12/6 Shore's TNA Impact Wrestling live coverage: Final hype for Final Resolution, major star returns, Devon vs. Samoa Joe for the TV Title, and Bobby Roode, Kazarian, and Christopher Daniels vs. Jeff Hardy, James Storm, and AJ Styles
By Chris Shore
TNA Impact Wrestling on SpikeTV
Aired live from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Florida.
[Q1] The recap video aired, followed by the pyro, and Mike Tenay, Todd Kennelly, and Tazz checked in on commentary. Bobby Roode, Christopher Daniels, and Bobby Roode made their entrances in street clothes. Kaz put them over as the best of the old group Fortune. Roode said he would beat Hardy because he had invested in himself and the title. He said sometimes it pays to be rude. Daniels said he wanted to talk to AJ Styles and called him out for a little "blah, blah, blah."
Styles made his entrance and said he knew what Daniels was going to say. He said Daniels was jealous of him because he couldn't match up. He said on Daniels best day and his worst, Daniels still couldn't beat him. Daniels said Styles was angry because he was finally figuring out what they have always known, Styles is nothing but a loser. Styles said the problem is Daniels talks too much and tackled him. Daniels's partners attacked AJ until AJ's partners ran out to make the save…
A video recapped Austin Aries and his comments toward Brooke Hogan last week. Backstage, Aries said his comments had nothing to do with Brooke or Bully; it was about getting revenge on Hogan. He said he was going to win the X Division title to get his World title back, but Bully prevented it. He said now it was personal and he wanted Bully at the PPV. He said Hogan better make the match or he will keep pushing buttons until he gets what he wants…Samoa Joe was shown heading toward the ring for next…
Shore's Slant: Decent opening I guess, but it didn't light a fire for me. Daniels and Styles was literally blah, blah, blah; and the Aries thing was flat. Nothing was particularly bad, but it wasn't particularly good either.
[Q2][C] Ring introductions occurred for the TV title match. Devon came out alone…
1. Devon vs. Samoa Joe for the TNA Television Championship. The two went to the floor quickly and Devon used the stairs to take control. He rolled Joe in the ring for a splash and two. Joe came right back and started working a squash on Devon, hitting moves and posing for the crowd. He hooked the rear choke, and some blonde jumped up on the apron, distracting Earl Hebner. DOC sneaked in from behind and hit Joe with the hammer. Devon covered for the win…
Devon defeated Samoa Joe for the TV Championship at 3:56.
Post-match, Devon, DOC, and a group of presumed strippers celebrated at ringside…Backstage, Brooke Hogan was talking to someone and said, "I'm so happy the contracts are done girl. See you soon." She walked off with nothing more…[C]
Shore's Slant: You should have seen this coming a mile away. I hate it, but I had already made my peace with it before the show started. We'll see what they do with it.
[Q3] Mickie James made her ring entrance and thanked everyone for their support. She said when she realized she was going to be OK, she also realized she wasn't satisfied, and so she made a promise, and this Sunday she will keep her promise by becoming the new Knockouts Champion. Tara and Jesse cut her off, and Tara called her "missy" and said there was no way. She started to say more, but Velvet Sky's music hut and she came to ring.
Tazz had a vocal orgasm and Velvet looked like she had work done to her face. Could have been makeup I guess, but I'm betting at least Botox. Velvet thanked Brooke for getting her back, and wished them both luck this Sunday. She said 2013 would be the year of Velvet Sky as Knockouts champion…[C]
Shore's Slant: Pop quiz: What is the most effective way to take heat off a match? Answer: Look down the road to the next match. Good to see Velvet back, but that was terrible timing.
The Robbies were in the ring. The tag champs were out next…
2. Robbie E and Robbie T vs. Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez. E and Chavo started. Chavo started in control. But E distracted the ref, allowing T to grab Chavo and drag him into the corner. The heels worked in and out on Chavo until Chavo hit a northern lights suplex on E and made the tag. The match broke down, and T got clotheslined to the floor. Chavo hit the frog splash for the win…
Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez defeated Robbie E and Robbie T at 3:52.
