By Rich Twilling

TNA Impact on Spike TV
Taped in Orlando, Fla.

[Q1] A video package hyping the strange relationship between Mr. Anderson, the world's biggest asshole (according to him), and Jeff Hardy. Sting continues his mind games with RVD. Tonight's show is entitled "Smoke & Mirrors." ...

Mike Tenay and Taz welcomed us to the show. They hyped A.J. Styles vs. Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal. They showed the handshake between Anderson and Hardy last week...

Sting's music hit and he made his way to the ring to address the Impact Zone. Sting said it was ironic coming out of his mouth, but there were a lot of smoke and mirrors going on right now. What's black is white and what's white is black...

Twill's Two Cents: Have you seen that episode of "Family Guy" where they love it when someone says the title of the movie during the movie? Well, Sting just said "smoke and mirrors" and that is the title of the show.

Sting said he did not owe anyone an explanation. At Slammiversary, he was going to take the belt off of Rob Van Dam. "It's not personal Robbie; you are just in the way." Sting said after Slammiversary, everyone's true colors would be exposed...

Ominous music played and footage of Sting taking out Jeff Jarrett was shown. For some reason, Eric Bischoff and Miss Tessmacher came out. Bischoff said Sting had already shown his true colors. He said superheroes did not use baseball bats and Sting is not a hero...

Twill's Two Cents: Superheroes don't use baseball bats, but they have a shit load of sweet gadgets.

Bischoff said the difference between Sting and Hulk Hogan was that Hogan and Bischoff cared about the fans and will continue to care about the fans. He said Sting was going to be in a match and that his opponent was standing behind him. It was Samoa Joe...

1. Sting vs. Samoa Joe ended in a no contest in :22. Joe was beating the shit out of Sting and was then attacked by Matt Morgan. RVD hit the ring and he helped Joe fight off the heels...

Bischoff came out to the stage and made a tag team match for later in the evening pitting RVD and Joe vs. Morgan and Sting. RVD said as the champion, he speaks for everybody. He said he wanted tonight's match to be a four way. Bischoff said he didn't have that power but he would talk to Hogan...

Twill's Two Cents: So, Eric has the power to book one main event on the fly, but did not have the power to change said main event and turn it into another main event on the fly? Did Hogan previously agree to a thrown together tag team main event but said absolutely not on a four way?

Cue Hogan's music. Hogan called RVD the whole F'N show and as the champion, he does have some stroke and some say around TNA. He changed the match to a four way main event... [C]

Twill's Two Cents: Why is it that TNA seemed to have something there with Joe beating the crap out of Sting, only to push him to the background for RVD and later Hogan? Hopefully Joe gets the chance to stand out later in the show.

[Q2] Christy Hemme asked a visibly pissed off A.J. Styles why he was pissed off. Styles said he was pissed off. He had a three way tonight and just found out about. Ric Flair entered and was excited about tonight.

Kazarian came in and thanked Flair for having so much Faith in him over the past couple of weeks. Flair felt good tonight because he has Kazarian and Styles in the three way and Lethal was going to look bad. Kazarian thanked Flair for giving him his watch. Styles looked pissed...

Twill's Two Cents: Oh no, please tell me that is not the watch Shawn Michaels gave him. When are all of the personal gifts going to stop?

2. Roxxi defeated Rosey Lotta Love in 1:41. Madison Rayne hit Roxxi in the back with her belt and instructed Rosey to pin her. Rosey wasn't happy with Rayne and when she went to pin Roxxi, Roxxi applied a small package to Rosey for the win...

Rayne berated Rosey in the rain and took a spinebuster for her troubles. JB interviewed Rosey on the ramp. She said she was big, bad, and beautiful. She said she would take out The Beautiful People together and then planted a kiss on Borash. "JB got lucky! It finally happened!" said Taz... [C]

Twill's Two Cents: I'm guessing the middle rope prefers Velvet Sky to Rosey. Seeing Rosey makes me miss Awesome Kong, but at least they gave her a microphone during this appearance. We know who she is and why she is there. Simple but effective.

[Q3] The Phenomenal A.J. Styles made his entrance. He had the Flair robe on but it wasn't tied or anything. Flair came out with Styles but A.J. was not happy with Ric...

3. Jay Lethal defeated A.J. Styles (with Ric Flair) and Kazarian in a triple threat match in 4:43. Styles exited the ring and stayed on the floor, but jumped in and hit Lethal with a closeline. Jay tried to hit a Lethal Combination but Kazarian hit a dropkick on Lethal in the middle of it.

Styles and Kazarian bickered as they were both trying to impress Flair. Lethal tried a springboard move on Styles, but Kazarian pushed Styles out of the way and hit a Diamond Cutter on Lethal. Then they both took turns hitting moves on him. Styles yelled, "You still suck!"

Styles told Kazarian he was going to springboard onto Lethal. Kazarian stepped aside. Styles slipped on the rope (purposely I think). Lethal then pushed Styles into Kazarian and rolled him up for the win...

