By Jason Powell

TNA Impact on Spike TV
Taped at Universal Studios in Orlando, Fla.

[Q1] The show opened with a recap of last week's television show and the Immortal formation... The show is called "Rob Van Damned"...

Mr. Anderson came to the ring for a promo with his arm in a sling. Anderson said he was begging Jeff Hardy to take his little testicles out of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff's purse, put his panties on his arms, and get his ass to the ring.

Rob Van Dam's music played instead. Van Dam came to the ring and complained about being screwed out of the TNA Title, which he pointed out he's never lost. Van Dam said Hardy should come out, but Anderson would have to wait in line.

Jeff Hardy appeared on the video screen and said he did Anderson and Van Dam wrong. He asked if they could find it in their hearts to forgive him. It was the same cool footage as last week with the film flashes.

Eric Bischoff walked onto the stage and invited Van Dam and Anderson to watch TNA Reaction where he will explain the masterpiece formation of the Immortals faction. Bischoff asked Anderson to forgive him for not giving him a fair chance to win the TNA Title.

Bischoff said he was going to make it up to Anderson by booking him in an Ultimate X match against Kazarian. He said that if anyone can grab the X symbol, it's Anderson, who then looked down at his own bad arm.

Bischoff turned his attention. He said his phone has been blowing up because everybody wants to be part of Immortal. Bischoff said Van Dam shouldn't be paranoid. He said Van Dam will team up with someone he probably thinks is his dear friend in Sabu in a match against Beer Money...

Powell's POV: Good opening segment with Van Dam and Anderson both wanting to get their hands on Hardy, another odd but effective heel promo from Hardy, and Bischoff stirring the pot by trying to make Van Dam suspicious of Sabu heading into their tag match.

A new opening montage aired... Mike Tenay and Taz checked in on commentary and ran through the lineup for the show...

The TNA filmed footage that aired on TMZ aired with Cookie badmouthing JWoww in a parking lot. The TMZ logo was in the right corner of the screen... [C]

Powell's POV: Okay, so TMZ does get something out of this apparent deal between them and TNA. I don't blame TNA for going for the exposure, but I do question why TMZ would try to showcase an obvious wrestling angle with a semi straight face.

[Q2] Backstage, D-Lo Brown tried to calm down Rob Van Dam as he entered the EV2 locker room. Van Dam questioned which one of the had been talking to Bischoff about joining Immortal. He questioned a couple of them and then choked Raven until the other former ECW wrestlers pulled him off...

A recap of last week's JWoww and Cookie angle aired. Plus, the "TMZ footage" of Cookie cutting a promo on JWoww was shown...

1. Robbie E (w/Cookie) defeated Amazing Red in 1:40. The announcers spent the opening minute of the match discussing the fact that it was their first show without Dixie Carter at the helm. Tenay said he misses the trust factor he had with Dixie. Taz said he trusts Bischoff and Hulk Hogan. Tenay asked Taz if he changes with the wind.

Meanwhile, Robbie used a Diamond Cutter to get the clean pin. Afterward, Cookie entered the ring. Robbie told Jay Lethal to take notice of what he did to his little buddy Red. The fans chanted "Boring." Cookie delivered her "Jersey's in the house, bitches"...

Footage aired of D'Angelo Dinero in the VIP room of what was apparently supposed to be a titty bar. Pope cut a promo on A.J. Styles and said he wants to fight him...

Powell's POV: Is Pope supposed to be cool at a titty bar or are they overcompensating for something? By the way, the live crowd's reaction to Robbie E and Cookie was rough but not unexpected. They both have talent, but this angle is a turnoff to wrestling fans. Obviously, TNA is hoping to counter that by bringing in new eyes via the JWoww publicity stunt.

Footage aired from a Mick Foley book signing. Brian Kendrick was shown asking a question. He got all deep and the fans at the Q&A cracked up. Foley had a funny comeback about how his book works on so many different levels.

[Q3] Additional footage aired of Kendrick talking to Foley and asking him to sign his book to Spanky... Backstage, Fortune were shown cracking jokes. James Storm referred to RVD as STD. A.J. Styles responded to Pope's promo by saying he would put his TNA Title on the line.

Flair grabbed the title belt and found a bottle of Smirnoff Ice. You know what means, Flair was iced again. Bischoff showed up and said that if Fortune interferes in the TV Title match, Styles will be stripped of the TV Title. Styles questioned what the deal was. Flair acted surprised...

Powell's POV: The fun loving Fortune group will get over as babyfaces when the time comes for them to feud with the Immortal faction. However, my guess is that Immortal interferes tonight.

Backstage, Miss Tessmacher entered The Beautiful People locker room and said she took her power too far. She asked them to teach her how to wrestle because she wants to learn from the best. Velvet Sky told her to kiss her ass.

When Velvet and Lacey Von Erich left the ring, Angelina Love looked in the mirror and saw Katie Lea Burchill standing behind her. Burchill said her name is Winter and she's a big fan of Love's. Velvet entered the room and when Love turned around, Winter (a/k/a Burchill) was gone...

