By Ryan Kester

Impact Wrestling on SpikeTV
Taped earlier in Huntsville, Alabama

[Q1] A video package opened the show covering Jeff Hardy's demons and his return to the show tonight.

Mr. Anderson made his way to the ring. He grabbed a stick and said that he had been a man of few words for the past few weeks. He said he's been kicking ass, busting open faces, and then he would go home and sleep like a little baby. He said that in a very terrible voice.

He said he had made a deal with some devils. He said he agreed to work with them, and that the crowd may now boo him for doing so. TNA proceeded to have the pipe in a ton of noise while panning to a crowd that was not moving whatsoever.

Mr. Anderson said if Immortal hated him before, then tonight, in front of all of his assholes, he would really became a pain in their ass tonight. He said he was going to go after Kurt Angle tonight. He said he still has a rematch owed to him for the TNA title, and he's cashing in tonight.

He said he liked to think that it would be a one-on-one match, but he watches the show and knows there would be a run-in. Wow. He said he's not going to alone tonight, and Sting's music hit.

Once in the ring, Sting said that Immortal caused him to lose the world title. He said he's still here and did his choker laugh. He said he's like a fungus, and just won't go away. He said that he will be the special enforcer in tonight's main event. He said he's going to be the fungus that eats away at Hogan until he gets what he wants… [C]

Ryan's Rant: Is it bad that I view that entire segment as a shoot? Mr. Anderson is better when he's not talking and Sting, with his current character, really does just hold on and eat away at you like a fungus. I can't quite get over how terrible these two characters are compared to where they were a few months back. It's unreal.

Mexican America joined the announce team for the next match. Oh, yeah, they're the tag champs. TNA has done nothing with these guys since they won those straps.

[Q2] 1. The Pope and Devon beat The British Invasion to become No. 1 contenders to the TNA Tag Titles in 3:49. Devon and Magnus started the match, and Devon took the early advantage. Devon and the Pope worked a series of swift tags to maintain control.

Anarquia talked about the guns being to Mexican America's head on commentary. He kept saying "nada es impossible." Shut-up, jackass. The British Invasion battled back and took control of the Pope. They took their turn working quick tags to keep the wind out of their opponents.

Pope eventually got the hot tag and Devon took it to his opponents. The match broke down with all four men in the ring, and Devon got the pin with a spinebuster.

Backstage, Kurt was talking about taking out Anderson when Eddie Alvarez showed up out of nowhere. They discretely plugged his next fight. Kurt was all chummy with him as they walked off camera… [C]

Ryan's Rant: Random TNA appearance. They really don't know how to make these guys feel important, do they? The tag match was decent but had nothing worth writing home about. Anarquia on commentary really distracted and detracted from the match.

A video package covering the four finalists in the BFGS aired with each man giving a brief speech putting them over. James Storm used insider references best left out of wrestling television.

In the ring, Bully ray took the stick from Jeremy Borash. He put over Beer Money in a big way before detailing how one of them would have to go over the other in order to be successful as a singles wrestler. He then put over Gunner but said that Gunner was going to make sure Bully ray went on to become the TNA Champion. Gunner did not seem very enthused about this idea.

Bully ray said that he didn't even have to wrestle tonight, but he was going to just to inflict pain on Beer Money. He said he fully intended to take one of them out tonight and he said he was going to be the next TNA Champion.

[Q3] Bobby Roode took his turn on the stick and told him the fans want him to shut the hell up. He said that Beer Money would go down as one of the greatest tag teams of all time, but they were both determined to become the next TNA Champion. He talked briefly about their dream and the journey up to this point in their careers. He said that they know that only one of them will get the shot this go-around, but they are ready for that.

Bobby asked who was going to be the one to win the series and took a cheap shot saying it certainly wouldn't be Gunner. Cue angry Gunner. He promises the fans that one of the members of Beer Money would go on to win the series, but Beer Money would not end.

James Storm took the stick and said his catch phrase, but he let the fans finish it for him… [C]

Ryan's Rant: great segment. I wish Gunner had a chance to shine on the mic, but the segment would have gotten a bit long in the tooth had they gone that route. This was all-around solid hype for the finish to the series at the PPV this Sunday. I just wish TNA would go into more detail on what is going to go down at the PPV.

Back from the break, TNA gave us a brief video telling us who Eddie Alvarez is. Good move, TNA.

2. Eric Young defeated Robbie E to retain the TNA Television Title in 2:44. Eric Young took control early and worked some comedy offense.

Robbie ended up taking control from Young but kept resorting to using the ropes to try and gain leverage for his pin. Hebner proved that at least one referee has brain cells in TNA, and he refused to count after a certain point. Young ripped his pants off to show that he was wearing tights that matched Robbie's.

Young hit a piledriver for the win and Robbie E. did a fake seizure routine. Utterly tasteless. After the match, Rob Terry came out and drilled Young with an elevated powerbomb... [C]

Ryan's Rant: Now is the time for the TV title to stop being used as a comedy prop. If he's going to defend the title in matches, then they need it to look legitimate. Also, why can't we just eliminate piledrivers in all promotions? They are far too risky to be allowed to continue to exist. Robbie doing a fake seizure after suffering a piledriver was just disgustingly tasteless.

