By Ryan Kester

Impact Wrestling on SpikeTV
Taped earlier in Orlando, Florida.

[Q1] The show opened with a video package covering the Immortal and Sting feud.

Sting kicked things off by making his way to the ring. He wasn't wearing his Joker face paint, but he was wearing the TNA Hulk Hogan shirt. Sting said it felt good to be back in the Impact Zone. Sting said all he wanted was to have Dixie Carter in control and to have Hulkamania return, and he accomplished his goals.

Sting said Hogan decided to do the right thing at Bound For Glory by turning on Immortal. Sting called Hogan to the ring, and he immediately obliged. Hogan was wearing his old red and yellow Hulkamania shirt and played to the crowd as his pyro went off.

Once he was in the ring, Hogan shook Sting's hand and gave him a hug. Hogan said he had been wrong for an entire year, and he thanked the fans for having his back. Hogan said his recent troubles caused him to become a follower. Hogan said that Bischoff helped him out, and it caused him to fall in line. Hogan said he could see now that he was wrong. He didn't blame Bischoff, but he said he had seen the light.

Hogan thanked Sting. He put him over as a leader and savior of TNA. Hogan said when he saw "the only true American Icon" being attacked by a pack of wolves; he knew he had to act. He said he saw all of the fans at Bound For Glory, and now he and Hulkamania are back. The fans chanted "you screwed Bobby." Hilarious.

Hogan left the ring, and Sting continued. He asked Dixie Carter to come out, and she also immediately obliged his request… [C]

Ryan's Rant: Yeah, that was pretty much what I was afraid of at Bound For Glory. Hulk Hogan is the most over face in the company, there's far too much focus on old talent, and now Dixie Carter is coming out to continue the long talking segment. What's worse, the TNA Championship match, which is supposed to be the most important thing in the company, has only been mentioned by the fans telling Hogan that he screwed Bobby. This is not a great start for the new TNA era.

[Q2] Back from the break, Sting told Dixie that this was a day of celebration. He said now the rightful owner of TNA has her company back. Sting said eighteen months ago, he tried to warn her, but she didn't listen.

Sting told Dixie he gave him a second chance when he thought he was done with wrestling. Sting said Dixie gave him a home. Awww. Sting said Dixie needed to surround herself with people who had the best interest in her company. Sting said this was Dixie's second chance.

Dixie apologized to Sting. She then apologized to all of the wrestlers and all of the fans. Dixie said her place was not in the ring, but in making TNA the best it can be. She said she's a fighter, and she planned to make TNA the most successful wrestling company in the world. That made me chuckle.

Dixie asked Sting to join her in the day-to-day operations of the company. Dixie said she needs Sting to run things. Sting said he would do it. Dixie thanked him and the fans and said she appreciated the second chance. Her music hit, but Kurt Angle quickly made his way to the ring. The show went to break again… [C]

Ryan's Rant: You've got to be kidding me. Over twenty minutes and two commercial breaks in, and the opening segment is still going? This is going to be a long night.

Back to the segment that will never end, Angle said that there are two super heroes in the ring. The first was Sting, the savior of TNA, and Dixie Carter, the liar. TNA piped in the heat as Angle asked if Bobby Roode was supposed to be in his place. Angle said that he made Roode look like a loser at BFG.

Angle said he was the better man, and Beer Money's music hit as Bobby Roode made his way to the ring. Bobby chastised Angle for claiming victory with the way he retained the title. He called him pathetic. Roode said he spent thirteen years preparing for that moment, and Angle screwed him out of it.

[Q3] Sting stepped in and made a match for tonight, Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode for the TNA title. Angle mocked everyone because he had the contract for their match dictate that Bobby Roode would only get one shot at the TNA title. Angle was about to tell Bobby James Storm's catch phrase when the catch phrase rang through the Impact Zone. James Storm made his way to the ring, and this bloody segment will continue. Yay!.. [C]

Ryan's Rant: I don't even know what to say. It took us thirty minutes to get to this point, and it's still going. This is flat-out ridiculous on a show that is supposedly all about their wrestling product.

