TNA Impact on Spike TV
Taped in Orlando, FL

[Q1] The aired highlights of last week’s show, including the hit on Karen Angle, Christian Cage being put through a glass table, and the situation between Samoa Joe, Kevin Nash, and Booker T. The title of the show is “The Mating Game.”…

The opening video aired. Mike Tenay and Don West welcomed us to the show. Tenay plugged the World X Cup and West plugged tonight’s matches. A.J. Styles and Karen Angle came out to the ring…

Styles said Kurt Angle has gone too far. He declared war on Kurt as Karen tried to restrain Styles. Styles called out Kurt but Team 3D came out instead. Brother Ray ran down Styles and said Kurt was out scoring with hot chicks. Styles told him payback was a bitch. Ray said that saying has been around for thirty years and must have just trickled down to the South.

Ray called Karen a “puttana,” which is Italian for whore. Styles attacked Ray. After a rather prolonged beating of Styles, Rhino came out to make the save. Rhino said Team 3D did not take him or Christian Cage out. Rhino challenged Team 3D and Kurt Angle to a six man tag at Victory Road with Cage and Styles as his partners in a TLC match, called “Full Metal Mayhem” in TNA. Devon accepted and the fans will choose the match stipulation (Tables or FMM)…

Don West plugged a match with Raisha Saeed and Taylor for later in the show. If Taylor wins, she gets another shot at Awesome Kong…

Kurt Angle was at the gym for his first blind date. He was to meet a woman named Tiffany. He approached one woman at the climbing wall, but she was not Tiffany. Tiffany turned out to be a rather large woman. Jeremy Borash called her a human medicine ball. Kurt told Team 3D they were very funny… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: I like the six man at the PPV because it will help protect Angle. I hated the blind date segment.

[Q2] They aired a video of fans signing up for the Fan’s Revenge match. One guy looked like Chavo Guerrero…

LAX, Hector Guerrero, and Salinas were in Houston on a promotional tour. Hector gave a promo saying they would beat Storm and Roode like dogs. Salinas annoying yelled into the camera. Storm, Roode, and Jacqueline interrupted the promo with their ring entrance…

Twill’s Two Cents: Can the fans fire Salinas instead of whipping Storm and Roode with belts?

James Storm told Hector to shut up because he could not understand Hector and he was not even drunk. They talked over each other for awhile until the Motor City Machine Guns made their entrance…

1. The Motor City Machine Guns defeated Robert Roode and James Storm (with Jacqueline) in 3:34. About ninety seconds into the match, Sabin attempted to springboard out of the corner, but Storm took out his legs, allowing the heels to gain the advantage.

Shelley tagged in and went for Sliced Bread, but Roode hit the backstabber (Tenay called it, “Roode stabbed him right in the back”). Sabin hit a springboard tornado DDT. After all four men fought, Jacqueline accidentally spit beer in Roode’s face, allowing the Guns to score the win…

After the match, Storm and Roode tied up the Guns and whipped them with belts. Then they whipped referees, ringside attendants, Don West, and David Penzer. Jim Cornette came out and threatened to fire them. He said Storm and Roode would face two of the meanest and nastiest wrestlers in the back later on tonight… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Glad to see the Guns get the win. Does anyone else find Roode and Storm completely boring like I do? They could whip just about anyone and my reaction would be the same. Don West’s pain threshold is horribly low. He was barely touched and he was screaming.

[Q3] Kurt Angle was wearing suit and sunglasses indoors. His date was a man with a wig. Kurt threw him up against a wall and told him to tell Brother Ray he was going to kick his ass next Thursday…

2. Moose defeated Roxxi in a Bimbo Brawl in 4:06. Moose attacked Roxxi before she could enter the ring. She tried to use a shopping cart but Roxxi turned the tide. She threw Moose into the cart ala Raven vs. Rhino so many years back. Moose regained the advantage and hit Roxxi with multiple weapon shots.