[Q4] Backstage, RVD confronted Jerry Lynn. Lynn complained about how he's always been over looked in favor of RVD. He talked about having to work long hours in the heat of a warehouse to scrape by. He said Hogan and Bischoff told him how he's just as good as RVD and deserves some respect. He told them they were wrong, but he was better. RVD responded by kicking Lynn in the gut.

Mickie James was backstage holding a dog for some reason and was talking to velvet. Velvet grabbed Mickie's title and held it around her waist and said she couldn't wait to one day wear that belt. Karen Jarrett showed up and asked why the dog was there. She said the place isn't a kennel even if there are already two dogs in the room. She told velvet to lose some weight, and that that was an order from management… [C]

Ryan's Rant: I am proud of TNA. When I first saw the dog I thought it was a set up for a bitch joke, but they managed to avoid that. They still had someone there to tear down the women on their roster, but that's par for the course. As far as the RVD/Lynn segment goes, is RVD supposed to be the babyface? Lynn came off awfully sympathetic there, and RVD's attack really wasn't provoked.

[Q5] 3. Mr. Anderson beat Kurt Angle by DQ in 7:14 in a TNA Title match. The two men worked some back-and-forth chain wrestling in the early going of the match. Both men traded control several times without either man able to chain together any form of offense.

Both men knocked each other down when they both went for a clothesline. They made it to their feet at the same time and started trading punches. Angle charged Anderson in the corner, ate a boot, and then hit a bell-to-belly suplex on a charging Anderson.

Anderson went for the Mic Check, but Angle turned it into his rolling German suplexes for a near fall. Angle lowered his straps and went for the ankle lock. Anderson fought to get to the ropes to no avail. He finally managed to roll through and turned it into a pin attempt.

Anderson hit the Mic Check out of nowhere and got a great near fall. Angle bumped the ref and hit the Angle Slam on Anderson, but Sting dragged the referee out of the ring. Angle ate another Mic Check and Immortal hit the ring to piped heat and the match ended in a DQ.

The piped heat continued as the beat down from Immortal continued. Angle posed with the TNA title as the show went to break… [C]

Ryan's Rant: Alright, TNA had better have gotten their overbooking itch scratched so that the main event can go off without a hitch. I hate how TNA goes for finishers so early in such short matches and expect the pins to be very believable. I think there's a rule in TNA title matches that says a wrestler can't get a win until the referee gets bumped. I also want to be clear that I don't dislike piped heat because it's sometimes necessary, but the piped heat TNA uses is so fake that it makes it obvious that he heat is piped. That just makes it counterproductive and annoying. I actually had to mute my TV because the piped heat was so loud and nonstop that it was making my dog bark her little head off. Poor Scamp.

[Q6] Backstage, Immortal celebrated but wet-blanket Bischoff sent them out of his office to listen to his phone. He did not seem pleased.

4. Winter and Angelina Love defeated Mickie James and Velvet Sky in 5:08. James and Love started the match. James took control early and Velvet made a blind tag to get into the match.

This turned out to be a mistake as she was getting her butt handed to her within seconds. Velvet had a brief moment of hope, but Love caught her feet from the outside and Winter regained control. The heel worked a series of tags to tear Velvet apart.

Velvet finally created some separation after hitting Love with a slam and got the hot tag to James. James entered the ring via the top rope and hit a thez press before taking out Love. Love would get back in the ring and so did Velvet. Hebner didn't even try and stop the interference so once again the Knockouts are allowed to just stop tagging after a certain point.

Winter used her red mist and Mickie screamed her head off. Winter covered James for the win… [C]

Ryan's Rant: TNA, please decide if that's blood or acid that Winter spits. I can understand James being blinded by blood, but she gives off a scream like someone just ripped her eyes out when they do that spot. I have grown tired of the Knockout tag matches. They always end up with the tag aspect going out the window and the referees just don't seem to give a damn. By the way, during commercial an NFL ad aired. I'm sure that’s not what TNA wants to see with a football game competing with them. It also is not what I want to see when I know my Packers are playing. I hate you, SpikeTV.

[Q7] Back from the break, Austin Aries made his way to the ring wearing a suite. He did his shushing routine and told the crowd to show some respect to Bischoff's favorite X-Division wrestler and the next X-Division champion. Scamp told me that TNA was piping in heat again. Sorry, girl, can't mute it when they're talking.

Aries called Kendrick's good guy act phony. Kendrick then showed up wearing a suit of his own and carrying a briefcase. Kendrick showed up and spoke in a business tone and talked about how he had always been made fun of. He said the ridicule was not without merit. Kendrick started to talk about society and its shackles and he started to shed his suit piece by piece and returned to his rhyming rhetoric.

