TNA Impact on Spike TV
Taped in Orlando, FL

[Q1] A graphic said, “The following message has been provided by the Main Event Mafia.” Shit, if that is not supposed to be like the nWo, I am not sure what is. The video was narrated by the Mafia pimping themselves...

Kurt Angle was shown in Jeff Jarrett’s office setting up shop. Jim Cornette came in and wondered what Angle was doing in Jarrett’s office. Angle said they were taking over the show and checked to see if everyone was in their position...

The opening video aired. Kevin Nash as “Chet Lemon” and Booker T as “Black Snow” welcomed us to the show. Backstage, Sharmell interviewed ODB. She said she would be facing the entire Kongtourage. In the ring, Scott Steiner handled the ring introductions by reading off of a piece of paper. He had trouble reading the names of the Kongtourage, so he continuously called them bitches...

1. Awesome Kong, Rhaka Khan, Raisha Saeed, and Sojourner Bolt defeated ODB in a handicap match in 3:28. ODB held her own pretty impressively. This could get old, but Booker and Nash are hilarious on commentary. In case you are wondering, Booker is doing “announcer voice” tonight. Kong hit the Implant Buster for the win...

Twill’s Two Cents: This is hilarious.

Backstage, Cornette kept getting pissed at Kurt. Jeremy Borash said he would handle it. Cornette mockingly told him to do so. JB tried to end the show but Angle said he countered the unfair booking by having Team 3D vs. Sting in a handicap match.

[Q2] JB said Mick Foley was coming was backup. Angle wondered if it was two homeless guys and a dirty sock. He said JB was acting weird since Karen left. JB said he had feelings for Kurt, but “not like that.” Angle said JB was creepy to him. He said he had a show to run... [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Well, I am laughing my ass off, so at least that is a positive reaction so far to the show.

Sharmell was backstage interviewing the referees. She asked them what they would do for a living after they are crippled by Booker tonight. Rudy Charles said he was an amateur wrestler...

Scott Steiner humorously handled the inductions. He then took Booker’s job at the announcer table...

2. Booker T defeated a bunch of referees in 3:52. When Andrew Thomas tagged in, Nash asked, “I wonder what it’s like to be a 40 year old virgin both in life and in the ring?” Booker beat the crap out of both opponents and hit the Bookend for the win. After the match, Nash said, “Amazing how much he resembles Black Snow.” ...

Twill’s Two Cents: Seriously, this is funny. If you can suspend belief for a little while, listening to Nash and Booker will crack you up. They cannot do this every week, but it is different and entertaining. TNA should keep doing this.

After the match, Booker grabbed Earl Hebner. Shane Sewell hit the ring pretty quickly and promptly got his ass kicked by Booker. A Main Event Mafia video aired...

Backstage, Angle was told through his headset that there was a hot chick in the crowd. “Can you get her to show her boobs?” Sting approached Kurt and wondered what the hell he was doing. He wondered if Kurt wanted “Sting friend” or “Sting foe” at the pay-per-view... [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: The seed is officially planted for Sting’s turn on the Mafia, or the other way around.

[Q3] Sharmell interviewed Matt Morgan backstage about his match with Petey Williams. Petey has to tie one hand behind his back. Sharmell mocked his chances. Morgan bragged that he was the biggest American Gladiator and his DNA was sent to space. Damn, he’s having a better year than The Twilling. Actually, he’s not. Morgan mocked Petey and talked crap to Abyss...

Steiner referred to the crowd as “rednecks and white trash.” Cute. Booker is back at the announce table in “exhausted commentator” voice. Steiner referred to Canada as a “suckhole country.” He told Barack Obama to “not build a wall to keep Mexicans out, but to build a wall to keep Canadians from coming in.” ...

3. Matt Morgan defeated Petey Williams in 4:08. Booker made the point both Jason and I continue to make: why does Petey still dress like Scott Steiner? Morgan went to his knees to mock Petey. Petey hit a dropkick. Morgan heeled the crowd over and over again. The referee untied Petey and he went to work on Morgan and Steiner. Morgan then won the match a scissors kick...

Twill’s Two Cents: Petey looked good in his brief offensive barrage. Wait, am I trying to seriously call this? This is a joke of show, so I’ll treat it as such.

[Q4] After the match, Morgan hit the Hellevator and celebrated with Steiner. The Front Line hit the ring (some of them) and Booker left the announce table. He beat up Consequences Creed and announced it as he was doing it. The Mafia’s music hit as the show went to commercial... [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Well, they are not exactly making the young guys look good tonight. This is funny for one night, but is it doing anyone any long term good?

Nash and Booker ran down what has happened tonight. Team 3D came out to the ring with their IWGP tag team championship belts. Ray took the microphone and said he and Devon felt bad for Sting for having to face them tonight. He asked Sting why he did nothing when the Mafia beat Ray’s brains in. He said he or Devon would become the TNA Champion... [C]

4. Team 3D defeated Sting by disqualification in a handicap match in 10:27. Steiner said Team 3D hailed from, “Dunkin Donuts in the state of Obesity.” Steiner, Booker, and Nash put over Sting as he came out to the ring. Sting started with Devon but wanted to face Brother Ray, so Ray tagged in. They jawed a little bit before locking up.

[Q5] Admittedly, both Sting and Ray came to work tonight. Devon tagged in. A “Let’s go Devon, let’s go Sting” chant broke out. Sting left the ring to regroup. Steiner spoke briefly with Sting to give him some advice. Ray attacked Steiner and Steiner retaliated... [C]

Back from commercial, Sting was in control of Devon. He hit a snap suplex for a two count. Ray tagged in and scored a nearfall. He then hit a Rock Bottom but Steiner distracted Earl Hebner. Kurt Angle came down and gave Ray a low blow. Sting hit the Death Drop (I think) for a two count.