Back in the ring, Roxxi hit Moose hard with a road sign. She followed that up with a hockey stick shot. She looked like she was going for a quasi Van Daminator but Moose did not catch the chair. Roxxi wedged a chair in the corner but ended up eating it herself. Moose hit the double arm DDT on the sign for the win…

Twill’s Two Cents: Very physical and pretty good match. Roxxi bled the hard way because she was gushing.

Jim Cornette asked Kevin Nash to work tonight’s main event because Roode and Storm were out of control. Cornette promised to pay him a lot for this favor. He said Samoa Joe would be his partner. Nash wished Cornette luck in telling Joe the news… [C]

[Q4] Cornette asked Joe if he would participate in the tag match later tonight. He agreed but then asked who his tag partner would be. Joe realized it was Nash and completely flew off the handle. He yelled and screamed in Cornette’s face. Cornette pulled the management card and forced Joe into the match. Joe said Cornette was responsible for what happened tonight…

Twill’s Two Cents: Is Joe not watching the show or what?

They aired a history package showcasing the relationship between Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe. The voiceover guy said Nash’s wisdom led Joe to the Promised Land. This Joe guy has a little talent too… [C]

Kurt Angle’s third date was decent looking. The woman kept leaving the table. Kurt said he was kicking everyone’s ass when he was five years old, including kids, teachers, and parents. Kurt talked about beating on a priest for trying to tell him what to do. Kurt and JB speculated that the woman was bulimic.

Kurt confronted the woman about being bulimic, but she told him she had spastic colon. Kurt and JB made a bunch of peeing your pants jokes and laughed their asses off. JB said Brother Ray got the best of Kurt three times and Kurt got serious all of a sudden. He said he would get Ray back next week…

Twill’s Two Cents: To all of our women readers, would you be a little apprehensive to be on a blind date that was being filmed by a third guy?

3. Rey Bucanero defeated Alex Kozlov (with Daivari) in a World X Cup match in 1:42. Both men impressively ran the ropes before Bucanero hit a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Kozlov threw Bucanero to the floor and hit a somersault plancha. Kozlov scored a nearfall.

Bucanero scarily dropped Kozlov on his head. He hit the corkscrew senton for the win…

Kurt Angle arrived at the arena and JB told him about the match at Victory Road. Angle said he was still pissed at Brother Ray… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: I am thinking Kozlov may have really been hurt. If not, that was unnecessarily short. As for Angle, can TNA let anything simmer until next week?

[Q5] Kurt Angle came out to the ring and called out Team 3D so he could kick Ray’s ass. Team 3D came out and wanted to talk with Kurt backstage. Ray called Kurt the most legitimate professional wrestler in the world. Ray said he lost his black book so he used Devon’s.

He said he met a girl last night who was not a ten, she was an eleven. Ray said he was “going to use her” himself, but he saved her for Kurt. He called her out and she had stripper lounge theme music. Honestly, she looked like she had been around an entire neighborhood full of blocks and was not very hot.

Kurt asked her if she wanted to ride on an Olympic Gold Medal train. He gave a “Whooo whoooo.” Ugh. The girl said she was fun and loyal. Kurt said none of them were loyal, like Karen. She said, “screw you” to Kurt. Kurt apologized and said he would never hit a woman, but he knows people that would.

The Beautiful People came out and gave the woman the brown bag treatment. Karen Angle came out and attacked The Beautiful People. Kurt took off his belt and all five of them surrounded Karen. A.J. Styles, Rhino, Gail Kim, and ODB came down and ran off the heels…

They aired a shot of the awesome door to Booker T.’s locker room… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Is there acid or a bunch of spiders in the paper bag? Why do they act like the bag is going to hurt them in some way? As for the angle (no pun intended), it is hard to take Angle seriously as a guy who wants to win matches when he is involved in crap like this.

