11/25 Kester's TNA Impact Wrestling Report: Thanksgiving Thong Thunder and an eight-man tag team elimination match
By Ryan Kester
Impact Wrestling on SpikeTV
Taped earlier in Orlando, Florida.
The show opened with a video package covering James Storm's paranoid hunt for his assailant and the revelation that it was Kurt Angle who gave him his concussion.
Kurt Angle kicked the show off by making his way to the ring. Once there, he referred to himself as a man's man and said he was insulted when he was accused of assaulting Storm from behind. Angle said he just didn't see him coming. Angle said he had no problem looking a man in the eyes before kicking his ass.
Storm immediately made his way to the ring. Storm said that what was between them wasn't personal, it was business. Storm removed his sunglasses and told Angle to go ahead and beat him down. Storm told Angle to break his neck and break his ankle, but he'd still get up and kick his ass. Angle said that Storm stole his title so he returned the favor two weeks ago.
Storm said the fans were tired of people talking so he removed his jacket and he told Angle not to take this ass whipping personally, it was just business. Angle called in the troops, and Christopher Daniels, Jeff Jarrett, and Bully Ray joined Angle in the ring. Angle mocked Storm for being tough and asked him how tough he'd be against four men.
Storm told Angle that Angle sent a message to his daughter a few weeks back, and she had a response. Storm proceeded to floor Angle with a punch before darting out of the ring to avoid the beatdown.
Mr. Anderson, RVD, and AJ Styles ran down and brawled with Angle's reinforcements… [C]
Ryan's Rant: Pretty effective opener. The ending brawl felt unnecessary, but the interaction between Angle and Storm was well done.
Eric Young and Rudy Charles showed up in the parking lot. Charles had the Thanksgiving turkey suit in his possession.
A brief video aired that covered Crimson and Matt Morgan' sudden rise to the top of the tag team division.
During the entrances to the next match, Matt Morgan and Crimson took their belts off and dropped them on the ramp. Way to make those titles look prestigious, gentlemen.
1. Matt Morgan and Crimson squashed Mexican America in 1:54.Hernandez got sent to the floor early and spent the match selling at ringside.
Matt Morgan and Crimson worked their respective move sets on Anarquia before finishing him off with a double chokeslam.
Backstage, Eric Young told Robbie E that there would be a turkey suit challenge match. Rudy Charles got in a few plugs and Robbie T picked Charles off the floor. Young told Robbie E that he has to compete in the match tonight or be stripped of his TV title. Robbie E freaked out. After the Robbies left, Charles asked Young of Sting had actually made any of the stipulations Young presented, and Young admitted that he had not… [C]
Ryan's Rant: Standard enhancement match, but where do the tag belts go from here? Who is left to feud with Matt Morgan and Crimson?
Karen Jarrett, Gail Kim, and Madison Rayne made their way to the ring. Karen called Velvet Sky, Winter, Angelina Love, Brooke Tessmacher, an d Tara to the ring. Karen talked about the division and said that what all of the male fans have been clamoring for is more skin. She referred to them as "horny, perverted freaks."
Karen, despite the protests of the women in the ring, declared that Gail Kim was the only real wrestler in the ring and the only true champion. Poor Madison Rayne. Karen announced a lingerie ball for later in the evening that would become a Thanksgiving tradition.
Karen called Velvet Sky a stripper and she told the women that if any of them decided not to participate, they would be fired for there were plenty of women willing to take their place.
Karen sent the girls to the back and told them to get undressed… [C]
Ryan's Rant: That was about the most efficient way to tear down the Knockouts division while insulting male fans. Good heat for Karen Jarrett, but a lot of that crap just brought a light to how the women in TNA are actually treated.
Backstage, Christy Hemme interviewed Tara, Velvet Sky, and Tessmacher. Tara said she thought she'd left this behind her, Brooke said she was there to compete in TNA not to show off her body, and Velvet said it was especially degrading for her because she went from competing for the Knockout title and now she's wrestling in her underwear.
The camera panned to Gail Kim defending Karen Jarrett. Mickie James showed up, took Kim into a private room with the door cracked, and she berated Kim for allowing Jarrett to take the division back ten years. James said that Kim was shoved three feet up the backside of Karen Jarrett's backside. Well said, James.
The two ended up brawling, the camera man shoved his way into the room only to get knocked to the floor... [C]
Ryan's Rant: Considering the normal ring attire these ladies wrestle in, it makes their complaints fall a bit flat. How can Sky complain about wearing something skimpy when she shoves her crotch in front of a camera lens as a part of her normal entrance? This whole idea is taking a turn for the worse.
2. Velvet Sky Brooke Tessmacher, and Tara defeated Angelina Love, Winter, and Madison Rayne in a Thanksgiving Thong Thunder Match in 9:51. The six women had a pose off during the first two minutes of the match.
The heels eventually attacked the faces and the fight was on. Winter took control of Tara, and they became the first two legal women… [C]
Back from the break, Tara hit Winter with a standing moonsault before tagging in Tessmacher. Tessmacher used her stink face on Winter. Rayne tagged in and regained control for her team. The heels proceeded to work quick tags, keeping Tessmacher down.
Tessmacher got the hot tag to Sky, who quickly took out her heel opponents. The match broke down and all six women started to brawl with one another.
Mickie James ran down and stopped Madison Rayne from using her belt to hit Velvet Sky, and Sky hit Rayne with a butterfly facebuster for the victory.
