By Chris Shore

TNA Impact on Spike TV
Taped in Orlando, Florida.

Shore's Slant: The "Week of Chris Shore" continues on Dot Net as I am privileged to join you for Impact. Well, I'm privileged to join you, not so much in covering Impact. Thanks for watching with me tonight.

[Q1] A video hyped the Matt Morgan vs. Ken Anderson Number One Contender's match…The title this week is "Head Games."…Mr. Anderson was shown backstage "earlier today." He pitched a fit and Matt Morgan walked up. He asked what Anderson was so upset about. He said he was on the board with him to face Jeff Hardy. He said he figured Anderson would be happy. Anderson said his word was his bond. Morgan said it wasn't good enough. Anderson said it would have to be.

Morgan made his ring entrance. He cut a promo on choosing to protect Anderson and turning his back on Fortune and company. He said he knew he made the right decision. He said tonight he and Anderson would face Hardy and Kazarian. Morgan said he couldn’t protect Anderson anymore once that bell rang. Morgan said he would have Anderson's back, but he wanted to know if Anderson really had his.

Anderson's music hit and he made his ring entrance. Anderson said he appreciated what all Morgan had done for him, but he could take care of himself. Anderson he was here to wrestle. He asked if Morgan needed a note from his mommy or his doctor. Morgan said if Anderson really loved all his asshole fans he would show the nonexistent doctor's note.

Morgan asked about their pledge to Chris Nowiski's Sport's Institute. He said when piss-ant promoters like Eric Bischoff tried to make them perform hurt, they were supposed to tell them to f-off. He said he wanted to know if Anderson has his back 100 percent.

Jeff Hardy's music hit and he came out to the ramp. He said they should get married at Genesis instead of having a match. They called each other bitches and used corny jokes for a minute and then Hardy tried to sell Morgan as the shifty one to Anderson. He and Morgan stared at each other. Hardy said all the marks in the building knew they were nothing but con-men…Taz and Mike Tenay ran down the card for tonight…

[Q2] 1. Jay Lethal defeated Robbie E. (w/Cookie) to become the new X Division Champion at 10:25. Robbie whipped Lethal and Cookie grabbed his leg to trip him. Christie Hemme ran to the ring and attacked Cookie. She handcuffed Cookie and her together as Robbie stomped Lethal in the ring…[C]

Shore's Slant: God I had forgotten how chaotic Impact was. I thought the opening segment was pretty good, if a little long. Morgan does well enough on the mic, we know Anderson's skillz, and Jeff's heel character is supposed to sound like a tool so it all works out in the end.

Back at 5:31, Lethal hooked a small package for two. Robbie hit an elbow for two and slapped Lethal around. Lethal hulked up, but Robbie hit a side Russian leg sweep for two. Cookie screamed for Robbie and Hemme beat her up. Robbie worked a chinlock. Lethal powered out and they traded blows. Lethal reversed a whip into a snap suplex and hit the Lethal Combination. Lethal went to the top and hit an elbow for a great near fall.

Lethal missed a splash in the corner and Robbie hooked a rollup with his feet on the ropes. Hebner broke at two. Robbie went to the top, and Lethal attacked and hit a top rope superplex. Cookie tried to slip Robbie the spray, but Hemme stopped her and sprayed Cookie in the face with the spray. Lethal hit the Lethal Injection for the win. Post-match Hemme unhooked the cuffs and climbed in the ring to celebrate with Lethal. Lethal dipped her and planted one right on the lips…

Backstage, AJ Styles was talking to Eric Bischoff about how Robbie was a loser because he couldn’t hold onto his title. Bischoff asked if he knew was irony was. He said AJ had to earn his keep and to do that, he had to get his TV Title back…[C]

Shore's Slant: Very good opening match that told a nice story. I don’t see that often in TNA, and it's a nice change. Of course we see why titles don’t mean anything in TNA either. These three minute title reigns diminish titles.

Back from commercial, Doug Williams was out back and was asked about beating Styles with his own move. He said he thought it was appropriate. He called Magnus over and they talked about him and Desmond Wolfe. Magnus said Desmond would be back soon. He went into the locker room and AJ Styles attacked him.