[Q6] Booker had JB remove his shoes in his locker room. He also dressed him in a silk robe and offered him some Cristal. Booker, with tobacco pipe in hand, said he had everything except the World Heavyweight Championship. Booker said he hopes Joe and Nash work out their problems because Joe is going to need it…

Tenay plugged the main event of Nash and Joe vs. “Beer Money.”… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: You know, having a sweet locker room makes sense in TNA since the show is taped in the same building every week. Booker is so hilarious. Beer Money? Well, I guess having an actual team name is a step in the right direction.

A Rough Cuts segment aired with Matt Morgan. He said his first match on WWE Smackdown was a six man tag with Brock Lesnar and Nathan Jones as his partners vs. Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, and John Cena. Kurt Angle and Jim Cornette put Morgan over as someone WWE messed up with by letting him go…

4. Milano Collection AT (with Yoshino and an invisible dog) defeated Curry Man (with Kaz) in a World X Cup Match in 3:22. Both men traded decent displays of offense in the first three minutes. Curry Man went for the Spice Rack, but AT slid off his back and pushed Curry into the referee. He hit a low blow and lionsault for the win…

Twill’s Two Cents: The X Cup is very underwhelming thus far.

[Q7] Backstage, Lauren interviewed Roode and Storm. Storm had “Beer Money” t-shirts and gave one to Roode. Roode gave his usual serious promo as Storm stumbled through his promo due to his inebriation. They heavily pushed the new team name… [C]

5. Taylor defeated Raisha Saeed (with Awesome Kong) in 3:45. Although Taylor is fighting for a possible job, she has theme music. They went after each other right as the bell rang. Saeed went for a powerbomb but Taylor countered it and hit a very nice armdrag. Saeed threw Taylor to the floor and Kong laid her out with a closeline.

Saeed scored a nearfall with a belly to back suplex. She went to the top but missed a moonsault. Taylor was able to score a nearfall with a hurricarana. Taylor hit a couple of big kicks and went for the cover. The referee’s count was interrupted by Kong. Taylor kicked Kong, hit a German Suplex with a bridge, and scored the pinfall…

Twill’s Two Cents: Taylor can work. She is good. Decent, but short match. It is scary how good this division could be.

Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe made their way through different backstage areas to separate entrance areas… [C]

[Q8] A video of Gail Kim and Angelina Love aired. Gail said she “won another championship,” but the TNA Knockout Title was closest to her heart. Angelina said he would get her shot with the belt, hold it longer, and make it look prettier than Gail did…

6. Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe defeated Beer Money (with Jacqueline) in 8:45. Nash and Joe had a brief discussion before the match. Nash started and mouthed to Joe, “I’ll show you how it’s done.” Nash hit a side slam on Roode for the first nearfall at about a minute. Booker was shown watching from his locker room.

Nash hit elbows on Roode in the corner. Joe tagged himself in. He hit left jabs on Storm followed by a leg lariat. He kicked Storm to the floor. Roode checked on his partner and they hugged… [C]

Roode had a reverse chinlock on Joe locked in. Storm and Roode hit double team moves on Joe and worked very well together. Joe acted as if he was going to tag Nash, but he flipped him off instead. Nash came in illegally and took out both members of Beer Money. Jacqueline handed handcuffs to Roode.

Joe avoided a handcuff shot and locked in the rear naked choke. Roode went for the Payoff but Joe hit a front suplex of his own. After a struggle in the corner, Joe hit the Muscle Buster on Roode for the win…

Nash came into the ring and went face to face with Joe. All of a sudden, the lights went out and Sting’s music hit. Nash and Joe continued to jaw in the ring as Sting was shown up in the rafters as the show went off the air…

Twill’s Two Cents: The team challenging for the tag straps at the PPV lost twice tonight. I was hoping for something to advance the Nash and Joe situation. Sting showing up was a surprise but I am not sure how much of a good thing it is. We will have to wait and see. I will have more to say about the show in my Impact Hitlist.

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