Ryan's Rant: So the faces hate being degraded, but they have no issue removing their clothing in a pose down? If nothing else, I am simply glad that whole mess is over.
Backstage, Karen Jarrett pointed out that most of the women were more covered than they were when they normally wrestled. "I tell you to cover up, you take more off. I tell you to take more off, you cover up," she said. Karen said that next week, she would provide the attire for the women to wear. Great, it isn't actually over. I'm thrilled.
Jeff Hardy made his ring entrance wearing the weird helmet he had at Turning Point. Once in the ring, he took the mask off to reveal that it was actually Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett cut a quick promo cutting down Jeff Hardy and referring to him as the "Charismatic Enema."
Jarrett said that the fans love Hardy because they can relate to him. He said hardy is a lowlife, pathetic, worthless individual that has no business being in wrestling. Real hardy made his entrance tat that point, and he and Jarrett began to brawl.
Immortal stormed the ring to attack Hardy, quickly followed by RVD, Anderson, and AJ Styles. Security poured out and did their best to separate everyone. Jeff Jarrett managed to throw Hardy into the steel steps several times… [C]
Ryan's Rant: Why did we get two brawls between all of these men in one night? Is this exactly what the main event will turn into? Jarrett cut a good promo, but Hardy is going to have to be capable of more than participating in a pull-apart brawl. Once or twice helps hide his mic deficiencies, but a weekly occurrence is too much.
A video package covering the storied history of the TNA turkey suit aired.
3. Eric Young defeated Robbie E in 2:29. Robbie E assaulted the turkey suit to start the match.
Robbie E hit Young with a foreign object and got the pin, but Charles found the object afterwards and he restarted the match. Young hit a jumping piledriver on Robbie E and scored the pinfall victory.
Robbie E couldn't get up, so Robbie T had to wear the turnkey suit… [C]
Ryan's Rant: Normally I'd pa stuff like this, but you have to expect a certain degree of tomfoolery during a holiday show. TNA doesn't want to give away a lot for a likely more limited audience, and those who are watching are usually full of turnkey and beer so a comedy segment works well.
Backstage, Young was running while Charles rode a bike. Charles crashed into a truck trailer.
Bobby Roode was supposed to be involved in the match, but he joined the announce team for commentary. Jeff Hardy was not present due to his injuries sustained in his brawl with Jeff Jarrett.
4. Jeff hardy, A.J. Styles, Mr. Anderson, and RVD defeated Bobby Roode Christopher Daniels, Bully Ray, and Jeff Jarrett in an eight-man elimination tag team match in 15:28. The heels took control early and isolated Mr. Anderson. When Anderson finally made the tag, RVD entered the match and was quickly slowed down by Immortal.
Anderson tagged back in and ran through his move set on Bully Ray. Ray, however, caught Anderson with an urinagi. Bobby Roode ran down, blind tagged Bully Ray, and covered Anderson for the pinfall. Bobby Roode pinned Mr. Anderson at 6:13.
Styles entered the match and tore into Bobby Roode. Roode responded with a low blow to get him intentionally disqualified. Bobby Roode DQed at 6:44.
Jarrett entered in Roode's place and attacked Styles as the show went to break… [C]
Back from the break, Bully Ray and Jarrett hit a double suplex on Styles. Daniels tagged in and got caught with a Pele kick from Styles. Styles made the tag to RVD, who took out all three heels. RVD went for the Five-Star Frog Splash, but Angle pushed him off the top rope. Daniels covered RVD to get the pin. Christopher Daniels pinned RVD at 11:10.
The three remaining heels cornered Styles and started their assault. Daniels went for the BME, but Styles got his foot up to catch Daniels. Jarrett and Ray tried to attack Styles but ended up hitting each other.
Jeff hardy made his entrance and tagged into the match. He tore into Christopher Daniels and hit the Twist of Fate for a quick pin. Jeff hardy pinned Christopher Daniels at 14:46.
Jarrett ran in and Hardy immediately rolled him up into a small package for his second elimination. Jeff Hardy pinned Jeff Jarrett in 14:53.
Bully Ray hit a big boot on Hardy. Styles got a blind tag and hit Ray with a springboard cross body for the victory.
After the match, Bobby Roode hit Hardy in the back of the head with his title belt before hitting Styles with a second title shot. Bobby Roode yelled at a prone Styles as overly dramatic music played in the background.
Ryan's Rant: Good action throughout, some more overbooking than I would have preferred, but it all worked out well. My biggest complaint about that match is that it felt like a bush league Survivor Series match, especially with how TNA kept referring to the teams as "Team Storm" and "Team Angle." TNA needs to have their own traditions rather than trying to piggy-back off of what WWE has going on.
Overall, this was a passable edition of impact. The overly long sexual harassment women's exposé was a bit much for this viewer. It's bad enough that they feel the need to undercut the women normally by referring to them as whores, but they did that and more this evening and it went on for several back-to-back segments. What's worse, they actually insulted their male viewers by saying that they're only around to look at Knockout skin. Not exactly the best storyline for any show, let along one that is being aired on a family-oriented holiday. Otherwise, there was nothing egregiously terrible about this show, but there was nothing to really write home about, either.
If you have any questions or comments or just wish to chat with a fellow wrestling fan about whatever, then feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or follow me on Twitter at @TheRyanKester.
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