Storm introduced himself to Kurt and he asked if there was a stipulation in the contract that protected Angle from him. Storm said when Angle screwed Roode, he screwed Storm. Storm asked Sting, as man that wears sunglasses indoors to man that wears sunglasses indoors, if he could grant him a title match.

Sting made the match, and Kurt Angle got pissed. Roode told Angle, "sorry 'bout your damned luck!"

Backstage, Bischoff led Immortal in a confrontation to Hulk Hogan. Bischoff said they wanted to say goodbye to Hogan in the ring. Bischoff said if Hogan had any balls left, he would oblige.

Ryan's Rant: Please tell me this commercial break will not end with Hogan back in the ring. God help me if it does. Well, it took over forty minutes, but the opening segment is finely over. Luckily, we're almost in time for the mid-show super long talking segment! If I am coming off as cynical I apologize, but that marathon was the epitome of everything I dislike about TNA's product. All we were missing was a ref bump and some woman getting called a whore. Fear not, my friends, for the night is still young.

[Q4] 1. Brooke Tessmacher and Tara defeated Angelina Love and Winter to retain the Knockouts Tag Team Championships in 3:37. Winter and Angelina pounced on Brooke Tessmacher. Tessmacher and Love started as the legal women.

The heels worked a few quick tags to continue to wear down Tessmacher. Eventually, Brooke managed to make it to Tara, who stormed the ring and took out both of the heels. Tara choked Winter with her shirt. Tara slammed Winter and went for the pin, but Love ran in to break up the hold.

Tessmacher blind tagged into the match and hit a high cross body on Love for the win.

The Direct Impact of the Night was Tessmacher's cross body… [C]

Ryan's Rant: Well that was quick, but it was also a lot better than anything we've had from Knockout tags in recent history. I wish we would have gotten more, but what we got was good.

Back from the break, Jeff and Karen Jarrett made their way to the ring. Jarrett called Jeff Hardy to the ring, and Hardy quickly obliged. Luckily, Hardy wasn't wearing the shirt with his mug shots on it that he wore at Bound For Glory.

[Q5] Jarrett asked Hardy if eh expected to just walk back into his main event slot like nothing happened. Jarrett reminded Hardy that he brought him into the company. Jarrett talked about the several no shows hardy had before Victory Road last year, and he said that it would happen again. Jarrett said Hardy could either leave for good or suffer the consequences. Jarrett took his shirt off, so the consequences must have begun.

Hardy said that the fans want him in TNA. Hardy said Jarrett was the only one still bitching, and it was because the fans react for him, not Jarrett. The two began to brawl, and security came out to pull the two apart. Eventually, the agents came out as well, and we were treated to a D-Lo Brown head waggle. Jarrett got a cheap shot to Hardy's crotch.

Backstage, Angle cut a brief promo saying he would kick Storm's ass tonight… [C]

Ryan's Rant: This was basically the same segment we saw at Bound For Glory. I would pan it for being yet another talking segment, but that head waggle made up for it.

Back from the break, a video package with stills from the Sting/Hogan match and the aftermath thereof aired.

Backstage, Eric Young was shown talking to Robbie E and Rob Terry. EY told them that he would be happy to defend the TV title against Rob terry. I managed to completely forget that title existed.

Gunner made his way to the ring and called out Abyss. Abyss quickly obliged.

[Q6] 2. Abyss vs. Gunner via count out in 1:53. Abyss tore Gunner apart. Abyss hit a double-handed chokeslam and Gunner escaped to ringside. Abyss pursued him and slammed Gunner into the steps. Gunner ran through the crowd and was counted out.

Backstage, Velvet Sky was holding the Knockouts Championship and she thanked the fans for their support. She said she was heading t the ring to thank them personally… [C]

Ryan's Rant: Abyss is back to being a monster. I suppose that's a good thing, but his character has changed too many times for it to mean anything at this point.

Back from the break, Gunner was freaking out to the rest of Immortal over Abyss being a monster again.

A video package aired about Velvet Sky being a runt and how she fought to be the Knockouts Championship.