[Q4] Post-match, Joey Ryan made his ring entrance talking garbage. Matt Morgan slid into the ring from behind the champs and took them both out with clotheslines to the back of the head. Ryan made a dick joke to close the segment…
The strippers danced around a pole in the Aces and Eights hideout as Devon and the others sat around with women in their lap. He told DOC to relax because he got his title back, and DOC had Kurt Angle handled later. He said they needed to throw a dart. The VP cut him off and said someone paid for a hit. He pulled a stack of money out of an envelope and said, "Money talks, bullshit walks, and we will be doing a lot of talking tonight." The segment closed with two of the strippers rubbing on each other while the others watched…[C]
Shore's Slant: Well, they managed to stack the sleaze on top of itself. Joey Ryan's character being mixed with Morgan still makes absolutely no sense. I'm sure the fans who think the Attitude Era was the "be all end all" of wrestling loved the Aces and Eights thing, but it just seemed gratuitous to me.
A video recapped D-Lo saying yes to Wes Brisco last week. Backstage, Wes and Garett Bischoff sucked up to Angle and he returned the favor. Angle said he had DOC and they promised to have his back…Chavo and Hernandez cut a promo and said Morgan and Ryan had their attention and they would kick them in the face this Sunday instead of attacking from behind. He was cut off before he could finish…Kurt Angle made his ring entrance…[C]
Shore's Slant: Nice production there guys.
DOC made his ring entrance…
[Q5] 3.Kurt Angle vs. DOC. Angle attacked as soon as DOC hit the ring and immediately started working the leg. DOC hit a big clothesline to take control. Angle took a painful looking spill to the floor and DOC followed to toss Angle around. Back in the ring, Angle hit a kick and a missile drop kick from the second rope. He hit the three German suplexes, but DOC escaped the Angle slam..
Angle went for the Germans again, but DOC grabbed the top rope on the third and back kicked for a low blow. DOC hit a chokeslam for two, but Angle came right back with an Angle slam. He hooked the ankle lock, but one of the Aces and Eights ran in to cause the DQ…
Kurt Angle defeated DOC by disqualification at 5:26.
Post-match, Aces and Eights surrounded the ring. Garett, Wes, and Samoa Joe ran out and made the save. Angle took a mic and said they liked to run in packs, well he had a pack there. He said at Final Resolution, it would be the four of them vs. any four from Aces and Eights…
Backstage, Hulk Hogan was on the phone with Joseph Parks and told him to call Al Snow at OVW before trying to work there. He hung up and chastised Bully Ray for not knocking. Bully said last week he asked for a match with Aries, but this week he was demanding it. Hogan acted an idiot and said because he saw the bigger picture, the answer was no. Bully said he bet before the end of the night, the answer would be yes because he was taking over. Hogan said, "Be careful what you wish for." Bully left and Hogan told someone to get Bully a Midol…[C]
Shore's Slant: I was thinking a six man with Angle and his boyz at the PPV, but the addition of Joe should be fun. Eight man tags are a mess as a rule, but I'm guessing we get a turn out of Wes here. Hogan was awful here. I mean completely terrible. Bully had the right tone, but Hogan did his best to kill that segment.
James Storm talked to Jeff Hardy backstage and told him he had his back, but he also wanted to get his hands on Roode. He walked off, and we got the stupid Hardy internal monologue. Hardy said as champion, everyone's words seemed fake. He said it was just him and the monsters. Dear lord…
[Q6] 4. Kenny King vs. Kid Kash vs. Zema Ion to become the number one contender for the X-Division Championship. Everybody flew around the ring with nobody having the advantage for more than a moment. Ion shoved Kash to the floor, but King hit the Royal Flush for the win…
Kenny King became the number one contender for the X Division Championship at 5:58.
Bully Ray was walking backstage talking on the phone and said he was pissed because Hogan was stubborn. He said he was going to the ring and take over until he got what he wanted. He told the person he didn't care, and then said "fine" before hanging up and storming off…A video teased a debut for someone or team on 1-3-13…[C]
Shore's Slant: That X Division match started so fast and stayed that way I had no chance. Lots of fun there though, check out that match. I can only assume Bully was talking to Brooke. And the video was played earlier, but I wasn't sure if it was a TNA thing or a SpikeTV thing. It's an Impact thing. Something about "their way will be paved in their own blood." God only know what that is.
A video recapped the Hogan/Aries/Hogan/Bully Ray story. Bully made his ring entrance and threw a chair into the ring. He climbed in the ring and said he wasn't going anywhere until he got his way and what he wanted. He said he didn't understand something: he wanted to fight Aries, and Aries wanted to fight him, and all the people wanted to see them fight each other. He sat down and said he wasn't leaving until he got what he wanted.
[Q7] Aries came out with a chair and said he didn't believe Bully wanted to fight him because the last time they fought, Aries dropped him on his head and made Bully tap out. Bully said he wanted to fight Aries so bad he dared him to get in the ring. Aries set his chair down at the bottom of the ramp and said no, but he would sit there all night with Bully.
