Dot Net Reader Mr. Ooh-La-La (yes, he says that's his legal name) attended the WWE No Mercy pay-per-view event in Portland, Ore. and filed the following report.

After waiting in the rain for about an hour, we were ushered into the rose garden. I forsake the merchandise stand, realizing wisely that I could get a dvd t-shirt combo of the event online as my souvenir of the event in about a month for the price of the t-shirt alone in the arena. The crowd was about 60 percent kids, and I even ran into my uncle and his grandson who was behind Jeff Hardy big time, with a sign and homemade arm bands in tow. He sneered when I told him what a big Edge fan I was. There were a few sparse empty seats pretty close, but all on the hard camera side, of course, I would say I saw about 40 total in the entire arena.

Dark Match

1. WWE Tag Team Champions Carlito and Primo defeated The Miz and John Morrison in 8:00. Carlito pinned Morrison after the back stabber. I correctly predicted to my girlfriend that Morrison would be featured in a dark match when I saw him on a local news feature the night before in our hotel. Her response? "Dark match? I thought the Rose Garden was an indoor arena?" Oh well. The crowd was hot for this match, and HATED The Miz, but appreciated the efforts of all, especially considering it was the first match.

Lillian Garcia welcomed us all and sang a beautiful rendition of the national anthem, per the norm, I would say.

Matt Hardy was quite over, but Mark Henry had a few fans as well. Tony Atlas seems like a bumbling fool at ringside.

It was quite strange being the only Beth Phoenix fan among the Pavlov's dogs who were cheering for the obviously non-talented Candice Michelle. God, she sucks. But, she was quite nice when I saw her and Lillian at the Hooter's restaurant near the airport, so I'll throw her that bone.

I was screaming for Kane to tear Rey Mysterio's mask off after he brained him with the chair shot to the end the match, but who can expect the criminally insane younger brother of The Undertaker to obey the rules of logic that the rest of us abide by? My guess is that he wants to torture Rey a little bit more.

I was quite happy to see the Raw side players, especially since it cut down on the following match. Randy Orton got a HUGE POP, which I hoe they can turn around once he joins Priceless and finally forms his faction. They seemed like they were turning MVP babyface, but alas he was just there to be a fall guy, and I wouldn't be surprised to see him never address this angle again. PUNK also got quite the reaction.

Batista vs. JBL was mercifully kept short. MY girlfriend is sensitive to loud noice, and I'm glad I told her to cover her ears before Batista's entrance because this guy is over HUGE! He really knows how to connect with the common man.

Undertaker vs. Big Show was perfect for the first installment of the feud. It was my first time seeing Taker live in my 20-plus years of being a fan (WWE doesn't come to Oregon that often), and his entrance/mystique is incredible, totally everything it's cracked up to be. Most of the people around me seemed to understand that the ref was stopping the match to protect The Undertaker, so it must of come of different on TV. 

Crowd in Portland was about 65 percent Triple H and 35 percent Jeff Hardy, but got more behind Jeff as the match wore on. Even my girlfriend, who thinks Triple H is a hot Thor type of guy and hates Jeff's "douchey facial hair" got behind Hardy in the end. Everyone seemed to respect Hardy's efforts and the loss didn't diminish Jeff at all. A large faction of fans behind us chanted "pass the torch!" throughout this match, and I can't say that I disagree with them entirely.

Of course, the main event was awesome, especially for me being a longtime Shawn Michaels fan and finally getting to see him wrestle live for the first time. Great back and forth action, though I was a bit disappointed that my fellow fans didn't join in on my "F--- You Jericho!" chant. These guys are both masters and the way they built it up, I was so sure that HBK was going to win that I was a little depressed for an hour afterwards, so much that I jokingly told Lillian and Candice to tell Chris Jericho that I was going to piss on his grave someday.

After the show, they handed out fliers for the Smackdown show in Portland on Feb. 17. Though my dreams of seeing HBK hold the World Title high above the ladder were dashed, it was still well worth the 50 bucks for 30 rows back and a perfect view of the TitanTron. I would recommend that everyone attend a WWE PPV if they have the chance, it's a great time.

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