Powell's POV: I just about spit water all over my laptop when Tessmacher said she wanted the Beautiful People to teach her how to wrestle because she wants to learn from the best. That said, cool segment with Winter. They're off to a good, eery start with Katie Lea Burchill. I'd love to see her WWE storyline brother Paul join the company too at some point.

2. A.J. Styles defeated D'Angelo Dinero in a street fight to retain the TV Title in 5:55. Both men wrestled in street clothes. There wasn't much of a reaction from the crowd when they started fighting on the entrance ramp, but the fans warmed up to the match once they made it to the ring less than a minute later.

[Q4] The two wrestlers traded punches in the middle of the ring and the crowd was really into Pope getting the better of it. Pope was in control of the match when Abyss hit the ring at 4:55 and attacked him from behind. There were no disqualifications in a street fight, so the ref stood and watched as Abyss hit the Black Hole Slam.

Styles patted Abyss on the ass. Abyss stopped and glared at him for a couple of seconds. Styles covered Pope. Earl Hebner made a slow count to show that he was frustrated by the way Styles was winning the match. Afterward, Fortune, Eric Bischoff, and Abyss stood on the ramp and applauded Styles...

A pre-taped segment aired with Sarita taking a brief break from a yoga workout to hype her match against Mickie James. She said with a cocky grin that it's too bad TNA didn't give James an easier opponent...

Powell's POV: That's the best Sarita has come across on the mic in TNA. It was nothing special, but she definitely showed more charisma than she has in the past...

Backstage, Pope literally bumped into Samoa Joe and mocked him for staying backstage when he was being beaten down in a two-on-one attack. Joe told him he must be crazy if he thought he'd get his help. Pope said everybody needs somebody sometime. Fortunately, he didn't start singing the song...

A video package on Team 3D talking about their retirement. Brother Ray told a story about Alexander The Great crying when he looked out onto the landscape and realized that there was no more land left to conquer.

Ray said they feel the same about tag team wrestling. He said Devon has a big family he wants to spend time with, and Ray has a career in the music industry that he wants to pursue. He said it's one more match and they retire as tag champs or the Machine Guns get to say they put them on the shelf...

Powell's POV: Good video package that went a tad too long. Let the speculation begin that Bubba Ray will be the new singer of Velvet Revolver!

Footage aired from earlier today of the Machine Guns playing catch with a football while Velvet Sky stood by. Generation Me showed up and shoves were exchanged. The Guns hit Generation me with simultaneous punches and walked away...

Powell's POV: Will Generation Me ever get heat? I'm happy to see the feud is still going, though.

[Q5] A video package focussed on the Jeff Jarrett and Kurt Angle saga and Samoa Joe's feud with Jarrett. Jeff said he owes Kurt more than an apology. He said he was going to do just that tonight... [C]

Jarrett came to the ring and received some "You sold out" and "Jarrett sucks" chants. Jarrett said he was there to publicly apologize to Angle. He said that if Kurt was standing in front of him, he would tell him how much deeply regrets...not kicking the crap and hell out of him more than he actually did.

Jarrett said the king is back on top of the mountain again. He said that Angle is the first of many that he made and will break. Jarrett said he gave Angle a job when no one wanted him. Jeff said he's stripped Angle of everything - his dignity, his pride, his honor, and his precious career.

Samoa Joe's entrance music interrupted Jarrett. Joe headed to the ring, but he was cut of by Murphy and Gunner the latest overzealous security guards in TNA. Jarrett came out and handcuffed Joe, who managed to choke Jarrett from behind briefly. However, Joe was eventually outnumbered as the three heels punched him and made their way up to the stage.

Jarrett threw Joe over the ramp on the stage. Joe's fall wasn't shown. Mike Tenay stood up. "I don't believe it," Tenay said. "What the hell has gotten into you? What the hell has gotten into you? Eight years we heard all the pep talks... What have you done, Jeff? You turned your back on us. You turned your back on all of us."

Jarrrett looked down. He stopped to look up at the booing ans. He walked over to the ramp and looked down at the fallen Joe. "Looks like Joe needs a little help, doesn't he, guys?" Jarrett asked with a sinister grin...

Powell's POV: No! Anything but angry Mike Tenay promos and stupid Mike Tenay angry faces. I'm also worried that Jarrett's new t-shirt shows a skeleton with a guitar. Please tell me they're not going to bring back the overplayed guitar shot crap. I'm curious to see how Jarrett does as a heel, but I hope he realizes its time to stop using the guitar as a crutch. Nothing says dying days of Nitro to this viewer more than Jarrett hitting someone with a guitar. And nothing says "turn the channel" more than angry Mike Tenay silliness.

[Q6] [C] After the break, the announcers recapped the previous segment...

3. Beer Money beat Rob Van Dam and Sabu. Forgettable action while Sabu was in the ring, but thinks picked up with some good tag work once Van Dam tagged into the match. Late in the match, Storm tried to spit beer at RVD. Van Dam moved and Storm spat the beer into his partner's eyes.

However, Sabu threw a chair at Robert Roode, who ducked, causing the chair to strike Van Dam. Beer Money got the pin. Afterward, Sabu tried to explain what happened, but Van Dam was pissed. They squared off and were about to wrestle. It felt like time stood still as they waited for the rest of EV2 to hit the ring and pull them apart...

