By Ryan Kester

TNA "Impact Wrestling" on Spike TV
Taped in Orlando, FL. in the Impact Wrestling Zone

[Q1]Hulk Hogan and Scott Steiner talked backstage about Steiner joining Immortal. Sting then showed up via a backstage television to cut a crazed Joke-esque promo and kept referring to himself as "Stinger." His back was to the camera the entire time and then he turned around to reveal a shameless ripoff rework of his face paint to look exactly like the Joker's from The Dark Knight.

Hogan headed to the ring to call Sting a coward. Hogan said he was going to take care of Sting in his own way soon enough. Hogan then called out Anderson, who quickly obliged.

Hogan "thanked" Anderson for gracing everyone with his presence. He said Anderson needs Hogan as bad as Hogan needs Anderson. He said Anderson could face the lunatic one-on-one or he could join Immortal. He said if he didn’t, he would lose the title and all of his confidence.

Anderson said he has cockiness from head to toe and referred to himself as "the cock." Hogan told him that Eric Bischoff gave him his title on a silver platter. Anderson said he was taking all the credit for winning the title.

Suddenly, Sting was backstage beating Bully Ray down with a bat and demanded to talk to Hogan. The arena then blacked out and Sting's music hit. Sting did the Undertaker reveal spot and took out Hogan's legs with a bat. Anderson split and Sting grabbed a stick to say that on July 14 they would meet for "Midsummer Nightmare." He then turned his attention back to Hulk and said he was trying to get through to him.

[Q2] Sting called himself a Hulk Hogan mark when his career began. He said he wanted the real Hulk Hogan to stand up, not the Hollywood one, but the real one. He used Hogan's old catch phrase and said Hogan was obviously training. For vitamins, he took a huge canister of vitamins and shoved several pills into Hogan's mouth.

Sting then dragged Hogan into the middle of the ring and locked in the Scorpion Deathlock. He never sat down, though, and Immortal came out. Bully Ray yelled that it was enough and told Sting to get away from Hogan, and sent Abyss to check on Hogan. He called Sting a wannabe and talked about how their paths had never crossed, but they would tonight. He said the one thing he can't stand is a bully, which got a chuckle out of me.

He said what Sting has been doing was deplorable. He then made a match between Sting and Scott Steiner. Hogan then took a mic and told Sting that was the last time he'd ever embarrass him. He promised to wipe that smile, and hopefully copyright infringing facepaint, off of Sting's face. I may have added a bit there.

Tenay had the nerve to plug wrestling matters after a 25 minute promo focused on guys in their fifties. They then ran through the recent live events and their impact in the Bound for Glory Series.

Ryan's Rant: That went on way too long. I have completely mentally checked out of this program after seeing Sting. I am all for taking something from a great work and tweaking it to make a wrestling persona. It can create very good things. However, completely ripping off someone else's creation is classless, lazy, and pathetic. I was looking forward to tonight, but TNA just crapped all over that.

1. Devon beat Samoa Joe in 5:33 in a Bound For Glory Series match. They started slow with Joe going for rest holds as the announcers ran through what the BFGS is all about. Joe drilled Devon with a massive kick.

Devon fired back and worked his offense on Joe. He hit a rock bottom and splash in the corner for a two-count. Joe came back with a flying leg Lariat. Her had the win but switched it a leglock to try and get the extra three BFGS points. Devon got out but Joe knocked him down and locked in a key lock. Devon again made the ropes and Joe broke the hold.

[Q3] Joe locked in the crossarm breaker and Devon again made the ropes. Joe set Devon up for the muscle buster but Devon battled out. Joe caught him with a kick and went for the rear-naked choke. Devon reversed it into a spinebuster for the win.

Ryan's Rant: That was a surprise. I enjoyed the story of that match, but way to bury Joe for a guy you're obviously not giving the title to.

Backstage, the Pope was hanging out with Devon's kids and said he was going to go celebrate. He then wondered where Devon's wife was.

Scott Steiner was yelling at Bully ray for not giving him notice for a match. Bully Ray told him to go get the job done and gave him his chain.

