TNA Impact on Spike TV
Taped in Orlando, Fla.

[Q1] A video recapped last week’s show... This week’s show is titled “Take my wife...Please!”... Backstage, Jeremy Borash counted while Kurt Angle did squats. Karen Angle interrupted and said she wanted to start over with Kurt. He said it would be simple if she would keep her mouth shut and do as she’s told. Kurt said he knew he could live without her. She teared up and left the room. Angle went back to his squats and said, “Kevin Nash” repeatedly while Borash counted... The opening montage aired... Mike Tenay and Don West hyped several matches and noted that Angle would face Nash for the first time ever...

Booker T walked to the ring for a promo. He called out Robert Roode, but Payton Banks came out instead. She said Roode wasn’t in the building but asked her to deliver a message for him. Banks slapped Booker across the face. Traci Brooks ran out and attacked Banks until security ran out and pulled them apart... A video aired of Team 3D struggling to stick to their diets at a buffet... A video teased a match for after the break... [C]

Powell’s POV: Booker wore a suit to the ring and looked better than Roode usually does even though the latter performer is supposed to be playing the rich guy role. Also, TNA is going out of their way to hype upcoming matches in hopes of hooking the audience that’s been tuning for the first two segments but disappearing as the show goes on. Good strategy.

Backstage, Borash interviewed Scott Steiner and Petey Williams while Rhaka Khan looked on. Steiner scolded Petey for interrupting him. Steiner pretended like he didn’t know Sonjay Dutt’s name and added that he needs to join the Hair Club for Men...

[Q2] 1. Scott Steiner and Petey Williams (w/Rhaka Khan) beat Black Machismo and Sonjay Dutt in 8:00. Steiner and Petey brought their briefcases to ringside. At 1:30, So Cal Val walked over and checked on Machismo after he was knocked to the floor, but Khan walked over and intimidated Val. [C] After the break, Khan ran Lethal into the steps at ringside. Late in the match, Steiner struck Sonjay with one of the briefcases. Petey hit the Canadian Destroyer on Sonjay and got the pin. You know, because heels don’t win clean in TNA...

Powell’s POV: The briefcase gimmick is ridiculous. In case you forgot, they contain contracts that give one of them a TNA Title shot and the other an X Divison Title shot. They won these sometime late last year and I don’t even remember which wrestler holds which contract, nor do I care anymore.

Additional video footage aired of Team 3D struggling with their diets. Johnny Devine tested them by bringing them to a candy shop. Now why in the hell would he do that if they were struggling at the buffet?...

[Q3] [C] Backstage, Borash startled Eric Young, who was hiding from monsters like Rellik and Black Reign. Kaz showed up and showed up with photos of famous movie monsters and said they’re all fake. Kaz added that Rellik and Black Reign are just alter-egos of the men behind the makeup. He said somewhere inside Eric has an alter-ego... More Team 3D footage aired. Brother Ray tried to talk Devon out of eating ribs. Enough already!...

Curry Man and Shark Boy came to the ring for another match with Team 3D. This week, both members of Team 3D failed to meet the weight limit. They stripped down to their boxers (Ray kept his shirt on). They really hammed it up by removing socks they had stuffed in their shorts, but they still couldn’t make weight...

Backstage, Karen sobbed while Borash comforted her. A.J. Styles showed up, consoled her, and said he’d talk to Kurt... [C]

Powell’s POV: We’re 45 minutes into the show and we’ve had three pre-taped Team 3D skits, one in-ring Team 3D skit, two skits with Karen Angle, and one totally forgettable eight-minute match.

[Q4] Shark Boy and Curry Man were still in the ring. Shark Boy cut another Stone Cold promo that was designed to get the crowd to do the “What?” gimmick, but they didn’t bite. He issued an open challenge to any two wrestlers, which led to the following match...

2. Curry Man and Shark Boy beat Black Reign and Rellik at 2:06. Team 3D interfered when Devine hit Curry with a kendo stick, but he managed to kick out of a pin attempt. Kaz ran out, took what appeared to be a nightstick from Devine, and struck Reign with it. Shark Boy hit the Stunner on Reign and scored the pin. Afterward, the heels ganged up on Curry, Shark, and Kaz. Eric Young ran out for the save. He threw punches at Team 3D, but he ran away when the monsters approached him. Ray, still in his boxers, powerbombed Kaz through a table...

Backstage, Crystal caught up with Roode, who said the legend of Booker T (dramatic pause) falls... [C] A video recapped the VKM breakup... At ringside, Tenay and West hyped the debut of TNA Rough Cut. They said cameras would follow Kip James and B.G. James 24 hours a day. They were interrupted by Roode’s music. Roode walked to the ring with Banks for a promo.