Powell's POV: Van Dam wore a shirt during the match. Maybe there's something in the EV2 contract that at least one member of EV2 must wear a shirt in every match they work. Good play on Bischoff's promo from earlier that was designed to make Van Dam paranoid.

Mickie James cut a promo while sitting on the top of a fake bull. She said Sarita is a world class athlete, but she's a world class champion. "And that's no bull," James concluded...

Powell's POV: I know she's a country chick now, but I hope they don't push that too aggressively. I'm all for having a variety of music on wrestling shows. I just wonder if Mickie going so country will turn off some of her wrestling fans.

[Q7] [C] Backstage, Bischoff told Kazarian that he came highly recommended by Ric Flair. He said he just spoke with Hulk Hogan, who has 110 percent confidence in Kazarian...

4. Mickie James defeated Sarita. Yee-haw! Mickie came out to the hardcore country song wearing a country outfit that included Daisy Duke shorts. Um, maybe this country thing isn't so bad after all.

Tenay spent a good portion of the match hyping TNA Reaction and needling Taz over being buddies with Hogan and Bischoff. You know, why focus on the debut of one of the most popular female wrestlers in the world. I'm guessing that wasn't his call, though.

In the end, James hit a top rope Thesz Press and followed up with a kick before getting the pin. After the match, Tara ran out and attacked Mickie. Tara hit James with the Widow's Peak. The announcers said Tara will do anything to keep Mickie away from TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne...

Powell's POV: Underwhelming both in terms of the match and especially the in-ring debut of James on Impact (yes, I know she worked as Alexis Laree before she went to WWE). This should have been a feel good moment, but it felt like just another match. Too bad. Although I joked about the Daisy Duke shorts, I remain concerned that James's country gimmick won't appeal to everyone.

Backstage, Mr. Anderson sat with his arm in a sling and said it was courtesy of his good buddy Jeff Hardy. He said he has a busted shoulder and a broken leg. He said there are only three things in life that are certain and that's death, taxes, and him whipping the shit out of Jeff Hardy... [C]

Powell's POV: Is Anderson wrestling Hardy or Kazarian tonight?

[Q8] Backstage, Mickie James told a camera guy that she was heading to Bischoff's office because Tara just messed with the wrong girl...

Mr. Anderson was shown walking backstage when he encountered A.J. Styles. The rest of Fortune attacked Anderson from behind. They picked him up and brought him onto the stage where they left him lying. Kazarian made his entrance and acted surprised to see Anderson lying on the stage.

5. Kazarian defeated Mr. Anderson in an Ultimate X match in 9:20. Kazarian headed to the ring and ordered the referee to ring the bell that you can barely hear because they don't mic the damn thing. Kazarian climbed the wire and was about to grab the X symbol when Anderson raced to the ring and stopped him.

Anderson headed to ringside and was looking under the ring for something when Kazarian slide kicked him. Kazarian was beating him up at ringside when the show went to break. [C]

Powell's POV: I was actually hoping that Kazarian was going to win the match without ever touching Anderson. I just hate the idea of giving away an Ultimate X match on television with no build. It's TNA's best gimmick match and they haven't done a good job of making it seem special lately.

Kazarian did the bulk of the work by taking big bumps of the wires. Anderson sold his arm injury and tried to climb the wire a couple of times but was unable to do so. He got Kazarian down, set up a ladder, and was about to retrieve the X symbol when Fortune ran out and attacked him.

Matt Morgan powerbombed Anderson. Kazarian sat on Morgan's shoulders and pulled down the X symbol to win the match. As Fortune celebrated, Anderson pulled out a pipe and attacked them with it. Jeff Hardy ran out and slammed the chair over Anderson back and head. Anderson bled heavily from the head.

[Overrun] Hardy wrapped Anderson's arm in the ladder and slammed the chair down on it. Hardy stood in the center of the ring and posed. He looked down at the bloody Anderson and then to the fans. Hardy headed to ringside and tore up a fan sign...

Backstage, Bischoff congratulated Flair on "a hell of a night." They climbed inside an SUV and were heading off to a club when the SUV stopped. Kurt Angle was standing in front of the SUV with a pipe in his hand. Angle smashed the back window of the SUV.

Gunner and Murphy ran out with tire irons and Angle, who had his arm in a sling, backed away. Flair and Bischoff exited the SUV. Flair told the security guards to put Angle's ass in jail. The show concluded and went right into TNA Reaction...

Powell's POV: A logical main event and a really nasty cut on the back of Anderson's head. It looked like Hardy was aiming for the back, but hit Anderson higher than he intended to. I didn't care for Ultimate X being utilized even though it played into Anderson's arm injury. I just wish they would save that match for special events.

Overall, though, I enjoyed this show more than last week's effort. They were still a little short on in-ring action, but most of the talking was solid and I like way the babyfaces fought back only to be shot down. It's too soon for the babyfaces to get their revenge, but I like the way they showed who the babyface players are. I'll have more to say about the show in the TNA Impact Hitlist on Friday. Thanks for watching along with me tonight.

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