TNA Live Event
Baton Rouge, La.
Report by Dot Net reader Thad

I read the previous report Biloxi and decided to see if the same would hold true for the show last night. While the wrestlers seemed to have a good time and no real sour attitudes showed, I cant say the same for the actual in ring work. I brought a friend along who had never even heard of TNA. She thought it was a pretty good show. Personally, I thought it was piss poor and felt like I was watching an episode of Impact. We arrived as the first match was just getting starting. We all know it takes women a while to get ready.

1. AJ Styles beat Matt Hardy. Typical face vs. heel match AJ won with a Faithbr....er...Style's Clash and went and around the ring and chatted with a few fans. Good match. I really wish TNA kept him at the top instead of weighing him down with stupid storylines.

After the match, I took a second to assess who I was sitting around and the crowd as a whole. I'll be generous and say 1,000 and not 100 people more if that. I've been to the other two shows they've held and this was a pretty bad showing. I just had to be stuck in a group of marks sitting down on the floor. The guy to my left was funny at first but when the alcohol kicked in he became annoying beyond reason.

2. Velvet Sky beat Sarita. For whatever reason, Earl Hebner came out to his own music while Jeremy Borash introduced him as the man that screwed Bret Hart. Fourteen years later and everyone to my knowledge has let that go except this man and it really leaves a sour taste in my mouth that he milks this like he set the entire thing up. I explained it to my friend and she thought it was pretty sad for an old man to be doing this. But I digress.

Velvet won in an okay match. Sarita is pretty ripped in person. There were some blown spots and the horny guys in the crowd just had to let it be known. At one quiet point in the match, some guy yelled out, "Wait! She's not an American!!" and started and USA chant. After Velvet won, she did her little second rope grind towards our side which I have to admit is better in person.

3. Matt Morgan beat Hernandez. I must say that on TV, Morgan doesn't look to be seven feet tall. But in person, he's huge. The drunks around me where yelling at Hernandez to get his lawnmower. I really hope that someone with brains in TNA stumbles upon my report and realizes that this isn't the type of heat wrestlers need coming at them. Hernandez dominated a lot of the match but he missed a few spots and Morgan had to cover for him. He won with his spinning clothesline and pushed Hernandez out the ring. When Matt left the ring, he went and hugged somebody or maybe planted a kiss on a girl.

After the match, JB came out and cut to intermission and half the crowd had backstage passes. I don't even bother to lose my voice for one. Matt Morgan was signing programs and JB mentioned that Earl turned 79 Friday night. That only made the whole "Damn Right I Did It" even worse as he signed those shirts kids were wearing. I picked up some Pope Shades for $10. While I sat and talked to my friend about TNA a bit, Mr. Anderson came out and sat on the front row on the side I was on. He stayed there until his match that came up last which I thought was a nice gesture for him to do.

Don West was pimping some specials in the ring and walked around talking with fans. The drunk next to us asked him how much it would cost to get in the ring and take a bump. He said if you pay $20 to take a picture with Mr. Anderson after his match, you can ask him. The guy thought Don was serious and I laughed so hard at that. Lights dimmed and the second half of the show was underway.

4. Beer Money beat British Invasion. The Brits came out to some decent heat. Beer Money came out to a nice pop that grew because everyone realized Storm wore an LSU jersey (which he does every time). This was match of the night because it was the only one that really got the crowd hot. Back and forth. They won when Magnus was dumped from the ring and Williams took a DUI for the pin.

Storm had a mini beer bash with some fans at ring side. I also noticed that when there's somewhat of a high impact move in the ring, the wrestlers spat all over the place. I don't know if it's the actual hits or them showing off but it's disgusting. As the night went on, spit started flying in the crowd and landing on people. They should really tone that down.

JB announced that Tommy Dreamer would be out for a match but as he cut a promo in the ring, Bully Ray came down and hit him with a chain. He cut a promo on some fat chicks in the crowd and challenged someone to a match. Devon came out and chased him off as Earl Hebner came down.

5. Devon beat Bully Ray. Ray pushed Earl and he called him a "punk ass" and asked Mick Foley to come down. Funny how Earl started out begging for heat with the "Damn Right I Did It" and now gets a pop for standing up to Ray. Foley says he'll be guest enforcer and makes it a No DQ match. It was back and forth until Devon missed a splash and Ray took over with strikes in the corner.

Ray dominated until he got physical with Foley and got a mouth full of sock after Dreamer ran in and hit him. He turned and took a chokeslam from Devon. Dreamer came out to celebrate and hug Devon and Foley after the match. Why did he leave again? I have no idea. It was a No DQ match after all.

6. Mr. Anderson beat Jeff Jarrett. Jeff came out and the guy next to us tried to jump the railing to get his hands on him. His girlfriend of all people pulled him back before he made the biggest mistake of his life. Anderson came out and asked for his "assholes" to show some support.  Jeff did about eight minutes worth of stalling until Brian Hebner had enough and took off his ref shirt. He showed off after a successful hip toss. I could help but think he practiced his split after seeing Santino do it on WWE on a weekly basis. The moves were way too familiar. But the crowd ate it up. It was a good back and forth match. Anderson won with a mic check.

After the match, JB came out and Anderson made him do like ten different versions of announcing him as the winner. He said for $20 I can put my arm around you and we can take pictures like assholes. I skipped it this year. I took one with Foley the first time they came and Jeff Hardy the second time.

Notes: Overall, I would say that TNA kind of fell apart. I think part of it had to do with the crowd being smaller than the two precious years. But they made an effort and I can appreciate that. I really hope they take a second look at how they want Mexican America or whatever they're called to draw heat. And the flying loogies have to stop too. I'm not sure if I'll go next year. There was about 30 minutes of stalling the whole night. That's entirely too much. My friend enjoyed it and said she'd watch it on Thursday nights. I wished her best luck with that because I can't turn my brain level down that low.

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