[Q3] Styles beat Williams all over the trailer including into the dressing room where Tara and Madison Rain were. Styles called them hookers while he destroyed their dressing room and left William lying…

Backstage, Eric Young walked up with a title belt on and two girls to Orlando Jordan. He asked where Young got the title. Young said he found it in the trash. He sent OJ and the girls away and then asked for advice from his Sensei (Thanks to DotNet reader Ryan Kester for setting me straight). The guy mumbled something and Young called him brilliant…

Shore's Slant: OK, that last part was so bizarre I kind of blanked out. I miss one week and I have no idea what is going on. That's rough.

Backstage Jeff Hardy said he had gotten in Anderson's head and that he and Morgan would implode…

[Q4] Generation Me made their ring entrance as a video showed their altercation with Young last week. Young and the Hooter's girls made their ring entrance. OJ made his entrance in the official Hooter's Girl outfit. Nice. Before the match, Young took the mic and said his title would be defended in a Battle Royal. He jumped in the ring and tossed the ref over the top. The ref slid back in and started the match…

2. Eric Young and Orlando Jordan defeated Generation Me at 2:50. Young "eliminated both members of Generation Me and then tossed OJ too. He celebrated his win until Gen-Me attacked from behind. OJ won with some sort of submission wrist lock…

Backstage, Mickie James walked up to Eric Bischoff and asked if Bischoff was going to tell her who her partner was. Bischoff said yes, Miss Tessmacher. Mickie said she wasn't a wrestler. Bischoff said she wasn't much of a secretary either…Tara and Madison Rain were shown heading towards the ring…[C]

Shore's Slant: I would buy a PPV to see Eric Young vs. Santino Marella. I swear I would. I'm pretty sure that's the last sign of insanity, but after David Arquette and Impact in the same week, what do you expect?

A video recapped Velvet Sky and Angelina Love winning last week…Tara and Madison made their ring entrance. A video recapped the cage mask from last week, and the announce team put over Tara's torn ligaments from the cage match. Mickie James and Miss Tessmacher were out next…

3. Tara and Madison Rain defeated Mickie James and Miss Tessmacher in a Knockouts Tag Team Title Tournament semi-final at 4:32. Madison and Mickie started, but Madison demanded Miss Tessmacher. Mickie tagged out and Madison tried to punk Tessmacher. Tessmacher slapped her and Madison pushed her. Tesmacher hit several arm drags and a dropkick. Madison drove her into the turn buckle and went to work.

[Q5] Mickie finally got the hot tag and laid out Madison. She setup for the DDT, but stopped and went after Tara. Tara hit her with her hard elbow brace and Madison covered for the win…

Backstage, Kazarian was walking and talking about his match. He walked on Rob Terry and wished him luck in his big match. He said a lot of important eyes were on him tonight and Terry needed all the help he could get. Terry told him to screw off. Kazarian threatened him and Terry stormed off. Kazarian shhok his head and walked away…[C]

Shore's Slant: Miss Tessmacher did OK to be greener than a head of broccoli. This match was boring and predictable. We get the Beautiful People feud part two next week and look for Mickie to interfere on Tara causing them to lose. In protest, Tara will set the ring on fire. I kid, I kid!

The Pope collected another donation…Brother Ray made his ring entrance as a video recapped his match last week. Ray said no one had never been worthy of being his tag team partner, especially Devon. He said Ray called him a bully, and he said he is Bully Ray. He said he started his single career tonight and he picked the biggest and toughest guy in the locker room to kick it off with. Amazing Red made his ring entrance…

4. Bully Ray squashed Amazing Red at 3:11. Ray hit a big clothesline as soon as Red got in the ring. The crowd chanted, "We want Devon," as Ray worked Red like he was Big Show. Ray let Red punch him once and Red got in a missile dropkick. That was it. Ray hit a big boot and then the Bully Drop for the win. Post-match, Ray grabbed a chair from the Hooters girls and climbed in the ring. Devon made the save and chased Ray through the crowd…Jeff Jarrett put over his challenge for later…[C]

Shore's Slant: While the 3D match at Genesis will not be a technical masterpiece, it should still be pretty good due to the drama around it.