Hogan's music hit and Aries grabbed his chair and fled to the other side of the ring. Hogan got in the ring and said he was the GM and he was not going to give them a match. He told Bully to get out of the ring or he would fire, or beat, his ass right there. Bully kicked the chair from the ring and got in Hogan's face. Brooke bounced out to the ring and stood between them. She called Bully Mark by mistake, and then corrected and called him Bully and told her dad that maybe he was making it too personal. Hogan said since this was what everyone wanted, even though it was personal, he would make the match…[C]
Shore's Slant: This was so stupid. What possible logic is there in Hogan not making the match? Even if it was some illogical emotional response it doesn't make sense. Let the guy talking shit about your daughter and the guy porking your daughter, who you presumably don’t like, beat the hell out of each other and enjoy it! This would have made sense if they didn't want to fight and Hogan was pushing it, but this was just dumb.
The announce team ran down the newly expanded Final Resolution card…A video hyped Bobby Roode challenging for the TNA Championship…Ring introductions occurred for the main event. Kazarian and Daniels were wearing Zubaz and fanny packs. Hilarious…
[Q8[ 5. Bobby Roode, Christopher Daniels, and Kazarian vs. Jeff Hardy, AJ Styles, and James Storm. Kaz and Storm started. Storm tackled Kaz and went to tag Styles, but Styles wasn't interested. Hardy tagged in instead. Kaz escaped and tagged Hardy. Hardy hit a flying forearm on him and tagged Styles. Daniels ran and tagged in Kazarian to get away from Styles. All the heels ended up knocked to the floor…[C]
Back from commercial, the heels worked over Hardy while a video showed Hardy getting tripped up during the commercial break. AJ jumped in the ring, allowing the heels to do the switch with no tag gimmick. Daniels drove Hardy to the mat with a boot and he and Kaz teased, but did not do, the Gangam dance. Daniels and Kaz hit several double team moves with Roode working in dirty spots here and there.
Hardy played the babyface in peril forever. Roode jumped off the second rope, and Hardy hit a kick and Twist of Fate that Roode oversold. Styles got the hot tag as chaos broke out with everybody in the ring. Styles ended up with Kazarian and Roode. He hit a combo inverted and regular DDT on both men. Daniels ran in to make the save. AJ fought back and went for a springboard move, but Daniels hit the ropes. Storm ran in and tossed Daniels to the floor, which pissed Styles off. Hardy tagged himself in and hit the Twist of Fate on Kaz for the win…
Jeff Hardy, AJ Styles, and James Storm defeated Bobby Roode, Christopher Daniels, and Kazarian at 15:14.
Post-match, everyone left except for Hardy. Aces and Eights ran out and beat him up until Storm made the save with a chair. Bobby Roode stood on the ramp and applauded Aces and Eights, who gave him a collective thumbs up to end the show…
Shore's Slant: An OK six-man match to end the show, I guess. The match did little to hype the matches at the PPV, but I did like Roode hiring Aces and Eights. It gave them a different reason to attack, and gets good heat on Roode.
Overall I thought the show had its moments, but I was disappointed with the build to Final Resolution here. They announced three new matches, but the underpinnings for those matches land on a scale of weak to stupid, and they didn't do a great job in making any of the already announced matches feel important. They caused everyone to look past the Knockouts match, Roode and Hardy only had a cursory build with the Aces and Eights attack, and the tag titles were a dick joke and an unfinished Chavo promo. Styles and Daniels probably had the best build of the night, but we have seen these two together so much it lacks impact, pun not intended. Jason Powell will have full coverage of Final Resolution on Sunday night. Thanks for watching along with me tonight.
Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet me @TheShoreSlant with whatever is on your mind.
And read my first work of fiction: The Following Contest is a Dark Match available exclusively on ebook for all eReaders, smartphones, tablets, and PCs for only 99 cents.
RECOMMEND THIS ARTICLE:
READ OUR INSIDER NEWS BEFORE ANYONE ELSE! BECOME A MEMBER FOR JUST $7.50 A MONTH (or less with a year-long sub) - GET THE FIRST LOOK AT EXCLUSIVE INSIDER DOT NET NEWS, TONS OF EXCLUSIVE AUDIO CONTENT, MEMBER MESSAGE BOARD ACCESS, START YOUR OWN BLOG, AND VIEW THE SITE WITHOUT ANY ADVERTISING: SIGN ME UP (or MORE INFO)
RELATED ARTICLES FROM MGID AFFILIATE SITES...