cell because he had never been in one. Henry cut a standard promo and said he would win tonight. Nothing special…
2. Sin Cara (Orriginal) defeated Sin Cara at 9:43. For the sake of clarity, Sin Cara will be the original, and Hunico will be…well, Hunico. The ring is bathed in the Sin Cara lights. Both men started by pointing to their own chests, proclaiming themselves as the real one. They started off with some chain wrestling with each man copying the other. The crowd was dead for the match. Even when Sin Cara hit a big dive onto the floor, the crowd hardly reacted.
Sin Cara followed the dive with a missed moonsault on the floor. Hunico went on offense and hit a senton in the ring. He tossed Sin Cara to the floor and hit a dive over the top rope and the crowd still did not care. Both men went for flying head-butts and knocked each other down as the crowd chanted, "Boring!" Sin Cara hit his great high cross body on the floor and that got a pop, but only a two count.
Sin Cara hit an arm drag off the top rope, followed by a Pele kick. He went for the senton, but Hunico moved. Sin Cara rolled through and ducked a clothesline. He jumped into a powerbomb lift, and flipped all the way through for a hard sunset flip for a pinfall victory. And no, the crowd did not care…
Shore's Slant: Decent match that the crowd shit all over. I feel bad for both Sin Caras for being in this storyline, even though one of them did it to himself. Where do they go from here though? Cole even pointed out that now Sin Cara can call himself Sin Cara because Hunico said so. So this feud is dead too.
3. Air Boom defeated Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero) to retain the WWE Tag Team Championships at 11:16. Kofi and Swagger started. The baby faces got early control and worked a number of tag team moves on both Swagger and Ziggler. Swagger drove Bourne into the ropes for the heels to take control. Kofi got a hot tag after just a moment, but Swagger hit a dirty shot on Kofi to allow them to keep control.
Swagger and Ziggler worked in and out on Kofi using strikes and rest holds. Swagger punched Bourne, who distracted the ref and allowed Ziggler to stomp Kofi. Ziggler tagged in and hit his jumping elbow for two. Swagger tagged in and hooked the ankle lock. Kingston flipped out to escape. He jumped for a tag, Swagger caught him, and Kofi reversed it into a DDT.
Both men got hot tags and Bourne went to work. The camera work when the tag occurred was great. Bourne took out Swagger and hit a standing moonsault on Bourne. Swagger climbed back in the ring and hooked the ankle lock on Bourne. Kofi hit a high cross body on Swagger, and Ziggler hit the Zig Zag on Kofi. Ziggler made a legal tag and put Bourne on Swagger's shoulders on the top rope. Bourne reversed into a hurricanranna, and Kofi grabbed Ziggler by the leg to prevent him from breaking up the pinfall. Post-match, Vickie berated Swagger while Air Boom celebrated…
Shore's Slant: Good match that should have been announced beforehand. I guess the swerve comes in as Vickie screams at Swagger and then Ziggler gets turned. And so much for making the tag division feel special. It was still a match with four singles wrestlers and nobody would have cared if the title changed hands.
The cell lowered to the ring and a video package setup the World Heavyweight Championship match…
4. Mark Henry defeated Randy Orton to retain the World Heavyweight Championship at 15:49. As soon as the bell rang, Orton attacked. Henry rolled to the floor and Orton tried to run him into the cage. Henry stopped him and tried to torpedo Orton into the cage. Orton slid off and Henry hit the cage. Orton drove him into the cage again and hit a clothesline that flattened Henry.
Orton battled Henry around the post and Henry pulled on Orton's shoulder against the post. Orton pulled back, causing Henry to face bump on the post. He stomped Henry backwards from the apron and then jumped off. Henry caught him and drove him into the cage twice and then into the post.
Henry pulled the top part of the steps off and backed halfway down the ring. Orton stood in the corner and Henry threw the steps at him. Holy shit! Orton ran away before the stairs could kill him. Henry picked him up and finally torpedoed Orton into the cage. He screamed, "Welcome to my hell," and choked Orton against the cage.
Henry rolled Orton into the ring and hit a splash for two. Henry lifted Orton and hit two backbreakers instead of the world's strongest slam, and then locked in a bear hug. Orton punched out, but Henry hit a head-butt that spilled Orton to the floor at 12:00.
Henry went for his slam on the stairs, but Orton grabbed the cage and climbed up. He stomped Henry from the cage and jumped off to hit a DDT on the stairs. He rolled Henry back in the ring and attacked Henry. Her hit a standing drop kick and then a great looking rope DDT. Orton hit the RKO, but Henry kicked out big time.