Kazarian and Samoa Joe got into it backstage and a wall of security guards separated the two.

A video package introduced Low-Ki, Matt Bentley, and Jimmy Yang for tonight's X-Division match.

[Q4] 2. Low-Ki beat Jimmy Yang and Matt Bentley in 9:44 to qualify to compete for a contract at Destination X. Yang took control early but Low-Ki battled back. Low-Ki hit a springboard splash on Bentley for a nearfall.

Bentley and Low-Ki worked for some time in the ring while Yang sold at ringside. Bentley took Low-Ki to the outside and Yang took advantage by diving out on top of both men. Low-Ki and Yang got back in the ring and hit rapid-fire offense on each other. Low-Ki started to shake and worked Yang over with a series of stiff kicks.

Bentley got in the ring and tried to attack Low-Ki only to eat a springboard kick. Yang kicked Low-Ki in the back of the head for a near fall. Bentley attacked Yang and hit a DDT/Stunner move on both yang and Low-Ki. He then hit Low-Ki with a superkick and went for the pin only for Yan to break the count.

Yang got Bentley down and went for a corkscrew moonsault and got nothing but mat. Low-Ki went upstairs and nailed the Warrior's Way for the win.

Ryan's Rant: That was a thousand times better than the spotfest we got last week. It's bittersweet to see Low-Ki back in TNA. While I am glad I get to watch him again, I was hoping to see him return to WWE. TNA is great and all, but I don't think it will be long before Low-Ki is standing with the other X-Division guys while complaining about Immortal shoving them down… [C]

[Q5] Backstage, Madison Rayne, Angelina Love, and Winter all argued over who took madison's lipstick. If it was Sting who took it, I'll die laughing. Winter talked about how she's going to capture the Knockouts title and Love talked about how Winter's and her relationship is no longer synthetic.

Samoa Joe attacked Kazarian in a bar.

Hogan cut a promo about going after Sting.

3. Mickie James, Miss Tessmacher, and Tara defeated Angelina Love, Winter, and Madison Rayne in 6:57 Mickie and Winter started. Mickie ripped Winter's belt off and tried to hit her with it. Love and Tessmacher tagged in.

Love took control before tagging Winter back into the match. Tessmacher battled back and gave Winter the Stinkface. Winter hit a Northern Lights Suplex on Tessmacher to eliminate her at 2:13.

Tara entered the match and took it to Winter. Tara locked in the tarantula but Madison Rayne broke the hold. Love hit Tara with the Botox Injection to eliminate Tara in 3:48. Madison stole the pin, however, and her team allowed Mickie to attack and pin her.

Winter and Love then jumped all over Mickie. Mickie battled back and tried to hit her finisher on Love but Winter interfered. Love laid Mickie out and Tara and Love argued over who would get the pin. This allowed James to come back and hit a hangman neckbreaker on Love to pin her at 6:31.

A short time later, James hit the jumping DDT to eliminate Winter and win the match for her team.

Backstage, Gunner talked about how tonight's match was the rubber match for him and Styles. He said he was on a mission to prove he is a main eventer… [C]

Ryan's Rant: I can't tell if they want Gunner to be a babyface or not. The match was a all kinds of awful. The ref more or less let them all attack each other after a certain point, and the action left me unimpressed.

A video package covering Abyss and "deep-thinking" Brian Kendrick played.

[Q6] Jeremy Borash stood in the ring with a red carpet and a table. He introduced AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels for their contract signing. Daniels was once again in dress clothes for no reason. AJ Styles asked daniels if he was absolutely sure he wanted to do this. Daniels replied by signing the contract and said he was sure.

The two then fellated each other for a long while and Daniels said he was going to shake the hand of his best friend after the match. Oh, how cute and quaint. Styles signed the contract and the signing was concluded.

Just then, Jerry Lynn showed up and walked to the ring. Lynn said four years ago he left TNA but he was still watching. He said people bickering over who made the X Division made him sick. He said it was all about the fans. It was all about the wrestling. Can some heel please save me?

RVD then came out. Joy. RVD then asked them if they were all trying to sell this PPV with a love fest. He said he was the only one there that changed TNA and called himself the Whole F'n Show. He said he was a pioneer long before any of them and they were all trying to be him. He said he was a X-Division before there even was an X-Division. Lynn got pissed but Daniels tried to calm him down. he said none of them invented the X-Division but they perfected it. He said this would be the greatest PPV of all time. No, it will not Daniels, no it will not.

Daniels then asked if they should all give the fans a treat next week with a four-corners match between all of them. RVD said he was in.

AJ Styles went to ringside but was attacked by Gunner. Hebner told So cal val to ring the ropes and their match was one.

4. Gunner defeated AJ Styles in 4:45. AJ took early control and just beat the tar out of Gunner. Gunner battled back, however, and tried to go for a powerbomb. Styles reversed it into a pele Kick and sent Gunner to the floor before diving over the top rope.

Styles tied to attacked Gunner in the corner, but he exploded out and punched Styles in the throat. Styles came right back and slammed Gunner. Styles tried for a springboard but Gunner pulled the ref in front of him.

Gunner hit the F5 for the win. Gunner is now the leader in the BFGS.

A video package for the X Division aired.

Sting cut a promo backstage in Joker fashion and I went off to hurl… [C]

Ryan's Rant: Wow, that was difficult to sit through. I can't stand seeing wrestlers being all buddy buddy and it happens weekly in TNA. This kind of crap does not sell PPVs. The match was decent enough, but far too short to mean a damned thing. I guess they suddenly realized Gunner was a heel and had him act like one for the segment.

[Q7] A video package for ODB and velvet Sky aired and ODB said wrestling matters. This had close up shots of ODB's crotch when she did her air-humping. I kid you not.

Velvet Sky cut a promo about being bullied because she was a runt. She talked about a handicap match next week that if she wins, ODB and Jackie will be no longer allowed in TNA.

Mexican America came out next and headed to the ring. Hernandez cut a quick promo that I couldn't understand and then Anarquia took the mic. He said the gringos angered the "President of Mexican America." He complained about how Beer Money is ion the BFGS and they aren't. He said they are the bets team in Impact Wrestling and have beaten them all. He threatened to wreak havoc from now on.

British Invasion came out in dress attire and headed to the ring. Magnus took the mic and said British Invasion were foreigners as well, and they were proud of where they were from and who they are but they love being here in America. He said they don't like those who come to another country and expect to have everything handed to them without earning it. He said Mexican America never beat them, and they never would.

Magnus demanded a match next week between the two teams to determine the new number-one contenders for the tag team titles. He told them to be men and grow a set of stones and leave the "los prostitutos" at home. Magnus got slapped and Mexican America beat down British Invasion. Hernandez threatened the Border Toss and Rob Terry hit the ring to clear them out.

[Q8] A video message from Jeff and Karen Jarrett from Mexico aired. They bragged about their new lives. He said they would be home next week.

Bully Ray rallied the troops backstage. Abyss's mask was missing and he freaked out.

5. Sting beat Scott Steiner in 4:20 Steiner dominated the early going. Steiner locked in the Steiner Recliner but Sting reversed it into the Scorpion deathlock.

Steiner made the ropes and slammed Sting. The two laid on the mat and stood up only for Sting to hit the Scorpion death Drop for the win.

Bully Ray, Mr. Anderson, and Steiner attacked Sting after the match, and Hogan came out to attack. However, Kurt Angle showed up and cleared the ring to end the show.

Ryan's Rant: That was another worthless match. Sting has completely jumped the shark with his ripoff of Joker. The limited commercial gimmick was interesting and helped the time go quicker, but TNA tried to fit way too much into each segment. I feel completely burned out. I can't believe Kurt, the supposed number-one contender wasn't even mentioned until the final moments of the show. Still, they hyped next week's show well. I will see you all then.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to send me an email at ryan.kester@gmail.com or hit me up on Twitter at @Ryan_Kester. Have a good week.

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