After the match, Flair verbally undressed Styles. He said it was a gift to be Flair's protege. He said Styles needed to go home and figure things out. Look in the mirror. Make a lifetime decision. He said Styles was not in Flair's good graces.

Styles left the ring and went up the ramp. Kurt Angle's music hit and and he rose up from the stage to face Styles. A.J. blew his top and walked around Angle to the back. Angle headed to the ring... [C]

Twill's Two Cents: While Styles was a babyface the last time around, they did an angle where he had to figure things out and decide if he wanted to "be here." I feel he deserves so much better than that. Not only did Flair treat him like a little bitch, he made himself look like one by just leaving like Flair said. Disappointing segment. Good for Lethal though.

[Q4] Angle said he came out to show Kazarian proper respect before he made him his first victim. Kazarian looked scared out of his mind. Angle reminded everyone he wanted to work his way through the rankings starting from the bottom. He said Kazarian was number ten and at Slammiversary, his ass was Angle's.

Flair asked, "Do you realize you just walked by me without saying anything?" Flair told a story of how he wanted Reid Flair to be the best amateur wrestler in the world like Angle. He said he respected Angle, but as good as Angle was as an amateur, Flair was ten times better as a pro.

He continued and said he had "gold medals" too. He showed off his Hall of Fame ring and gold Rolex. Good thing he didn't give away that watch. Flair said he was God. He said like A.J., he wanted Angle to leave. Angle start to but Flair stopped him. He changed his mind and told Angle to hold the ropes for him.

Angle held the ropes and Flair strutted out of the ring. Angle caught up to Ric and whipped him off of the stage. Kazarian attacked Angle from behind but Angle quickly disposed of him and stood tall in the ring. Flair was irate and he stomped all over his own sports coat...

Twill's Two Cents: Mixed emotions on that one. Flair was great, but Flair is old. If Angle attacks Flair face to face like he should have, Styles would have looked even worse for not doing the same. Since Angle attacked Flair from behind, it made him look bad. Flair did nothing for Kazarian since Kaz was just standing there. Angle then got the upper hand on him quickly.

Hervey cam caught Matt Morgan approaching Sting. He suggested they get some "two on ones going on out there and at the end, let the chips fall where they may." Sting didn't say anything and just walked away... [C]

Hervey cam struck again and A.J. Styles was having a conversation with himself. He said he was the best in the world and needed to kill Jay Lethal. He wanted Lethal at Slammiversary...

A video package chronicling Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy over the past several weeks was shown. It all ended with the two of them finally shaking hands...

[Q5] Christy Hemme stood mid-ring and introduced Mr. Anderson. Anderson is number four on the Top Ten Contenders list...

Twill's Two Cents: Nice touch throwing that in there.

Anderson said he was looking forward to being interviewed by Christy, but he was distracted as he stared at her boobs. He said it did not make him a pig, but did it make him an asshole? "Sure does," said Christy.

He said everyone in the audience was waiting to see a wardrobe malfunction and that made all of them assholes too. "We are assholes" chants came from the crowd. If they want, they can go buy her Playboy. Just saying.

Anderson said he had a big announcement about Slammiversary. He said Beer Money needed opponents and Anderson could not do it alone. "It's not a party without Jeffrey Freakin' Nero Hardy." Hardy made his way out to the ring...

Twill's Two Cents: Freakin' is one of Hardy's middle names?

Hardy said people are wondering why he would team with Anderson. He said Anderson was the funniest asshole he has every met. He is also the craziest SOB outside of himself. Hardy said it was going to be a party at Slammiversary. Anderson said it was BYOB because he was a cheap asshole.

Beer Money's music hit and they came out to the ring. For some reason, Christy was still there. Roode said it was TNA's new BFFs. How cute. Roode asked what Hardy or Anderson knew about tag team wrestling. He told Hardy he was carried by his brother and they sucked anyway.

Roode said being a good tag team was like being like brothers. He called Hardy a moron and Anderson an asshole. He eventually got to his point and asked why they thought they could even step into the ring as Beer Money...

Twill's Two Cents: Roode was trying to explain to Hardy that tag teams need to be like brothers?

Anderson asked Roode why his hair was always wet. Then he asked why Storm always wore sunglasses indoors. "There are two types of men who wear sunglasses indoors. Blind people and jackoffs." Storm called Anderson "Mr. Funny Man" and hit him with a microphone. A brawl broke out and security tried to break it up... [C]

Twill's Two Cents: Good segment and nice clash of styles. Anderson and Hardy were fun loving and having a good time, while Beer Money was all business. The brawl was solid and this is a nice addition to the Slammiversary card.

[Q6] Back from commercial, Hardy and Storm were still brawling and they were supposed to face in singles match, but they never entered the ring and the bell never rang. Hardy rolled Storm into the ring...