Henry continued to sell as Orton sat on his knees just staring. Finally Orton stood and backed into the corner for the punt kick. He charged at Henry, but Henry stood and hit the World's Strongest Slam for the win. Post-match Henry got the chair and hit another slam on Orton. He setup for the chair spot, but Orton moved his leg away at the last second. Orton attacked Henry with the chair out of the ring and all the way to the entrance. Henry kicked Orton in the leg to stop the attack and then ran backstage like he was fleeing Orton…
Shore's Slant: Good match, but it didn't need the cell. In fact, the cell didn't even feel all that important. They did the spots, but it didn't really matter as a whole, and it shows why a Hell in a Cell PPV is a bad idea. As far as the post-match attack from Orton, I didn't like it personally, but I understand why you do it. Henry running away was certainly the worst part, but if you are going to stay with this for a while, and it looks like you are, you have to get heat back on Orton somehow. I would have tried to find another way, but this is what I expected from WWE.
Backstage, Josh Matthews interviewed Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio that he isn't an animal, but like one, he gets more vicious when backed into a corner. He said John Cena and CM Punk would see a different side of him tonight and he would go to hell to get his WWE Championship back…
Cody Rhodes and his bagmen made their entrance. Cody trashed the fans watching at home and in the arena and said just like them, the Intercontinental Championship belt should be put to rest. He dropped the title belt into a paper bag and pulled out the original white Intercontinental Championship belt. He put it over as the belt worn by the greats and ran through some names. Cody said he would wear it with pride and defend it anytime, anywhere.
Before he could continue, John Laryngitis came out and said he was forced to come out by Triple H and announce that Cody would defend the title tonight, immediately, against John Morrison…
5. Cody Rhodes defeated John Morrison to retain the Intercontinental Championship at 7:20. Cody was forced the wrestle in his suit. Cody hid in the ropes and tried a sneak attack, but Morrison ducked and went to work. Cody sold being unable to move well in the suit and Morrison tossed Cody around. Cody rolled to the floor and Morrison hit a drop kick through the ropes. Cody grabbed the ring post and yelled for the ref to count. Morrison kicked him in the back to get him to let go.
They rolled back in the ring and Cody hit a mask-butt to take control. He hit several slams and then locked in a figure four. Morrison made the rope for the break, and Cody worked stomps and knee drops. Morrison suddenly woke up and attacked with strikes and kicks. Morrison hit the flipping reverse STO thing that Paul Burchill did for two.
Cody prevented Starship Pain by grabbing the leg. He grabbed for Cross Rhodes, but Morrison hit a Pele kick. Morrison went for the Chuck kick, but Cody ducked and hooked a roll-up for the pinfall victory…
Shore's Slant: Another one of those "good matches that suffered without a storyline." Morrison has lost all of his shine. The crowd barely reacted for any of his offense. What a waste.
Backstage, Triple H was on the phone. Johnny Ace ran up and said there was a problem. Hunter started to chew his ass for making matches, but Ace cut him off and said Miz and Truth were attacking Air Boom. They ran to the locker room and security finally dragged them off as Kofi and Bourne sold. Hunter screamed at Ace and said if he screwed up again, it would be Ace's ass…
6. Beth Phoenix (w/Natalya) defeated Kelly Kelly (w/Eve) for the WWE Divas Championship at 8:28. Beth was squatting and talking to Natty. Kelly walked up and punked her and then attacked, getting the best of Beth. She hit a clothesline off the top rope and went for her spinning head scissors, but Beth reversed into a back breaker.
Beth continued to work the back with an over the knee stretch. Beth dropped her and started to pick her up, but Kelly reversed into a roll up for a near fall I popped for because I thought they were going to finish it there again. Beth hit a slingshot suplex, but Kelly reversed the next lift into a hurricanranna pin attempt.
Kelly tried for her purposeful roll-up, but Beth fought out and they clumsily worked reversals until Kelly ducked a corner splash and Beth sold. Kelly climbed on the top rope and hit a terrible looking bulldog for a great near fall. Natty complained on the apron and Eve pulled her down. Natty killed Eve by throwing her into the wall and Beth hooked Natty's submission hold on Kelly.
Natty took a mic and talked junk to Kelly. Kelly wiggled a hand free and grabbed the bottom rope to cause the break. The ref chastised Beth for not breaking sooner, and Natty hit Kelly with the mic. She kept hitting the mic against the ring to confuse the ref and Beth hit the glam slam for the win…
Shore's Slant: Beth needed a microphone assist to beat Kelly Kelly? F*** this company. Are you kidding me? I just love when they find it appropriate to insult m y intelligence. Kelly Kelly couldn't fight her way out of a wet paper bag, but Beth needs a mic shot to bear her. I'm disgusted.