[Q5] Roode called out Booker. He told him to come down and face the fist that has “your skanky wife’s blood on it.” Booker ran out and they brawled in and around the ring. Booker was wining the brawl until Banks distracted him. Roode handcuffed Booker to the ropes and removed his belt. Brooks ran out and speared Roode from behind, but Banks grabbed her and handcuffed her to the ropes. Roode and Banks whipped Booker and Brooks. Here comes the strap match... A bumper hyped the main event... [C]

A video that featured comments from Kaz, Chris Sabin, Kurt Angle, and others hyped the Rhino vs. James Storm Elevation X match.

Powell’s POV: A good video, but they made the mistake of showing Styles taking a bump off the scaffold from a previous match. Some things are best left to the imagination.

Backstage, Crystal held the mic while James Storm and Jackie bickered. Storm complained about being booked in a ladder match. Jackie said he needs to face his fears before the Elevation X match...

Powell’s POV: Storm’s delivery was really strong. Maybe it’s time to abandon the drunken cowboy gimmick and turn him into a serious heel because he really showed something on the mic in this interview even though the content was ho-hum.

3. James Storm (w/Ms. Jackie) beat Eric Young in a ladder match for the World Drinking Championship in 5:00. They brawled briefly before the show went to break. [C]

[Q6] At ringside, Storm kicked a ladder that was set up on the ring and guard rail into Young. Storm headed back to the ring and tried to climb the ladder, but he couldn’t do it. Young recovered, but Storm superkicked him onto the ladder that was still resting on the ring and guard rail. Storm tried to climb the ladder, but he needed Jackie’s help. Afterward, Rhino ran out and Gored Storm. Rhino picked up the drinking title belt and left the ring... Another plug for the main event... [C]

Powell’s POV: A ladder match for a drinking title? I’d rather drink beer to win a ladder title.

Backstage, Styles tried to talk Angle into treating his wife better. Kurt was colder than ever and referred to Karen as “a bitch.” Styles told him to take it back. Kurt mocked him for making that request and told him the conversation is over...

[Q7] 4. Awesome Kong (w/Raisa Saed) beat Angelina Love (w/Velvet Sky) at 3:43. Before the match, a pre-taped shot aired from “moments ago” of Roxxi Laveaux saying she had a premonition that Love would be hurt. Kong finished her off with the Awesome Bomb. Afterward, ODB walked out and cut a promo at ringside. Gail Kim ran out and attacked Kong from behind, but that didn’t work out so well. ODB ran in and was stomped by Kong. ODB and Gail eventually teamed up and tossed Kong over the top rope. Once Kong was gone, they went back to pushing and shoving... [C]

Ring introductions for the main event took place. Angle was accompanied by Tomko, who made his first appearance of the night, and Styles. Nash came out with Christian and Samoa Joe.

[Q8] 5. Kurt Angle (w/Styles, Tomko) beat Kevin Nash (w/Joe, Christian) in a non-title match in 13:00. At 3:00, the sidekicks started fighting at ringside so the referee sent them all backstage. [C] At 8:00, Angle locked Nash in the figure-four. Nash sold the hold while the announcers discussed his knee problems. Nash slammed the mat twice and I thought a male heel champion had just won clean for the first time in ages, but then he rolled Angle over to reverse the hold until Angle reached the ropes. Nash chokeslammed for a pop. He followed up with a side-slam for a nearfall.

Nash went for the Jackknife powerbomb, but Kurt slipped out and locked him in the ankle lock until Nash kicked him off. Angle charged at Nash, who moved, causing Angle to dive through the ropes and into the corner post. He came up holding his neck. Karen ran out to check on Kurt, who shoved her to the mat. Tenay said he thought it was an inadvertent move by Angle.

Styles ran out and checked on Karen. Referee Earl Hebner headed to ringside to admonish Styles for returning. Nash hit the Jackknife powerbomb and pinned Angle, but Hebner was still at ringside telling Styles to take Karen to the back. Nash turned his attention to getting Hebner back in the ring. Angle recovered and hit Nash with a low blow and rolled him up for a pin. Hebner saw it and charged back inside the ring to make the three count...

Powell’s POV: They had time for all those silly Team 3D skits, but they didn’t have time to let Nash hype the main event match? Isn’t this the same guy who was getting nonstop camera time when he was playing a comedy figure because they loved his gift of gab so much? The match itself was a pleasant surprise. Angle didn’t need interference to win for a change, but he still needed a distraction. Even so, at least his own move, albeit a low-blow, was responsible for him winning a match for a change.

Check back on Friday morning for my TNA Impact Hitlist.

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