[Q6] The Hooter's girls were shown ringside…Rob Terry made his ring entrance. RVD was out next. Before the match started, RVD took a mic and addressed Bischoff. He said it didn’t matter who was put in front of him, he wasn't stopping until he got his title back and Hardy's ass…

5. Rob Van Dam defeated Rob Terry at 9:33. RVD hit several quick kicks and got Terry on the mat. He tried for a crossbody, but Terry caught him and hit a World's Strongest Slam to take control. RVD managed to hit a springboard back kick, but Terry hit a spear to send us into the break…[C]

Back at 6:48, Terry tossed RVD from the ring onto the retaining wall. He rolled RVD back in the ring and hit a backbreaker into a slam for two.

[Q7] Terry worked a bearhug. RVD battled out and went on a kicking spree. He hit Rolling Thunder and followed with the Five Star Frogsplash for the win. Post-match, Terry looked crazed as RVD left the ring…The announce team hyped the Jeff Jarrett MA challenge and setup a video that recapped Jarrett's MMA "career."…

Backstage, Pope pulled up in front of a building and had his car valet parked. He walked into the build which had a sign that said Rachael's Adult Entertainment…[C]

Shore's Slant: Terry just never gets better, does he? I mean, at least he's a controlled bore now, but he never gets better. It's stunning really. That match finished very quickly. Terry had a bearhug and Van Dam hit two kicks and two moves to win. Doesn't make the big guy look that good does it?

Jeff Jarrett and his new corner crew made their ring entrance. They got Jarrett all lubed up as a fan screamed obscenities at him. Borash announced the challenge. He asked if there was anyone who wanted to take the challenge. Jarrett punked a couple of people and then picked the inside guy. He climbed in the ring and gave his name and said he was from Puerto Rico. Jarrett asked him his favorite wrestler and the guy said Mickie James. Jarrett slapped him and called for the bell. The guy threw his hat at Jarrett and grabbed him.

[Q8] Jarrett brutalized him with knees to the head and applied the rear naked choke until the kid tapped…The main event teams were shown backstage…[C]

Shore's Slant: You know if Jeff Jarrett was half as awesome as he thinks he is, he would still be in WWE and none of us would have ever heard the name John Cena.

Kazarian and Hardy made their ring entrance. Morgan and Anderson entered separately…

6. Kazarian and Jeff Hardy defeated Matt Morgan and Mr. Anderson at 6:33. Anderson and Hardy started. Hardy flipped Anderson off and tagged in Kazarian. Kazarian acted like he was knocked loopy and Anderson punched him in the face. Anderson went on the quick attacked, but Kazarian hit an insaguri to the back of the head for two. Kennedy fought back and strong whipped Kazarian to the corner. Kazarian bounced out and fell. His head "accidentally" hit Anderson in the head.

Morgan got the hot tag and worked over Kazarian. Anderson sold the head blows and struggled to get to his feet on the apron. Morgan went after Jeff and Jeff pulled the rope down, spilling Morgan to the floor. Anderson distracted the ref as Jeff worked Morgan on the floor. He rolled Morgan back in the ring and he and Hardy worked in and out on Morgan. Kazarian hit Anderson in the head again.

[Overrun] Anderson suddenly recovered and ran in. He and Morgan worked double team moves to take out Hardy and Kazarian. Kazarian shoved Anderson into the ref before Morgan attacked him. Morgan worked Kazarian in the corner as Anderson went to the top. Rob Terry ran out and pushed Anderson off the top. Morgan ran over and Terry hit a hangman on the top rope. Jeff Hardy hit the Twist of Fate and the ref recovered for the win. Post-match, Hardy and Kazarian left the ring as Anderson and Morgan looked at each other. Morgan left the ring to end the show…

Shore's Slant: An overbooked main event in TNA? I'm shocked. Actually that's not fair, this wasn't too bad. If you're going to keep Rob Terry around you have to do something with him, and this at least made sense after RVD beat him in four moves earlier. The nWo angle take 45 is playing out as well as all of them have. Too many people on one side and not enough storyline to go around. I'll have more to say tomorrow on the hitlist. Thanks for reading and I'll see you then.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com with whatever is on your mind.

RECOMMEND THIS ARTICLE: