By Jason Powell

TNA Impact on Spike TV
Taped in Orlando, Fla. at the Impact Zone

[Q1] The show opened with a recap from last week's show and the return of Christopher Daniels... The show is called "The Rise of the Fallen Angel"...

The Fortune music played and Christopher Daniels led Kazarian and Beer Money to the ring. Daniels acknowledged that his TNA career has been rocky. "I've been in and out of this company so many times that it feels like there's a revolving door with my name on it," Daniels said. "That's okay. That's the wrestling business."

Daniels said he became friends with A.J. Styles when he first came to TNA. He said they have each other's backs no matter what. He said he saw what Bully Ray did and decided it was time to come back to TNA. Daniels offered the loyalty has for Styles to the rest of Fortune. Daniels asked the other three men if he could be the fourth member of their team in the Lethal Lockdown match.

The Immortal music played. Ric Flair led Abyss, Bully Ray, and Matt Hardy to the ring. Flair said he doesn't even know who Daniels is. "Who are you?" Flair asked. He gave Daniels a chance to back out and said he's going to get hurt. Daniels said he could take the offer and stick it up his ass.

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff eventually walked onto the stage to the tired old NWO music. Hogan said that if the network wants Daniels to have a contract and in the Lethal Lockdown match, they're all for it because they love the network. Hogan said he still runs the place and Daniels has to go through Bully Ray.

Bully Ray said Daniels doesn't want any part of him. He boasted about taking out Styles, and said he could put Daniels in the bed next to A.J. Ray told Daniels to go back to back to California, put more mascara on, paint his fingernails, etc. Daniels said Ray shouldn't worry about that stuff until the guy wearing it started beating his ass.

Daniels punched Ray and the babyfaces quickly cleared the ring while Hogan barked for security to hit the ring...

Powell's POV: In the last two shows, we've learned that Bischoff thinks Daniels is 100-some pounds, Flair doesn't know him, and we've listened to Bully Ray mock his mascara and finger nail paint. I know those guys are heels, but it just feels like someone should be putting over the return as a major event. Maybe the announcers will do that later. By the way, does anyone remember Triple H mocking Undertaker's mascara during their promos leading up to WrestleMania? Yeah, me neither.

Backstage, Mr. Anderson read a note from Sting that said it's show time. Anderson said wished that Sting had sent him flowers...

[Q2] [C] Backstage, Hogan threw a tantrum about The Network. He said they are thinking like a wrestler and said someone must be in there smartening them up. He asked Bischoff to straighten it out. Bischoff said he's doing everything he can. Hogan spotted the camera, said he's tired of the damn network, and slammed the door...

Powell's POV: He kisses The Network's ass while in the studio, but rips them backstage even if he knows he's on camera? Dixie Carter is behind The Network, right?

1. Hernandez and Anarchia (w/Sarita, Rosita) beat Tommy Dreamer and Devon in 2:00. The announcers hyped that TNA is available in Spanish. There was a giant Mexican flag that blocked the view of all but two rows of fans positioned behind it off the main floor. Devon planted a kiss on Rosita for reasons only Vince Russo and Matt Conway would understand. Anarchia hit Devon with a chair behind the ref's back, which led to the pin.

After the match, Mexican America continued to attack Dreamer and Devon. Hernandez was about to Border Toss Dreamer to the floor when Matt Morgan ran out for the save. Anarchia tried to hit Morgan from behind, but Morgan caught him. Hernandez fled and Morgan chokeslammed Anarchia...

The announcers hyped a Knockouts Tag Title match, and Jeff Jarrett for later in the show... [C]

Powell's POV: Can they please just make the Lockdown match Morgan vs. Mexican America with the idea being that one guy takes out this lousy faction once and for all? Let me dream.

[Q3] Backstage, Winter told Angelina that she loves her and will always be there for her. She encouraged Angelina to drink from a cup...

Powell's POV: So are we supposed to believe that Winter keeps Angelina drugged 24 hours a day or only when they show up at the Impact Zone? If it's the latter, then Angelina is really stupid.

2. Samoa Joe beat Murphy in 0:45. The Pope sat in on commentary and they talked about how his Lockdown match as Street vs. Submission. Joe won quickly with a rear naked choke...

Backstage, a camera followed Anderson. He got another note from Sting, who wants to finish what they started...

Powell's POV: Sting has nice handwriting, and it's very polite of him to send cards to his opponent. Wait, what?!?

3. Sarita and Rosita beat Angelina Love and Velvet Sky to retain the TNA Knockouts Tag Titles in 2:00. Velvet had to steer zombie-like Angelina to the ring for the match. Knowing she was a mess, Velvet acted surprised when she tried to tag Love into the ring and she gave her a blank look.

Winter walked onto the stage, got Love's attention, and motioned with her hands. Love snapped Sky's neck off the ropes and then punched her repeatedly. Love went back into her trance and walked toward Winter. Sky was quickly pinned by Rosita...

Powell's POV: TNA did a better job of dealing with a wasted wrestler at Victory Road than they did in this match. Oh, come on, how I could I not go there? They make it way too easy.

Backstage, Mr. Anderson yelled for Sting. He found Eric Young and Orlando Jordan. Leave it to the nut job Young to point out the obvious, which is that Sting was probably in the rafters. Jordan said he likes Anderson's "whole asshole thing." Anderson's jaw dropped and then he thanked him...

Powell's POV: I have a crude sense of humor, so I must admit that the asshole line from Jordan got a chuckle out of me. Has anyone bothered to check the rafters after Sting leaves? I mean it's not normal for a grown ass man to hang out in the rafters by himself. It could be as harmless as centerfolds taped to the wall or something much darker. Are there any reports of missing pets around the Impact Zone?

[Q4] [C] After the break, Anderson explored the rafters with a pipe in hand. This led to the most annoying sounds I've heard since Dumb and Dumber, as the mic picked up some horrible sounds from the equipment. Rob Van Dam was wearing Sting's trench coach when he snuck up from behind Anderson and said it was 4:20 and Anderson was about to get smoked.

Van Dam roughed up Anderson, who sure does get his ass kicked a lot lately. The beating went on for a bit, and Van Dam choked out Anderson with the pipe. "See you later, asshole," Van Dam said to the fallen Anderson... [C]

Powell's POV: Wait, so Sting hangs out in the rafters, and RVD shows up in the same rafters wearing Sting's jacket? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Get your mind out of the gutter. I was thinking that RVD borrowed Paul Heyman's trench coat.

A video package recapped the Sting vs. RVD vs. Mr. Anderson drama... A replay aired of the segment we just watched with RVD attacking Anderson...

Sting made his entrance and slapped hands with the fans at ringside. Once in the ring, Sting said it's a good night and he needed some company in the ring, so he asked RVD to join him...

[Q5] Rob Van Dam's music played and he headed to the ring. Sting said he returned to TNA for the primary reason of stopping Hogan and Bischoff, but he keeps getting distracted by RVD. Van Dam recalled Sting hitting him with the baseball bat repeatedly back in March. Hey, I actually remember that!

Sting publicly apologized. He said RVD used him as a pawn in his game with Anderson, and if he's going to imitate him, he has to deal with him. RVD recalled working the undercard matches that Sting was headlining early in his career. RVD said things have changed.

The bad NWO music played. Hogan and Bischoff headed onto the stage. Hogan said he likes RVD's new attitude. Hogan said RVD makes him want to do something crazy. He said he and Eric talked, and it will be Sting vs. RVD in the ring tonight. Hogan made the RVD gesture on the stage before heading to the back... [C]

Powell's POV: They are trying to lead viewers to believe that RVD is with Immortal. Call me crazy, but my guess is that this is the swerve of a swerve. Everyone is expecting the usual swerve in that it will be someone else, so this time they'll swerve everyone by going with RVD since he's the last guy we suspect. Yes, Impact makes you crazy after repeated viewings.

Outside the building, Tara told Madison Rayne that she's going insane and she wasn't going to do whatever she had planned. Tara tried to walk away, but Madison reminded her that she's back in TNA because of her. Tara said she wasn't comfortable with it. They got on the motorcycle together and drove away...

The announcers hyped Daniels vs. Bully Ray in a lumberjack match, and RVD vs. Sting... [C]

Powell's POV: I'm happy they mentioned the lumberjack match because I forgot to mention that I was impressed by the enthusiasm Taz showed on commentary earlier when Mike Tenay mentioned the lumberjack stipulation. His reaction made it seem like he is genuinely excited about the match, which can only help the viewers feel like it's important.

Backstage, a limping Anderson used his pipe to knock RVD and Sting pictures off the wall. When he got to Hulk Hogan's picture, he stopped and looked at it...

Powell's POV: There's a picture of A.J. Styles in his Nature Boy Jr. robe that really needs to be removed now that he's in Fortune.

4. Chris Sabin, Suicide, and Brian "The Price is Right" Kendrick beat Robbie E (w/Cookie) and Generation Me in 5:00. Tenay said there will be a nine-man X Division match at Lockdown with the goal being to escape the cage first. They also acknowledged the match that Generation Me had against one another last week. No, they did not acknowledge Kendrick's TPIR appearance.

[Q6] Late in the match, Max Buck was pissed that Jeremy was about to perform a top rope move on Kendrick, so he tripped him up and then DDT'd him. Kendrick made the cover and got the win. Max took off the Generation Me armband and threw it at his fallen brother...

Powell's POV: "The price is wrong, bitch." The announcers did what they could to explain what happened.

Backstage, Hulk Hogan lectured Murphy and Rob Terry for embarrassing Immortal. Hogan had Gunner slap them both. "My pleasure," Gunner said before following his orders. The other two weren't happy, but Hogan yelled at them. As the job squad left the room, Mr. Anderson entered.

Hogan asked Anderson what he wanted and told him to put the pipe down. Anderson said he's tried of getting beat up every week. He asked Hogan if he could be the referee in the match between Sting and RVD. "What do I get out of this?" Hogan asked. Anderson said he would scratch Hogan's back. Hogan shook his hand and said he has been waiting for this day for a long time. Hogan told Anderson to bring the pipe to the ring with him...

Outside the building, Tara and Madison were picking up the motorcycle off of the fallen Mickie James. After the heels fled, the camera guy put the camera down to check on Mickie, who didn't move a muscle... [C]

Powell's POV: This was not exactly the perfect crime. In addition to the camera guy catching them leaving the scene, Madison was also yelling at the top of her lungs. It falls into the "so bad it was good" category for me, as it was so insanely stupid that I laughed.

It turns out the camera man actually caught them driving toward Mickie James, but didn't actually catch the impact. After that highlight clip aired, Al Snow and some of the other backstage personalities got their weekly moment in the sun by telling Mickie not to move...

5. Bully Ray beat Daniels in a lumberjack match in 5:15. The lumberjacks were Flair, Abyss, Hardy, Beer Money, and Kazarian.

[Q7] The lumberjacks did the usual lumberjack brawling. Hulk Hogan came out and hit Daniels with a chain while referee Jackson James was distracted by the brawling lumberjacks. Bully Ray used Hogan's distraction to get the pin...

Powell's POV: The canned heat they have been using is really bad. They piped in loud boos after Hogan hit Daniels and they kept going as the heels celebrated even though you could see a good sample of fans weren't reacting period. I don't care if they try to make it sound better, but they have to be careful with their camera shots because it looks really low budget when they're caught using fake noise.

Jeff Jarrett came to the ring and highlights aired of Kurt Angle being arrested last week due to Karen Jarrett's acting performance. Jarrett, who stood inside ring with three of the four sides of the cage set up, said he and Karen have decided that they won't let the kids visit Kurt in prison. Jeff said his wife was going to come out to deliver a few choice words.

Kurt Angle's music played instead. Kurt performed the Suicide entrance and then the production crew set up the other side of the cage. Karen ran out and distracted Kurt. Jeff used the distraction to climb over the top of the cage and they ran to the back...

Powell's POV: The comment about the kids not going to visit Kurt in prison got a laugh out of me even though I think it's stupid to go forward with the Kurt arrest angle even though he was legitimately arrested. The cage gimmick was horrible unless the idea is that this was a set up for the need to have a roof on the cage. Even then, it does seem odd to show everyone how easy it is to escape a cage when all but one other pay-per-view match (Lethal Lockdown) won't use a roof.

[Q8] [C] Backstage, Kurt Angle said the police knew Karen Jarrett set him up and thought she was a bigger bitch than he said she was. Kurt said The Network has added a new stipulation to the Lockdown match but did not say what it was...

6. Rob Van Dam pinned Sting with Mr. Anderson as special referee. Sting hit a Scorpion Death Drop on Anderson, but Anderson hit Sting with the Mic Check. Van Dam recovered and hit the Five Star Frog Splash and got the pin. Tenay pointed out that Van Dam didn't see Anderson hit the Mic Check on Sting.

After the match, Anderson called for the TNA Title belt. Once he got it, he turned around and slammed it into Van Dam's head. "Are you okay, buddy?" Anderson asked him. Rob Terry and Murphy walked onto the stage and clapped for Anderson. They walked to the ring and put him on their shoulders.

Hulk Hogan walked onto the stage and clapped for Anderson, who looked at Hogan and clapped. They even blew each other kisses. They eventually put him down, only to have Anderson hit both men with the Mic Check. Hogan wasn't happy. Anderson mocked Hogan's ear cupping routine.

"You son of a bitch," Hogan said as he headed backstage. He said Anderson looked him in the eye and gave him his word. He said he'll see Anderson next week...

Powell's POV: I'm more convinced than ever that Van Dam is the guy joining Immortal. If they really want to surprise me, they'll leave Sting and RVD faces, keep Anderson a tweener, and no one will join Immortal at Lockdown. Overall, the usual quirky TNA show. I'm happy that we only have one more edition of Impact because the dynamic between Sting, Anderson, and Van Dam is getting tiresome. I'll have more to say about the show on Friday in the TNA Impact Hitlist.

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