Sting attacked Devon, but Ray gave his team the advantage. They hit a modified Doomsday Device. Angle jumped into the ring, causing the disqualification. The Mafia, minus Nash, beat on Team 3D in the ring. Booker brought a table into the ring. Mick Foley’s music hit. Foley, Abyss, and LAX came down to take out the Mafia. Nash instructed the Mafia to “live to fight another day” and Sharmell sent us to break... [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Best match of the night so far (of course, that is not saying much). I like that the Mafia has vulnerabilities, I do not like that the Front Line is not getting the rub from this angle.

[Q6] Mick Foley said the night had been amusing, but it was over. Unfortunately, the show’s music kept playing so you could barely hear him. He said Hernandez would get another World Title shot at another time. He then put Abyss in a weapons match against Steiner where only Abyss could use weapons. Finally, he booked Angle in a handicap match vs. LAX...

Twill’s Two Cents: Why is Foley an hour late for the show?

Backstage, the regular announcers were wondering what the hell was going on. Cornette said everything was back to normal and he had something for Tenay and West... [C]

Tenay and West welcomed us back to the show. They ran down the card for the Against All Odds pay-per-view. Cornette’s announcement was that Shane Sewell would face Booker T at the pay-per-view...

Twill’s Two Cents: That was the big announcement? Powell just heeled me in an email; is that a big announcement too?

5. Abyss defeated Scott Steiner in a weapons match by disqualification in 9:04. The rules state Abyss can use weapons but Steiner cannot. Steiner attacked Abyss as he entered the ring. Abyss quickly gained the advantage. I have a question; why is there a hockey stick under the ring? Why the hell would they need a hockey stick? Is Petey Williams bored before the show? They fought to the floor. Abyss set Steiner up in front of the Spanish announce table wall. Of course, Abyss ran himself through it; identical to the spot Brother Ray did weeks back... [C]

[Q7] Steiner scored a nearfall back in the ring coming back from the commercial. Steiner grabbed a chair, but the referee reminded him he could not use it. Abyss punched the chair into Steiner’s face. He grabbed a garbage can and nailed Steiner over the head for a two count. Steiner kicked Abyss in the balls and the referee reacted, but did not disqualify him.

Steiner grabbed the ring bell. Abyss countered with a chokeslam onto the garbage can, but Steiner kicked out again. Abyss was going to hit Steiner with the bell, but Steiner countered with a pipe shot, causing the referee to call for the non-existent bell.

After the match, Steiner attacked Abyss, but Suicide’s music hit and he swung out to the rescue of Abyss. Not sure if they plan on using Kaz, but that is obviously Christopher Daniels. The lights went out again and Suicide was gone. Abyss was announced the winner by disqualification... [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: That was actually an entertaining bout. The ending was predictable, but it was nice to see Abyss get back to his hardcore strengths. I am curious to see what they do with Suicide and who they settle on to play the character.

A vignette for Brutus Magnus aired. He will debut next week. I am sure J-Pow is counting down the days and minutes...

Lauren interviewed a bunch of actual rednecks and a bull backstage. They are promoting the reality cowboy show, which debuts on Spike TV after Impact. Beer Money approached the bull riders and mocked them...

Twill’s Two Cents: Way to get away from the “good ol’ boy” stereotype TNA.

[Q8] 6. LAX vs. Kurt Angle in a handicap match. Homicide began the match with Angle.

Twill’s Two Cents: I will give TNA the benefit of the doubt here by saying I hope they booked this handicap match to plant the seeds for a future title match between Angle (who may win the title at the pay-per-view) and Hernandez (who was just granted another title shot).

Angle powered Homicide back into the corner. Homicide countered with a hurricarana. Hernandez tagged in and scored the first nearfall of the match. Hernandez closelined Angle over the top rope. He followed with a dive over the top rope... [C]

Angle had the advantage on Homicide coming back from the break. Angle tried to hit the Olympic Slam. Homicide countered into a Gringo Cutter, but Angle countered that into an ankle lock. Homicide fought out and hit a DDT. Homicide made the tag but Hebner did not see it, so he forced Hernandez out of the ring.

Twill’s Two Cents: I always hated that spot. The referee should be watching the entire match and not be an idiot by only focusing on one guy.

Homicide hit a Dragon Screw leg whip but Angle was game. They continued to counter each other impressively and Angle victory rolled through into an ankle lock. Angle positioned Homicide in the center of the ring. Hernandez just came into the ring and kicked Angle’s ass. Hebner stood there like a goon and did nothing about it.

Hernandez went for the Border Toss but Angle threw him out of the ring. Homicide rolled Angle up for a nearfall. He then hit the Gringo Cutter but did not go for the win. He went for the Gringo Killer but Angle countered with the Olympic Slam for the win...

[Overrun] A shot of someone’s back was shown in a pre-taped segment. “Main Event Mafia, let me introduce you to the real Samoa Joe.” Joe turned around with Samoan face paint on...

Twill’s Two Cents: I hate handicap matches. One guy should never beat two, period. So, Angle should not have won this match, especially clean. I like the “reintroduction” of Joe. He should have been the face of the company, which I mentioned in Dot Net Weekly, and hopefully they are going back down that road again.

What did you think of this show? It was different and entertaining at times. Feel free to let me know by emailing me at dotnetrich@gmail.com.

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