Velvet Sky made her entrance. She thanked the fans for their support and said it felt good to be the champion. She said it was worth dealing with all of the bullies and all of the injuries. Karen Jarrett and Traci Brooks made their way to the ring. Karen said that she had the power to fire Sky and Brooks if she pleased. She said that would be just too easy.

Karen told the air that they haven't seen anything yet. Karen summoned security to get Traci Brooks out of the ring. Velvet unsuccessfully tried to defend Traci. Karen said she planned to strip Sky f her title, but she wanted to have a bit more fun than that.

[Q7] Karen said she knew just the person to do her bidding. Madison Rayne made her way to the ring. Gail Kim and attacked Sky from behind. Madison and Gail put the boots to Sky for a moment while Karen yelled at Velvet… [C]

Ryan's Rant: That was the bets TNA has done in making a return feel important in a long, long time. I can't say that Kim's return excites me whatsoever, but at least there's another woman to add some variety to the stale Knockouts roster.

Bischoff led what is left of Immortal to the ring. Bischoff called Hogan to the ring, and Hogan again immediately obliged. Hogan told Bischoff to say what he needed to say. Bischoff said it was going to take a while. Lord help me.

Bischoff asked Hogan how he dared to turn his back on the men who supported him for over a year. Bischoff said he was the man who made Hulk Hogan. Bischoff said Hogan managed to get between him and his son.

Hogan said that he learned a lot about Bischoff and his son, and he found out that Garrett is more of a man than Eric will ever be. Bischoff slapped Hogan, Hogan hulked up, and Immortal got in the ring. Sting came out of nowhere and joined Hogan, and gave Hogan a bat.

As Immortal retreated, Bischoff said it was not over. Garrett Bischoff was on the ramp, and he stopped his father. Bischoff poked him in the chest and said he's no longer a Bischoff. Garrett responded with a huge right hook.

[Q8] Beer Money was walking backstage. Storm said that he wished he had time to prepare, and Roode ripped him a new one. Roode said he had been preparing for his whole life, and it was time for him to go out there and get the job done... [C]

Ryan's Rant: The backstage segment was spectacular. The preceding segment, not so much. All of this son stuff would be a lot more effective if they gave us a reason to care about Garrett. However, they made the reveal and the turn at Bound For Glory, so this story simply lacks the impact it should have.

3. James Storm defeated Kurt Angle to win the TNA Title in 1:14. Storm and Angle stared each other down to start. Angle took the early advantage and stomped Storm in the corner.

Angle stopped to jaw with the referee, turned around, and ate the Last Call. Storm picked up the 1-2-3.

Storm grabbed the title and ran through the stands in celebration. Storm drank a beer Stone Cold-style as Fortune gathered in the ring. Fortune gave Storm a beer bath as eh got in the ring.

[Overrun] Storm grabbed a microphone and said he's in the company a long time and saw many coe and go, but he was here to stay. Storm said the victory was bittersweet, and he said the title belongs to Roode. Storm handed Roode the belt, but Rode says Storm deserves it.

Roode put the belt around Storm's waist and Fortune celebrated as the show went off of the air.

Ryan's Rant: Under normal circumstances, I would be fuming over the short match for a title change, but Angle's leg looked absolutely hideous. There was plenty of discoloration creeping out of the heavy taping around his hamstring, and I am sure he needed to keep the match short or risk further injury. The celebration was well done.

Overall, this show was terrible. I understand the need to cover the happenings of Bound For Glory, but this is a wrestling product. There is a ton of ways to cover a PPV's talking points without so much bloody talking. Not only that, but not every story that was covered via a talking segment needed to be on this show. They could have easily been pushed back a week so that the title match could have received more focus than it did. I'm sure for some this show was perfectly acceptable, but several lengthy talking segments are a sure-fire way to bore me, and that's all tonight's show did for this viewer.

If you have any questions or comments or just wish to chat with a fellow wrestling fan about whatever, then feel free to email me at ryan.kester@gmail.com, or follow me on Twitter at @TheRyanKester.

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