4. Jeff Hardy defeated James Storm in 5:56. Storm hit a DDT for a two count. They went back and forth before Storm brought a chair in the ring. He didn't use it. Hardy set it up and hit the poetry in motion for a two count. He went for a Twist of Fate but hit a front suplex instead.

He went to the top for the Swanton. Storm crotched Hardy on the top rope. He tried a hurricarana but Hardy held on. Storm stood up and Hardy hit the Whisper in the Wind for a two count. Storm then spat beer in Hardy's face and hit a spinning Razor's Edge for a two count.

Storm tried to use the chair and ended up hitting himself with it. Hardy hit the Twist of Fate and the Swanton for the win... [C]

Twill's Two Cents: Entertaining match with a lot of nice nearfalls. Not a whole lot of in ring action to sink our teeth to tonight, but this was a good match coming off of a good promo segment involving the two teams.

Robert Roode made his entrance and Mr. Anderson was out next...

[Q7] 5. Robert Roode defeated Mr. Anderson in 4:54. Anderson rolled up Roode for a two count after a lot of back and forth early on. Roode grabbed the advantage and hit a few moves focusing on the head and neck of Anderson.

Anderson picked up Roode in a fireman's carry, but Roode slipped out with a thumb to the eye. Anderson tried a sunset flip pin from the ropes and Roode leaned forward, grabbed the ropes, and earned the victory...

Twill's Two Cents: Another solid match but with a screwy finish. I like this tag match for the PPV and they did a nice job of setting it up tonight.

Anderson grabbed his mic and said the only way Roode could beat him was by tom foolery. He said he was Mr. Anderson...

Douglas Williams cut a Hervey cam promo about being a great British wrestler. He said if someone was going to take the X Division Championship from him, they would have to outwrestle him and that was not going to happen...

Abyss, Chelsea, and Rob Terry made their way through the backstage area in preparation for a tag match against Orlando Jordan and Desmond Wolfe... [C]

Twill's Two Cents: That month as the chosen one didn't do much for Abyss after the fact.

A video package aired hyping Abyss and Rob Terry vs. Desmond Wolfe and Orlando Jordan. Wolfe and Jordan came out and Jordan had the Shake Weight...

Twill's Two Cents: The Shake Weight. If you haven't seen the SNL commercial for it, go check it out.

[Q8] They talked about Chelsea having to be with Abyss for thirty days. Taz wondered if Abyss even had a house...

Twill's Two Cents: Does Taz think Abyss lives in a swamp? By the way, does she have to live with him? That seems like an odd thing to put in a contract.

6. Abyss (with Chelsea) and Rob Terry defeated Orlando Jordan and Desmond Wolfe in 2:51. Abyss whipped Jordan to the floor. Jordan stood up and liked what he saw in Chelsea. "I wouldn't think she is his type," said Taz.

Chelsea slapped Jordan and he liked it. Wolfe yelled at Jordan and then at Chelsea. "I don't know if he likes you or he likes me." Abyss attacked Wolfe. In the ring, Terry hit the Freakbuster on Jordan for the win...

Twill's Two Cents: Wolfe is getting so wasted by this company right now. This is the same guy that debuted and punked out Kurt Angle. Now he is arguing with his girlfriend about a guy that wants to get them in a three way.

A video package showing the history of Jesse Neal with Team 3D was shown... [C]

Backstage, Jesse Neal was laid out over a crate. Nobody was helping him out...

Twill's Two Cents: So, the cameraman can show Neal, but not call for help? Now that is a professional!

Matt Morgan, Sting, Samoa Joe, and RVD made their entrances in that order. RVD is being billed as Mr. TNA now. Somebody check for me to see if there is someone on the roster with the initials of "TNA." ...

7. RVD defeated Samoa Joe, Sting, and Matt Morgan in 4:54. Just to clarify, this is not for the TNA Heavyweight Championship. They paired off. Joe fought with Morgan. RVD was busy with Sting. Van Dam shot Sting to the floor and then went toe to toe with Joe.

[Overrun] Check that. They were going to go toe to toe but Morgan and Sting saved that for another time by attacking both men. Joe and Morgan fought to the floor. RVD hit the top rope thrust kick and a rolling thunder for a two count.

Morgan nearly pinned Sting. Joe did the same but Morgan broke it up. Morgan laid out Joe and then Van Dam. Morgan looked up into the crowd and was surprised to see Hernandez. Funny, it looked like Tomko to me. Joe hit the Muscle Buster on Morgan.

RVD hit Joe with the top rope thrust kick. He then hit a monster five star from more than half way across the ring on Morgan for the win...

After the match, Joe went face to face with RVD...

Twill's Two Cents: Decent main event with the big story coming at the end there. Van Dam scored the victory, which was smart because he shouldn't have a loss as champion until he drops the belt. RVD and Joe is a feud we weren't expecting and by keeping them apart, they did a nice job keeping the fans anxious to see what is next from the two.

What did you think of the show? Feel free to let me know by shooting an email to dotnetrich@gmail.com.

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