The cell lowered again and a video recapped the WWE Championship fueds…
7. Alberto Del Rio defeated CM Punk and John Cena in a Triple Threat Hell in a Cell match to win the WWE Championship at 24:08. Punk went right at Del Rio to start and Del Rio ran. Punk and Cena gave chase and then they finally attacked Del Rio, shoving each other away to get in their licks in the corner. Punk tried a roll-up on Cena and Del Rio took a powder.
Both men tried for their finishers and Punk kicked Cena to the floor. Del Rio ran in and Punk moved, causing Del Rio to slide through the ropes. Cena lifted him and Punk hit a suicide dive on both men and Cena took a powder. Punk got a chair from under the ring and Cena attacked him. Punk ran and stood on the stairs daring Cena to get him. Del Rio hit him from the side, driving him into the cage for Punk to powder.
Del Rio and Cena battled in the ring and Cena hit the five knuckle shuffle on Del Rio. He lifted for the AA and Punk ran in. He hit the roundhouse on Del Rio, and then a combo neck breaker/DDT on Cena and Del Rio respectively.
Punk set up a table on the floor and hit the high knee on Cena on the apron. He teased doing the bulldog off the apron, but Cena shoved him into the cage. Del Rio hit Cena with a chair, and then a back suplex on an open chair that destroyed the chair. Del Rio tied Cena to the tree of woe and went for a low spear, but Cena sat up and Del Rio hit the post.
Cena turned around for the top rope leg drop, but Punk hit the rope and Cena fell to the floor. Punk followed with a side Russian leg sweep on Del Rio for two. Del Rio hit a clothesline and locked in a rest hold. Punk fought until they were both in a kneeling position, and Cena hit a top rope leg drop on both men for two counts on both men.
Everybody hit big strikes, and Del Rio got another chair. He hit both men with the chair, and then made a chair sandwich with the babyfaces as bread. He hit his top rope senton and scored near falls on both men. Punk spilled Del Rio to the floor, and Cena hit the AA on Punk. Del Rio made the save and Cena drove him to the floor. Punk hit GTS and Del Rio made the save again, taking Punk out with a chair shot to the leg after ramming him into the stairs.
Later in the match, Punk tried for a top rope elbow on Cena, but Del Rio shoved him from the top into the table. Cena immediately grabbed Del Rio and locked on the STF. Ric Rod knocked out the ref and took the key. He opened the cage and ran in with a pipe, but Cena took him out and hit a nasty looking AA on the floor.
Del Rio grabbed the dropped pipe and hit Cena several times. He shoved Cena out the door and locked the door. He tossed the key under the ring and tried to pin Punk, but Punk kicked out. Punk mounted some offense, but Del Rio took the pipe and hit Punk. He stared at Cena for a moment, and then hit Punk again for the pinfall victory.
The cage started to raise and Cena slid under and into the ring. He attacked Del Rio, but then two guys in black hoodies jumped into the ring and the cell went back to the floor. The two men turned out to be Miz and Truth, and they beat the hell out of everybody, including refs and camera men, with bats and other objects.
Hunter and Johnny Ace ran out, but couldn't get in the cage. Ace went and told the guy at the control board to raise it, but he said he couldn't. The locker room emptied and tried to break into the cage along with police. Finally somebody brought some bolt cutters and opened the door. As soon as they did, Miz and Truth dropped to their knees and surrendered without a fight.
The cops handcuffed them and walked them out of the cell. Triple H attacked both men and had to be restrained. Security finally dragged Hunter away and let the police take Miz and Truth. The PPV ended 20 minutes before the top of the hour…
Shore's Slant: Where to begin. The match was terrible in that I just couldn't bring myself to care. I really wanted to, but nothing worked. It wasn't a bad match from the in-ring work mind you. I thought all three men looked good there. But I just couldn't get up for it.
I liked locking Cena out of the cage as something I don't ever remember seeing before. I was terrified for a moment they were going to have him break the cage, but at least the cell is still stronger than Cena in the WWE universe. I don't know why you have to move the title off Del Rio just to give it back to him two weeks later either. How much more can they cheapen this title?
And then the final segment was a mess. I knew we would get something, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind. They are going to use Hunter attacking Miz and Truth as the basis for some power move, but let's think about this for a second. According to the story, they don't work there anymore. That makes them fans. And what happens when a fan jumps in the ring. Check out YouTube if you need help with the answer.
But that doesn't even begin to explain how these guys got in after the attack on Air Boom. Why didn't Hunter take care of it then? It was obvious he thought Lauriniatis was a failure, so why not just handle it right then? So much wrong here. I liked the visual of it, but the story is very weak right now. I'll have more to say in the member's exclusive audio in a little while. Thanks for reading along with me tonight.
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