Aries cut into Kendrick for throwing the title on the floor, and Kendrick said it's just a materialistic thing. Aries said that Kendrick only has a set of balls when Aries has his back turned, or when his set is sitting on Kendrick's chin.

Kendrick said Aries is lucky he's a peace-loving man, and then proceeded to attack Aries, who fled up the ramp.

Backstage, Hogan went crazy in front of Bischoff about Immortal attacking Sting and Anderson. Bischoff was in sad face mode and told Hogan that the Network was retaliating against Immortal. He announced a three-way match at No Surrender for the TNA title, Mr. Anderson vs. Sting. vs. Kurt Angle. Hogan went into angry Hogan mode and started smashing things and screaming… [C]

Ryan's Rant: Damn you, Kendrick, I thought we were getting the "The Brian Kendrick" gimmick back. Thank you, Aries, I always hate it when a wrestler drops a championship on the floor. Aries was the only saving grace of that entire segment, even if I think that his "balls on chin" comment was a bit over the line. So much for this being a family show, eh Hogan?

An advert aired for the BFGS.

Jeff Hardy was shown walking backstage again. Apparently going on the road does nothing for shortening the labyrinthine hallways of Impact Wrestling.

[Q8] 5. Gunner defeated Bully Ray, James Storm, and Bobby Roode in a four corners tornado match in 4:57. Everyone stared at each other for a few minutes as Samoa Joe came out. Matt Morgan attacked Joe from behind and the wrestlers in the ring brawled. Oh, goodie, we will have an overbooked main event after all. They had me worried there for a minute.

Beer Money got the better of the Immortal guys and then stared at each other, hesitant to fight. Bully ray broke up their staring contest and Gunner tried to get a pin. Bully Ray scolded him and said he's the one who should win.

Storm and Gunner fought as Roode and Ray sold. The Roode and Ray took their turn while the previous set sold. All four men worked a rotation of two guys selling while one guy hit a move on another standing competitor. This pattern continued for some time.

Eventually, Beer Money was standing at the same time and did their dance. Bully Ray floored both men and hit a Bully Bomb on Roode. While he was on his butt, Gunner hit Ray with his running knee to get the win.

Jeff Hardy was still walking backstage. Is he lost?.. [C]

Ryan's Rant: Alright, they had me worried early, but they managed to keep the overbooking to the front of the match. Still, that match felt like it was over ten minutes when it didn't even make five. I don't mean that in a good way. It was an absolutely exhausting cluster of spots that I simply did not find entertaining. If that's your thing, you probably had a blast, but they were trying to tell far too many stories at once and it ended up detracting from the match for this viewer.

[Overrun] Jeff Hardy came to the ring wearing street clothes and a clean face. He grabbed a stick and waited for his music to die down and the crowd to grow quiet.

Hadry said he does not deserve the cheers, but he thanked the fans and the Network for letting him talk. He called himself pathetic for how he was the last time he was in the ring.

Jeff said he had a main event match with a man he respects and he let everyone down. he said he wasn't the main eventer he knows he is, and he said the doubt he feels is overwhelming. He said he has guys in the back mad at him and they have every right to be. He said he can't change what happened at Victory Road, but he hit rock bottom. He got emotional and paused.

Jeff said he can't expect the fans to give him another chance, and he damn sure can't expect the guys in the back to forgive him. He asked for one more shot. He put on his best sad puppy face and said all he can do is ask. He dropped the mic, left the ring, and the fans started chanting, "One more time" as the show went off the air.

Ryan's Rant: I cannot believe that the show ended with Jeff Hardy. I'm sorry, but that's the worst possible decision to do on the day that the man plead guilty to three felony drug trafficking charges. I am also floored that he came out wearing street clothes as I expected them to try and make him look his best in this address. The most damning aspect of all in that segment was the fact that I just couldn't believe a word he was saying. He may have just been uncomfortable talking about what had happened or something, but I couldn't help but shake the feeling that he was forcing himself to act like he thought a remorseful person should act rather than legitimately experiencing that emotion. For Hardy's sake, I hope that I am wrong and that he's truly taken all of this to heart and plans to turn his life around. God bless you, Jeff, please prove me wrong.

Now, on a less somber note, this show left me feeling pretty uninspired. Outside of the promo segment involving the Bound For Glory series finalists, the show just fell flat for this viewer. The matches were either too short to matter, were overbooked, or contained aspects that would normally cause me to turn the channel. I'm looking at you, fake Robbie seizure. When you take away the matches, you're really only left with a handful of promo and backstage segments, most of which involved the same aspects of TNA that I have been harping on for weeks.

Overall, this again felt like a sign that nothing will ever change in TNA, and that's depressing considering they had such an opportunity the past couple of weeks to liven up the product with a fresh crowd. They simply failed to do so. I'll have more to say in my Rundown of the show tomorrow. I'll see you then, and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Take care.

If you have any questions or comments, or just wish to chat with a fellow wrestling fan about whatever, then feel free to email me at ryan.kester@gmail.com, or follow me on Twitter at @TheRyanKester. Have a great week.

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